Katy Belle-Devereux stared back at me from across the my kitchen table as I set her mug of coffee down. To my surprise, she wasn't as hostile as she was last time we had an encounter, in fact it felt as if she suffered something and humbled herself. Still I couldn't let my guard down as Ashton had already warned me about her. But for her to show up at my house, in the middle of the day, unannounced and smelling of alcohol made me think something else was going on.
Did Ashton know she was here?
"Um, Katy, right?" I asked to break the tension.
"This coffee tastes like crap."
"It's instant coffee and most people would say thank you after receiving a kindness," I immediately dropped all my intentions to be nice to her in any way. Her attitude was atrocious through and through.
"I would've thought you crushed your own coffee beans," Katy critiqued. "But I guess you're not as much of a commoner as I thought you were. This house is at least clean."
"What the fuck did you want to talk about?" I snapped at her rudeness.
"Did I make you uncomfortable? I know I just dropped by out of the blue."
"Why do you know where I live?"
"Money."
"Why did you come here to see me?" I just wanted her to get this over with and leave my kitchen. "We've once met one other time and that was extremely unpleasant, so what business do you have with me?"
"Do you consider yourself unlucky, Daniel?"
"Who told you that?"
"No one, but I can't help but be a little jealous of you," Katy sighed. What the fuck was she talking about? What's going on here? "Ashton talks about only you nonstop because he worries about you so much. No one's ever looked after me like that, so it fascinates me and makes me a bit jealous. But, hey, is it all just an act?"
"Excuse me?" I looked at her face for a hint of a joke but saw that she was completely serious.
"I honestly just can't believe any of it. How can anyone be this poor, unlucky and sick...and why is it just you, not your parents. Auntie Amanda swears you and Ashton are in love, but who knows how you really feel. You don't love him as much as he loves you, right? To keep him around, you're at least making the sick part up, right? Oh, also-"
"Shut up," I sighed snatching back the mug of coffee from her hands and drinking it myself. For a second, she started to resemble Vincenzo, as he would often question if I was acting sick for attention, even though he saw me sick for himself on multiple occasions. Why would I make up such things that just limit the amount of things I can do. "I can't help you or your crush on Ashton."
"What?!" She gasped.
"Apparently, you like Ashton but you don't like how he wants to take care of me. So you're trying anything to see if my feelings for him is real. Even though you can obviously look up my medical records with the money you have, you found out where I lived and came to interrogate me instead. You came into my fathers home and flat out disrespected me and the hard work he does to keep me healthy. What the hell are you even thinking as you say all that shit to me?"
"What do you mean-"
"Don't play stupid and don't insult my intelligence. You can't fool anyone with that fake concern or that fake smile," I rolled my eyes. "I don't give a shit about you having a crush on Ashton or not, but you better watch your fucking mouth around me. In fact, just stay away from me."
"You....you don't even know how unfair life has been to me. How can someone who got the short end of the stick in everything, be positive and have such a powerhouse on their side? How come you can make Ashton smile more than anyone else if he's not just laughing at your situation?" Katy frowned. "You have everything I wanted, but could never have."
"Bullshit! Being jealous of me doesn't justify your disrespect, especially in my father's fucking house. Don't just judge others by what you see on the outside and take your frustrations out on them. You're only making a fool of yourself when you do that. Not just that, I now think you're crazy."
"Crazy?!"
"Yeah! When people who don't like you suddenly know where you live and barge into your home to insult you, you begin to think that person has a lot of loose screws! Do you think normal people seriously do the things you do!" I vented. "And another thing, my social class hasn't held me back from anything! While we might not have as much money as you, we're living a great fulfilling life!"
"Isn't that just a lie poor people tell themselves?" I resisted the urge to launch myself across the table and finally strike a woman for the first time in my life.
"You should go home and shave your chin better because that five o'clock shadow is peaking through your foundation. I thought you would be able to take care of that, since you're so rich." I crossed my arms and stared at her offended face.
"How dare you?!"
"Get out of my house."
I stood up ready to walk back to my room but Katy had managed to grab the back of my shirt and fling me backwards onto the floor. The coffee spilled all over my torso but luckily it wasn't as hot as I was afraid of. "Who said I was done talking to you? I have a lot more to say to you, so why don't we just sit down and talk it out?"
The bitch was almost as strong as Vincenzo. I thought she was only attacking me because she was jealous of Ashton and I, but this clearly wasn't jealousy at work here! I think she's doing this out of spite just because she can. Why's she smiling at me like she did nothing wrong?
Ah! That familiar sensation of fear was rising up in me again. "Fuck..."
"What's with that look on your face? I'm just asking to talk."
"You aren't going to listen to what I have to say anyway! I don't know what you want from me," I hissed at her. "It's obvious that you hate me but why go this far?"
"Is it that obvious? I made sure to smile so I don't seem malicious," Katy kneeled down to look at my face a lot closer. "You make it so disgustingly obvious that you're scared of me right now, even when you try to act like a stupid tough guy. I just can't stand it."
"Doing this won't help you."
"You.....why is it you? I want to be acknowledged by everyone. I want to be loved by someone that much. Who wouldn't imagine themselves taking your place for good?" Katy explained. "I'm so sure that I can act like a better friend and be a better healthier version of you. But, why is Ashton being so protective of such an ordinary and useless person like you? I think you're unlucky and lower than garbage, so why do you get to have what I want? I'm the unlucky one who was almost abandoned by her parents! I have to work twice as hard for a little bit of recognition! Why are you so much happier than I am? All I ever wanted was a little bit of love. So if a piece of trash like you is unlucky, then what does that make me? What do I need to do to be loved, when someone like you can be loved without even trying?"
"You're sad about not being loved, but that's no excuse to do what you're doing. It's no reason for you to be treating me like this either. Ashton isn't with me because I'm unlucky or because he feels bad for me. Conditional shit like that doesn't last in the long run," I tried one last time to be civil. "Expecting things from people only creates disappointment because no one is born entitled to anything. That's why you should just find someone who can be a real friend to you, not someone who can't really ever love you for real. I don't know you very well, but everyone is capable of changing themselves so they can attract what they want, and I know how childhood trauma can fuck with you-"
I stopped talking when she roughly banged her head against a wall casing her forehead to split open and bleed a bit. "Getting pitied by trash like you is what I hate the most. Who said I wanted to change as well? I told you, I imagine what it would be like to take your place. It's a shame that Ashton has started to hate me." She reached for the mug and placed it back in my hand. "I think I still have a great chance of getting rid of you."
"What do you-"
"Dan?" I heard my dads voice fill the room. I turned to see him in his work clothes observing a scene I was starting to realize looked really bad. To a passerby, it looked as though I had attacked Katy and made her bleed from her head.
"I'm sorry, Daniel," Katy was suddenly overcome by tears. "I just wanted to apologize for being rude. I'll stay out your way....I just was worried about my cousin-"
"Hey! There's things people do and don't do," my dad walked over to us and forcefully yanked Katy to her feet by her arm. "Are you trying to make me into some kind of joke? In my fucking house?! I've already heard about your split personality from your aunt and uncle! Even if I hadn't, do you really think that I'd believe my only son hit a girl for any reason!? Danny hates someone, so he hit them with a coffee mug?! A girl?! My son would never put his hands on a female!"
Katy looked absolutely gobsmacked at my fathers words. "Call the police dad, she just barged into the house anyway. I told her to leave but she shoved me down and the hot coffee spilled on me."
"Hot coffee?! Are you burned?!" Dad let go of Katy and rushed over to check me out. When he saw that a part of my stomach was slightly red from the heat, his face contorted into something scary. "This is assault! I'm calling the police."
"If you do that-"
"You shouldn't have assaulted my son then," my dad pulled out his cellphone and dialed 911. Katy suddenly stopped crying and made a move for the door, but dad being quicker than this grabbed her arm and held her in place. "Yes, Hello, is Officer Wesley there? Yeah, this is Michael Cunningham. Yeah send him over, some lady broke into my home and assaulted my son. She's still here, I've got her by the arm. Yeah, the door's open just tell him to come in."
Katy looked at me with pleading eyes but I quickly looked away from her. She wanted my Ashton to herself and there was no way that was going to happen in a million years. It was so bad that she actually tried to stage a coo inside my house to turn my dad against me. To be honest, my dad looks so pissed that her stupid plan might work just because she's related to Ashton.
But this was also my chance to get rid of her, right? I should just take it and get rid of her, or else she'll just do it again! I've already learned my lesson on giving people like this second chances anyway, so doing this won't hurt.
"No! Ok, I'm sorry, Daniel!" Katy broke down into hysterics once again. "Please, I won't do anything to you! I was wrong!"
I thought back to the promise I had made Ashton not to forgive her. I really thought that back then, if I had received an apology, genuine or not, I'd accept it because I'm a bit of pushover and I didn't want to make waves in Ashton's family. But knowing that her motive was to have Ashton, I genuinely couldn't forgive her.
"Yeah, you were wrong," I told her. People like this truly aren't deserving of mercy and I could now see how I pissed Ashton off by my making excuses for Vincenzo. "You should've just apologized, even if you didn't mean it. I was going to lie for you and make it sound like you really meant it for Ashton's parents. But you really changed my mind for me."
"I just-"
"I don't care about your incestuous crush on Ashton. You crossed the line, so face the consequences," I said. My dad and I kept our eyes on a sobbing Katy for the next seven minutes. Officer Wesley, a haggard looking man who dad knew from his delinquency days, took a statement from me about what happened before taking Katy away in his squad car. Apparently dad had insisted on pressing charges on her causing her to kick and scream like a lunatic and she accidentally slapped Officer Wesley.
That'll teach her!
"I'll handle the rest of this, Dan," Dad insisted. "She's lucky I didn't call the guys at the club."
"It's good that you didn't. We're finally off the police radar. You don't know how much I want to just stay off it now," I sighed. The last time my dad wanted to handle things on his own was when a teacher kept making me participate in gym class despite knowing my weak constitution. After I had told my dad, Uncle Mickey and his crew, which was about twenty Hells Angels, banded together to harass him relentlessly.
Systemically, Uncle Mickey turned the guys life upside down by having his crew loitering at the front of the teachers restaurant he owned, driving away business. They'd go out of their way to have a motorcycle pass his house every hour on the hour. He was shaken down at least once a day, twice if Mickey was bored during the time. The teacher stopped forcing me to participate in class after about two days of this but Uncle Mickey said he wasn't off the hook until I got better.
Vincenzo was starting to stress me out back then, so he was left with no choice but to transfer to a different school district. Unfortunately, the teacher had reported the harassment to the police and we had to deal with the police and their wire taps for the next four years because of our connection to Uncle Mickey and my dads status as a Hells Angel himself. It almost got my dad thrown in prison for a lot that they were able to dig up. That's when Uncle Mickey stepped up and took the blame for everything they had found on my dad including his role in the harassment so we could stay together.
It sucked, but Uncle Mickey went to prison.
I can only imagine how Uncle Mickey would react if he heard about me having competition for Ashton with this girl. "It's good not to call Uncle Mickey because of a girl."
"I guess you have a point. He can be a bit overzealous."
"You harassed that teacher as well, dad."
"All I did was stand outside the restaurant with my friends and my bike," dad said. "I miss that bike, you know I built that one myself. It sucks that it went to that nerdy motorcycle wannabe. He couldn't even sit on the bike properly."
"Once I start making money tattooing, I'll buy you a new one," I offered.
"You're too good of a kid, you know that," dad smiled and ruffled my hair. "Honestly, your mother already did that. I just keep it at her house because I can't go to work on it."
"Oh," I pouted. My uncomfortable feelings towards my mother had vanished a bit ago, but I couldn't help but feel like she just beat me at something. "Ok then."
"Don't be like that, you're still number one to your dad," he pinched my cheek. "How's the tattooing going so far? Ready to put a few on me?"
"Give me at least another week or two. I've been practicing nonstop and I'm getting pretty good at the simple things, just let me get the shading down," I slapped his hand away from my face and head to my room.
I picked up my phone and texted Ashton to ask him to come over, and, like every other time I called him, he wasn't far away at all. It was kind of strange that he lived about fifteen minutes away by car but always seemed to be less than five minutes away from me. Knowing him, he probably has a spare house close to here that I had no idea about, or maybe he just drove around until I called him.
No way he would do that.
Ashton burst into my room a good three minutes after I had texted him and immediately went to look under my shirt. "Dad must've briefed you on what happened."
"He just said that Katy attacked you, and you got burned. Are you ok, Lovebug? Does it hurt?" Ashton gentle touched around the burnt area.
"It wasn't that bad, I'm fine. It doesn't even hurt," I slapped the burn mark a few times feeling lucky that our coffee machine was so shit that it couldn't make piping hot coffee.
"Ok, don't hit it and irritate it more," Ashton grabbed my hands. "Tell me what happened."
I told Ashton what happened from the moment Katy walked into the door until now. "The bitch was so sure that my dad would automatically be on her side because she was bleeding. You know I almost hit her, right? She should already know that you're mine after how she saw us! The nerve of that bitch to come into my home with that kind of shameless audacity!"
"You're not mad about getting burned?"
"Fuck that! It doesn't even hurt! I got that bitch arrested because she said she was going to replace me!" I snapped. Ashton turned red and started to giggle. "What's your problem?"
"You got jealous over her?"
I could feel my face heating up from the embarrassment. "I-I wasn't jealous! I just didn't like what she was saying to me!"
"Ah, my Lovebug is jealous!" Ashton looked like he was really eating this up as he smiled stupidly. "I'd never love my cousin like that."
"I know that, because you're already mine!"
"Well, it's actually because incest isn't my thing," Ashton said. "But you're right too."
"Shut up!"
"You always speak your mind babe, I'm happy that you got jealous! I love you too," Ashton leaned in and kissed me. I looked at the small rose tattoo I had put on Ashton's forearm and saw that it had healed very nicely.
My mark was on him permanently, so I guess there was no harm. "Not jealous, just annoyed."
"Same difference," Ashton said. "I'm cutting her and her family off for good. If you want to press charges then go ahead, I'll get you the best lawyer."
"Fuck that, I'm not going to court," I said. "Just let the officers do as they please. It's on record anyway."
"It's ok to be jealous, I often get jealous of you and Sam," Ashton said. "I know he's straight but sometimes you two look too close to each other. Especially lately."
"He's been interested in how the tattoos are going," I explained. "Plus Sam isn't gay."
"Does that matter? You're so comfortable around another man that I can't help but think those things," Ashton poured. "He has the same qualifications as I do, so I can't help but think you might fall for him."
"That's ridiculous. Didn't I say I love you? I even left my permanent mark on you, right?" I hissed at him.
Ashton suddenly looked very eager. "Then I request that you don't do a rose on anyone else but me!"
Flowers were probably the easiest thing to draw next to skulls for me, but sacrificing roses from my work wouldn't cause a big problem. I guess it was a somewhat reasonable request to make Ashton feel as though he was truly number one. "Fine, as long as it doesn't hold me back from learning."
"I'm happy, now let's take care of your burn Lovebug."
"Don't be stupid, there's nothing to take care of. It's not worth getting angry over something so small."
"Seriously?"
"Yes. I know that you worry about me a lot, and that makes me super happy, but it's just a superficial burn. Everything is finished with Katy and my dad is handling the aftermath, so it's all good."
"It's not all good! It's not ok in anyway! She hurt you and I can never forgive her for that!"
"It doesn't-"
"It does matter! Why are you like this? You're so quick to try to forgive and you never end up looking after yourself....." Ashton sighed in frustration and took a deep breath. "I get the impression that you have no survival skills. You'd readily give your life up to save someone else, and that's not normal."
How annoying. I laid back on bed and pointed to my first aid kit that was on my dresser. Ashton retrieved it and when he found the burn cream, he applied it onto my stomach as gently as he could. "Happy now?"
"Part of me is happy that you're letting me take care of you, I can't deny that. The other part of me is pissed that you don't seem to cherish your body as much as I do."
"I care about my body, Ash. The burn just isn't that big of a deal. The redness will be gone by tomorrow, the coffee wasn't even that hot-"
"It was still enough to burn you."
"So I got her arrested and you're cutting her off. There's nothing else to stress over is there? If you're that worried, just be with me more. It's not like I would mind being with you more." Ashton lay down next to me and stayed silent. "You should believe me when I say I'm fine."
"Respectfully, every time you say that, it's always revealed later that you're suppressing your own feelings or you're about to have a panic attack. That's why I worry when you say you're alright. I can't help it these days," Ashton told me. "Just in case it gets worse, can I sleep over tonight?"
"Sure, whatever," I agreed listening to his concerns and decided not to fight them. As much as I wanted to fight him on this, he was absolutely right about me. "She can't get me anymore, right?"
"No, as soon as your dad tells my dad, they'll lose our support entirely," Ashton said. "By tomorrow really. It'll probably hit the fan by mid Sunday."
"We have to go to Sam's house tomorrow," I reminded him. "Help me pick something out."
"I bought you an outfit, if you don't mind."
"Don't be a perv."
"It's just a suit. You liked the one Marlon Brando wore in the godfather, so I got it for you."
"A suit for dinner?"
"Well, his dad turned it into some kind of dinner party. Looks like he's trying to flaunt a powerful new connection. There's going to be a lot of people there, including my parents. It's a really tacky move I have to say," Ashton said. "Usually my parents and I don't show up to these things, so it's a huge deal. Very important people are going to show up."
"Why're they going this time?" I asked.
"Because you and I wanted to go. Just stick with me, I'll try to navigate us through boring conversation so we can just enjoy Sam's house. You'll also probably meet some really stuck up people."
"How stuck up?"
"Think Minnie Thompson, but ten times worse," Ashton said. "It's all super troublesome if you think about it. Everyone will be acting as if they're better than each other but will kiss the ass of the person who will generate the most profit. But I have to get used to that crap for the future when I have to go to shit."
"I have a suit, you know. It's for a funeral but it's still in good condition.....that is....if the moths haven't gotten to it."
"Lovebug, the suit won't be good enough."
"You haven't even seen it!"
"Trust me on this please, if you don't look the part people will say I don't take care of you, so why would I take care of business with them," Ashton explained. "It's nothing against you, but in these circles, appearance is everything. It's annoying, but it's what has to happen for you to continue making profits. Please baby."
Rich people only cared about how you look, huh? "That's offensive....but I understand it. After all that suit wasn't that expensive as it's homemade. How much is this suit you got me?"
"It's a wool navy blue three piece suit, with a suit jacket that has the same cran Necker lapels, matching waist coat, and white long point collared dress shirt with matching pocket square. The outfit is finished with a crimson red paisley silk neck tie-"
"Aye! I said how much!" I snapped at him.
"$4,500. It only cost so little because you have small measurements. And they gave me a discount because I bought in bulk."
"So little!?" I could feel my stomach turn from the absurd amount that Ashton had spent on one suit. "Wait...in bulk? Why did you buy multiple suits?"
"You'll need some for the future," Ashton let his voice trail off guiltily. Holy fuck, this guy must already have our lives planned out. "Don't be mad. I just got in the store and thought I should pick out some things for your wardrobe."
"Shut up," I groaned I'm frustration. This guy was genuinely just trying to make me seriously happy and show me he's looking towards the future. It was going to drive me insane....because I really really loved it when he did things like this. "I'm not mad, you're just....I don't know the right word. It's not cute, but I still like it too much."
"There's no such thing as too much for you Lovebug."
"Ugh, barf." I'm pretty sure I was going to need a limb amputated from the diabetes I was getting.
A knock sounded at my door followed by my dad walking in to look at us. "I saw the teeth marks on you, so keep this door open and you keep your hands to yourself."
"Yessir," I covered my face in embarrassment! My dad lifted my shirt to see my burn from the coffee! How could I forget about the marks Ashton had left on me? Oh god, I'm such an idiot!
Dad shot a glare at Ashton as he left my room causing Ashton to look away. "It's ok, it's not like he didn't know I was going to have sex."
"Did you see how he looked at me?" Ashton started to shake me a bit. "I just got back in his good graces. What am I going to do now?"
"Nothing you can do now, he's got in firmly in his head that you're a deviant," I sighed at Ashton's ridiculous worry. "Calm down, besides I have questions for you."
"Like?"
"Why'd you move from Georgia?" I asked him. It was a question that I had been sitting on for a time ever since I found out exactly where he was from. And I couldn't help but be curious about why they moved so far from home.
"Well..." Ashton suddenly looked extremely troubled as he thought back. In fact, it had been a while since I saw him look this troubled. "Ok, back then, I wasn't very popular....at all. I was just a farmer to most of the kids I went to school with. On top of that, I was bigger and stronger than all the other kids even back then.
"Anyway, there was this girl who was nice to me, regardless of everyone else, so I asked her if she wanted to be friends with me. I remember after I had asked her she looked at me like an idiot, so I realized I had made a huge mistake. And when I looked into her eyes, all I could see was disgust and pity being reflected back at me. Everything became really clear to me in that moment.
"She told me that....actually, I remember her exact words. It was 'I don't hang out with ogres. I was only trying to be nice because it would look bad on our class if you killed yourself. This is why I should stop being nice to losers like you. You lot always misunderstand, what were you expecting from me?' And she said it in front of her friends, so naturally everyone knew by the end of the day."
"What a bitch!" I gasped. This must've been the source of Ashton's insecurities.
"We were in middle school, and i shouldn't have forgotten that I was nothing more than some pathetic loser who just happened to be a classmate. The next day was awful at school, so I locked myself in my room, refused to eat and just cried for a week. I don't think I'd ever been that depressed or sad, even when I was being harassed or bullied. In my head, I was convinced that I was mistaken that it was ok to be brave. I realized that I was dumb for thinking she might look at me as a friend. I thought if only I hadn't made such a big mistake then I wouldn't be in this situation. I couldn't do anything but curse them all until I ran out of tears. But above all, the saddest thing was the fact that I accepted being that ogre everyone called me."
"Why would they even call you that?!" I huffed. "How could they be so seriously blind?"
"It's my face. I've always looked scary even as a kid."
"You're not scary looking!" I snapped at him. I couldn't help but imagine a child version of Ashton. He may have been extremely lonely, but he must've been a beautiful person then too, just like he is now.
"It's ok, I've been to vigorous therapy for this and not being there helps me as well."
"Still, I think your face is incredibly handsome. Believe me, your resting bitch face is the sexiest face I've ever seen and your smiling face is even better! Not to mention your O-face is out of this world."
"What's an O-face?" Ashton asked. Shit I may have said to much.
"The face you have when you're overjoyed," I lied. Lucky for me, Ashton ate it up without question. "A- anyway, you're hot in a dangerous looking way. Like 'he might kill me, but it's ok because he's sexy' kind of hot."
"You can't say things like that, it's too racy," Ashton groaned.
"What was racy about it? I think you're sexy and I love the intensity of your face, Ashton," I watched him blush a bit deeper. "I do have a thing for scary looking guys to be honest. Something about it is always so intriguing to me."
"I've always hated my face."
"I love it."
"Well, do you like Sam's face? He kind of looks like a delinquent as well."
"Sam's a handsome guy but I don't think he looks like a delinquent. And what's Sam got to do with any of this?"
Ashton turned his head away. "I know he's straight, but are you sure he's not trying anything with you? Or that he's not attracted to you like that?"
"Well, he does flirt a lot, but I don't think it's something he's even aware of. And regardless of what he said, the fact that I have a penis will change his mind. You can't change a straight guy, Ashton," I assured him. "We just get along well."
"I know, Lovebug. I can't help but think he wants you sometimes for real. Sometimes it looks like he's undressing you with his eyes. It just doesn't seem like he's joking sometimes."
"Oh, I'll tell him to stop making fun of you like that, Ashton. He likes to push your buttons because you always react even though he straight," I explained. "Besides, I have questions. My dad told me rich people have these kind of parties so they can have big orgys. Is that true?"
I knew it wasn't but it still cracked me up watching Ashton's face twist up in shock. It was fun to make fun of him. It was too cute.
"Are you scared of anything at the party? Or anything about that world that might make you uncomfortable?" Ashton asked me seriously.
"Uncomfortable?"
"Well, when I try to give you things or offer to get you things, I notice that you look uncomfortable. If it's a meal or a gift, you just look uncomfortable with it sometimes. I know I don't make you feel that way, so is it the way I'm spending? Or does the social class aspect make you uncomfortable?"
Was I doing that? "Um, it just takes some getting used to, Ashton. I'm not uncomfortable or anything, I just forget what you can do sometimes so I keep getting surprised. But I try to remember that we grew up very different and cheap to you, isn't a few dollars, it's a few thousand dollars. I don't think I can even comprehend what you think is expensive."
"I want to buy you things and see you be happy about it!" Ashton pouted.
"I am happy though. But you don't have to buy me things to keep me happy, look at my room, it's covered in six different types of flowers. I'm wearing the ring everyday and the necklace you gave me too. I like your gifts."
"Hm, everyone else always talks about giving gifts."
"Listen up, I know how much effort you put into getting me the best possible gift, and every time I see what you gave me, I'm reminded of the sweet things you said and the look on your face when you gave me the gift. It just makes me feel that we were meant to meet each other and how every second has been worth it. But I think of you as the best gift, because you make all my moments happier than the last."
"Well, I guess that's alright," Ashton sighed in frustration. "Sorry, I just don't want to have you feel like this is the obsession like you had to deal with before, but I love you a lot, so maybe I can't guarantee it. I'm just holding back because I got insecure about it."
This wouldn't be the first time Ashton got insecure and overprotective. Even a small cut or a few tears had him acting like I was on deaths door. Him overthinking this situation....I don't hAte it whatsoever. It feels really good, almost unreal, to know how much he cares about me, and I could understand why he would be so worried.
If I ever warned him that it was too much, he would try his best to fix it. But I never imagined that he would be afraid of something like that. He and Vincenzo could not be more different, but he's still terrified of having any similarities to him.
I feel so lucky, but now I'm worried that his fears will make him suppress his rational emotions.
"Don't worry about-" I was cut off by a knock on my window. Ashton looked at me questioning who that could be but I just shrugged. I opened my curtains to see Giacomo standing there smiling and waving in the pouring rain. Quickly I opened my window and let him climb inside. "Giacomo! What happened to you?"
"I hurried home when it started to rain, but then I realized that I had left my key in a different pair of pants, and then my phone died, so I just came here," Giacomo explained as I threw a towel over his head and started to dry him off.
"You're so careless! What if you had gotten sick? The wether report even said it would rain," I scolded him as I made sure to get the back of his ears.
"Danny, who's that?" Giacomo pointed at Ashton. "I've never seen him before."
"He's Ashton. Ashton, this is Giacomo, Vincenzo's little brother," I said quickly before running to my dad's room to grab some clothes while letting him know that Giacomo had come over. When I came back into my room, Ashton had taken Giacomo's wet jacket and was hanging it up. "Go change, Jack. Then tell me what's up."
"Ok," he sighed before walking from my room into the bathroom across the hall.
"That's a heavy accent," Ashton commented.
"He lived in Italy for most of his life and he's still on a break from school so he's here in America. He's a good boy," I told Ashton.
"Does he usually sneak through the window?" Ashton asked.
"Only when he's being annoyed at home, or when bad things happen," I said just as Giacomo reentered my room. "Is something happening at home?"
"Well, they're finally all going to therapy, but Vincenzo and dad can't even be in the same room without taking all the air of of it. My dad's not making much of an effort and he keeps saying mean stuff to Vincenzo. Mom is finally standing up for him but that just makes my dad act like we're all ganging up on him! All we're asking him to do is treat my brother like a human being! He just won't accept that he's the reason that things keep falling apart for Vincenzo!" Giacomo ranted. "I mean, the only change is that dad isn't beating him up anymore! Why can't he give Vincenzo a chance now?"
"Is that why you went walking around in the first place?" I asked.
"Yeah! I told my dad that at least Vincenzo is trying to change himself like he wanted him to! Why the hell is he trying to sabotage all that by calling Vincenzo a disappointment right after he makes a breakthrough?! It's so clear that he doesn't want Vincenzo to get better! And Vincenzo just keeps forgiving him for that and it keeps building up! I can't take it anymore! It's so fucking uncomfortable! I don't know why he's like this?" Giacomo put his head in his hands. "My dad is so damn toxic!"
I instinctively looked to Ashton, as he was the one I was sure could understand what was going on. He awkwardly patted Giacomo's shoulder and got him to look up. "Abusive parents don't tend to change; they just get older and the risk of psychological, if not physical, abuse remains. I would tread very carefully. The other thing to remember is that you don't have to forgive – I personally think forgiveness is overrated. And you can't let go of resentment as if it were a balloon; it takes a lot of work. Just feel what you're feeling and make your own plans for the future."
Giacomo put his back head down in his hands. "There's no hope then."
"Not so soon. You regard being in the middle as your parents' fault, so here's where you can shatter family tradition. Take care of yourself and be willing to change, instead of just waiting for them. Specifically, stop treating them as people who want more and are open to reason when they clearly aren't. Instead, treat them as people who are choosing dysfunction by choosing toxicity, and reflect that truth back to them. When they complain, repeat as needed, gently: 'If you don't like it, then do something about it. Complaining doesn't count.' Then, excuse yourself from those conversations.
"These are simple actions toward a difficult greater picture, so focus on your own goal: not to change your parents, but to reclaim what you've lost in their crap — your rightful place as their youngest son, and your priorities. Your brother is in need of serious help, and now you know that you can't be worried about your father. All the energy you have for your family belongs with Vincenzo now."
"That....makes sense, but why should I listen to you? How do I know you don't hate my brother?" Giacomo snapped. "I know have an idea how shitty he could be! So why should I-"
"Giacomo, he's paying for Vincenzo's therapy," I said. "And Ashton is really good at giving advice. He would never do anything to make things worse."
"I just doing this for Dan, not because I care about your brother. Personally, I don't like him very much." Ashton added. "And I'm not all that concerned about him. It's better to be honest about it! I still gave him good advice regardless of how I feel."
Dammit Ashton. Sometimes you're way too honest! "What did my brother do to you?"
"Nothing much, just a few words," Ashton said.
"Then tell my why Vincenzo keeps forgiving my father for his crap?"
"It's probably the only way he can cope with things or he's accepted that his dad probably will never change. And he already has you and your mother and that should be all he needs along with the therapy provided. Your brother will be fine, just trust the process."
"The process is tearing apart my family!"
"But your dad is the one not changing while everyone else is. It's times like these when stubbornness gets you left behind while everyone moves forward."
Giacomo stayed silent for a bit longer this time to think. "If....if Vincenzo wasn't around, would it be me that got treated like that? Or what happens when Vincenzo leaves? Is my dad going to turn on me?"
"Don't think about that. The only thing that matters is helping your brother and yourself."
"Your face doesn't match your personality," Giacomo sighed. Ashton suddenly looked very annoyed. "You look super scary but you actually seem like a good person. It's pretty mind blowing."
"I try," Ashton looked as though he was struggling to keep a neutral face.
"Well, my mom is trying to be better, so....thanks for helping us. Oh, and I'm straight, so you don't have to worry about me coming onto Danny." Giacomo teased.
"I wasn't. You're just a child."
"I'm 15! I'm not a child!"
"Then why are you acting like one?"
"Vaffanculo!"
"What'd he say to me, Dan?!" Ashton snapped back at Giacomo.
"Giacomo, don't curse at my boyfriend, he was only trying to help," I sighed. "Ashton, don't argue with Giacomo, he's younger than you and he likes to tease people."
In response to my scolding, Giacomo stuck his tongue out at Vincenzo and flipped him with both hands off before running out of my room to where my dad was. Ashton clenched his fists a few times before exhaling and laying back down on my bed.
"He's lucky your bed is comfortable that I don't want to get up. Stupid kid," Ashton pouted reaching his arms out towards me. I decided that I might as well humour him because he did give Giacomo some solid advice, and laid down slightly on top of him.
"Thank you for helping Giacomo," I snuggled up to him intentionally getting as close as possible to calm him. "He's really a good boy, and I could tell that he likes you. He'll definitely take your advice. I knew you'd make a great therapist."
"Anything for my Lovebug."