I sighed heavily as i pushed away my laptop, the words of my latest text message stubbornly floating in my mind. My last two messages were pathetic, so pathetic, in fact, that my now ex-boyfriend probably couldn't even be bothered to reply to them.
It just broke my heart that i couldn't be there for him to help him recover and I know that he wanted me to be there too. I'm even thinking about how nice it would be to cuddle him from behind and fall asleep.
Why break up with me? Why break up with me with that kind of face on? Sighing, I shut my screen off. It has been three days since Danny dumped me. Seventy two hours in which we haven't spoken to each other.
Why couldn't he just trust me to handle his problem? I could do it! I could take care of him if he would just let me. I should be taking care of him!
He's mine!
Worst of all.....it's like my brain is trying to block out his face. I can't remember just how his hair fell, and I can't remember how tall he was compared to me, just that he was smaller. Did his hair part left or right? Did it even part? How soft were his lips against mine, his hands on my body? My memory of him blurs and fades as each day passes and the hole in my heart consumes me. I want to feel him holding me. I want to hug him tightly. I want to feel his heart beating against mine. These delusions are my every thought, my every breath.
I played with the ring he had slipped into my pocket while I had begged him not to break up with me. It feels weird to have it back in my possession, like it was the key to my heart that he refused to have any longer, because he doesn't need access anymore. It feels weird not to be in contact with him, because it's like he was trying to vanish from my life completely, and delete every trace that he has ever been with me. It feels weird to see how my room feels empty, because every inch of it screams DanDanDan and even with nothing but what i gave him back, i just can't get rid of his presence. It feels weird not to be us anymore.
My bitch bio moms voice jolts me out of my worsening depression. "What kind of cheap shit is this?" She holds up a plaid red shirt. I remember buying it at some fair, but i also have this clear image of Danny wearing it in my head. Danny had loved snatching my shirts as much as he liked to deny it. Sometimes we would share them, sometimes he would keep them and wear them so often that it was almost impossible for me to get them back, and i let him. Because i had loved it when he was wearing my shirts. It brought out this special connection we have had, everything we have had, a little insight in our perfect relationship that has otherwise been off limits to anybody else. Now it just shows what we have lost, because Danny wont be wearing my shirt anymore, and it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
"It's something special," I snatched it from her afraid that her perfume would overpower Danny smell. Luckily, the smell or lavender and topical creams remained. "You wouldn't understand anything about loving something that much."
"Are you alright?"
"Why does that matter? You got what you wanted didn't you?" I buried my face in Dans shirt. "You know he gets lonely really easily. I've been texting him nonstop."
"Stop this! He wasn't anything good!"
"He's better than good. He's perfect," I felt the tears start to drop furiously into the shirt. "What the hell are you even doing here? Haven't you done enough?"
"I haven't done anything!" She snapped.
"Bullshit. Get out of of my room."
"What the hell is this? Are you collecting junk now?" She asked picking up the lucky inhaler Danny had given me from my dresser. As fast I could possibly manage, I rushed over to her to snatch it from her filthy hands before she could taint this memory as well.
"It's special to me and I'm pretty sure I said get out of my room."
"Ashton, I came to convince you to change your mind. You can't just refuse to succeed my company or your fathers! You've promised to incorporate them when we retire!"
"You see, I don't trust whatever you two do or have done, nor do I appreciate it or want it. You're both liars and people that would stab their family in the back and lie to their face. Give it to someone else and never contact me again, I've already had my mom file for a restraining order against you," I said.
"I'm your mother!"
"You're just some stranger who deluded herself into thinking that I am exactly like you. I'm nothing like you, and I never will be! I don't know why you think you have control over my life but get that thought out of your head!"
"I'm just doing what's best for you!"
"Don't treat me like an idiot. You just didn't like my decision so you went out of your way to change it. I tolerated you guys before because you both knew your place in my life. But now the lines been crossed," I stared her down making sure I was being as intimidating as possible. "I never want to see your face again. From today on you're nothing but a stranger to me. I don't even want to bump into you at a store or on the street. Even by accident. If you see me, walk the other way, because we have no connection."
"How could you say that?"
"Easy. It's just justice running it course," I said resisting the urge to just throw her out of a window. "Now get the fuck out of my room." She stared at me dumbfounded, as if she didn't understand anything that I had just said. Like I was some kind of joke to her! "If you don't want your corruption going public and ruining the career you worked oh so fucking hard for to disappear, then leave. Do you even care that you gave someone a heart attack?"
"Why do you even think I did anything to that trash?"
"Your character is shit, but easy to predict. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that you did something. You might as well come clean and tell me what it was you did before I find out from someone else."
"I didn't do anything!" She insisted on lying to my face. In a moment of fury, I picked her up by the collar of her blazer and lifted her off of her her feet. When I reached my door, I threw her into the hallway and slammed it shut.
My baby, was all alone right now, and if I went there, it might really put his health in jeopardy. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place!
I remembered Danny's hands on me, his fingers cool and gentle as they stroked my hair in a familiar pattern. I remembered the death-grip i'd kept on Danny's wrist, for hours and hours on end, even after we had done stuff and I knew he would be all right. I remembered watching Danny's face in the light of the rising sun, the gold of sunrise sparking gold out of his dark brown eyes, and thinking how oddly beautiful he was, with his fox's gaze and grace. But now I would most likely never see his beautiful foxy eyes again...me and my Lovebug would never be.
I remember the night that he drug me out in the pouring rain just because he wanted to jump in mud puddles like he used to watch other kids do. We had so much fun, and then he slipped and and almost fell on the driveway. I caught him before he could fall. I picked him up and made a show by swinging him around right before he kissed me. I had never felt more complete than that night as we made love and held each other. He had gotten sick the next day due to the rain and let me take care of his every need no matter how annoyed he'd acted.
I remember us preparing dinner together. He did most of the work since I had no idea what to do with anything, but he still patiently taught me what to do. When it was all done, we sat down on the couch to eat our dinner, together. We had watched "Cannibal Holocaust", a famous Horror film I had never seen before. Danny had turned from his food to lay on my lap and I caressed his hair and his face. He moved a little bit under my caresses and she moved to look at me. He got up and faced me, looking into my eyes with his lovely dark ones before he closed the space between us and captured my lips with his, into a passionate kiss. He tasted like bbq chicken.
Then he began to unbuckle my belt, unbutton and unzip my jeans. I took off his thin grey cardigan and his white t-shirt, he took off my shoes and I took off his black boots. He took my socks and I took off his. Undressing each other was something we had managed to turn into a connecting activity where we show each other a lot of love for doing something so little.
The last time I saw his face, he was screaming and crying in pain, picturing his face tore at my heart emotionally with agony. The feelings in his body seemed to drive him insane, causing him to avoid me and cry uncontrollably. Then he made a rather unusual request to me in his distressed state, the only one who could end it, a heartbreaking one. . The words still rang in my ears, "We need to break up."
I could only overthink and cry myself. I could never, not him, oh please, God, don't let me lose him. Not the only thing I had to live for. Not the flame that sparked the fire of hope in my overly lonely life.
I could only sleep my pain away.
When I woke up, I found myself in total darkness unmoved from where I initially fell asleep, the only sound my own laboured breathing from the terrible dream I had. I took a long, deep breath and covered my face with my hands, feeling my cheeks, soaked in the tears that the nightmare-slash-dream-slash-memory has brought on. In it Danny had appeared to tell me that everything was fake and that he could never love someone like me. He told me to take my fantasy and shove it before he ran into the arms of Vincenzo. Only showing him his loving smile. I let my hands slip down so that they only covered my mouth and I stared across the room at the messy bookshelf against the wall, studying the dark outline of the shape of the books staked there.
I could lose myself in those books like I used to do as a kid. Children are masters of altering reality, and I twisted and folded my own reality to such a degree that I was hardly aware of my parent's version of it. My world used to be a collage of prehistoric landscapes, interplanetary vistas, woodland escapades, and shape-shifting that would have impressed a Star Trek changeling. I duplicated, transmogrified, and time-traveled to my heart's content – and my best friend, a long-suffering, smart-mouthed pig named Oppenheimer from London, accompanied me every step of the way.
But as a consequence of spending so much time shaping and reshaping my private world, I alienated myself from the worlds of others for a long time. I don't think I had a friend aside from Oppenheimer until high school. Not that I cared, but for years my parents were worried that I must have some sort of psychological problem that made me relate to my pig friend better than to "real" people. Not the case – I was simply content with Oppenheimer and preferred his company to that of most humans.
I haven't thought about Oppenheimer since I had met Danny. In fact I had forgotten what he looked like entirely. There was only a threadbare stuffed pig in place of my oldest friend. And empty space where Danny should be.
I heard the faint creak of the door being pushed open next to me and I turned towards the noise, relaxing when I noticed the pair of large eyes peering at me through the darkness.
"Bubba?" a soft voice asked, tiny and wavering and sounding just enough like Danny to make the dream really hit home, for the memory of the last time I saw him to make a deep ache erupt in my chest before I shoved it away, drowning it and submerging the pain so that I didn't have to deal with it for now.
"Are you alright? I can see you crying." Mom continued, pushing her black hair hair out of her eyes delicately and taking a tentative step inside.
"I'm fine, mommy," I said quietly, reaching up and flicking the light on. Mom blinked a few times as her eyes adjusted to the sudden light and I smiled gently at her, stretching my arm out.
She helped me up and examined my face. "My poor baby, I've never seen you so upset."
"I'm not upset."
"Bubba, you are upset. Don't worry, your dad and your father are doing their best to fix all the damage caused," she pulled me into a tight hug. "Smile for mommy, please."
I gave her the best smile I could muster up and she wiped my tears from my face. "I know you guys are fixing it. I just miss him so much.
"Oh Bubba, mommy knows you you miss him. Me and daddy miss him too. That's we're going to do everything we can to help you, ok?" She assured me.
"Ok."
"Good. You friend Sam is here to see you. It looks like it could be really important. Come out of your room and speak to him. Maybe he can help you too," she said.
"I'll go now," I pulled away from her hug and made my way out of my room for the first time in three days.
Walking to the bottom of the staircase, I paused before going further. I looked at the doors to the entrance and smiled thinking about the last time Danny had come here through those doors. It has started snowing and it was extremely cold. We had sit by the fireplace inside, drank hot chocolate and ate cookies and talked more about future in college. The future that might not happen now.
"You look like shit," Sam came in for a hug but quickly backed away. "You smell like shit too. Wanna tell me why you never told me that Danny had a fucking heart attack?!"
"I'm trying not to think about it, so I don't go and stress him out."
"You idiot! Don't tell me you fell for that bullshit!" Sam threw his head back in frustration. "Listen bro, you need to speak to someone."
"I don't need therapy."
"I didn't mean a therapist! Someone came to me with some information, but I feel like if I tell you who it is in this state, you'll freak the fuck out."
"Who is it."
"I'll tell you if you get in shower so we can go. You need to hear this so you can get Danny back!"
"Not until he's out of danger. He still needs the recovery time," I said. "We can't go there so why....what do you want?"
"I'm here to snap you out of your depression so you can take charge again. Seriously man, how can you even fix a thing with the emo atmosphere you've created for yourself." Sam smirked, trying to play off the nervousness.
"You're worried about me?"
"And Dan. So go shower and let's go! Now! By the end of today you'll know what you need to know!" Sam demanded. Instead of arguing with him I trudged back upstairs and into the shower as I was told.
Arousal pierced through my groin as the memory of the shower Danny and I once shared clawed at my brain. Visions of his lips on mine, him being pressed to my chest as he let my hands trail along his body was becoming too much to bear. It was almost as though I could taste him, feel him, every sense heightened due to the intoxicating aroma around me since we used the same soap.
Unable to handle it any longer i let the memories flow, my recollection of one of our many lust filled night flawless as always. Reaching for my already hardened length, I began stroking it to the remembered sensation of being buried inside his hot, tiny body.
Bracing myself with my spare hand against the wall of the shower I increased the speed of my strokes. Eyes closed, his lavender scent lingering all around me, the memory of tasting it directly from the skin of his neck, from his lips and between his legs pushing me all too quickly towards his climax. Reaching my peak, Dannys name fell from my lips.
I was weak and Danny was right, it was no good on my own. Brought to my knees by something as simple as soap and the idea of Danny wearing my clothes after a shower. He really had ruined my innocent mind. There truly was no going back for me. In fact, if I'm being honest with myself, it had all been over after that very first meeting at lunch time. His beauty, sharp mind and quick wit speaking to me on some unconscious level, recognising the significance of him, long before my conscious mind caught up. I'm pretty sure i fell in love with him at first sight.
I was awoken from my reminiscence by a sharp knock on the door.
"Ash! Hurry the fuck up! You're taking to god damn long to do anything!" Came Sam's whiny voice. I then realized the water had long since calmed me down and I had been spacing out. I turned off the water and proceeded to get dressed as quickly as possible.
Sam explained nothing as just ushered me to the passenger seat of his car before just taking off at top speed.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"We're going to find out what actually happened to make Danny dump you like that. Early this morning, this person called me and they told me to bring you so they can explain everything and give you all the evidence he has," Sam said turning on a side street to the lower income part of town.
"Who is it?"
"Not telling you until we get there."
"I took a shower!"
"That was more for my own sake. You needed that shower desperately and you weren't about to get in my car smelling like hot garbage," Sam said. "I know your sad dude, but you won't be once you hear everything."
"Where are we going?" I asked, since he couldn't tell me who we were going to see.
"It doesn't matter, you probably won't be coming here again," he brushed me off again. What the fuck?! So I couldn't know who wanted to help me out or where we were going? Sam was right to try and trick me.
I don't want to be here.
"Even if you don't do this, I'll still collaborate with you in the future for business," I sighed.
"Then don't think of this as me doing something for you. I'm just doing this because my best friend is in the hospital, recovering from a heart attack and a heart break. I'm just doing what I can for him," Sam scoffed at me, unaffected by my rude behavior. "I just thought you would want to join me in learning the truth of everything from the horses mouth yourself. And in case you forgot, my dad owns that hospital, and there's some video footage you need to see for yourself. But I guess you'd rather stay ignorant of the situation just because you're sad."
It's not like I could walk home. "That was rude, I'm sorry, I know you're just trying to help."
"Good, now continue being a good boy," he ordered stopping the can in front of a block of houses that all looked the same. The neighborhood looks shabby and I wondered just who the hell did Sam know out here.
I looked at him in confusion, already holding my door open for me, and shake my head, deciding not to even thinking about it. I even firmly covered the tattoo on my forearm as Danny told me that showing them off in low income areas could attract the wrong attention. It felt wrong to cover it up I thought it was just like covering up my memory of Danny that was imprinted on me. But I don't want to forget how this tattoo made me feel. I have never cared for something so trivial as a tattoo before, that lo... no. No, I can't even think of the word now.
I got out of the car and started following Sam to a house, getting a good look at it for the first time since we arrived. I felt like shrinking into a smaller person as the people around stared at us curiously.
The windows on the first floor had been all smashed or badly replaced as I could see the panes weren't even. I was expecting to see wood covering them as that is what usually happens to run down homes, but there wasn't any wood covering the window holes though. Just plastic bags and newspaper.
"I know it's run down but I had arranged to board up the windows but only until I can to have them replaced." Sam explained as if I cared about this place. Was he secretly living here in this run down shack? Does he need housing? If he does, he shouldn't be spending money on new windows as they are the same cheap style with the holes in the screens and the dents and dings of wear and tear.
Sam prompted me forward. I take a few steps forward and I could see that the front door had been replaced as well. The design was slightly different to the style of house, but it was a damn close match. And it was hanging from only the top hinge, looking as though whoever installed it gave up early.
That alone is a drastic improvement.
As I continue to step forward, a motion detector light clicks on, which is something that's not only damn convenient but could help keep me safe as the day was turning to night. When it clicks on, I see the house had had more than the paint job it first looked like. Some of the wood siding had also been replaced. Some of it had been in decent shape but I no longer see the dent where one had obviously been before.
I walk up the porch steps, to find they all creak and feel bouncy, like they will break. If I'm ambushed in here, I'll be able to hear them coming. I do have to admit to being worried that. Looking down the porch, I see a porch swing is there but it has rusty chains.
What the fuck are we doing here?
At this point, I am pleasantly surprised that I have been able to hold it together while seeing everything that Sam must have arranged done to this house. He didn't really change things; it was more like a restorative process.
"Are you living here?" I asked.
"You couldn't pay me to live in this dump." Sam raised his lip in disgust. Thank god, I could stop looking for things to compliment just to be polite.
Shaking my head I make my way to the front door but stop when I get to it. This isn't my house, I can't just walk in. Suddenly, an arm reaches past me with a set of keys to unlock the door before pushing me forward.
The first thing that hit me was the strong smell of cigarettes and weed. It felt like it was choking me fiercely as it was suddenly all I could smell. A part of me resented Sam for being the reason I'd have to take a second shower when we leave. A TV sat in front of a smelly, ratty looking faux leather couch where someone was engaged in a video game.
Sam walked in front of me, setting off the terribly creaky wood, and pulled off his head phones. The person paused the game and immediately turned around obviously angry but it seemed to quickly dissipate once he saw it was Sam.
"Wassup, Benefactor, Ashton!" Martin Doolittle, of all people, he brought me into Martin's home? That can only mean-
"They're here?" Vincenzo appeared from a hallway suddenly looking almost as bad as I felt. Now I understand why Sam wasn't willing to say anything. "Hi, Ashton."
"You-" i took a step towards him but Sam jumped in front of me.
"Wait!" Sam put his hands up to stop me. "You have every right to be mad, but you have to hear this first!"
I crossed my arms. "Well it's not like I can just leave."
Vincenzo walked over to the couch and joined Martin. Sam and I stood up across from them as I was sure we were both thinking that there was no way that couch wasn't infested with some kind of bug.
"Take a seat," Martin insisted.
"Not until you get new furniture, dude." Sam declined.
"It's a clean couch."
"It's a used couch. I don't think so," Sam stood his ground. "No offense."
"Fuck you, rich boy," Martin smirked.
"The attorney general approached me on my way home the day before Danny had that heart attack. I don't know how exactly she knew who I was, but she did and she felt that I could keep Dan away from you." Vincenzo kept his head down. I had to resist the urge to throttle him good. "But she doesn't know that I recorded our entire conversation."
He put his phone down on the table and let the recording play.
""Never seen you before.""
""I'm his biological mother, not the one raising
him. Vincenzo Devellis, you used to hang
around with my son a few years ago, correct?
Father Enzo, mother Apolonia? I can see why
he kept you around.""
""Um, do you already know everything?""
""Not everything.""
""Well then, I have something to tell you about
your son. He stole someone from me and I
want them back. As much as I try to get him
back, Ashton just won't let him go and it's
getting on my nerves.""
""Wow, so my son stole Daniel from you? No
wonder he's acting so indifferent with me
now.""
""You believe me just like that?""
""Of course. I have no reason to doubt you, and
my son never went against me before he met
that boy. I'm sure you know, as the attorney
general, I'm a very busy woman, so I can't tend
to Ashton as much, but that doesn't mean I
can't still set him on a better path.""
""You're going to force them apart?""
""That's my plan. But I need some extra
information.""
""What do you need to know?""
""What time his father leaves for work. He
seemed to attribute all of his self worth to his
father, so I'm going yo use that against him. I
have a list charges including kidnapping as well
as fake documents and a paid couple to act like
they are Daniels real parents. During the
confusion, he should get the point that he has
no choice but to break up with Ashton, or he
will never see his father again. After all that, you
can get your little boyfriend back and keep him
away from my son.""
""He usually leave for work around 6:30 every
morning. You can't miss him.""
""I'm curious as to why you're so eager to help
me. This is just a guess, but I have a feeling that
Daniel and you have a long history. Are you not
afraid that this'll make Daniel hate you?""
""You think I don't know that he already hates
me? I want him back with me, and that's what
matters, because I can love him better. I don't
care how he might hate me in the future, all I
need his the old Danny back and away from
Ashton so he could be with me.""
""Don't talk down on my son. Know your
place.""
""All I want is for Danny to be back with me no
matter what. It's where he belongs.""
""Then, do your part well. I'll contact you when
the job is done so you can be his knight in
shining armor.""
""I'll do whatever you ask, as long as I get
Danny back to myself.""
The recording ended there.
If Danny's father had been arrested, Danny would be broken beyond repair. After everything that was pulled, no wonder the stress of everything became too much for his poor heart. In his mind, the possibility of losing his father forever and having to see someone else as his parents despite him knowing they aren't, was incredibly real. He would have absolutely have no power to get him back and no one would believe him over the trusted attorney general with a spotless record.
And what would those actors do to Danny once he was made to leave with them? They literally could've done anything to my baby and no one would've known about it at all. What if they had hurt him or what if they had taken him somewhere far away and sold him to someone? There's a lot of victims like that when it comes to some people in the business world. I've heard about it from my dad. The countless possibilities of danger finding my Lovebug flooded my mind at warp speed.
"Vinny, what the fuck? You sound insane!" Sam snapped.
"You think I don't know that now?!" Vincenzo snapped back. "I was being insane back then!"
"If I remember correctly....didn't Danny's father basically raise you? How could you sell him out like that?" I asked him.
"There's no excuse, but I did it out of desperation," he groaned. "I feel like a piece of shit for it already! I know exactly what the fuck I did!"
"What the hell we're you thinking?" Sam asked.
"I could force him using his dad. If he broke up with Ashton, it would all go away and his dad would be let go. It was only meant to scare him, not to give him a heart attack." Vincenzo explained. "When I went to visit him....he really looked like a corpse.....and I still shot my shot, but he still figured everything out in under twenty minutes."
"He knows about it?" Sam asked.
"Yeah, he's too smart to not know. I forgot about that brain of his. He kicked me out of the hospital room," Vincenzo sighed.
"So why are you the one telling me this?" I asked suspicious about his sudden need to open up.
"The therapy. Please let me keep seeing Dr. Mansini, I'm giving Danny up for good this time. I really thought that I loved him, but you don't hurt people you love like I keep doing, so I don't think it's love anymore. Either way, if you let me keep going, I'll leave you both alone and I'll disappear from your lives forever," Vincenzo said the last part looking straight at me. He looked like he was hurting, but I couldn't ignore the strong resolve in his voice.
"Really?"
"I know it's hard to believe, but I'll really stop acting up."
"Why should I believe you?" I could tell that he was telling the truth but with him I couldn't be too sure.
"Why else would I ask Sam to bring you here to show you this?" He asked back.
"You want money for it."
"I'm not asking for money, everything is in this phone. Your moms secretary says all calls are recorded and she called me when it was time to go to the hospital a day ago. The screen lock is off, so just take the phone," Vincenzo said. Martin picked it up and handed it over to me.
"What about-"
"I already have a new phone," he held up a second phone that looked relatively new. "I bought it last night because I planned to give you the one with all the evidence."
"What's your goal?"
"I'm tired of holding onto someone that isn't mine. So just get back with him and make sure he's never sad again, by whatever means possible," Vincenzo sighed and got up. He walked closer with his hand extended out to me for a hand shake.
I know that punching him in the face doesn't solve anything. I really do. But I did it anyway.
I don't know what made me snap this time. Maybe it was his stupid face, maybe it was the unfairness of everything, maybe it was the cold way that he betrayed Danny and his father, maybe it was fear because I've never seen such cruelty, maybe it was just me finally being a dick to him....who knows? But all I do know is that it didn't help the situation. I know it didn't solve the problem. I know that he would just take it because he had weakened significantly. And above all, I most definitely know that I don't feel any better about anything than I did before I hit him the first time. I know all of this, but it just doesn't seem to matter in the same way that nothing seems to matter to him anymore.
"You're scum so low, you can't even compare to anyone I know. Stop pretending to be a human in front of me!" I snapped at him.
"You're right," he said in a monotone voice, as if he were the victim here. "I'm blind, stupid and ignorant. It's ridiculous, up until now, I didn't want to believe any of this was really my fault. But I've accepted it now."
"You're only realizing it now? How does it feel knowing that innocent people suffered because of you."
"It sucks. It's better for everyone if someone like me was dead and gone."
What kind of bullshit was that? "What happened to all that arrogant bravado you had before? I didn't expect you to be such a coward that you would concede only after you've done this much damage. A fool like you, being able to deceive my baby like that....who the fuck do you think you are? Why did it take you this long to learn your place? Why are you acting like you're the only one who got hurt?"
"I've accepted my place now. This is the only way I can take some responsibility for what I did."
I squatted down next to him and looked into his dead eyes. It made me feel instant regret; instant guilt just flowed all over and through me even though he didn't deserve it. I knew that those feelings would wash away the anger, and leave me feeling like the biggest asshole in the world, that's why I avoided being violent. I always wish, after the fact, that I could feel that regret and guilt first, and then maybe I wouldn't have hit him in the first place.
Vincenzo looked at me from the ground like a puppy dog that I just unceremoniously kicked hard in the head, "You can keep having your therapy," I spat.
Now I feel better.
"Thanks," he hissed and clenched his jaw as Martin helped him up. "I'm sorry for pushing you down the stairs that time, and meddling with your relationship in the first place. You won't ever hear from or see me again, I changed my number and no one else knows where I live. I won't attempt to reach out to Danny again either."
"Alright," I ran my hands through my hair and tried to regain my composure.
"You good, Ashton?" Sam asked me.
"I'm madder than a pack o' wild dogs on a three legged cat," I sighed.
"Is that bad?" Martin asked.
"I think so," Sam said. Damn city people.
"Whatever, what was it you told me about a video? Is it on the phone he gave me?" I asked Sam.
"No, I have that. I just felt this should be done chronologically," Sam pulled out his phone and fiddled with it until he found what he was looking for.
A surveillance video showed Danny laying down in his bed looking a bit sick. Ten seconds in, my birth mother walked into the room arrogantly.
""Attorney General,"" his voice was extremely hoarse as he spoke making me want to jump into the screen and get him some water, or at least some ice chips. ""Are you here to finish me by off? I already did what you told me to do. You win.""
""I didn't think it would give you a heart attack,"" she crossed her arms. ""I had to read the reports to believe it.""
""Wasn't this your intention?""
""Not at all.""
""Well, my parents didn't do this to me. If you've seen my records, then you know that I am chronically ill, so leave them alone. If you haven't come to finish me off, then did you come to admire your handiwork?"" He snapped at her with as much venom as he could. I've never heard him sound so hateful towards anyone.
Not even Vincenzo.
""I would've never guessed you were this weak,"" she gave him a judgemental once over as if she was anything to look at. ""I'm sure you know how I wasn't there for Ashton as he grew up. But I got constant updates from my husbands dreadful brother Chip. Ashton is exactly like me. He grew up being pampered by everyone around him and always got what he wanted, just like me. But there came a time when he came quiet and stubborn. He never gave thought to what I'm building for him and there's always someone cleaning his messes.
""But it's just the way he is. He develop a sense of justice. I remember when he was ten, and some guy was harassing his neighbors daughter. After Ashton found out, he went to pick a fight with him. It was quite a sight, seeing a ten year old confront a thirty year old man. To be safe, he brought a machete with him, no one told him to do any of that. I could've stopped him, but he's different than me in that way. He doesn't care what others think about him. He has his own ideas and won't listen to anybody.
""I watched him grow up, and I worry non stop B that he'll cause irreparable damage to the reputation because of his recklessness and impulsiveness. He's more daring than the average person. He stabbed a grown man when he was ten, he took his grandfathers guns and went shooting, he jumped off a second floor for a stupid bet. You've got him so obsessed that he'll one day hurt himself for you. This is how my son is, sooner or later, he'll destroy himself or others if he can't get what he wants.
""After telling you this, I'm sure you understand that means it's impossible for you to be accepted in this family. I don't even care about your silly dream of IVF. I'd never support those test tube nightmares.""
""You make it sound like you did this for Ashton. But you're only talking about someone you see from afar, because that isn't Ashton,"" Danny weakly defended me.
""Well it doesn't matter now,"" she grabbed her bag. ""I wish you the best recovery and I'll pass your information onto that artist.""
What the fuck?!
""Don't do that,"" he snapped at her.
""You don't have to be afraid, if he really likes you as much as he claims, you should be glad. Although he's often rough with his play things, you can be immortalized in that art you like so much, and you can receive a similar level of protection,"" she stepped closer to him and breathed her rancid breath in his face. He must be suffocating from her perfume. ""If you cause any more trouble for my son, I won't let you off.""
""Don't pass my information to that guy."" Danny snapped at her again.
""Fine,"" she left the hospital room quickly but not as usual. She was walking anxiously, which means nothing had gone as she had planned. Right after the door had slammed shut, Danny curled up into a ball and started to cry into his pillow. It was a gut wrenching, heartbroken cry that moved people to tears.
After a few seconds I paused the video because I couldn't bear to hear it and not be there. I wanted nothing more than to be there comforting him and helping him recover and I wasn't. His health is deteriorating and I'm just watching it happen.
My birth mom had triggered all the years of suppressed anger and frustration to start flowing up from my feet. She's a greedy, selfish, bitch who loves her money and friends more than her own family. She can blow thousands of dollars on a pair of actors to ruin Danny's life and my relationship with him, but she couldn't be bothered to spend a cent on anything I had wanted growing up, most of which was free. She never cared about me, when I had met her in person during middle school, she tried to force me into changing into someone more like her. When I refused, she tried to send me to a military school.
I owe her zero mercy at this point.
"So what do you want to do about this, Ashton?" Sam asked me.
"I'm going to destroy her," I vowed loud enough for them to hear. I tossed the phone Vincenzo handed me to Sam. "Your mom knows all the important journalists that can push stories out there to a national level. Give the recording and video to them and ask them to spread it around as much as possible after you make a copy. I want everyone talking about her corruption and the things she handles herself on the job. Remember to give your mom full context."
"Isn't she famous because she can't be corrupted or something?" Martin asked. "This would ruin her career right?"
"You're damn right," I confirmed what he was thinking. "I'm going to end her career and make sure she can't work in law again. People like her don't deserve to have that kind of power."
"That's probably the best course of action," Sam said. "She'll do it right away if it's to take someone with a good reputation down."
"Tell her to go full smear campaign, I'll cover all the legal fees if anyone gets sued. My dad will provide the best lawyers to whoever needs it," I assured him.
"Fine, let's go now," Sam said. "I'll drop you off at the hospital."
"Thanks," I gave him a smile feeling the same disgusting feelings creep back up. After I see that my Lovebug is alright....I might really kill my birth mother. I'll make her know what it's like to suffer like Danny did. Turning my attention to Vincenzo, I started to feel sour again. "Keep your promise and don't let me see you again."
"And if you do see me?" He couldn't help himself, could he?
"I'll use all my power and influence to remove you." I said sternly. "It'll only take one phone call because there's no need for someone like me to touch filth."