Vincenzo and I were sitting on the floor against our couch. It didn't get much use these days with me chasing Angelina around. We had closed off the two exits to the living room and Angelina was running around playing. In the few days since he'd been back, Vincenzo had just loved to watch her play and it gave me a much needed break.
Angelina was currently hobbling around bringing us, well mostly me, back various toys. She ran over and gave me one of her stuffed animals, a little koala bear.
"Papa," she gurgled as she set it in my lap.
"Thank you," I mused back as she giggled and ran off to get another. I set it down and added to my ever-growing pile.
We were sitting on the ground for the last half-hour, but we were content. Vincenzo's eyes just followed Angelina back and forth each time she ran, and he smiled every time she giggled. I know he was sad to miss out on the first 15 months, but he was going to be there now and that was all that mattered to me now.
Angelina ran back over and grabbed her favorite stuffed animal, a pink and purple dolphin. She ran back over but paused in front of Vincenzo and me. She cocked her head to the side, and instead of handing it to me, she slowly made her way to Vincenzo. He excitedly held his breath as she pressed the stuffed animal into his hand.
"Thank you," Vinny practically shook as he said them. He then turned to me with the most adorable look of overwhelming pride. "She gave me a toy."
"That's not all she can do. Angelina," I smiled and leaned against Vincenzo. She perked up. "Sweetie, can you show daddy where your arm is?" I asked. It was a game we played, to try to get her to learn the different body parts. I also tried to emphasize daddy. 'Papa' had been her first word and her most often at that next to 'no' and 'si'. I knew it would make him feel amazing if she called him daddy soon, but it may take time.
Angelina smiled as she put her hand on her arm. Vincenzo's face lit up. I smiled. "What about your ear?" Angelina almost knocked herself over trying to touch her ear. "And your nose?" this was her favorite. She giggled as she touched her nose. I leaned over. "Where's my nose?" she pressed her finger to me. "And what about daddy's nose?"
I paused as I waited for her. It took longer than me, but Angelina started to move. Vincenzo was far taller than me, so she crawled up into his lap before standing up. She reached out her tiny finger and placed it on Vincenzo's nose. Tears sprung to his eyes. She would actually interact with him without crying now, that was only if I was around.
"That's right baby girl," Vincenzo smiled. "You're so smart just like your papa," he pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she smiled before running off again.
"See," I nudged my husband. "She likes you." Vincenzo was about to protest when I stopped him, "Don't even argue. That dolphin is her favorite."
"It is?" he asked.
"Yep," I smiled as I went in for a kiss, but then Vincenzo's phone vibrated. I narrowed my eyes. "Who is it?"
Percy took out his phone. "It's Leo, he's trying to video message," he said. He glanced over at Angelina who instead of running back to us had decided to play with some big building blocks. He slid the phone's screen and made sure both of us were in view.
""Vinny! Oh, and how's Miss Rocco over there,"" Leo smirked.
"Glad to see you again too, Leo," I rolled my eyes.
""Vinny over here hasn't called me since we got back, I figured that meant you two were still getting busy,"" he wiggled his eyebrows and I rolled my eyes more.
"Leo," I scolded.
Vincenzo laughed and readjusted the screen. "Leo, stop harassing my honey."
He threw his hands up in defense. ""Sorry dude, but like I said, you've been ignoring me.""
"We've been busy, but not with that," Vincenzo said. He glanced over at me as I bit my lip.
All of our family and friends knew about Angelina already, at least the ones who weren't fighting with Vincenzo in the war knew. Leo must have not spoken to anyone else yet either since Martin knew as well. I nodded at him and held my arms open. Angelina glanced up and quickly ran over to hop in my lap.
""Vinny, shit,"" Leo muttered as she came into view.
"Language, Leo," I muttered but couldn't help but smile.
"Leo, meet my daughter, Angelina," Vincenzo grinned proudly.
""Vinny, dude,"" his eyes were wide. Angelina was staring into the camera back at Leo. She wasn't immune to the idea of technology, Sofia lived far away so we video messaged them often so they could see Angelina. ""You didn't say Rocco was pregnant if we would have known....."" Leo let the thought trail off.
"Well, he didn't know either," I said.
""Wait, what?"" Leo's eyes narrowed.
Aria wiggled and I readjusted her. "I adopted her after her mom died a week after you guys left, and there wasn't really any way to contact you all."
Vincenzo glanced at us with wide eyes. "So, I got the best surprise when I got back."
""Dude, I would say so. We've been talking about what it would be like to have kids and a family, but god, you two actually went ahead and did it,"" Leo said then laughed. I glanced down at Angelina in my lap and her eyes were starting to droop. ""And it looks like she might be tired.""
I leaned over and kissed Vincenzo's cheek. "I'll go put her down for her nap. I'll be back in a minute." Vincenzo nodded as I picked up Angelina who was already falling asleep on my chest.
Gosh, did I love this sweet little girl. She didn't even know how precious she was. She helped get me through when Vincenzo was gone and now, she's helping with him being back.
I carefully set her down in her crib trying not to shake her up too much and wake her. Although that never really seemed to be a problem. She was a heavy sleeper like Vincenzo. She sometimes even drooled like him. I turned on the baby monitor and slowly backed out of the room.
I must have walked down the stairs very quietly too because Vincenzo made no sign he heard me coming. I was about to announce my presence when I realized he was still on the phone with Leo. I wasn't normally one to eavesdrop, but what Leo was saying caught my attention.
""Vinny, dude seriously, don't say that,"" he said through the phone.
"Leo, it's true," Vincenzo said. "Angelina treats me like a stranger, at least now it's more like a comfortable stranger. And Rocco, he's absolutely amazing, but he doesn't need me here. He knows how to do this on his own. He would be better on his own if I'm anything like my father."
I wanted to jump out and pounce on him. We'd had this discussion before. I wanted him. I loved him and Angelina loved him too. I had barely held myself together the first few months Angelina was born, but I had to adjust my life for her.
""Don't go down this road again, Vinny. I thought you already got over your self pity. Everything is just new to them so you need to give it time. Rocco and your daughter are adjusting to you being home. Dude, just focus on the fact you have a freaking daughter now, man, you're a father. Can you believe that?"" Leo asked.
I could practically see Percy smile. "I can't. After all this time of Rocco and I being together, and....." he trailed off. Neither of them had to say it. I shut my eyes to force out those memories.
""Now you're here,"" Leo tried to pull him back.
"I am."
""Are you doing okay?""
"Yes. No, not really. I've had an appointment with my therapist, but I keep pushing it back. I just want to spend some time with Angelina."
""Makes sense, but Dr. Mancini won't like you pushing it back. Plus, your daughter needs to have her dad healthy. You haven't had any triggers or thoughts, have you?""
Vincenzo inhaled sharply. Shit. His wait time on his response was a response in itself. I thought he had been doing okay, doing better. I was a terrible partner not realizing it.
"I'm controlling it, the best that I can. Angelina and Rocco really keep me grounded, gives me something to work for," he commented. "And they both give me a reason to want to go home."
""Just keep yourself good Vin. You go through the worst of it,"" Leo sighed.
Suddenly, a female voice called out from Leo's side. ""Leo!""she called.
""Uh, got to go, Percy. Give Rocco and your daughter love from me,"" Leo said quickly before he hung up. I heard Vincenzo let out a big sigh and I decided to make my presence known.
"Hey," I let out a small smile as I sat down next to him again. "Angelina's asleep, she sleeps like a rock. You two have that in common."
He didn't look up at me. "How much of that did you hear?" he questioned, and I gulped. One of our rules, we never keep secrets from each other.
"Enough," I said. He just let out another sigh. "How come you didn't tell me that you weren't doing okay?"
His hands clenched into fists. "I'm handling it."
I worked my fingers in between his and unclenched his hand. "Remember, we handle it as a family now. You don't have to do this on your own, okay?" he didn't respond, and I sighed. I swung my leg over him, so we were chest to chest. I lifted his chin, so he was forced to look me in the eyes. "Okay?"
He nodded and let out a weak, "Okay."
"Honey, what's bothering you?" I asked.
He sighed as he began to run his knuckles up and down my arms. "It's not like it used to be, at least not right now. More of the what ifs."
"Those are just as annoying," I muttered. My voice grew soft. "What what ifs are you thinking of?"
His eyes darkened, and not in a good way. "The worst ones."
"Tell me," if possible, I was even quieter.
"If I didn't make it back, if something would have happened, if you," he sighed. I knew where he was going with this one and it was the worst. "If you never found out...."
"Well, I did. There's no need to worry about that now." I replied.
"And Angelina, god," he began to choke up. "If I....then we couldn't have a family. Sometimes the thought of what I put you through is too much to bear."
I leaned forward and captured his bottom lip with my mouth. Vincenzo gasped but didn't otherwise protest. I began to suck on his lip, and he moaned, shutting his eyes.
"Don't even begin to think about that," I muttered as I worked my way down to his neck.
"Rocco," he moaned.
I licked his neck before I spoke again. "If I'm going to have to keep distracting you, I will."
"I like this distraction," he laughed grabbing my arms to keep supported.
I sat up and dragged my fingers through his hair. "I love you so much Vinny, but Leo's right, I think you should go see Dr. Mancini."
He sighed. "I'll make an appointment now, just for you." He kissed my fingertips and stood up to go make the call.
I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that he was still easy persuade. I don't know how bad it was for Vincenzo now. The first time he came back, he did such a good job of hiding it all. No one knew what he was going through. Not Leo or Frank. Not Martin or Sam or Sofia. Not my parents. Not even me and I thought I could read him so easily.
Vincenzo came back into the room. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.
"What makes you think I was thinking?" I smirked.
He let out a low chuckle. "Love, I know you better than anyone else. The look you had is when you are contemplating important things. Penny for your thoughts?"
Sometimes it was better if he didn't know. Still, how many times did he think the same thing about me? "Just about Martin and Sofia. I haven't talked to them since you've gotten back," I said. It wasn't a total lie. It the midst of thinking of last time, I had been thinking of them. And in the past few days, I had been thinking of them, but Vincenzo and I had been cooped up in the house with Angelina.
"Do you think they'd like for us to see them? I don't know with my leaving effecting you, if they'd even want to."
"Of course, they want to see you," I let out a small smile knowing exactly what he was afraid of. "As long as I'm happy."
"How's Sofia doing?" Vincenzo questioned. "You know....after Jason."
"She has good days and bad days. Martin too. Angelina was pretty young when it all happened, but I tried to help her through it," I said. Tears welled up in my eyes. "Did you know I thought it was you?"
Vincenzo's eyes widened and he sat down next to me on the couch taking my hands. "You what?"
I nodded slowly. "Angelina was barely old enough to go out of the house, probably seven weeks old at the time, so Martin and Sofia came to visit me. My heart dropped when the soldiers came to the door."
"Rocco," his voice dropped. I thought back to that day.
I remember I spent that day smiling even though I was insecure in the decision I made without Vincenzo. Having Martin and my sister over to adore the baby just strengthened my resolve.
"Rocco, I know I keep saying this, but she's absolutely precious," Martin squealed rocking Angelina back and forth.
Sofia smirked next to Martin. "Don't start getting any ideas. You don't want another one now, don't you?"
Martin blushed. "We are married after all, Sofia. But after, yes I would like one more."
Sofia scrunched her eyebrows. "She seems like a lot of work."
I laughed. "She is, but she's absolutely worth it," I chimed in.
"I can't believe you and Vincenzo actually have a baby, a daughter," Sofia chimed in slowly bringing her finger to the small baby in Martin's arms.
"Trust me, she's real. Like really real, like I pushed her out of me and everything," I said.
"Okay, I didn't need that image," Martin squirmed.
"Oh?" I smirked. "Would you rather imagine her being conceived?"
"Gross, now I might barf," Martin gagged.
I smiled. I missed having my good friend and my sister around. The last few weeks had been tough all by myself with Angelina but it kept my mind off the loneliness. Vincenzo would still be gone for a few more months, and he didn't even know about her. He was in for a real big surprise when he came back and hopefully he won't leave me.
"But how are you doing? It can't be easy doing this all by yourself," Sofia softened.
I mustered up the smile I had been doing too many times these past few weeks. "Okay, mama's been over a lot to help when she can."
"You don't need to lie to us Rocco. We know what it's like to miss him, but not at all in your situation," Sofia placed her hand on my arm and that's all it took to bring me to tears.
"I just miss him so much that I adopted a baby that kind of looks like him," I cried as Sofia pulled me into her arms. "And this is so hard, no one is supposed to raise a baby on their own. I barely sleep anymore. And now I'm worried about Vincenzo and Angelina all of the time. I feel like I'm failing her."
"Failing her?"
"Vincenzo would be so much better with her than I am. He's wanted a family for so long, I barely gave that a second thought until I saw Angelina. He would definitely care for her way better than I am," I mumbled.
"Excuse my language around the baby, but Rocco, you're kind of a badass and the strongest people I know," Martin let out and I let out a sad laugh. "Yes, Vincenzo's going to be a great dad, but you're a great dad too. He's not here with you, but he's going to stumble just as much, or probably more knowing him and his clumsiness, than you."
Angelina began to squirm in Martin's arms and I immediately scooped her up to calm her. Sofia let out a bright smile. "See you're great with her. She loves her papa."
I was about to open my mouth when the doorbell rang.
"Were you expecting anyone?" Martin asked. I shook my head as I held Angelina.
"I'll go get it, it's probably someone just selling something." Sofia left the room but took entirely too long coming back.
"Sofia, who is it?" Martin called.
She didn't reply but came back with two solemn looking soldiers with her. I vaguely remembered meeting them both at one time at one of Vincenzo's military parties. They weren't part of Vincenzo's unit but helped serve on intelligence back here in America.
My heart raced.
"Mr. Lombardi," one addressed me.
Sofia's eyes went wide, and she quickly swiped Angelina out of my arms and placed her in a nearby crib as she saw me ready to break down.
"God, no, please don't tell me." I let out a sob. The day I was dreading and praying not to happens couldn't be avoided. I'm going to be alone with a baby! "Vincenzo."
The soldier gulped. "We came to tell you he's hurt badly, but he should recover."
My heart stopped racing. He was hurt but would be okay. Fuck, I just felt my stomach fall into my ass!Why did they still have such solemn looks on their faces?
"Mr. Doolittle, we went to your house earlier today, but you weren't there," the soldier addressed Martin.
Sofia grabbed my hand and Martin grabbed my other. Shit. "Is Jason hurt too?" he asked.
Martin was already shaking next to me in shock. They didn't have to say anything for him to know. I knew it too. We were all waiting for them to say it.
Sofia rushed over to Martins other side and held his hand tight. "Martin," I sighed.
"Jason's unit was hit pretty hard, as we already said, Vincenzo was hit pretty hard but should make a full recovery. But Jason," the soldier couldn't finish.
"No," Martin gasped next to me.
"The unit sends it regards, we're so sorry, but your cousin didn't make it out." He finally let out. "Vincenzo really did his best to get him out."
"No!" Martin screamed. This time Angelina began to cry as well. As much as I wanted to comfort my baby, Martin needed it more as his entire body began to shake. "No, no, no, this can't be true!"
I picked up Angelina to calm her down as Sofia started to tend to Martin, "Shh, Baby, I'm so sorry."
"He can't be gone. We're supposed to go to his wedding when he came back, supposed to have a family." he sobbed out.
My heart ached for my friend. Whatever Vincenzo and Jason had been through must have been really terrible. They normally only came to tell of deaths, not of injuries. I was glad Vincenzo was alive, but I couldn't really think of that as I held Angelina in my arms as Martins world had just fallen apart.l
I turned to look at Vincenzo whose face had gone a ghostly white. "Love, are you okay?"
He nodded slowly. "That's actually how I got those scars," he muttered softly.
"What?" I asked as I grabbed his shaking hands.
"The scars on my chest, the bad ones. There was a bomb and active shooters. I was supposed to be the one to diffuse the bomb since I was faster at it, but Jason insisted. I was going back for him because we had ran out of time, but I was just barely at the edge of the blast zone, bad but survivable wounds. He was at the center of it all."
"Oh, honey," I trailed my hands over his face.
"Do...do you think we can go see them? I know Jason would want me to check on them, and," he paused and shut his eyes. "And I need to see them too."
I pressed a kiss to his eyelids. "Yeah, let me text them right now."
I took my phone out as Vincenzo pulled me into his arms. He ran his hand through my hair as I texted Sofia. I had messaged her a few times since Vincenzo got back, and she wanted to know how he took to Angelina, but nothing besides that. They knew we were busy, but I'm sure it hurt them too knowing Jason would've been home now too.
Ever since Jason had died, Martins entire outlook on life had changed. Sofia said it wasn't a problem since he still, but I know having someone around kept them both sane.
Sofia responded that she was free so I let her know that Vincenzo and I would like to see them.
The texting bubble was on far too long for my liking. Sofia responded. They wanted us to come around six so I will be able to put Angelina to bed on time and we can get home early.
I confirmed and closed my phone.
"Vincenzo?" I asked.
"Hmm," he muttered against my hair.
"Sofia said we can come over around 6 tonight."
"Okay," he lulled.
I laughed and turned around to face him. "Do you need a nap too?"
He blinked one eye open. "Hmm, will you be taking this nap with me?"
I smirked. "I don't think you'd actually be getting much sleep if I did."
He let out a smile. "I promise I won't try anything. I just miss sleeping next to you. You keep the nightmares away and I just want to feel you."
I kissed him again. "Okay, only if you carry me." I flung my arms open and Vincenzo just laughed as he picked me up like I had for Angelina a few minutes earlier.
He led us up to our room and set me down gently on the bed. I was in a pair of comfortable sweatpants and a t-shirt, so I didn't need to change. Vincenzo flung off his shirt and pants, so he was only in his boxers before he crawled into bed with me. I turned to face him, so we were nose-to-nose. I shut my eyes sniffing in his scent. Vincenzo pulled me closer and began to run calm circles around my back. Maybe I was a little tired too...
I woke up to a dark room and alone in bed. I pouted as I sat up but then checked the time. It was a quarter after 5. Shoot! Angelina would have woken up from her nap already. I ran out of my room and into hers. She wasn't there. My baby! My baby was.....It took me a second to remember that I wasn't alone in this house anymore. I calmed down and walked downstairs to where I saw Vincenzo was with our daughter.
He was in the position we were in earlier. The sides of the room were blocked off and Angelina was running around as Vincenzo laughed with her. She would run up to him and drop off various toys which he proceeded to tickle her every time she dropped one off earning a fit of giggles.
"Papa!" Angelina perked up when she realized I was watching. I stepped over the gate and kissed my little girl's head.
"Were you having fun with Daddy?" I asked.
"Si!" Angelina exclaimed back to me and my heart filled. I'm sure Vincenzo's did as well.
"That's great baby, but we're going out to see Zia Sofia and Zio Martin. You need to get ready," I said.
"Fia! Marin!" she said trying to make out their names.
Vincenzo swung down and scooped up Angelina producing a fit of giggles as he tickled her. "How about we let papa get ready too? He just woke up from his nap too."
I quirked my brow. "Are you sure you're up for getting her ready?"
Angelina scoffed. "How hard can it be getting an almost two year old ready?"
I kissed his lips and smirked. "You're about to find out, Daddy."
I ran upstairs to quickly get ready. I threw on a pair of jeans and a nice shirt and fixed my hair. As I suspected, a few minutes later I heard Angelina let out a loud whiney scream. I winced and headed over to her room.
If Vincenzo wasn't so distressed, the scene in front of me may have almost been comical. He managed to get Angelina into a clean diaper, but that was it. She was running around the room and screaming while Vincenzo chased her.
"Angie, sweetie, please. You need to get dressed so you can see Zia Sofia. Don't you want that?" he practically begged.
"No!" Angelina crossed her arms.
I laughed behind them as Vincenzo let out a sigh. "Do you need some help?" I questioned.
"I.....I thought I could do this on my own like you," he muttered.
I smiled. "She hates changing, probably a trait she got from me. Come here baby girl," I said holding out my arms.
Angelina stayed put. "No," she fought back.
"At least I'm not the only one getting an attitude," he mumbled.
"Angelina," I scolded and went to her closet and pulled out a casual pink dress. "How about this? Zia Sofia got it for you."
"No," she stood her ground.
"At least we know she's your daughter, got your stubbornness from you," Vincenzo said.
I glared at him. "Not helping," I snapped.
"Sorry," he muttered quietly and looked down. My heart sank. I hadn't meant to snap at him. All he was trying to do was help, it wasn't his fault Angelina wasn't being cooperative. He was still learning her habits and I had to remember that.
"It's okay love, I'm just tired," I softened. "Angelina, sweetie," I tried to calm my voice too. Her arms dropped. "Can you please just put this dress on? For papa?"
Shoot. Now we were doing a complete 180. Angelina's face dropped and she began to cry. "Oh, honey," I went over and pulled her into my arms. It was hard at her age to know if she actually understood my words, but she could tell my tone and responded to it. "Shh, it's okay. Papa just wants you to have some clothes on."
"Papa," she cried.
"Shh, let's just put your dress on," I said, and she finally complied. She slipped the dress on and I quickly put her shoes on too in case she decided to revert back to her stubbornness. "Let's go," I said picking her up. Vincenzo slowly stood up from the other side of the room. He came over and was about to take her from me. "I've got her," I said a little too harshly. Again, I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but Angelina was sensitive right now.
He gulped. "Do you need anything else?"
I pointed. "That bag, it has her diaper stuff and some toys." He nodded and quickly grabbed it.
We headed outside and I strapped Angelina into her car seat. I shut the door and headed up to the driver's seat. Vincenzo was opening the door, but I promptly shut it and he rose an eyebrow.
"What door do you think you're getting in, Stupido?" I crossed my arms.
He stared me down. "I've left the house like once since I've been back. Please, let me drive?" he pouted his face into a puppy dog expression. Gosh, Angelina had mastered that same expression.
"Nope, not going to work. Our daughter has had that same expression, I'm immune to it now," I said, and he continued to pout. "Plus, do you even know where their new house is?"
"House?" His ears perked up.
I sighed. "Well, more of a condo really. After Jason, their old apartment felt too much like him. They moved out closer to us. I think Sofia became really attached to Angelina."
Vincenzo sighed and finally handed me the keys. "Okay, you win this one Angie."
I smirked as I took the keys. "I'm pretty sure I win them all."
He smiled. "And like always, you are correct." He said before sliding into the passenger's seat.
I smiled at Vincenzo and hoped in the driver's seat before heading off. It didn't take long to get to Sofia and Martin's new home. They loved the neighborhood Vincenzo and I bought into and thought it would be a good one to move to as well. Plus, that meant Angelina and I were close to them and their kids too.
We finally pulled up into the driveway after ten or so minutes of driving. I turned back to Angelina who was happily gurgling in the back. I then turned to Vincenzo, who for some reason was shaking excessively.
"Honey," I said placing my hand on top of his. He jumped slightly but relaxed when I ran my thumb over his knuckles. "Are you okay?"
He nodded slowly before speaking. "Yeah, it's just the last time I saw them, Jason and I were heading off for deployment. Now I'm back and he isn't. It's not fair."
"Oh, Vinny," I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "It's not, but you're here now. Please remember that what happened couldn't really be avoided."
He smiled and kissed me back. "I know. I have you and Angelina to show for it every day."
I continued to rub his knuckles. "Are you ready to go inside?"
"I'm ready to see them," he said.
We began to head inside once I got Angelina out of her car seat. We stood silent on their porch step for a moment. I pressed my hand against Vincenzo's.
"Do you want me to knock?" I questioned and all he did was nod silently in response. With Angelina still rested on my hip, I knocked on their big white door.
It only took a few moments before someone opened the door. Standing on the other side was my good friend with her stark black hair and electric blue eyes that matched his late cousin.
Martin stood silent for a second before engulfing Vincenzo in a hug, something he rarely did. Vincenzo stood in shock before wrapping his arms around him, hugging his best friend.
"Martin," he chocked out. "I'm so sorry. Jason," but he cut him off.
"Don't say anything, Vinny. We're just glad you're home," Martin pulled away and let out a small smile. "Come inside."
We followed him in and shut the door behind us. Before I could even take my shoes off, Martin took Angelina out of my arms and she let out a giggle.
"How's my favorite niece doing?" Martin asked and Angelina let out a smile. "Are you happy that your dad's home?"
"Ya!" Angelina giggled and I saw Vincenzo let out a big smile.
"Let's take you inside. I got you some new toys," Martin smiled at my daughter. We followed him into the living room where we saw Sofia sitting, shaking profusely.
"Sofia," I let out. But she wasn't looking at me; she was looking at Vincenzo.
It seemed like he silently understood her plea and made his way over to her. He sat down next to her and took her hands. She still wore her engagement ring and wedding ring on her left even though it had been over a year since her fiancé died.
"Sofia," Vincenzo gulped. "About Jason, I'm sorry. I tried to save him, but he was stubborn and wouldn't listen."
Sofia had tears in her eyes and let out a sad laugh. "He always had to be the hero."
"Until the very end."
"Can, can I ask what happened or is that classified?" She questioned and Vincenzo sucked in a breath. He hadn't spoken much of that day yet. "If it's too much, I understand. I just need to know."
"Whatever you guys need to hear, I'll tell you."
Martin and I began to settle in next to them as they had already set up a playpen for their own kids and gently set her inside. Surprisingly, my daughter was staying quiet. Maybe she recognized her dad had something important to say.
Vincenzo glanced up at me to make a silent plea. Martin must've saw it too because he stood up and took Vincenzo's place by Sofia so he could sit next to me. He immediately grasped my hand before he spoke.
"The day started off normal enough," he began shutting his eyes. He started to shake, and I gripped his hand tight. "But then we got word that the group we had been chasing was planning something, a bomb." Vincenzo stopped for a second looking like he was in physical pain.
"It's okay, you don't have to talk about it, not yet," Martin grew understanding.
"What happened when he died?" Sofia pushed.
"Sofie," Martin scolded.
"I need to know how my son's godfather died!" Sofia screamed.
"Piper, Vincenzo's only been back a week. He needs time to adjust. We can come back in a few weeks," I said but he began to gather himself.
"He died saving us," he said.
"Vinny," I said.
"How?" Sofia urged.
"There was a bomb. We weren't sure how far the detonation would go so, we had to evacuate as many civilians as far out as we could. We also wanted to try to stop the bomb. I was supposed to go, but Jason wouldn't have it," Vincenzo paused. "We argued and argued about it. He just kept telling me that I had a family to go back to, and I tried to remind him of you guys, but again, he was just too damn stubborn. I don't know why he was so pushy. I went back for him after the evacuations were done and we were out of time, but the bomb had already gone off before I could get close enough to him, but he did lowered the detonation zone. A saved us all, he was a hero."
"He saved you," Martin said. "He was too good. I doubt he would've let you otherwise, but he knew about Angelina then too."
My eyes shot over to them. "He what?"
Martin nodded sadly. "He knew. I don't know how he got to call me, but he had the day before. Maybe fate knew he would be gone the next. But I told him about our goddaughter. About how amazing you were with Angelina and how he and Vincenzo needed to get back to see her."
"He saved me. He saved me for my little girl," Vincenzo said, and we all looked at Angelina who was happily playing in her playpen. "I'll never be able to thank him enough."
"Just name your next kid after him like we did, I'm sure he'd like that," Martin laughed.
"Next kid?" I let out a laugh. "That's not happening for a while, right?" but Vincenzo was only paying attention to our little girl.
"That might just have to be arranged," he mumbled.
"Excuse me?" I snapped.
"I mean....um, no other kids yet."
I frowned. "Are you happy now? You gave him baby fever!"
"He would've felt it eventually, and it's not like we meant right away," Sofia said. "Why don't you tell him what you went through."
"I already did, I think he gets it," I said.
"Surely you have questions for him!"
"In time!" I snapped getting her to shut up about my struggles. Sofia shot me a look but let it go and didn't bring it up again until we were leaving.
I already knew there was a lot more going on behind Vincenzo eyes than he'd let on, even to me. I could tell by the way he was moving and touching me that he'd been hurt, I just didn't know how badly. Finally we arrived back home got inside and luckily Angelina was already sleeping.
"Regardless or everything, I'm glad to have you home."
All he gave me was a nod of his head. This was not like him husband at all, the exhaustion was etched in his eyes and when he spoke i could detect the hint of tears. He just couldn't get it out yet.
"Talk to me, Vinny I know you're a lot worse off than you are letting on," I said after I put Angelina in her crib.
"I'm just tired, Sweetheart," he told me. "Little sore, it's nothing. I've actually been so worried about you."
"Me? Why?" I asked.
"This whole time I've just, you seemed so distant, and quiet," he replied. "Angry? I don't know, but I just want to stay now and do my part. I also didn't ask if anything else happened while I was away."
"Nothing," she said.
"I've told you what I was going through, but I have yet to listen to how you felt about everything," he said. "Obviously, I should do more around here and pull my weight, but how do you feel about me and my job?"
I held him and thought to my time alone. "I was really scared."
He rocked a little, "So was I, baby," he admitted. "Never thought I'd see your face or hear your voice again, but I did. Every time I closed my eyes I did."
I smiled. "I missed you."
"I missed you too, every minute I was awake."
"Your scars make me upset."
"I know, it's nothing compared to what the other guys got," Vincenzo said. "It's okay, it didn't hurt that much."
"Are you sure?" I asked
"Yeah," he nodded. "That bed looks pretty comfortable though. Do you mind?" He could barely keep his eyes open.
"No, not at all, while we still can have some peace. Angelina definitely isn't an all night sleeper so-"
"Let me handle it then."
"But-"
"You have been raising our daughter for almost two years now. It's time I contribute as well."
That reminds me. "You accepted the idea of being a father quickly."
"I haven't fully yet, but I'm working on it and I'm going to start my therapy again tomorrow. It was very sudden and I'm convinced that I'm going to fail and be like my father. But really.....the thing I feel the most is happiness and I'm not sure how to handle it."
"Happiness?"
"Yes, you surprised me with a child and said I am the father and made us into a more complete family. I'm rethinking everything I have anticipated in life because I just want my family, that you worked so hard to maintain in my absence, to have everything they want. I love you, Rocco, like I've never loved anyone before, and I love my family," he said. "But tell me what you were feeling while I was gone and stop bringing it back to me."
"Is it that important since you were doing something really good?" I asked.
"It is important for me to know."
"The house was way too big. Empty rooms, empty walls, empty everything. And I had complained—oh, I had complained so often!—that the house was much too small when we moved in. I had never had enough room for my medical books on the shelves, though you often teased that i just had too many books. But then.....then it seemed like the entire world could fit on it. My head was always pounding with exhaustion and everything started to pile up, though not for very long. Thinking back, It wasn't even the house, not really; it's the emptiness, the quietness that I couldn't deal with."
"Were you that lonely?"
"Well, I might've overreacted. Lots of people live alone and love it, but it was my first time really being....alone. I had gotten sick alone and ate alone and did everything by myself, except work."
"How did you pass the time?"
"I looked at our photos," I smiled thinking back on how grateful I was that Vincenzo took a million of them before he deployed. The old-fashioned, clunky photo album Vincenzo always insisted on keeping. The cobalt-blue plastic cover was tearing a bit from how much I looked through it, the thick paper pages were dog-eared and yellowed with age.
I remember that I had laughed at him so many times as he painstakingly cut photos to fit the little plastic pockets telling him to just put them all onto the computer or his phone so he can look at them whenever. In the end, he said he would do that too but he was keeping the printed pictures of us. Like he said, just being able to touch them, and see themwere a thousand times better than a silly computer. When I saw our photo album, it's like being able to travel back in time to when the pictures were taken and it didn't let me feel so lonely anymore.
"I won't be going back."
This is what I was afraid of. He obviously loved what he did, otherwise why would he keep going back? "You don't-"
"It's not because of you, Rocco, and I'm not resigning from the military. I just mean active duty infantry or special ops isn't something I want to do anymore. I want to come home to my family every night. I want to see you and Angelina everyday. I want to eat and sleep with you again. I love my job, but I feel a hole in my heart when I go for deployment. Now that I'm back, I feel like my heart is complete again. I can definitely do my job from a base in America." Vincenzo explained. "I was thinking last time I left that it would be my last mission anyway. It's time to put those thoughts into action."
"But you're so good at what you do!"
"Yeah, but everyone else on the team is just as good. And I can probably make more from the desk job, honestly. After all, we need to open up Angelina's college fund."
He really wanted this! He wasn't going to go back! God has finally answered my prayers! I didn't have to worry about him never coming back!
"I'm so happy," I couldn't stop the tears from falling.
"Rocco, I know I left you alone. Hell, I haven't been there like I should've been for ten years straight and the last two were spent with you doing twice the work alone. I know we're young, and the future's uncertain, and we're fighting some pretty strong odds here—but Rocco, I want to be with you and Angelina the rest of my life, a long life. Seriously. I love you. So much. I honestly don't know if I could live without you and I'm not willing to chance letting you get away," he continued before suddenly producing was a little red velvet box in his hand. "Im so sorry I took so fucking long to do this even though I've been sure four years now, and I know this isn't very romantic since we're both tired.....but Rocco Lombardi will you marry me?"
I felt extremely choked at his words. Marriage was something I had given up on thinking about since Vincenzo wasn't pushing for it and I was somewhat content with the way we were.
But to actually receive the things I had given up on....was there even a need to think about it?
I threw my arms around him. "Don't ever leave me again," I said firmly through my tears while holding him so tightly i thought my arms would fall off.
Vincenzo chuckled as he buried his face into my neck. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on it. I already put in all the transfer paperwork and it's being worked on as we speak."
"Then yes, I'll marry you," I cried happily as he slipped the ring gently onto my ring finger and pulled me into a deep kiss.