Ever's pov
I need air! I can't– I can't breathe!
Now I understand why Mom hates me so much! I– I can't stay here, I need to leave!
I could just barely hear my dad calling for me over the sound of my rapidly beating heart as I headed for the door. Grabbing my dad's car keys on the way out.
"Ever? Sweetheart? Where are you going?! " I harshly pulled my arm out of his grasp when he tried to stop me.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!– just… Please don't touch me right now. I need to be alone… " Tears continuously streamed down my face as I glared at him, feeling hurt and disgusted by the fact that he would keep something like this from me. His daughter.
Hearing all the commotion, Adrian ran outside. When he saw me and the tears falling from my eyes, he glowered at my father.
"What the hell did you do to her!? "
"Adrian, stop!" I shouted in fear when I saw that he was about to punch my dad across the face. Not saying that he doesn't deserve it though…
"Please I promise I'll explain everything when I get back, but for now I just need to be alone for a little while… " I wrapped my arms around myself, shaking my head when he tried taking a step towards me.
Hurt painted his eyes for a moment, but he nodded his head anyway, "I'll be waiting…" I gave him the best smile I could muster in that moment, but with how bad my lips were trembling I knew it wasn't a very big one.
"Please, be careful," Dad said and it took almost all of my willpower to not punch him in the face myself. But I held back because of how defeated he looked right now, so I just gave him a curt nod.
...…
I ended up stopping at a nearby lake, the words that Dad spoke kept replaying on a loop in the back of my head as I stared off into the ripples on the water.
FLASHBACK
"Niko… was my twin brother who died at… birth? " I repeated slowly trying to make sense of the sudden revelation. Dad only nodded his head starting at the ground.
"How did he die? " I asked, trying to swallow the lump that was forming in the back of my throat.
"It was an accident– the doctors had warned us that something like this would be possible, but– " he was deflecting and it was starting to piss me off.
"how. Did. He. Die." I asked a little more forcefully this time and was met with an exasperated sigh, a tear slipping from his silvery gray eyes.
He cleared his throat, " an umbilical cord wrapped around his throat. "
"You mean my umbilical cord wrapped around his throat…" It was more of a fact than a question when I realized what my dad meant in the dream/ memory I had during my nap yesterday.
"You know as well as I do that what happened to Niko wasn't Ever's fault! She was a newborn for heaven's sake! "
Now it all makes sense… why mom hates me, why Vittoria called me a murderer… they were right… I am a murderer…
I killed my twin brother…
It wasn't your fault, Ever. Things like this just happen– it's rare, but it happens. "
"It just happens?! I– I can't do this right now! " I stood up from the couch, pacing around the room in bewilderment.
I need to calm down– stress isn't good for the babies!
"You can't do what right now? " Slight anger slipped through his tone as he stood up from the couch as well, with his hands on his hips.
"You were the one who wanted to know all of this, so tell me Ever! What. Can't. You. Do?! "
"LOOK AT YOU! " I wailed, tears streaming down my face like heavy rain in a hurricane as I scowled at him.
My breathing had become shallow and I felt like I was in the doctor's office again. I leaned against the wall beside me and closed my eyes, trying to focus on something other than the fact that I feel like I'm dying.
"I need to get out of here! " I whispered to myself, opening my eyes. I quickly walked to the door, snatching Dad's keys in the process.
END OF FLASHBACK
I was startled out of my thoughts when an unfamiliar hand grabbed my shoulder. I would have laughed at the deja vu of this situation, but I was too busy screaming and punching the guy who grabbed me.
"Ow! Ow– hey calm down! I'm– ow! I'm not gonna hurt you Ever! "I froze when my unknown assailant called me by name. Well, I would probably know who he was if I would open my eyes…
Slowly opening my eyes, I backed away. The first thing I noticed about the person in front of me was that he was a boy who looked to be my age or a few years younger.
He's fairly thin and lean, like someone who would be on the swim team– or track and field. His hair and eyes are a lot like my own. His shaggy ink-black locks are layered just shy of his chin and his bangs rest just below his thin eyebrows. His eyes remind me of a cloudy blue sky, the blue being more prominent than mine. He isn't very tall, maybe 1-2 inches taller than me– so roughly 5'3"- 5'4" -ish.
"I'm sorry… Do I know you? I feel like I've met you before..." I asked, trying to shake this uneasy feeling I have.
When I first saw him I thought that I was looking into a mirror, but I know that I'm probably just projecting what I think my brother would have looked like had I not killed him the day we were born.
"I take it you don't remember me? " he asked, pulling the sleeves of his gray sweatshirt down over his small veiny hands. He seems kinda shy and awkward.
Adorable!
I slowly shook my head no, taking a small step toward him. He looked down with a sigh, and I felt bad for not remembering who this person was. Looking back up at me with a gentle smile, he reached his hand out.
"That's alright, I think the last time we actually spoke to each other we were in the 6th grade and it was for an English project in Mrs. Reynold's class. " I placed my hand in his as he lightly shook it, "My name's Taylor Hartley, it's good to see you again, Ever! "
Ahh, that's why he looks so familiar! I guess it has been almost 6 years…
"Yeah, it's good to see you! I'm so sorry I didn't recognize you! So much shit has happened– some of it I'm still trying to process…" I muttered the last part to myself, sitting back down on the log near the lake. He sat down beside me,
"Yeah, I've heard. " I gave him a confused look and he pointed to my stomach with a small smile. "Congrats by the way, you're having twins right? " I nodded my head, placing a hand over my stomach, and giggled when I felt a small kick.
"You know, I always knew Enzo was an asshat, but I never thought that he was capable of ditching someone in the middle of nowhere. Especially someone who is pregnant with his kids. " Taylor laced his fingers together in tight fists on his lap, glaring into the water in front of us.
I could feel more tears well up in my eyes as I studied the side of Taylors' face. I can't help but wonder if my brother would have reacted the same way Taylor is right now. Fists clenched in anger, but a soft understanding in his eyes when he looked at me.
"Are you okay Ever? "
"No– no not really… " I cleared my throat looking back out towards the rippling waters, wiping away my tears.
I could see from my peripheral the way his leg bounced, and how he bit at the skin around his nails. I wonder if he's trying to find a way to comfort me.
"My dad just told me I had a twin that died at birth… " I blurted out and winced immediately after speaking. I don't know why I was telling him this. Maybe it's because he reminds me of the brother I would have had.
"... Shit… " was all he said as he sat still next to me, probably frozen from shock like I was.
"Yeah… "
"How– uh– how did it happen?" he asked in a tender voice, sliding over slightly so that our shoulders were touching. I didn't move and played with my fingers– staring off across the lake.
"I killed him… " My voice was shaky as my lips trembled, and I could feel my throat tighten like a noose around my throat. I tightened my hands into fists, ignoring the stinging pain of my nails digging into the palms of my hands.
"My umbilical cord wrapped around his throat when we were born… The doctors were too late and couldn't save him in time…" Another sob crashed over me like a tidal wave as I covered my face with my hands, too afraid to see the disgust on Taylor's face.
But instead of saying anything he did something that I felt I didn't deserve.
He pulled me into his chest and held me in his arms.
They weren't as warm as Adrian's, and they didn't feel the way my father's hugs do– but it was still nice.
"The scariest part of all of this is the fact that I'm having twins… " I mumbled resting my chin on his shoulder, "What if the same thing happens to them? I don't think I could handle it if something were to happen to either of them!–" Firmly grabbing me by the shoulders, Taylor forced me to look at him.
"Hey don't think like that! Nothing like what you are going through will happen to them! I know this because you are going to be an amazing mom who does everything In her power to make sure it doesn't– even if that means going to see the doctor more often than most! "
"Do you really think so? " I asked, feeling slightly shocked at the sudden confidence radiating from the smaller boy in front of me.
"Without a shadow of a doubt! " he nodded, smiling warmly at me.
I pulled away, turning back toward the lake feeling so much more confident and less angry than I was when I got here. "Thank you, Taylor. I think I feel much better now! " I smiled, placing my hand back on my stomach, my babies kicks tickled my hands making my smile grow.
"Do you want to feel? " I asked, gesturing to my stomach and he smiled nodding his head. When his hand came in contact with my stomach, they picked again, making Taylor jump slightly.
"Doesn't that feel weird? Two little him and kicking inside of you? " I couldn't help but laugh, nodding my head.
"It's definitely weird, but totally worth it…"
For a few minutes, Taylor and I talked about a lot of things. I talked about Adrian and how he found me on the side of the road when Enzo left me. And he told me about how he met his boyfriend Ryan at a swim meet 2 years ago. It was the typical rivals-to-lovers story you would probably find online or in books.
"Speaking of Ryan, he's probably wondering where I am! " he stood up from his spot next to me on the moss-covered log, stretching his body. "I was supposed to be buying snacks from the store, but I saw you crying. "
I stood up after him, following him away from the lake and hoping that I'll be able to feel my butt again sooner rather than later.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you–" Before I could even finish my apology, Taylor wrapped me in another hug effectively shutting me up.
"You don't need to apologize all the time Ever. Besides, I can just tell him that a friend needed me." he winked and I could feel my cheeks turn slightly pink. "We are friends, right? Because –"
"Without a shadow of a doubt! " I repeated his words with a smile that he returned gratefully.
I offered him a ride to his house when we made it back to my car– sorry my dads' car– and he graciously accepted. We jammed to old early 2000s music all the way to his house and I offered to pick him up again for school tomorrow.
"Thanks for the ride Ever! I hope that everything works out between you and your family. " he hugged me again through the window, kissing my cheek lightly.
I hope so too…