Ever's pov
It was a roughly 20-minute drive back to the house after I dropped off Taylor. Nearly 2 and a half hours have passed since I ran out of the house– which was much longer than I intended. Adrian and my dad are probably worried.
The drive back home was quiet, other than the murmur of the radio. The skies have slowly dimmed into various hues of gray and I could hear thunder rumbling in the distance. It's mid-September now, so the leaves on the trees have already begun to change and fall. Their bright warm colors decorate the streets and sidewalks– giving off a romantic autumn glow.
Coming to a stop at the red light near home, I caught a glimpse of a small family playing outside– they were chasing each other around a giant pile of leaves. The scene made a ghost of a smile appear on my lips. I hope that I'll be able to make my kids as happy as those kids running around are.
If my brother had lived, would that have been the life we had?
Would we have been happy? Chasing each other around without a care in the world?
The blaring sound of a horn from the car behind me pulled me out of thoughts of 'would haves' and 'what ifs'. Muttering apologies to no one in particular, I continued strolling down the street. That family I saw stayed in the back of my mind for the rest of the drive home.
The first thing I saw when I pulled into the weed-filled gravel driveway was Adrian sitting in one of the wicker chairs on the porch, with his head in his hands. Seeing the way his legs bounced and how he clutched onto his phone so tight that I could see from here how white his knuckles were, made me feel guilty for making him so worried.
I know how this is gonna sound, but seeing how worried he is about me makes me feel all warm inside. I don't think anyone has ever worried about me as much as he is right now– Other than Bri of course.
"Okay let's get this over with… " I sighed, hopping out of the car– accidentally slamming the door closed.
Seconds after I had closed the door, Adrian was already by my side– pulling me into his warm embrace.
"Oh thank god!" letting out a relieved sigh he pulled away slightly to examine my face, "You're okay! " he whispered, pulling me to his chest one more time. I mumbled an apology– letting his scent of lavender and cedarwood ground me.
"When I couldn't get a hold of you… I thought something happened… " I could hear how fast his heart was beating as my head rested against his chest. His voice was a bit uneven as he pulled me tighter into his embrace, his nose in my hair.
"I'm sorry… I forgot my phone… " I grabbed a fistful of the back of his shirt holding him almost painfully tight. We stayed like that for a few minutes– just holding each other close.
Almost like if we were to blink the other would disappear. It was comforting and I could stay in his arms all day if I could.
I surely think I'm in love with this man… Adrian Wolf what have I done to deserve you?...
Adrian's pov
Holy fuck I'm so glad that Ever's okay…
About half an hour after she left, I tried texting her to see if she was okay. When I didn't get a response after another half-hour, I assumed that maybe she didn't get my message. So I tried calling her instead– no answer. That was when panic slowly started to set up camp in the pit of my stomach.
After the 6th call and 15th text, the camp had turned into a large village and I was on the verge of going out to search for her.
All I could think was, what if she got into an accident? Should I try calling her again? Should I call Bri to see if she's heard from Ever? No, she's At school I don't wanna get her In trouble.
Should I go search for her?
Aaron– Ever's dad– left in a fit of rage and despair shortly after I called her the first time, walking his way back to the community college. I didn't bother trying to stop him either– mostly because I'm still pissed off that he made Ever cry.
I don't know what they talked about that made her so angry, but I hope that she'll tell me when she feels comfortable enough to. At the moment, holding her in my arms like this is enough for me.
...…
Ever's pov
When the rain started to fall, we hurried to the porch not wanting to get sick.
"Are you okay? " Adrian asked after we had settled on the small wicker couch that matched the chair he was previously sitting on.
I played with his hands that were wrapped around my stomach while I tested my back against his chest, contemplating his question.
" I will be… someday. "
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, lightly squeezing my hand and bringing it up to his lips, leaving a soft peck on my knuckles.
I nodded while letting out a shaky breath, snuggling into his side. The air had gotten a bit chilly since the rain started, but I refused to go inside. The cold breeze and the warmth of Adrian's embrace are the only things keeping me from breaking down again.
"I'm here for you precious… always."
So I told him everything.
About the bomb Dad dropped on me. About the new fears that I have about this pregnancy. And mourned the brother I never got to know.
As I was telling him all of this, he never once let me go and his face remained neutral until I was finished.
...…
Adrian's POV
What. The fuck…
And here I thought that my past was fucked up.
I sat patiently, listening to Ever as she poured her heart out. She blames herself for something that she had no control over and it's taking everything in me not to just kiss her soft lips to shut her up.
In all honesty, no one's to blame for Niko's death. Not Ever– or her parents. But I do however blame her parents for not telling her about him sooner. Especially her dad because he knows that she's pregnant with twins.
I don't even know what to say to her…
What do you say to someone whose whole world has turned upside down in one morning?...
Guess I'll just wing it and hope for the best… I'm not very good at talking about my emotions– or comforting people with words of reassurance.
I'm definitely not the therapist friend, that's for sure…
But I'll try my best for her.
A bright flash of lighting followed by the loud crack of thunder snapped us both out of our dazes as Ever nearly jumped into my lap. An involuntary chuckle left my lips and she slightly pouted, nestling her face against my side.
"Come here precious, " carefully pulling her back onto my lap so that way she was straddling me, I gazed into her eyes with nothing but adoration and sincerity.
"I just feel like I don't have the right to mourn over someone that not only I killed– but someone I never had the chance of knowing… " she mumbled, and I could see tears glaze over her eyes once more. God, I hate seeing her cry…
Cupping her face in my hands, I pulled her closer and rested my forehead against hers.
"You are allowed to mourn because you never got to meet him– just like it's okay for you to imagine what your life would have been like had Niko survived, but don't let those thoughts consume you." I took a deep breath, her scent of lavender and mint slowly broke down the walls I had held up since I was 15 years old.
" I know what it's like to live every day and wonder– 'What if I had only stopped my mom from leaving the house that morning? Would she be alive right now?'." I could hear Ever take in a sharp breath, but she didn't interrupt me.
"At some point, I realized that if those 'what ifs' had actually played out then I would have never met my best friend, I would never have known Paula– I would have never met you~" The thought of never meeting Ever physically hurts me– almost like Jade had taken one of her sledgehammer and swung it at my chest.
"We can't change the past, just like we can't blame ourselves for things we couldn't control. So please… stop blaming yourself. What happened to Niko was a tragedy, yes. But it wasn't your fault… Do you understand? "
I pulled away slightly to see her face as she nodded, and I never wanted to kiss someone so badly in my life. Her beautiful gray eyes were puffy from crying, and her hair was disheveled. She'd say that she looks like a mess.
Me? I think she's the most beautiful person I have ever met. Inside and out.
"Words, precious… I need to hear that you understand what I'm saying."
She wrapped her arms around my neck, clinging to me like a koala as I carried her into the house and up to her room.
"I understand Bub… "
"Good. "
...…
Ever's pov
Adrian and I have been cuddling on my bed, in a comfortable for the last hour. And during this time I have been seriously thinking about what he had said. I think that a part of me will always blame myself for what had happened to Niko, but I also know that I can't keep dwelling on it.
I will mourn for my brother, but what kind of a mother would I be if I let those negative thoughts consume me? I don't want to be like my mother.
It may take me a little while to fully come to terms with everything, but I've decided—
I'm going to live my life for the both of us. For the life Niko never got to live, and for a life I always envisioned having. A loving and supportive family.
Another thing that I had been thinking about was what he had said about his mom. About how if only he had stopped his mom from leaving the house– It makes me want to ask him about what happened and how she died. But I don't want him to think that he has to tell me just because I told him about Niko– I want him to be willing to tell me.
"You can ask me you know… " his deep voice cut through my thoughts, startling me.
"huh? " I was so startled that the question just kind of slipped from my lips as I lifted my head from his chest to look at him.
He gave me a soft smile and used his hand that rested behind his head to swipe away a strand of my hair that had fallen into my face.
"About my mom, you can ask me… "
I was reluctant to ask at first, but seeing the resolve in his eyes I caved.
"How old was she when she…?" I couldn't seem to finish my sentence so I squeezed his hand gently in mine as I sat up to give him my full attention.
"When she died? " he sat up too, pulling me over so I could sit closer. I only nodded in response.
"She was 35. I was 15 and Jade was 4 at the time so she doesn't really remember much of our mom… " Adrian swallowed thickly and cleared his throat after mentioning how little time Jade actually had with their mom.
It breaks my heart knowing that Jade didn't get to know their mother like Adrian did.
"What happened to her? " I asked, but before he could answer my stomach decided to interrupt– growling like I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.
But then I remembered...
I didn't eat breakfast.
Adrian sighed with a slight laugh at the end as he stood up from the bed and made his way to the door.
"I guess you'll just have to wait until I come back to find out… " I chuckled a bit when he winked, but I didn't protest.
I want to know what happened, sure, but I know he needs a minute to gather his thoughts. Plus I'm starving and I feel bad that I never got to eat the pancakes he made for me this morning.
He came back a few minutes later with a plate filled with pancakes and a cup of tea. He must have read my mind or something because this is perfect.
"Thank you! " I kissed his cheek and he nodded.
"Now where was I…? "