Two years. Well technically it's been ten years but it had been two years since I had been back in the United States. Two years since I had spoken to or seen Sam or Martin. Two years since I had seen my Rocco, who had promised to wait for me again.
I was coming back from deployment. I worked in special operations in the army. My division had quickly risen to the top and we were given the most classified cases. Due to that, we weren't allowed to have any contact with our loved ones during employment. For our safety and theirs.
All this had led to the past two years. The last I had spoken to my Rocco; I would be gone a year at most. That was until we lost one of our own, my best friend Jason Gray, in an operation gone bad. All of us had promised to find out who did it so it would never happen again. I had sent Rocco a small video message, knowing if I actually told him over the phone that I would be staying longer, his voice would break me and I'd be on the next plane back home.
I was glad that I am finally out the war; it was disastrous watching building after building blowing up. I was burnt out from watching people I get close to get killed by side bombs or getting shot. It was hard standing by and seeing kids cry over their parent's dead body or worse, seeing them blow themselves up. The saddest thing I have ever seen was a newborn baby lying in the middle of the road still alive. When I saw the baby I hurried to get the baby out of the active street, little did I know that the baby was just bait. A child who couldn't be more than ten aimed a rifle at me as soon as I picked the baby up, but before I could kiss my life goodbye, a comrade shot the kid dead to save me.
There was nothing I could say or do about it, the baby even died a few hours later from smoke inhalation and I just had to move on. It plagued my dreams for a while until I became numb to it being almost a weekly occurrence.
I shut my eyes as we began to descend to the ground. I gripped the sides of my seats. I hated planes with a passion, but this was the only way to get back home.
"Dude, relax," my friend and comrade Leo clapped me on the shoulder. "What does Rocco always call you? Stupido? Stop thinking so much."
I smirked and opened my eyes as I hit him lightly. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever man," but I smiled at the thought I was so close to seeing my Rocco again. It would be nice to finally hold him again after so long.
"I still don't understand why you didn't call him," Frank said from my other side.
"Like I said, if I heard his voice, I would break and desert the team. The next time I talk to him, I want to be holding him and kissing him and talking nothing about war. Plus, it would be a nice surprise," I finished.
"Sure, and then after the kissing, I'm sure there will be some other stuff too," Leo wiggled his eyebrows.
This time, Frank hit him for me. "We need to get you a girlfriend."
"No girl will wait for me like Rocco or your mail order bride, Frankie," Leo teased alluding to Franks sudden marriage to his Thai girlfriend.
"Speaking of girlfriends, is Lily meeting you at the airport?" I asked.
Frank blushed. Lily and he had only been married a few months when he left for our mission. It was hard enough on a relationship to leave when you weren't married, but Lily insisted on waiting for him to come back. Seeing her complete devotion to him, Frank promptly married her much to everyone's surprise since no one thought they were serious. There was much speculation about his hasty decision and he was told all sorts of horror stories from guys who did the same thing, but to everyone's surprise, they stood the test of time.
"Yes," he muttered softly now his ears turning red.
"Awe, my two best friends are both getting some tonight and I have no one," Leo pouted. "No girl wants to wait for me."
I rolled my eyes. "Come on. We all know you are going to go to a bar tonight in uniform and over exaggerate our achievements, and act like a tortured soul to make it seem like you are a hero but so deep and take a girl home."
"So what? Contrary to popular belief, I want that forever shit too," Leo replied.
"Stop lying then," I pointed out to him. "You'll never find forever shit by bringing such a sleezebag."
Leo rolled his eyes. "I guess you would know seeing your transformation." Leo used to be one of Martins close friends in high school and we reconnected when we were assigned to the same military base after graduation. His parents had forced him to enlist or be cut off, but he ended up sticking with it because he enjoyed serving the country. "I can't help being a natural Cassanova."
"Keep telling yourself that."
The speakers overhead buzzed. "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. We have now arrived at JFK airport in New York City. We hope you enjoyed your flight and you fly B Airlines again."
I let out a sigh of relief. "Seriously, you need to get over your fear of airplanes," Leo muttered.
"They are terrifying!" I defended. I don't know how Giacomo does this three times a year.
Frank rolled his eyes at our bantering as he stood up to grab our bags from overhead. "Well, it's all over now."
People started to deplane, and I stood up behind him. "And now we're home." I sighed.
We hurried off and nodded at the many who thanked us for our service. All I wanted to do was go home and see my Rocco. I could practically picture his stormy green eyes and red hair.
We reached baggage claim and Frank's eyes lit up when he saw who I could only assume to be Lily. Leo and I laughed as he ran up to her and picked her up and spun her in a circle.
My heart ached a little after seeing that. Maybe I should've called Rocco. But I know him better than that, he would want something more private because that's when we have our best moments.
"And you must be Lily, I'm Vincenzo," I stuck my hand out and she shook my hand.
"And I'm Leo," he followed suit.
"It's nice to meet you. Thank you for keeping him safe over there," she said with his arm slung around her shoulders.
I smiled. "I'm pretty sure it's the other way around. I would love to get you to know you, Rocco and I would love to have you over some time."
"Your wife? Is she here?" she asked.
I shook my head. "No my boyfriend. I thought privacy would be better. Speaking of, I'll need to get going."
Leo clapped my shoulder. "Call me when you get a chance. After, you know," he wiggled his eyebrows and the three of us also blushed. He threw his arms up in defeat. "They're practically married, what do you expect?"
"I will," I responded once I gained my composure. "Then we'll have to make a time to go see Martin and Sofia, they just had their third kid," I gulped. Jason's was Martin's cousin. We hadn't gotten a chance to come home for the funeral, but I know he and his grandmother would like to see us.
Leo nodded. "Will do. Now go home to your blushing man wife!" He pushed me forward and I laughed as I rushed out to my waiting Uber.
The car ride back was quiet, but pleasant. The city was actually experiencing a sunny spring day which was rare. I took in all of my surroundings. It took us an hour to get to my house. Right before I was deployed again, Rocco and I had bought our first home in a suburb right outside the city, with a bit of help from a "gift" from Sam. I hadn't gotten to spend much time in it, but wherever Rocco was felt like home to me.
We pulled up into my neighborhood and my heart leapt when I saw my house. It did so even more when I saw my mother-in-law's car parked in our driveway. She must be visiting Rocco. Maybe I would get a reunion with my Rocco and his mom. That did mean it needed to be more PG though...
I grabbed my bag and practically ran to my doorstep and I took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. There was a pregnant pause before I heard footsteps.
"Coming," I heard Rocco yell. My god, his voice. I stepped back as the door swung open. "Who-" his hands flung to his mouth when he saw who was standing before him and he immediately started to let tears spill down his cheeks. "Vinny," he trailed off as I swooped him into my arms walking into the house. I shut the door with my leg and gave him a passionate kiss.
This was one of the best moments of my life, next to moving into this house with him. I didn't realize I missed him so much, and to have him in my arms again felt like a miracle. It was moments later that he pulled away to look me in the eyes.
"Rocco," I practically moaned. But then he did something that surprised me. He raised his right hand and slapped me across the face. I let out a small gasp, not from pain, but surprise.
"Oh my god, Vinny, I'm sorry, I didn't mean," he began but I just took her palm and kissed it.
"It's okay," I laughed while tears starting to form in my eyes. I think he got stronger while I was gone. "I've been gone a while, more than I promised. You can be mad."
Tears continued to stream down his face. "Vinny, it's not that. It is, but," he stopped when his mom came to the door.
"Vincenzo," Ariana, my mother-in-law, sobbed out.
I stepped away from Rocco to engulf his mother in a huge hug. "Hey mama," I managed to choke out.
She stepped back and hit me lightly. "You've been gone for two years and the best I get is a "hey mama"? Why don't you call more!"
I threw my hands up in defense. "Why do I keep getting hit? I just wanted to surprise you, Mama! mi sei mancato!"
My mom's smile dropped. "We just missed you, honey," she glanced over at Rocco. "Some more than others. You should have seen him after you left again."
"Love," I let it drop off my tongue as I turned to Rocco again.
Hee shook his head and kissed me again. "It doesn't matter anymore, you're back. I just wish you would have told us; I would have cleaned up."
"I just need you," I said kissing him again. Gosh, I would never get tired of kissing him. Yet, there was something in the air as well. Rocco shot an almost pleading look at his mom. "Is everything alright?" I asked scrunching my eyebrows.
"I'll stay with him, go," mom nodded.
Rocco pulled away from me much to my dissatisfaction. "I'll be right back, Stupido," my heart melted when he used my nickname. He rushed off upstairs and I stood still with my eyebrows scrunched.
"Where's he going?" I asked. I had only been back for five minutes and he needed space? Did I smell bad or something? I did shower before I came back I guess it was more than 24 hours ago.
Mom grabbed my arm. "Vincenzo, come sit down." She led me to the couch.
"Mama," I gulped. A million thoughts were rushing through my head. A lot could change in two years, could Rocco have gotten sick? What if he was going to all his appointments without me or withering in pain alone? Did I worry him? Is it my fault? "Everything's okay, right? Rocco is-"
"Just a minute. Just remember to breathe Vinny," mom let out a smile. But I couldn't breathe! What the fuck was so important that I couldn't ravage Rocco after two long years?
Is it a new man?
Just then, Rocco began to descend down the stairs and the world as I knew it dropped out underneath me. I should have noticed it before. The fireplaces sharp edges were covered up. There was a bright colored box in the corner.
Rocco walked down the stairs slowly with a brunette baby. Well, not quite a baby anymore. The child rested against Rocco's chest as he held her against his hip. Now it was my turn to cover my mouth tears openly flowing.
"Rocco," there were no words.
He sat down next to me and the child turned towards me. She had big sparkly brown eyes. "Vinny, this is our daughter," Rocco said slowly. I'm pretty sure all the air had been pushed out of my lungs.
"What, how? Rocco," I still couldn't talk as the little girl continued to stare up at me from my his lap with her curious eyes. "I've been gone for two years so I didn't get you pregnant. Even though-"
"You must be jet lagged, idiot! I can't get pregnant!"
"Then you-"
"I didn't get a girl pregnant either!" Rocco snapped. "Shortly after you left, we did a home birth. The mom died during childbirth and the father is a deadbeat, so I adopted her."
I have a kid....and I'm missing its life, never mind the logistics of everything else, I'll figure it out.
"My god, Rocco," I couldn't take my eyes off of that little girl. "You must hate me for missing so much."
He let out a laugh between his tears. "I'm so glad you're taking this well! I don't hate you; I love you. Angelina is living proof of that."
"Angelina?" I gulped and cautiously brought my hand out to the little girl. My daughter.
She quickly snatched my finger and I instantly fell in love again. The little girl seemed to approach me cautiously as well. She turned back to Rocco as if asking for permission. Rocco kissed our daughter's head and she took that as an okay. She crawled from Rocco's lap into mine as I held my breath.
"Hey, Angelina, I'm your dad," I smiled.
She cocked her head, but then something changed. Her small face scrunched up and she began to cry. Her face grew red and I quickly dropped my arm. They say that babies can sense evil....so was she feeling the sins of my past? Did she think I was going to be like my father? Did she think I was going to be horrible to her?
"Papa," she called out and turned back to Rocco. My wife swooped her up and began to coo at her.
"Shh, sweetie. That's your daddy," he mumbled against our daughter's hair.
"Did I do something wrong?" I asked shaking. What if this means I can't be in her life? Can I even handle baby? What if that makes Rocco leave me?
"Oh, honey," I forgot mom was still here as she muttered behind us. "No, Angelina is just sometimes scared of strangers," she said.
The room held silent as I took a sharp intake of breath. Even Angelina muddled her cries sensing Rocco's tenseness. Because that was what I was to her, a stranger. This little girl was mine, but all I had done at this point was show up after she was born and expected her to accept me. She didn't know me at all.
I'd already fucked up.
I stood up and Rocco tried to recover. "Vinny, that's not what she meant."
I shook my head. "No, she's absolutely right. She doesn't know me, I'm a stranger to her." I started to shake violently thinking about what I should do to come back from this? Fuck! How do you even raise a child without fucking it up? I didn't know!
I was going to fail.
"Honey," Rocco stood up with Angelina on his hip and reached out to touch my cheek. I jerked back.
"I just being irrational right now," I gulped and ran towards the door. "I just need some air," I said before running out into the road with Rocco calling behind me.
My heart and mind were racing. Only a few hours ago I was coming home to see Rocco, little did I know it was to see Rocco and a kid. Kid. My daughter. I had a daughter that I didn't even know about for two years.
I stopped running when I realized how far I had gone. I made it into a forest near our house by a small pond that Rocco and I indulged in naughty behavior. Rocco and I had discovered it on an exploring adventure we'd had when we first moved in together. It had quickly become my favorite spot as we had many sexy dates here. I sighed and sat down putting my head in my hands and began to sob.
My Rocco. My amazing, intelligent, beautiful, strong Rocco. He had been raising a baby all alone. I left him all alone when he told me that he was feeling lonely out of a sense of duty. I could imagine him going through the process of adopting a newborn by himself. Days where he couldn't sleep or pamper himself like he liked to because the baby needed his attention. Him doing everything he can to take care of her while he was still working.
And the birth. That was something I didn't want to imagine. He had watched, all alone. Boyfriends were supposed to be there with their partners during hard times and I hadn't. I missed the birth of our first child, and that was something I could never get back.
Angelina. God. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I know her eyes weren't mine, but they looked like mine. I would have changed every diaper, shushed every cry, kissed all the pain away and tried loving the baby the way I never received. Yet, Rocco had done that all on his own and my daughter only knew me as a stranger.
I'm scared of becoming like my dad, but at the same time I feel hopeless about it. He was just an abusive narcissist that broke the family apart. How can I even be a dad when I never experienced having a good one.
I've hate that I feel like I'm becoming like my father. I've always hated him even on the days he was acting nice because right after I'd think my dad isn't such a bad guy after all, just troubled. That belief was always instantly revoked. For years, since I was about 4 or 5 years old, I wished so badly that my parents would just get a divorce, and at times, I've planned on seriously killing him: I'd know exactly what I would do to get him blindingly angry, what weapon I would use, what my mom and I would do after I murdered him, and how we'd say I killed in by "self-defense" as an easy exit. Othertimes, I'd just kill him in his sleep, hoping he'd stay quiet. Obviously, I never went through with any of these plans, but these fantasies gave me comfort and satisfaction, and even writing this out is giving me these same vibes.
Throughout my life, I've had anger issues, and I know I have anger issues. My dad has anger issues due to a condition (or something) that affects his temper. Anyways, I'm not sure if my anger issues are hereditary or brought on from my environment. However, I do understand that I have them; I just don't like it when my anger issues are brought up by other people as if I'm an idiot and have no idea that I'm an angry person. It just makes me wish I could just strangle the other person or physically overpower them because it's the only way I know how to convince anyone that I'm being serious. For instance, I thought my ex-army friend was a completely stupid piece of shit and after we stopped being friends, I frequently fantasied about slitting her throat while I'd be praised for it with no reparations.
And this is the problem.
Besides learning that I bottled up my true emotions a lot, this is the exact behavior my father has: Whenever I did something he didn't like, he yelled at me and beat me. When I didn't know how to do a simple task, he yelled at me and asked if I were stupid. Even when I stood up to him for my mom's sake, he beat at me and threatened to send me to school with two black eyes, saying that he wouldn't care if my friends, family, or teachers found out, take me or my little brother away from where we live against my will, or just flat out kill me. He thought that he could solve all of his problems by controlling the lives of others.
I'm convinenced that my bad temper is going to ruin my social life, ruin my personal life, and ruin everything else in the future, and I'll be left bitter and lonely. I'm scared of having children because I'm terrified that I'm going to be abusive towards them or have an outburst and the cycle will continue. I don't want to be this angry, childish person anymore, but I don't know what to fucking do anymore.
Sobs continued to wrack my body as the feeling of being a deadbeat sunk in, when I heard soft footsteps in the woods beside me. I lifted my head up slightly and saw the sun setting on the horizon. I had been out for longer than I'd realized.
"I thought you'd be here," Rocco's tone was gentle.
I rested my head on my knees curled up as he approached. "Where's," I gulped, "where's Angelina?"
Rocco placed his hands on the ground as he sat next to me. "Mama took her home with her. I'll go get her in the morning. She thought it would be good for us to have the time to talk."
Talk. Talk about what? How I was the worst human being ever? How I'm a stranger to my own child? How I'll eventually fuck her up for good? How I'm probably a stranger to Rocco now?
He sighed and leaned his head against my shoulder. I pulled away. "You don't need me. Do you still want me even though I wasn't there."
He rolled his eyes and proceeded to lift my arm up to snuggle into my chest even more. "Vincenzo, I know it's been two years, so you might need some reminding. I'm all yours, but you never get to tell me what to do. He sighed and said barely audible. "And I'll always want you even if I don't need you."
A smile lifted on my face. "Ok." he ran his fingers up and down the front of my shirt and it made me shiver. "I'm sorry." I finally let out.
He kissed my chest through my shirt. "For what?"
I carefully brought my hand up and ran my fingers through his hair. "For leaving. For leaving you alone for so long. It must've been hard and very lonely."
"Vinny," he sat up and turned around practically straddling me, but this was nothing sexual in nature. He took my head in her hands and stared at me. "You have nothing to apologize for."
I gulped. "I do. If I had known...." Not sure of how I wanted to finish that sentence. all I got was a raised eyebrow in response.
"You would have what? Stayed? Vinny, is what you did over there important? Did you help people? Save them?" Although I couldn't go into detail, Rocco was always smart and realized how important my position was after the first time I went over, before we were even living together, he knew. I nodded and he kissed my nose. "That's all we need. You didn't know it, but you were protecting Angelina and me from the threats over there."
I placed my hand over his, "How are you so amazing?"
"I've had all the time to be mad and that dissolved to just missing you."
"So you were mad," I quickly countered.
"Of course, I was Vinny. I was mad that you left even though I knew you needed to. When I was up with the baby, I resented you sometimes, but then I remembered how good and loyal you were and I couldn't stay mad at you," tears brimmed his eyes as well. "And god, when Angelina was born.....she had your eyes and smile and is too much like you even though she's not yours. All I wanted was for you to come home."
My lip quivered. "Maybe I shouldn't have. If I had," but he cut me off with a kiss.
"Vincenzo, we are not going through this again, okay?" he tightened her grip on me. He was referring to the first time I had come back. We were five years into our relationship, but I had pulled away, hard and gone to a very dark place. Rocco was the only thing that kept me sane, and even he I pushed away. It took us months to get back to where we were before I left. "Okay?" he pushed.
I nodded. "Okay."
"Good," she dropped her arms. "Angelina needs her father."
"But she doesn't. Rocco, you're so good with her," I said trailing my knuckles up and down her arms.
"She does. Every kid needs both their parents," Rocco reiterated. "I've been trying my hardest, but I'm only one person. She'll love you in time."
"Will? She hates me."
"She's a baby, Vinny."
"She's not quite a baby anymore," I replied.
"No, but these are the times she'll remember. She'll warm up to you, I know she will. You two are too much alike."
I smirked. "So, she's a trouble maker then?"
"And she's only one." I stared into my Rocco's eyes and he smiled again. "I really did miss you so much, Vinny. I'm sorry for dropping this on you right after you got back. I know it's not very fair to you."
"Let's just agree we haven't been being fair to each other, but let's make it up."
"And as much as I love this spot, it's getting kind of cold," I chuckled. "How about we go home? I'll make something for dinner, and you can take a shower and then we'll catch up."
I nipped his ear. "Or we can skip dinner and we can take a shower." I couldn't see his face but could tell it was red.
"Vinny," he sighed.
I threw my hands up in surrender. "Okay, I'll agree to some food."
He perked up. "Okay, let's go," and practically dragged me back to our home.
Rocco immediately went to making dinner and I hopped into the shower quickly. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was starving and really missed Italian food. Even if Rocco was just reheating leftovers his mom made.
I wrapped a towel around my waist and ventured into our bedroom. The décor was still simple, like when I left, but there had been some additions since I last left. My breath hitched when I saw the photo collage on the far wall. I walked over in a trance.
It was pictures of Rocco looking beautiful as usual, but with a baby. These photos were professionally done but I had no idea who convinced Rocco to do them. The two of them were in matching outfits. In the middle of the pictures was a small sonogram and "baby Angie" written on it.
"Sofia convinced me to get them. She said you would probably like it," Rocco said from our doorway.
I was still in a trance when he walked up behind me. "Rocco, you're beautiful. I know I tell you that a lot, but, wow."
He laughed lightly. "So, everyone I've ever met was right?"
I nodded. "Very."
I turned around to Rocco and he let out a small gasp. For a moment I forgot that I wasn't wearing a shirt exposing the damage I had taken while abroad.
"Vinny," his voice shook as he pressed his hands to my bare chest. "These weren't there before." he was talking about my scars. He knew all about my old ones from my dad, but these past two years brought in new ones. Worse than what my father could ever do.
"Things got bad," I always tried to open up to Rocco, but some things were left better unsaid. I don't very much feel like recounting how I had been in countless situations where the chances of surviving was low and how I had almost lost my life.
"Honey," Rocco tried to coax it out of me.
"Someday, just not today. Please," I begged.
He nodded but still began to kiss my scars. My eyes fluttered with each of his kisses. It was as if he was kissing all the pain away. stood up and something in her eyes grew darker. I hissed in response. Dinner was long forgotten.
Soon, I pushed Rocco against the wall as he yanked the towel away from me. Without further thought, I brushed the back of my hand against his flushed cheek ever so lightly. Barely. He did not shy away but only seemed to understand what was about to take place between us. I slowly leaned forward and gently brushed my lips to his. He seemed to melt into me as my mind and body raced with his intimate contact of which I had craved for so long. Slightly deepening the kiss, my tongue requested entrance to his hot mouth as an involuntary moan whispered from deep within my chest.
I swept my fingers under his shirt and started to pull it off when he placed his hands on my chest panting. "Wait," he said.
I dropped my arms. "Sorry, it's been so long. Did I do something wrong?"
"No, it's just." he shut his eyes tight. "I'll just take care of you then we can go eat."
"Rocco, the only thing I want to do is make love to you," I said making him blush. "Love, what's wrong?"
"It's stupid, really," he muttered.
"Rocco."
He gulped at my tone. "It's just, you haven't seen me in two years. I'm not the same. I'm not as pretty as I used to be. I've gained weight and I can't get rid of my stupid muffin top, and-" I cut him off with a kiss.
"Do you really think I care about that? Proof from you taking care of our family doesn't disgust me at all. Rocco, you had my daughter." I said and reached my fingers back under his shirt. "You helped deliver our daughter into this world. I think you're the sexiest man alive, nothing could stop me from believing that. You love me with my scars, I love you even if you change. Can I continue now? Can I show you how much I really missed you and loved you?"
"Yes," he responded softly.
"Good."
I held him to me as my lips found his again. And fuck if the entire world didn't explode around us as our mouths caress each other's. So good... but it isn't enough, won't ever be enough. So my tongue caressed his bottom lip, asking permission to slip inside his moist mouth. He moaned sweetly as his lips parted to grant me access. And then I'm home, drowning in one of the many places on my Rocco that I've always longed to be for two years. Drowning in the full extent of his all-encompassing heat, his intoxicating scent, which I feel I've only barely experienced before now.
Our kiss became more frantic as we tried to desperately drink each other in. Before I knew what has happened, before I have time to question if I'm moving too fast, I'm lying on top of his small body. My legs between his, my mouth attached to his, I began-dry humping him like a teenager. My mouth is mumbling between kisses, and fuck if I can shut myself up.
But again my stilled my frenzied movements, burying my head against his neck and grasping my hands beneath his arms and up around his shoulders. I held him to me, below me as I tried to catch my breath...
He passionately protested, thrusting his weeping, engorged cock against my stomach. "Vinny, fuck... no... don't want to... can't stop, love... please!"
"Shhhhh," I try to soothe him as I lifted him up to pepper his face with kisses. "It's okay, baby..." I look into his eyes, trying to make him understand. "I'm not stopping... just slowing down. I want to just take care of you."
He trembled, staring up at me, considering my words. Finally, he nodded before lifting his head to gently touch his lips and tongue to mine. We lay there for long moments, tasting every secret depth of each other's mouths; our hard members were caught motionless and throbbing between us, our release temporarily abated.
Once I feel we've finally regained control, I slowly travel down his body, gently caressing his skin. I set open mouth kisses along the way, concentrating first on his nipples, then on the oh-so-sexy trail of hair that leads me from his navel. Finally settling between his legs, I am amazed at his raw masculine beauty and heady male scent. Briefly, I look up to find his endearing gaze on me, lusting for me. He raised a hand to caress my face, to tuck stray strands of my unruly hair behind my ear.
"I should get you ready."
"I trust you, Vinny..." he answered, eyes urging me to continue, sharing with me his desires and fears. Carefully, I prepared him with one finger... then two....finally three as my other hand caressed back and forth between his stomach and swollen member. He writhed before me, calling my name, begging me to begin whatever it was I wanted to do. The enormity of this moment shakes me to the core. I'm about to make love to my Rocco after two years.....finally get my chance to share with him the depths of my feelings and desires again.
Anticipation runs between us in one last intense stare as I wait for his final consent. "Are you ready for me Rocco...? It will hurt at first, but I promise I will make you feel good." With lusty, heavy eyes and a slight nod of his head, he motioned for me to take him. I answered his silent plea by finally pushing into him, cursing at the effort to barely take inch by excruciating inch as he gasped painfully at my intrusion. Once my length was fully embraced within him, I still so that he could better adjust and gently wiped away the few stray tears that ran down his flushed cheek.
Before I had the chance to question if we should continue, he pulled me to him in a searing kiss while the bottom of his feet met the back of my thighs, strong legs forcing me even further inside.
We were now attached from mouth to groin, moving together, swallowing each other's moans that each thrust brought up from deep within. We were making sweet slow love as I'm now finally able to show him what I've wanted for so long. He was leaking between our stomachs, neglected by our hands as mine are gripping his shoulders form beneath. His hands were desperately grasping handfuls of my hair or clawing at my back, both of us pulling me further inside with each deliberate thrust of my hips.
All night, he fell apart before me...for me...by me, writhing and screaming my name, climax engulfing his senses. Seeing him come so undone – feeling his orgasm embrace me– sent me crashing over the edge of my own too-long-denied climax thus giving me the most intense orgasm I'd ever experienced.
The next morning, I woke up to Rocco naked in bed with me, something I had waited two years to see again. The air smelled of sex instead of sweat and misery and I loved it. Rocco slept soundly next to me, his silky red hair resting against the pillow. I smiled, just watching him sleep.
A few minutes later, he opened one of his eyes. "How long have you been creepily watching me sleep?"
I chuckled. "Only a few minutes. Are you doing okay?" I asked referring to our countless rounds of sex the night before. I don't think we'd done that much since I was due for deployment.
Rocco nodded but then winced and the usual guilt washed over me. He saw my expression change and kissed me reassuring me he was alright. "I'm just a little sore, that's all. I'll just go shower and get Angelina." he started to stand up and I quickly saw he was still in a little discomfort do I pushed him back down.
"How about you relax, and I'll go get Angelina?" I asked. "After all, she needs both her fathers."
"That," Rocco sighed and smiled. "That would actually be really nice. Just take my car, Angelina's car seat is in the back. Mama can show you how to strap her in," I gave him a quick kiss before showering. I ran out and put on some clothes before heading over to his mom's house.
I knocked on the door and Rocco's mom greeted me with a wide smile. "Vincenzo, what a surprise. I was expecting Rocco."
"I thought it would be nice for him to sleep in. It's my responsibility to help too," I said trying to hide the fact of our sex-laden night. I mean, we had a daughter now, so I hope it was enough to stop any follow up questions.
I heard a gasp behind my mother and saw Rocco's dad, Lorenzo. "Vincenzo?"
"Hey, papa," I smiled.
"Vincenzo! Everyone's missed you!" He pulled me into a strong embrace.
"I've missed you guys as well."
"Glad to have you back," he smiled at me.
"Glad to be back," I said but not really looking at him, just looking at my daughter who was sitting peacefully on Ariana's lap.
He laughed. "You got a big surprise when you got back, huh?"
I laughed. "That's a little bit of an understatement."
"Shh, Lorenzo, Nonna has you," she smiled as she calmed her down. I came over and cautiously approached my daughter, hoping to avoid the cries of yesterday. "Angelina, that's your daddy!" She said. "I know you haven't known him that long, but I have, he's a really good man who'll take care of you. He helped take care of my baby Rocco too, so I know he'll be so good with you. He'll love you, and play with you, he'll even do anything it takes to make you happy!"
At least they all had some faith in me to do this right. Angelina stared up expectantly at Rocco's mom before she practically threw her in my arms. Both Lorenzo and her held their breathes as I held my daughter. I'm sure mom relayed the day before to Lorenzo. I even held my breath, but I tried not to show it.
"Guys, relax." I said almost trying to convince myself. I was her father; I could do this. I wouldn't fuck this up. I'm healed mentally and I'm not going to like my father. I coughed. "Does she have anything I need to bring back? And, uh, Rocco said you could help me figure out her car seat."
Ariana laughed. "I have all her things in this bag," she said and helped me swing a huge duffel bag over my arm. Gosh, how had Rocco managed this all by herself? "And yes, I'll help you with the car seat. The first time Rocco tried this one, he practically threw it on the ground trying to figure it out before he asked for help." That was my Rocco, stubborn.
I followed mom out to the car and watched with ultimate focus what she was doing. She let out a laugh as I helped her finish buckling Angelina in. I shut the door softly before going up to the front. I started the car but didn't move making mom stop to knock on my window.
"Vincenzo, you'll be alright. You have Rocco and Angelina now, but just remember to take care of yourself too. Babies are overwhelming and Rocco will understand if you need a break," she said referring to the last time I came back from fighting.
I nodded and gulped. "How...how am I supposed to drive?" I asked and mom quirked an eyebrow. "My daughter is in the back, what if something happens? Or if someone does something that makes the road more dangerous? She could break if anything happens and Rocco would-"
"Every new parent has that fear. Don't speed and follow the traffic laws. Matter of fact, just relax and just drive like you normally would." I nodded and put the car in reverse, but I still don't think I had ever driven so carefully in my entire life.
I couldn't even have a regular road rage because I was afraid of waking Angelina up.
Angelina was indeed an angel, that was until we made it back to our neighborhood. I was probably five minutes from home when she let out a shrill cry. I glanced in the mirror to see that she was bright red and crying.
"Angelina, baby," I muttered and debated on pulling over to calm her down but decided against it. I pulled into our driveway and barely remembered to put the car in park before I went back to help my baby girl.
I tried to calm her down and pick her up, but I couldn't figure out the stupid car seat. I spent a few frantic minutes trying to get her out while her cries only grew louder. I jumped when Rocco placed a hand on my back, and I hit the ceiling of the car.
"Oh, sorry," he muttered as I crawled out. "Here, let me," he said as he, in one second, undid Angelina's car seat and pulled her into his arms. "Shh," he calmed Angelina as I followed him inside. "It's okay baby. Your daddy's just learning." We got inside and I was about to talk when Rocco continued to speak to the baby. "You don't remember it, but when you were born, I had no idea what I was doing, I still don't. Your other dad was off saving the world," I scoffed a little, "so, it'll take him some time to catch up. Just let him, like you let me." Rocco gave me a smile as Angelina calmed down.
"Rocco," I gulped. "Thank you."
He kissed my cheek. "Come on, I made some brunch. Let's eat together for the first time as a family."
Family. I finally had my own family and it seemingly happened overnight. This new life would take some getting used to, but I could feel that my happiness was never ending.
The only thing left to do.....was to make an honest man out Rocco.