⚠️WARNING!⚠️
This chapter has topics that may be triggering for some!
i.e: eating disorders
⚠️VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED!!⚠️
This chapter is going to be pretty long so hold on to your butts! Maybe get some tissues prepared too just in case... 👀
Adrian's pov
Amelia Wolf… My mom… Was the person who taught me that pain is beauty and not the other way around. She was my superhero.
I just wish I could've been hers.
My mom was a single mother who did everything she could to make sure my sister and I had everything we ever needed and then some. She worked three part-time jobs during the late evenings into the early mornings and only slept when Jade and I went to school and daycare.
I never knew how hard she was working until one night at around 4:30 in the morning, she collapsed in the kitchen from exhaustion. This happened while I was getting a glass of water– now mind you I was 14 at the time and very close with my mom. So seeing her in that state scared the living hell out of me.
"Mom! " I screamed out, crouching down on the floor, shaking her slightly. Her breathing was so shallow that I thought the worst—
that she had literally dropped dead.
Have you ever had to check your mother's pulse after watching her collapse on the cold hard kitchen floor? It's fucking traumatizing!
I was instantly relieved though when I could feel her heartbeat, but then I became increasingly more worried as I looked at her features more closely.
Her once beautiful silky chestnut brown hair was more matted and dull than I remember it being. And her cheeks, once full with a natural blush, were now sunken in and ghostly pale. As I helped lift her from the floor I was shocked to find that I could lift her a little too easily.
I never noticed it before because she always wore baggy clothes, but she was sickly thin. I could almost feel her bones through her shirt.
It made me start to really think about the last time I ever saw my mother eat something in front of Jade and I. It's August now so I think that the last time I saw her eat was maybe 3 months ago during a family picnic we had for Jade's 3rd birthday. I just assumed that she ate when we weren't around…
I carefully laid her on the couch so as to not wake her up, and ran to her bedroom that was on the second floor of the house to grab her pillows and one of her thick blankets.
When I got back downstairs, Mom was already sitting up, looking confused as to how she had gotten there from the kitchen. It made me wonder how many times she's woken up on the floor while Jade and I were sleeping.
When she saw me carrying her stuff into the sparsely decorated living room, she was shocked and confused as to why I was awake.
"Bubba, why are you awake so early? You don't have to get ready for school for another… 2 and a half hours?" she asked, nearly slurring her words from fatigue as she squinted through the darkness at the clock hanging on the wall.
Tossing the things I brought down on the couch next to her, I broke down– not caring about the fact that i'm a 14 year old boy or about how pathetic I might feel later.
I was absolutely devastated to know that she was struggling in silence for so long. And that I had just seemingly ignored the signs I hadn't even realized we're there.
"I'm s,sorry mom! So, so, s-sorry! "
I just kept apologizing to her over and over about how much of a dick I had been to her, and how I would stop taking advantage of the things she has given me. But I think it was when I had mentioned helping more around the house that she realized what was going on.
"My beautiful baby boy… " she cooed, stroking my hair soothingly as she gently lifted my head that was resting on her lap.
She wiped the tears from my eyes, giving me a soft yet stern look, "... You have nothing to apologize for– if anything I'm sorry that you had to see me like that! Work has just been kicking my ass a little more than usual is all…"
"You haven't been eating. " I stated matter-of-factly and felt the way she flinched at my words.
"I eat when I have time! " she shrugged and it was my turn to scold her.
"And when do you have the time Mom? When was the last time you ate? " I crossed my arms over my chest as I stood up, sniffing slightly.
"I eat during my breaks sweetheart, you really don't need to worry, I'm fine! " she yawned a bit at the end, and it made me feel bad for pushing this– but I have too! I'm worried that she's taking care of us at her own expense.
"really? " I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "What did you eat today then? "
I feel like I'm talking to Jade with the way she's acting. Mom pouted her lips and crossed her arms, giving me an annoyed glare. She's 34– not 3!
"Sweetheart I promise, I bought a sandwich and some snacks! " she tried sounding confident at her answer, but I knew she was lying.
She calls me sweetheart when she lies. And she's called me that twice now.
"Show me the receipts then!" I countered, bringing my hand forward.
"I don't have to show you anything! I'm your mother for God's sake! " she raised her voice which would usually intimidate me, but I wasn't going to give up on this.
Despite my growing anger, I remained calm. I cleared my throat, trying to keep my voice as natural and neutral as possible.
"That's right! you're our mother, which means I have every right to worry about you and your health!"
"Adrian Michael, my health is fine! If you keep pushing this, you won't be allowed to go to Jason's house this weekend and you'll be grounded for the rest of the month!"
"Go ahead! ground me for life for all I care! Homeschool me! Take away my TV! But I refuse to let this go!" I fired back, and she seemed stunned by my outburst.
Letting out a deep sigh, I crouched back down to her level and held both of her hands in mine. I could feel how rough and calloused they were as I held them. These hands have provided for our family and are her proof that she has clawed her way out of hell, and no one can tell me otherwise.
Looking up to meet her gaze, I tried to blink back my tears, but was ultimately failing as I felt a few slide down my cheeks.
"Please Mom, I'm worried about you. I may be 14, but I'm not stupid! Seeing you collapse like that when you got home… It scared me."
Her eyes were glossy as she glanced up to the ceiling, swallowing thickly. When she looked at me again, I continued.
"I went to school with a girl who had stopped eating right, and when she collapsed they had to take her to the hospital. The doctors told her that her blood sugar was so low that if they had not taken her to the hospital when they did– she would be in a coma right now. Or dead. "
Her mouth fell open slightly as I was telling her this and I could almost see the gears turning in her head. The amber eyes that Jade had inherited from her flashed with different emotions.
First, it was shock that made its way to her face– then that shock morphed into worry and regret– until finally, only the look of understanding remained on her eyes.
"God, I am so pathetic…" she sniveled, burying her face in her hands.
Climbing onto the couch next to her, I pulled her into my arms and silently cried with her as she continuously apologized to me.
"I don't want you to apologize mom– I just want you to be healthy and happy! I may not show it all the time but I still need you! You're my mom! You're Jade's mom! And we love you! "
"... I promise I'll try to be better– it may take some time, but I'll try. "
We sat there for about another minute in each others embrace before she pulled away, chuckling slightly as she cupped my cheek in the palm of her overworked hands.
"How'd you come to be so wise, huh? My little boy's all grown up."
I only shrugged with a playful smile on my face as I stood up, heading for the kitchen.
"what are you doing?" mom asked, following me to the kitchen.
"Making breakfast, how do pancakes sound? "
"ooh, that sounds delicious– especially if you're making them! You know that your pancakes are my favorite! " she rested her arms on the counter as she sat down on a stool and watched me cook.
"G'monin!~'' Jade yawned as she shuffled around the corner rubbing the sleepiness out of her eyes. She was holding her favorite teddy bear and blanket in her arms.
"Good morning beautiful girl!" Mom was the first to greet her as she picked Jade up to sit her on her lap.
"morning munchkin! " I greeted with a smile, and laughed when she pouted.
"I'm not a munchkin! " her cute chubby cheeks puffed out more as she tried crossing her arms over her tiny chest.
"your right I'm sorry, here, " I placed a small plate of pancakes in front of her, "I made these ones specially for you! "
"MICKEY MOUSE!!?" She gasped loudly, dropping her stuffy and blanket on the floor and it made both Mom and I laugh.
"Here you go, Mom. " I placed her plate in front of her, along with some blackberry syrup, and was ultimately satisfied as I saw her eat something.
"yay! Mommy's eating with us!!" Jade cheered, surprising both of us. Mom and I just kind of looked at each other for a moment and then smiled.
It's crazy how much kids actually pay attention.
...…
One year later
It's been a little over a year since that night I confronted Mom about her eating habits. I had made her stay home from work later that day, just so I knew she would get proper rest.
She's been doing a lot better!– her skin is fuller and she looks happier than ever. She stopped working so many hours and even quit all of her night shifts, switching to a more home-based job.
I even got a job delivering newspapers in the morning, it doesn't pay much– but it's less that mom has to worry about. She wasn't happy at first when I told her about it, but when she saw how excited I was to tell her about it she caved.
Right now I'm helping mom cook dinner while Jade is sitting at the dining table, busy coloring in her Care Bears coloring book I got her for her birthday. We're making honey garlic chicken tenders– mom's specialty.
"Oh shoot! We don't have any flour or honey! " Mom groaned, taking off her apron.
"I can run to the store if you want, it's right down the street. " I offered, following her to the living room where I saw her grabbing her purse and coat off the couch.
"nah, I got it! Stay here and watch over your sister, I'll be back soon! " she walked over to give Jade a kiss on the cheek complimenting the picture she was coloring in the process.
"Are you sure you don't want me to go? It's pretty late, which means that it's dangerous–" I asked again just to be sure, because the area we live in isn't the greatest.
Just last week a guy down the street was robbed at gunpoint.
"Why, because I'm a woman?" she asked with a playful attitude, raising her brow. When I didn't answer her she let out a soft sigh.
"my beautiful boy, always the worrier… I'll be back in a few minutes I promise. You won't even realize I'm gone! "
"Please be careful mom. "
"I will. I love you! " She kissed my cheek, walking out the door.
"Love you too! "
She stopped and turned around, giving me a pointed look, "Who? "
I looked at her confused, "who what?"
"Who loves me? " she asked with her hands on her hips and I shook my head laughing a bit at her childishness.
"I love you, mom! "
much better! I'll be back soon sweetheart, I love you both!" she hollered with a wide grin as she closed the door behind her.
....
I didn't realize what she called me until an hour later when she still wasn't home. If I had, I would have stopped her from leaving and gone to the store myself.
Then maybe I wouldn't have two police officers standing outside my door with solemn looks on their faces as they looked at me and at Jade who had fallen asleep in my arms.
"Are you Adrian Wolf? " the taller of the two officers asked gently as he shifted on his feet awkwardly.
"Yes?... Did I do something wrong, officer?... " I know I didn't, but the way these guys just showed up has me confused.
"No son you're not in trouble… " the second officer chimed in, looking down at Jade for a second, "do you mind if we come in and talk? "
"We think it would be better for you to sit down for this… " the taller one added as they both took off their hats.
I was reluctant to let them in at first, but I let them in anyway because we have super nosey neighbors and I'm sure that they've noticed the police car sitting in front of our house.
"if your looking for my mom, she went to the store about an hour ago–" I stopped talking when I saw the looks on their faces.
"That's why we're here son… please take a seat… " the shorter officer swallowed thickly as he gestured for me to sit down. My heart dropped at his words and I wasn't prepared to hear what I knew I was going to hear.
"Can I take my sister to bed first?..." I asked, trying to keep myself together, but the crack in my voice betrayed me.
"Of course… "
The officers took a seat on the couch while I took Jade upstairs and when I set her down she woke up a little bit.
"Is mommy back yet? " I could feel my eyes start to burn at the innocence of her question, but I couldn't tell her. So I just smiled and shook my head, leaving a small kiss in her forehead.
"No, not yet munch… I'm sure she'll be home soon. Go back to sleep. "
"Okay… "
Closing the door to her room, I let a few tears slip from my eyes and after taking a few deep breaths to control my breathing, I headed back downstairs.
I could hear the officers mumbling to themselves as I walked toward the living room, and they stopped and stood up once I entered the space.
"My mom's dead isn't she?... " I asked, not wanting to beat around the bush. When they both nodded I felt my world crumble beneath my feet and all the air left my lungs.
"I'm so sorry.. "
"How did it happen? " I asked, gritting my teeth to the point my jaw popped.
"There was a drive-by outside the local grocery store and I'm afraid that your mother was caught in the crossfire… "
My ears started ringing and the world seemed to grow more fuzzy as my breathing became erratic. I fell to my knees clutching onto my chest as tears pure from my eyes. I tried to be as quiet as possible because I don't want to wake up Jade. Both of the officers crouched down and sat with me while I broke down.
My mom is dead… and its all my fault…
If only I had stopped her from going to the damn store! She promised me she would come home soon! She promised she would be safe!
SHE PROMISED!!
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Wow... How many of you are crying? Be honest.
It's okay😭😭😭 I am too...