Beck
My fingers felt numb from the strings on my bass practically making them raw. We'd been rehearsing for the past almost six hours. Playing and picking what songs sound aesthetically appealing beside each other. It might sound corny, but we really wanted to make sure we got it right. Even if it was just three songs at a high school dance. They were our main audience once before.
I think, for once, I'm excited to be a part of something at Ashland. In all honestly, I couldn't care less for the dance. I enjoyed performing and showcasing my talent. There's nothing like the feeling that music gives me. Tomorrow I really just want to impress Penelope. It feels like I haven't been able to truly show her who I am. Especially with her rivalry with Stella.
Unlike myself, Penny is thrilled for tonight. So much so, I'm willing to pretend for her. Which I'm okay with. I think watching her be happy makes me feel warm inside. I just was never a dance kind of guy, I guess. Really, I just can't dance. Whenever I least expect it, I have to swallow that pill for sure.
I'm working hard to keep what she and I have, going. Every day, I feel more guilty about what I did to her. We may not have been officially together, but I know it was a really shitty thing. If someone did that to me, I'd feel worthless, to say the least. I have to come clean soon. It sucks pretending to be something I'm not. It's not me at all.
I just want to make it through Homecoming. For once it feels like old times. Olivia and Jack are back in town. Lily is out of the hospital, and even though she's sneaking around with us, it's good to have her back. I just can't help but feel happy when it's like this.
After long hours of being with each other all day, I felt like I needed a joint and a good nap. We decided to disperse for a little break, plus one of my strings snapped so I was currently fixing it. Penny was hanging with Olivia which makes me happy. If she can't mesh with Danielle or Stella, at least she has Lily and Olivia.
This left me alone and open for conversation. Which I guess Jack felt the need to fulfill. I haven't had a conversation with him since our disagreement. It's just been small talk to help the band move along. I could keep it that way. I don't think trusting him is really an option. Time and time again, he shows me red flags. I still don't know if I trust him around Penny after what he said at the cabin.
As I sat down on a speaker, I rested my bass guitar on my lap, beginning to fiddle with the strings, trying to fix what I had done. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, an eager Jack, headed my way, ready to plop down beside me.
He did exactly that, on a speaker right next to me. Just what I was dreading.
"Hey. Look, I know we aren't close anymore, like in old times. Actually, things are just plain weird now. But, don't you feel like we should at least try to put it behind us? I just think it's stupid to let it keep going." he says, hesitant but shockingly sincere.
I still didn't want to buy it. A teeny prt of me really does want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it's hard when I have the lingering thought that I just gave him access to hurt me again.
"Actually, I was thinking, things should just stay how they are. I kinda like it better this way. Whatever weird thing it is." I say, flashing a small smile. I can't help but be an ass.
Jack sighs, clearly disappointed by my response, "Beck, c'mon dude, you're gonna have to talk to me about this, eventually. Why not now?" he says.
I finally look at him, giving him my attention, with a blank stare. He didn't budge. His face screamed guilt. I was starting to sort of feel bad.
I shook my head as I swung my bass strap over my head. I couldn't help but roll my eyes.
Continuing to look at him, I finally respond again, "I didn't wanna have to say it, but I guess you're bringing it out of me. I don't trust you anymore. I surely don't trust you around my girl..." I say, before smiling.
I show my hands in surrender as I continue, "and call me prideful or even an asshole, but I'm just trying to protect myself. I don't care about my ex, and regardless of what you did or didn't do, I will never know. I just know what I saw, and what I saw, really did really hurt me, Jack." I finish, feeling a sense of relief.
Relief or not, I still felt angry. I couldn't get back time for being in and out of the hospital or any anxiety attacks that happened after that. It may not be his fault, but I definitely think it triggered something in me. I feel constantly reminded of it. I just want to rewind to a time before any of this happened.
I stood up, and Jack didn't hesitate to stand up also. He placed a hand on my shoulder, making me shudder internally.
"Beck, I'm sorry," he said shrugging as if he were trying to find the words to say.
"I'm trying to explain that to you. You have to cut me some kind of slack. You know Heather and I were together for a while before you guys even started showing interest in each other. I'm trying my damndest with you right now." he says, staring me in the face.
I have to admit, he really was trying. Which I also hated. I would rather ignore him than forgive him, which isn't okay. He's been someone that helped me through a lot.
I glance at his hand, still resting on my shoulder, then back at him, sighing, "Okay. Just, at least give me some time. It might not be the same, ever." I say.
He smiles, sighing in relief, "Yeah, but you know you miss our three musketeer shenanigans."
I had to let a small heckle out. It was true, I did miss that. I noticed Olivia walking over toward us, followed by Craig, making Jack and I turn to them.
"So it's clear what songs we pretty much mastered, and which ones still kinda suck. I'm thinking we could definitely do at least two covers since it's a dance," she says, as we stand in a circle now.
"Let's certainly do 'Not Good Enough' by Blood Orange," I say, "we sound really tight and together in that."
Everyone nods, "Oh, and 'Disco' by Surf Curse. I like that one." Craig says, smiling.
"Okay, so then maybe 'Going Down In Flames' can be the original that we do?" Jack says, raising an eyebrow.
We all pretty much agreed. We never had a hard time making decisions together. It's another thing I loved about them.
"Okay, let's do it, in that order. Duet the first, split the last song?" Olivia says, looking at Jack,
"Let's do it." he grins.
Everyone begins to take there place and I started to quickly tune my instrument. I was starting to feel pretty confident about tomorrow now.
When we finally finished rehearsing, I found myself chugging some water. I couldn't get Jack and I's conversation out of my head. I didn't feel ready to tell him what I did, yet I did. I'm really praying that I didn't make a mistake.
For the past ten minutes or so, I noticed Jack had been posted up in a corner with Penny, having a conversation. Ten minutes too long for my liking. Maybe I am crazy, but I guess that's just what I'll have to be.
I packed up my bass and other things before walking up to them, in hopes that Penny would tag along with me in hanging out alone before she had to get home. I just didn't want to show her that I was feeling completely unsettled and pissed off. Or worse, make her think it's her that I don't trust.
I place a gentle hand around her waist as I approach them, looking down at her, "Wanna get out of here?" I say, biting my lip softly.
Her long dark hair swung around as she turn her head to face me, smiling, "Sure."
I smile at her before she says bye to Jack. We announced our exit to everyone as we said our goodbyes and headed out to my car, getting in.
Upon getting in the car, I sat back, closing my eyes before exhaling. For a moment I almost forgot I wasn't alone.
"Beck. You okay?" Penny says, placing a hand on my thigh.
I turn to face my head towards her, "Yeah." I say, softly.
She wasn't believing me for a second, but she wasn't one to pry.
I decided to drive us to my house for a bit. Since my mom would be at work for a little while longer and my brother wasn't home, it was perfect timing to maybe get a movie and a make-out session going with Penny.
As we pulled up to my house, I parked and took the keys out of the ignition. "I'm sorry. I just get really upset with things from the past. My conscience can't seem to let some things go. Especially with Jack. I see him with you and I just get so jealous." I say, feeling embarrassed after having thought about the situation.
"I'm sorry. Should I stay away from him? Cause I can." she says, so sweetly.
I chuckle softly and shake my head quickly, "What? No, Penelope, I'm your boyfriend, not your guardian. You don't have to shelter yourself for me. That's not fair. I just don't trust him, and I know that he has some kind of feelings for you." I say, assuring her.
She sank in her seat a bit, clearly feeling bad, "Can I ask what really happened between you two?" she practically whispered.
I look down at my lap, nodding as I say, "Honestly, before I would've had a clearer answer. Now I'm not sure. I was dating this girl. The one I told you about when we met?" I say, looking at her. She nods.
"She happened to be an ex of his, but it ended sometime before we were involved with each other. I guess they decided they still had feelings for each other and didn't wait to get back together when we ended. It was such a slap in the face. I'm pretty sure she wanted him the whole time." I say, shaking my head.
Penny smiles, leaning in a little bit, against the middle console as she places a hand in the crook of my neck, "Okay, but you don't actually think I would do that to you, right?" she let out a small laugh.
I couldn't help but smile too. She's so contagious that way.
"I would hope not. I trust you a lot." I say quietly, examining her face.
"I wouldn't. No lie," she says.
"Well, I hate to bring this up but, you're okay, right? Like... well I just was worried about..." I sigh trying to find the words to say. I really had been thinking about her puking in the bathroom a couple of weeks ago, very deeply. I know she said it was nothing, but her actions say otherwise. Skipping meals and constantly counting calories. My mom is the same way.
Finally, I spit it out and say "Are you purging? I just haven't been able to think about anything else since that one day. You barely eat. I'm worried, Penny." I sit up, showing her she has all of my attention.
"Penelope, I'm really into you. I care, a lot. You can tell me anything. I have no room to judge, I promise." I say, hoping she would open up about anything.
She continues to smile at me, shaking her head, "Beck, I'm fine. I feel fine."
I continue to stare at her. She leans in, placing her soft, cherry-flavored lips on mine, kissing me ever so sweetly. Just enough to make me forget this conversation.
I don't know if I should believe her. I want to. I just worry. But every time she kisses me, I feel a hole in my stomach. I can't keep lying to someone this innocent and sweet. It's wrong on every level. I just need to make it through tomorrow.
Lily
Today should feel so much better for me. My last homecoming. Bittersweet, but wonderful because it's one of the lasts in my life that I should feel happy about. I just can't. I can't stop thinking about the party. I feel humiliated.
Maybe not as bad as Stella. Not that bad at all, but people are still questioning me, and giving me looks. I can only imagine what she's going through, though. Apparently, she's dating Chase now, and that makes no sense to me.
I feel like a ghost, and nobody can see the real me. I never wanted high school to end so quickly. I didn't even care about memories anymore.
I thank the universe that I have Craig. Penelope and Beck too. They make me feel so good. So happy. But hiding them from my parents makes me feel awful. I feel like a shell of who I really am. I hate the hold that my father has over me.
Since I've gotten home, I've spent the past couple of days, making up different reasons to leave the house for student council, just so I could be with Craig. At least they like Penny. They still question my actions though.
Craig is so patient. He's done absolutely everything from climbing trees to sneaking me out in the middle of the night. I just don't know how long I can keep it up. I wish I could go back to before the party, and change everything.
Craig believes that Chase is responsible. So does Beck. Craig subtly brings up talking to the police, while Beck just makes sly comments to Chase in the hallways. It's actually getting scary and intense. I know what Craig and Chase can do as a team. They talk about telling someone, almost every time we're all together. I love that they care. I just don't want to talk about it anymore.
Craig tells me I can't keep pretending it didn't happen or that I'm not a victim. He's right. But I'd much rather pretend I don't exist for the next seven months. It's a lot easier of a bit, in my opinion.
This morning, I woke up bright and early with Penny to come to school. The first time in a long time that I wasn't lying about being here. She picked me up and we came together. She's just the pick-me-up that I need these days, it seems.
We decided we wanted to add some finishing touches to the gym. Extra decorations and some counting, nothing big. It was also a reason to meet up with our boyfriends before tonight.
I began to test lights as Penny took inventory. It felt more like I was in another world though, with the way my mind was racing.
"I think I spent almost three hours trying different hairstyles for tonight. I can't believe I'm this hung up on my appearance." Penny laughs, writing things down on the clipboard.
I smile, listening to her continue as she looks at me, "I think I'm gonna try and get serious with Beck tonight though. I wanna show him I'm only his." she says, letting a breath out.
I furrow my brows, giggling a bit, "But you are his. I don't understand Penny. If you aren't ready, totally don't do it." I say, shaking my head.
"I mean, I want to take our relationship to the next level. I really like him. I think I should stop trying to be this good girl and show him a different side of me." she smiles, confidently.
"Wow, you must really love him, huh?" I say, unable to think of a different response.
She lets out a scoff and a laugh, "Wait, you don't actually think I'm a virgin do you?" she raises a brow.
I was guilty. I smile nervously.
She shakes her head, continuing to softly laugh at the idea, talking more, "Contrary to belief, I'm not. I just only have been with one guy... and it was one time. I don't know what it's like to hook up or anything."
I smile, "There's nothing wrong with that, Penny. I wouldn't judge, either way. Besides, the good thing is, it's only gonna make him wanna be with you more. He seems infatuated with you, in a good way. And honestly, someone should get some tonight if it's not me and Craig." I laugh.
Penny laughs back and we savor the moment. She then sighs peacefully.
"So, how are things at home?" she says, hesitantly.
I shrug, "A living hell. I miss privacy." I say, feeling sad again.
"At least they're letting you go to homecoming? I mean, you can't be open with Craig a whole lot, but it still counts, right?" she says. She was trying to create some kind of hope for me, but I just couldn't feel it.
"Yes, but it's only because of my student council presidency. I have to be here tonight. If not, I'd just be home right now, begging my parents for another chance." I say, emotionless as I think of doing that.
"Jeez. I'm sorry Lil. Maybe your dad will come around soon? There's still time to make up." she says, soothingly.
"Make up?" I scoff, softly, "I'm lucky if they ever even look at me again. When my dad is sure of something, he never goes back on his word. That's why Jack left. He got top surgery and it was the final straw. They never respected his transition." I say, frustrated as I shake my head, walking over to her as she stood at the future punch and food table.
Penelope turns to face me, "Wait, Jack is trans? No wonder he stays in New York. That's so degrading of them." she says as a look of disgust filled her face.
I nod, "I wish I could run away sometimes." I say.
She hugs me from the side, causing me to lean my head on her shoulder.
Just then, footsteps echoed through the air, getting closer and closer in sound, making us turn to the entrance of the gym. It was Craig.
"I hope I'm not interrupting. I was here for a bit," he says, giving a charming smile.
Penny looks at me and smiles, "I'm gonna grab our coffee from the office." she says, walking off as she and Craig quickly greet each other before leaving us alone.
Craig approaches me, towering over me as usual. I look up at him as he graces me with his presence, holding an almost medium-sized box in his hand.
He takes my hand, interlocking our fingers as he kisses the top of mine, "Why so glum, chum?" he jokes, making me smile.
I shrug, swinging our arms a little, "Nothing. Just talking about my nightmare of parents. I wish it wasn't like this, Craig." I say, looking down.
He kisses my head, letting go of my hand before wrapping his arm around me, beginning to walk us to some chairs, and sitting down. I sit beside him, slouching in my seat.
He then sets the box on my lap, "If it were up to me, Lily, I would runaway with you right now. Just like you said. And think, we'll find out who really did this, and all of this hell will be over." he says, facing me in his chair.
I look at the box and half smile, tucking my hair behind my ears, "What is this?" I ask.
"Now what kind of surprise would it be if I told you?" he jeers, chuckling deeply.
I look down at it, slowly removing the lid of the box, revealing what's inside.
It was a corsage made of Calla Lilies. The pure white ones. There were also small vines of Baby's-breath, surrounding them. It was a set I had been looking at in a nearby flower shop's garden, nearby. They always advertise handmade corsages during this time of year and for prom. I was shocked he even knew I had my eye on it.
"I hand-picked them from that shop you like, down the road there? I hope they match well. I'm really no good at these types of things." he says, pointing them out.
I couldn't help but be speechless for a moment as I examined them. He always seemed to know how to really, truly reach my heart.
I look at him, placing a hand on my heart, "Craig, it's insanely beautiful. You're so thoughtful." I say, passionately, placing a hand on his cheek as I lean in, kissing him.
I could feel his smile through the kiss as he leaned in, resting his hand on my waist.
We pull away after a moment, but he always lingers with me when we kiss, reminding me to forget about all my problems, yet again. I sigh in satisfaction.
"I'm worried about Stella, Craig," I say, unable to stop thinking about my thoughts of earlier. "I know we don't exactly get along, but what if Beck is right? What if he did do it? It doesn't make sense that they're dating. If you call it that." I say, shaking my head.
Craig rests his elbows on his knees, leaning over, "Well, it's like we've said before. The only way to know is by reporting him. Which from what Beck tells me, Stella refuses to do. So maybe you can?" he suggests.
I stand up, closing the box and setting it on the chair, "I don't know. You know that confrontation makes me uncomfortable, Craig." I say, crossing my arms.
He stands up also, placing both of his hands on my biceps, "Lily, you have me. Beck too, you're gonna be fine. But you're gonna have more trouble walking these halls for the next six months with him around, knowing he's responsible." he says, sternly.
I turn my head, not wanting to look him in the eye. I knew he was right, though.
When I turned my head, I saw Beck, turning into the gym, typing on his phone. He caught the last of our conversation, making him stop in his tracks.
"Sorry, I was bringing supplies for Penny. Bad timing?" he says, nervously smiling.
Craig stands up straight, looking at Beck, "Beck, should Lily report Craig?" he asked, seriously.
Beck's smile slowly fell, "Is that a serious question?" he says, setting the bags down on a table as he made his way over to us, "If it wasn't for Stella and him being together, I would do it myself. It's eating me alive not to actually hurt him myself." he says.
Penny then rushes in, hugging Beck from behind. He smiles, wrapping an arm around her as she steps to the side of him.
"I just wanna have a good night guys. Can we just focus on that right now." I state, exhaling as I was starting to become overwhelmed.
"I have no idea what the topic is, but Lily's right," Penny says, trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah. You're right, I'm sorry. We'll wait." Craig says, placing a hand on my shoulder to bring me closer to him.
"So it's agreed that we're going in your car, right Craig?" Beck asks.
Craig nods, "Yep. Penny will pick up Lily with you in your car, so it looks good. Then you'll come to my place and we'll go in mine. Jack and Liv will meet us here." he says.
We all nod in agreement at the plan. I smile, looking at all of them, "I am kind of excited, now that it's getting closer. Even though this senior year isn't exactly how I imagined it, I'm just happy to be here with you guys." I say, hugging Craig's side.
"Aw, how sappy and sweet. Leave it to Lillian." Beck says, chuckling as he teases me, making the gym filled with laughter.
I'm just gonna pretend that I'm in a fairytale until I have to go back to reality at my house tonight.
Danielle
I feel like everything this school year so far has been like a long-ass fever dream. One I can't wake up from. Everyone around me can't seem to catch a break. I'm almost scared I might get some kind of karma soon too.
Mainly it's Stella that I'm worried for. She's not been right ever since that cabin trip. I know she's struggling to accept Beck and Penelope. I just wish she'd realize that she can have anyone she wants. Why she would pick Chase though? I have no idea.
Chase is like one of those disgusting vultures from 'The Jungle Book'. He's conniving in every way possible. He always has been. I always knew to steer clear of him. He would never hesitate to end someone just because of a bad rumor. Maybe even for looking at him wrong.
That's exactly what you get when your parents are politicians. They only care about them being right and will manipulate you until they dry you out. I honestly think Chase knows exactly what he did and why it was wrong. Stella's just vulnerable and he can use that to his own advantage, right now.
I love Stella. I care about her and she's become an amazing friend to me. I really want to get to the bottom of this, whether she likes it or not.
I've gotten her to hang out with me, every chance I can. For example right now. I figured she could come to help me with my hair for later. We're both naturally curly queens, and she knows exactly what I need.
I was currently sitting at my vanity, making conversation with Stella as I looked at her through the mirror. She was face-deep in her phone, texting someone that I could only assume was Chase. Figures.
"One more year and we'll be doing this one last time. Isn't that crazy?" I say, letting out a half-suppressed laugh, trying to get her to put her phone down.
She looks up at me through the mirror, smiling, "Maybe for you, but for me, I'm dying for this to be over." she shakes her head.
I roll my eyes, playfully, "Well hopefully with Beck tutoring you, you're gonna be just fine. I really want us to be in this together." I say, tightening a bow around my ponytail.
"You know, you have got to be the sappiest person I have ever met," she responds, laughing.
I grin, proudly before laughing back. I then turn my body to face her.
"Remind me again why you can't just meet Chase there. It's so much easier that way. Is he even picking you up?" I say. I was just so fed up with hearing about this kid already.
"I told you. He wants to meet up early," she says, being her attention right back to her phone.
I huff softly, "Stella, you can't be serious?" I say. I really meant that about her entire relationship.
"What?" she says, looking at me for a second, confused.
I lick my lips, inhaling as I feel nervous to speak up, but I pull it together, standing up, "Don't you think this relationship is a little bit toxic? I mean, he seems like an asshole. You never batted an eye at him, and now? This just seems kind of out of character for you, that's all." I say, trying to be as nice as possible with my words.
She glares at me for a moment, ridiculing me with her eyes before scoffing at me as she collected her things.
"Since when does everyone think they know me so well? First Beck, now you? Typical." she snaps, beginning to slip her shoes on to leave.
"Uh, maybe since we started being your friend? Stella, we're worried. This relationship doesn't seem safe!" I finally erupted.
"Oh really, well why can't you just be happy for me Dani? Out of everyone, I actually want that from you, the most!" she grabs her bag, tossing it onto her shoulder.
I furrow my eyebrows, smacking the back of my hand onto the palm of my other as I talk back to her.
"He roofied you, Stella! Then proceeded to take a video and post it online. Is that not psycho? Even in the slightest?" I saw, actually shocked at this point by her responses.
"l gotta go..." she mumbles, staring me in my eyes as hers filled with tears.
"Wait, Stella, please," I say. She ignores me instead, turning and rushing out of my room.
I groan, walking back to my vanity as I plop down, looking at myself in the mirror. I glance at my phone for a moment before picking it up quickly, hurrying my fingers to get me to my contacts, face timing Lily.
I waited a moment before she picked up. She was noticeably doing her hair also.
"Hey, I was thinking about you. I was gonna call and see if you were coming, but it seems like you're way ahead of the game," she says in a bubbly tone.
I smile, "Duh, it's Homecoming. Might not be my last year, but it's special for you guys. But actually... that's not why I'm calling." I say, leaning onto my vanity.
"Is everything okay?" Lily says, holding her phone closer.
"No. That's sort of the problem. I know you guys aren't close, but forget that for just a moment. It's Stella. I think he might be up to something more deeper and serious with her. He totally roofied you both. It adds up, you don't think?" I say, feeling the hair on my arms stand up straight.
Lily closes her eyes for a moment before opening them and looking at me, "Dani, I love you, but I feel like this is all anyone has been talking about lately." she says, softly.
I felt bad, but I couldn't help myself, now.
"Okay, but really quick, hear me out. Chase posted that video, and now they're dating. He just gets off scot-free now? No consequences? You guys couldn't have been the only ones either. That's not suspicious to you?" I say, hoping and pleading that she gives me some sort of support right now.
"It is. But what's your point, Dani? There's no proof. Getting justice is a long shot." Lily says, exhausted from the conversation.
"Not if we talk to Craig's parents? If I'm not mistaken, there are still cameras in his house. Remember his parents installed them after the robbery? They're practically everywhere in there." I say, getting eagerness in my tone.
A knock persists on Lily's door for a moment.
"Gotta go, love ya." she spat, ending the calling quickly, leaving me in silence again.
I sigh, sitting back again, holding my phone in my hand.
I honestly know exactly who would be able to help me. I just hate to involve him. But knowing Lily and how she feels about Craig, she would never involve him, and she doesn't seem certain herself. I am though.
I go to my contacts on my phone once more, scrolling through until I reach the name that I want. Not only does he care about Lily, but he cares about Stella. Probably even more.
I hit dial, calling him, anxiously waiting for someone to pick up.
Finally, someone did. A deep voice filled the phone.
"Hello?" he said, softly.
"Beck. I need you for something. I think I know how to fix all this mess." I say.
I know he has the guts to fix this with me.