Kylexsis POV
Bitter
My throat tasted bitter with the metallic taste of blood and vomit. My body sour and raw from the constant assaults from the college fraternal boys. I opened up my eyes slowly, stirring into complete consciousness only to be greeted by the harsh beam of golden sunlight streaming through my windows. Wincing at the blinding contact, I moved away to again be greeted by a sharp pain on my ribcage.
Hmm. Pain
It was like a mantra that physically repeated itself in every aspect of my life. It was all I felt..... everyday, every hour, every minute and every second.
Sometimes I had thought that after eight years of my life, I would be used to it by now, but in truth? I wasn't. It hurt every single time someone's fist, leg or an object connected with my skin. Each beating took a huge toll on me, destroying me physically, mentally and emotionally.
A low groan worked it's way up my sore throat as I weakly clutched my throbbing sides tightly, as if it would help take the pain away. But it didn't. It hurt. It fucking hurt and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I was short on money for any medical bills and could only manage a shabby apartment and cheap meals of ramen noodles and junk that I ate everyday of my life. I am even surprised I survived so long without support from my parents or anyone. And I was proud to say I proved them wrong, but this was giving me second thoughts.
My parents and I weren't on good terms and had thrown me out when I was eighteen. It was when I had turned fifteen and realized my sexuality did I know the true harshness of the world that I live in, and it was none other than from the hands of my family and entire highschool. Everyone hated me, everyone bullied me, everyone hurt me and broke me.
Why?
Because I am gay. Simple.
I come from a very religious family and being romantically and sexually attracted to the same sex stirred a lot of disgust, hatred and disappointment. I was lucky to have been underage by the time I had figured it out. Any older past eighteen and I would have belonged to the street. Or was I lucky? Because every moment on from that day was like living in hell on earth.
What did they not do to me except kill me. They could much have drove me to suicide, but I didn't give in to the temptation and grant them their one wish even if I really wanted to. I was so convinced of a better life when I had escaped from under the roofs of my parents. But boy was I wrong.
I was a slave at their mercy. A pet to be there at their call and carry out every demands. An object to vent all their anger on. A nobody. My father was a filthy drunk who beat me when his day went badly, along with my brother who used me as his personal dummy for martial arts practice. My mother was a witch who stood by and did nothing as they rained all anger on me, and gave me a rough piece of her side sometimes. My sister was the worst. A wolf in sheep's clothing. A devil's advocate. I wondered how they could do something to their child, the child that they used sweat and pain to raise. Or I guess they never really cared, my father just happened to be a sperm donor and my mother just happened to have a free ripened ovary for the picking.
I suffered, I starved. They only gave me food enough to keep me alive not satisfied, making me grow to a very unhealthy height of five foot seven and was very unweighted. I was never content, but I managed with what I could either way.
When my brother ratted my secrets out to the whole school I knew I was a goner. My life was never the same again. I would go to school only to be confronted by bullies that fed me insults and heartbreaking words and assaulted me multiple times. And when I got home, my family gave me a piece of their own rage.
I managed to survive after I had turned eighteen and was kicked out of the house. I tried my best to find a job to keep me fed and alive. I took a job as a tailor, IT worker at a small cyber cafe and a cook, but the money was never enough to match my idea of contentment. However, I made my way to college hoping to start anew where no one knew or cared who I was, maybe even make a few friends. But everything only worsened.
Highschool repeated itself like history, as the memories of my pain and suffering began again, but this time worse. The only person that kept me going in my life was Clarke Conners. The only friend that I felt I wasn't worthy of. He was too good and kind and I could feel myself falling for him. However he wasn't gay. He was straight and I couldn't do that to the only human that made a positive presence in my life. He didn't even seem to mind having a gay best friend.
Taking several careful breaths and swallowing up my pain I pushed myself up to my feet. It was unbearable. The pain shot through my entire torso, my body sour from the assault of last night. It was already Seven o'clock on the dot according to my alarm clock and final exams starts by nine o'clock. I needed to get up, I need to take that exam. Due to the assaults leaving me battered and weak, I had missed most of my test days. The university gave me an only option to take the exam and pass up with flying colours before granting me a certificate. I read like hell and my knowledge won't go to waste, not today.
I managed to limp towards the bathroom door, my ankles straining painfully from running three miles in other to escape the abusive hands of the fraternal group on my trail. I needed a long and hot shower, hoping it would at least be enough to free the tension on my aching muscles.
I opened the door to the small bathroom, and the sweet scent of lavender and citrus corroded my nose. At least something good greeted me every morning. I reached over to the left and flipped the light switch. Bright yellow light filled the room, squeaky clean with sparkling white tiles. I can't help that I am a clean freak.
I limped straight to the sink and stared at my reflection. My dark emerald eyes looked lifelessly back at me, lips dry, bruised and chapped, but no facial bruises. People tended to avoid scarring my face to avoid questions. My college had a very strict rule on bullying. However, I knew my torso was a different case.
Biting down on my lips I managed to peel the grey hoodie off of me and braced myself for the sight I was about to see.
My face paled even more as I took in the tattered state of my lanky torso. My sides where a painful hue of purples and blues scattered ever so clearly on my smooth pale skin. A couple of bruises decorated my lower abdomen and ribs. Fading yellows and greens surrounded the healing scars of the last encounter. I looked like a wreak.
Sometimes I wonder why me of all people. Why thing happens the way they do to me. Why I was part of the unlucky people put into this specific kind of situation.
Maybe I was just placed on this earth to suffer and to be tested on my will. Or maybe that was just how my life had been planned to be from creation.
I dared myself to touch my torso, running my slender fingers over the dark bruises. I bit my lip and shut my eyes in pain caused by the gentle caress of my fingers.
Moving away from the mirror, I turned on the shower to broad-spectrum mist and proceeded to take off the remaining clothes. The shower was indeed soothing, releasing the unbearable tension in my muscles. Tears slipped from my eyes as my spice and flowery scented body wash slid over the fresh bruises but I sucked it up knowing well enough that it was cleaning my injuries.
After the shower, I pulled on a brown coloured boxer, three pairs of thick black skinny jeans, I put on a white tank top under a black long sleeved shirt and a red T-Shirt on top. I put on a grey hoodie over it and then a black sleeveless anorak with no hood. I pulled on a thick pair of sock and my white Air force one's my best friend had got me. Yes I know, cue the question for the intense layers of clothing, Germany is pretty cold and I can't afford thick clothes for warmth so layers would have to do. I didn't necessarily like the way I looked in the layers even if I never really cared about my appearance. I didn't look like what a normal person should look like on a cold day, I looked like a marshmallow under the intense layer of clothes to keep me warm.
I grabbed my huge blue backpack, grabbed an apple from the almost empty fruit bowl in the kitchen and headed out the door. I was careful not to bump into the people on the busy streets of Maximilianstra. I didn't need anymore assault to my wounds. The morning was beautiful like always with the golden sunlight that shone beautifully on the roofs covered with snow giving it a kind of cake-like look. . . . . . . . something that actually subconsciously brought a smile to my face. I liked the nature of the world, whether it be the snow to the dense thickness of the forest. For some absurd reason it felt like home, like I could imagine myself running barefoot through the moist soil. It brought me some sense of relief. And I hated that people took nature for granted sometimes, poisoning the plants with their pollution. Something I would say a prayer for the plants, call me absurd but it is what it is.
Twenty minutes before classes started I had reached the building of the university. The doors where left open by security by 6: 30 on the dot. I walked inside, ignoring the receptionist and security guard sitting opposite each other at the desk. I did not miss the disgusted look that crossed their faces as I passed by. I ignored their existence, even if I had offered a greeting they would have wanted to ignore the only gay boy in school. How lucky I am. Note the sarcasm.
Sitting down on my usual seat at a lonely corner of my anatomy class, I opened up my bag to grab my biology textbook to have a bit of study time before the actual exam.
Five minutes passed and it was still no one but me and my biology textbook. I was so engrossed and concentrated on what I was reading to not notice the presence of another in the room. I swear my heart skipped two beats when a hand rested itself on my shoulder bringing me out of my reverie. I jumped out of the chair with a high pitched scream and landed on the floor straight on my ass. The pain instantly travelled up my waist and spine making me grind my teeth to hold the groan from escaping.
"Shit Kylexsis I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that." A very familiar voice said in slight panic. I looked up at the culprit and found that shade of ice blue hair and bright sapphire eyes staring down at me worriedly. Clarke stretched out his hand and gave me an apologetic smile." Here, let me help you up."
Gladly I accepted his offer, still holding up my silence. I winced a bit and bit at my lips in pain when Clarke rested his hand on my torso to keep me steady on my feet. A frown creased on his face as his gaze then scrutinized my face.
"Lexi, are you okay?" He asked in concern, tilting his head a bit so those blue eyes could stare straight into my lifeless greens.
I swallowed nodding meekly and pulling myself out of his gentle grasp. I couldn't look at him or else he'd read me too easily. Apparently he was the only one that could decipher " the storm in my eyes." His words not mine.
I fought the groan that wanted to escape my lips as I settled settled down stiffly on my previous seat. I wasn't in the mood to talk, my throat still felt sour and I didn't want to strain it more than I already have. I just wanted to be alone right now and drown in my shame and dejection in solitude, for all I felt was that. Pain, exhaustion and emotional damage.
I was so tired. My heart dripping with dread and humiliation, my mind full of self hate and painful thoughts, my eyes heavy with unshed tears and and my lungs full of anxiety. All I wanted to do was die. But I couldn't even kill myself. I was too much of a coward to take my own life and spare the people some trouble.
I was just a nuisance, a disgrace, a nonentity. I was born to die, born to shame. Or at least I shouldn't have been born at all.
My head was now pounding with a headache from how far I had strained both it and my body. My head began to fill with those detesting voices of the people who despised me. I tried so hard to shut it out but the drained energy made it harder to accomplish just that. I was weakened mentally and the insults flooded in again.
You are a fucking failure.
You are a fucking disgrace.
Disgusting faggot.
Useless useless useless useless useless useless useless.
No one loves you, no one cares for you, you excuse of a human being.
Nothing but a dirty piece of trash.
Just die and do the world and everyone a favour.
Stupid and worthless fag.
Just die.
Die
Die
Diediediediediediediediediediediediediediedie.
I bit my lips and shut my eyes as my breath automatically sped up. I squeezed my eyes and tried my hardest to calm my breathing and nerves spiking with the rush of adrenaline. But I couldn't. I just sat there, drifting away from reality and falling into the void of haunting memories.
I struggled to breathe as I felt every ounce of air leave my lungs. My heart clenched painfully with the need of oxygen but I couldn't will myself to take a breath. Everything hurt. My head, my body, my thoughts, my heart. Pain flooded my system like a drug and clouded my senses.
Make it stop.
I screamed in my head feeling as I dropped to the floor immobile.
God please make it stop.
Clarke's screams echoed in my brain but I could register it all, all that I could feel was the pain.
It hurt it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurt it hurt it hurts.
Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. MAKE IT STOOOOOOOP.
****************
"Kylexsis...."
"Kylexsis..."
"Kylexsis please open your eyes..."
"FUCKING OPEN YOUR EYES KYLEXSIS AND LOOK AT ME "
My eyes snapped open as I shot up from the soft surface I was on. My breath left me in hard ragged gasps. The next sensation I felt was the searing pain that enveloped my whole body. I cried out in pain holding my throbbing body.
"Hey hey hey, calm down Lexi, you're okay, it's just a dream." Clarke suddenly appeared at my blurry line of vision, his soft voice automatically relaxing me." Just breathe for me, Kylexsis, breathe."
I complied, taking in a long breath and exhaling slowly. The rapid thumping of my heart slowed down at the comforting feeling of Clarke's large hand rubbing my back in circular motions. He gave me a sweet smile, brushing away the strands of my black hair matted on my forehead." Easy boy, okay? You had it hard this time."
I nodded allowing him to wipe away the wet streaks on my cheeks I didn't know was there.
" Where... Where am I?" I asked, my voice sounding croaky and itchy looking around the unfamiliar blue walls of the bedroom I was currently in.
"My new apartment. Forgot you hadn't had the chance to see it yet." He answered reaching over his bedside table, grabbing a glass of water with two Advil pills." Here take this, it'll help with the pain."
Nodding without complaint, I gratefully took the medication. The water felt cool and soothing on my parched throat as a satisfactory moan left my chapped lips. When I was done, he took the glass from my hand and disappeared into a small corner that seemed to be the kitchen and emerged holding a bowl of steaming hot water and a rag in the other hand.
"Uh... h-how did I get here?" I asked with a frown watching him place the bowl on the bedside table beside me and soak the rag in the water.
Clarke froze for a split second in between squeezing out the water in the rag." Uh... you don't remember?"
I bit my lips looking at his frowning face and sapphire eyes." Um... not much..... I remember getting to class, you scaring me and then....uh I..... I don't know."
"Well the panic attack hit you at school and knowing well enough how to handle it I brought you here, drew you a cold bath and tucked you in." He explained concisely and swiped my forehead with the warm towel, then proceeded to wipe it down my neck to my exposed chest." You had another episode in your sleep too, I had to wake you up."
"You..... you bathed me?" I managed with a squeak, my pale cheeks heating up. Cold water helped with the attacks but I couldn't help the embarrassment at the thought of him having to wash my- cough - friend down south. It wouldn't be the first time after all but it was something that I could never get used to.
" You were shaking like a leaf and I couldn't tell if it was because of the cold or the attack." He said dumping the rag into the bowl when he had finished wiping the cold sweat off my skin." I thought it was the usual haunting memories of your past that left you too weak to even open you eyes but....." His paused, his blue eyes raking my battered body." I guess I thought wrong."
"Uh..." I bit my lips suddenly feeling small under his gaze. Compared to Clarke muscular body I was scrawny, small and lithe. Probably the most smallest guy In college." Clarke -"
"Why didn't you tell me, Lexi?" He cut me off, soft blue eyes suddenly darkening." You said the bullying stopped."
"It did...." I murmured shamelessly, dropping my gaze to the dark blue comforter." For a while."
"Lexi I expect that when something like this happens to you you give me a call." He scolded, his voice rising above its normal pitch and I knew if he was going to say anymore it would result to a yell. He looked hurt, distraught and disappointed and it was all my fault. We were the exact opposite of each other and yet through out the years we still managed to be close friends. He was the golden boy and I was the scrawny loser. He was perfect with a bright future ahead of him and he didn't need me weighing him down.
I looked away from his gaze, my heart filling with the same feeling of dread." I didn't want to be a burden to you."
"What are you even talking about? Your not-"
"I'm a sicko Clarke, I don't deserve you. I weigh you down so much and you are always too busy taking care of me to realize. You have a life and I don't want my presence to hinder you." I tried to blink back the tears in my eyes as I said all this." You shouldn't be over the heels with my well being, it's nothing."
"Are you fucking with me now Lexi?" He growled getting up from his spot on the bed. His eyes filled with rage and his thunderous tone reverberating off the blue walls. It was suddenly too loud." Just take a look at yourself. You could have died Lexi. You could have died if I wasn't there when the attack hit you. Look at your body..... Do you ever stop to think that if this assault keep repeating itself you may not survive to see the next week."
Looking down at my hands fiddling with the blue comforter , I felt my heart break for the billionth time in my life. He was right. I could have died, but that fact didn't bother me at all, in fact it felt almost natural and expected. So many possibilities, maybe it would be the best if I did, save me a lot of pain in the future, maybe I wanted it, maybe I needed it. I sniffed." Maybe..... maybe I want it."
"What... what are you talking about." Clarke asked, his tone softening instantly.
I summoned up the courage to meet his sapphire gaze." What if I want to die. And maybe... maybe this will all go away and I would be doing the world a favour when I die."
I was shocked at how the fear in his eyes instantly took over and I began to feel bad. Here I was again making him worried and weighing him down with my problems." You don't mean that, Lexi. You don't... you don't mean that. Please don't say that "
But that was the problem. I did. He just couldn't see it or wouldn't allow himself to believe it even if he saw it.
"Right." I whispered to myself drifting my gaze to the open window. The sky was already dark and the frost on the glass gave me a slight indication on how cold the atmosphere was outside. It was night and I spent my day in his apartment. I missed my exams. I missed my chance of finding something for myself. I missed my only opportunity.
Now I had no money, no future, no certificate, no studies and soon no roof to put over my head. I was trash and useless. I wanted to die, God please why don't you just kill me now and get this over with?
"You missed your final exams didn't you? You missed it for me." My eyes were still on the window as I said this.
"I..... It doesn't matter." I could hear the guilt in his tone.
Now I've had enough." Bullshit." I growled getting out of the bed angrily, ignoring the biting pain on my sides. He lost his chance at finishing college this semester because of me again. I was so sick of this bullshit.
" I've lost, Clarke. The university was the only cheap option for me at a better chance in life and I screwed that up again." I said through gritted teeth. I didn't have the income to pay for another semester, I was royally screwed and soon I would be homeless." I need to get home."
"H-home? Lexi you are too weak to go home alone. You can stay the night I can-" Clarke offered being the sweet angel he is.
"No." I interrupted him rather abruptly. That shut him up instantly." I'd rather be home, you've already done enough. Thanks....um where are my clothes?"
Clarke stood there for a while, narrowed eyes watching me carefully. He seemed to be trying to read my thoughts through my eyes but however I have an A+ in pokerfaces. He huffed finally in defeat before walking past me to a corner where my huge backpack lay. He brought it to me and grabbed my clothes from his wardrobe.
"You really don't have to go you know, you could stay the night here I'll be fine." He said crossing his arms above his chest as he watched me get in my clothes.
"Thanks, Clarke really. I appreciate all that you've done for me but I just need to be alone. I'll be fine I promise." I answered putting on my socks and shoes before grabbing my backpack. It was very heavy that I nearly stumbled, but it was something that I could manage. It contained my chemistry, physics and biology textbooks, some money, some fabric materials that I had planned to drop off today at the tailor's shop, my phone and earplugs.
"Lexi -" Clarke called as soon as I crossed the front door. I stopped and turned back to face him with a raised brow." Call me when you get to your apartment so I'll know you're alright okay? And then tomorrow I could treat you to lunch maybe?"
"Maybe." I replied. Still treating me like the helpless kid aren't you Clarke? I thought as I turned away and made my way down the hall and towards the elevator.
<---------------------------<<<<<<
The feeling of uncertainty washed over me the moment I had walked two blocks away from Clarke's apartment building. A chill ran down my spine as if in warning and the hair on my nape stood in alert. The temperature had dropped and the biting cold slipped through my clothes despite the triple layers.
I shivered, hugging my body. My breathing felt cold and puffs of cold air followed every exhale. My lips were nearly blue from the cold and I tried rubbing my arms to ignite some warmth.
Reaching the shadiest street in town I couldn't stop the shivers of fear. I had a sudden gut feeling that something was going to happen... and my gut never lies. I picked up my pace, itching to get out of the street and back to the safety of the four walls of my apartment.
The faint sound of footsteps reached my ears, followed by the sound of low breathing. Heat radiated in my body as adrenaline began to pump. I sped up my pace knowing the outcome if I didn't try to get out of there.
"Faggot." That sickening singsong voice called on out to me. I swallowed against the disgusting lump beginning to form in my throat and pushed the fluttery feeling of fear in my stomach, trying to avoid him. Although, I am pretty sure that that him would be accompanied by a them.
"Trying to escape eh?" That voice ahead of me caused me to halt in my tracks. My heart dropped to my stomach and my blood ran cold. The voice.... That voice being the sound that brought endless chills to my body. The menacing voice of Justin Levough.
He emerged from the shadows before me, his unusual bright amber gold eyes glistening under the moonlight, raven black hair swaying gracefully in the cold night breeze. I backtracked a bit, feeling the dangerous aura slipping out of him. But even if he was the literal definition of evil, I couldn't help but admit with his long curls just passing his ears, smooth pearly skin and a sharp jawline, he was beautiful." Lexi...." He whispered, dangerous eyes focused on me.
Suddenly, a heavy hand rested itself in my shoulder and tugged me back harshly. The force was too much that I stumbled backwards almost loosing my balance. Someone grabbed my bag and threw it to the side before managing to cage me successfully between all five of them, cutting off any escape.
At least I was glad it was five. The fraternity is over sixteen.
"You thought we'd let you off today, huh fag?" The blondie with blue eyes, Cameron snickered grabbing my hand and squeezing tightly. I bit my lips in pain for he happened to tighten his grip over my fresh bruises.
"We thought -" The black and blue eyed, Roan sneered fisting my hair and pulling it back harshly. I yelped, my eyes watering." We'd give you a goodbye gift, before we leave, after the final exams, of course." He said in my ear, warm breath doing nothing but sickening me.
Suddenly, someone's fist plunged into my unprotected stomach. I bent over in pain, clutching it . Hands grabbed me and shoved my body into a wall. The hard impact caused my ribs to throb as I arched my back in pain. A loud yelp escaping my lips. I felt my ribs crack and my skin slit with the strain. I was hurting all over again. And they laughed. They just laughed. He laughed.
A hard punch to my face caught me by surprise. My body collapse to the ground, the pain searing to my jaw and my eye sockets suddenly felt painful.
Then it all begun.
Blows after blows. Punch after punch. Kicks after kicks. Five pairs of legs and hands raining down on my already battered body. I couldn't stand, I couldn't talk, I couldn't cry and I couldn't move. The cries eventually stopped, my sore throat had been worked up too much and it felt like my throat could tear up. I just lay there in a fetal position, receiving every blows and kicks.
"Little kitten...." That terrorising voice made my hair stand, a cold chill spread all over my arms probably leaving a trail of precipitable goosebumps. I lay there, immobile and helpless. The voice nearer now, like he was right behind me." I'm going to miss this."
I screamed at the top of my lungs as my hair was grabbed tightly and was used to pull my entire body across the street floor like a sack of potatoes. A dead sack of potatoes. I went into full panic, struggling to pry his hand off my hair. Keyword: struggling. My scalp was on fire and the pores stung and strained. I was sure that after this, I was going to lose a lot of my thick locks.
My head banged to the point where I felt faint, dizzy and extremely hot despite the cold. But the more I struggled to get away from the sadistic freak, the more his grip tightened.
Silently praying all this to stop, silently praying that he would leave me for dead right here and now, I was dragged into a stinking alley and suddenly flung to the side. My spine made a rough impact with a dumpster, a strangled weak cry left my lips.
"Hold him up." Was Justin's harsh command.
My heart sped up for the gazillionth time as my body was roughly brought up so I could be on my knees. I winced at the tightness of their grip on my clothed wounds. I was weary, I was frightened, I was exhausted and I was in pain. Why me of all people?Why didn't I listen to Clarke and stay over?Why did I have to be so stubborn? Why? What did I commit against the universe to receive such punishment?
"Kitten....." Justin whispered, his hot breath fanning my lips. He stroked my cheek gently and I couldn't help but cringe away in disgust. He didn't seem to like my reaction and cupped both my cheeks roughly with his fingers, turning my face to meet his angry ones. A whimper escaped me as nails dug into my cheeks drawing blood." You know you are mine to hit. Mine to hurt, mine to touch hmm.....?"
I almost gagged at his sadistic words. I was nobodys and I wasn't an object people could own. I was a thinking living being with real emotions. I wanted to say this but the increase of pressure on my cheeks told me otherwise.
"That being said, I don't think I like you with that blue haired git..... Clarke Conners , huh?" His voice tightened when he mentioned his name. Amber eyes shining with mischief. Then a large knowing grin spread across his face." But I could mark you so that scumbag knows you are mine."
"What." I choked on the saliva that went the wrong way." No please, don't , please."
"Hold him up on his knees and raise his hoodie." Justin ordered grabbing the shiv that was lodged in his combat boots and squatting in front of me.
I struggled knowing what was coming next. And I begged, whimpered and cried. I tried wriggling out of their grip but it only made it worse. There was no escaping this fate. I didn't know how painful a knife's cut was, I could only imagine. And my imagination wasn't helping.
I didn't want to be marked, to be branded like some object. My dignity was all I had left, my body was all I had left and he was going to destroy that. I didn't wasn't this, they could beat me, kick me or punch me but not this. Definitely not this. My heart dropped to my stomach and I did all I could from not hyperventilating uncontrollably
"This is going to hurt little kitten." Justin chuckled. I wanted to scream but the heavy hand on my mouth stopped me. My heart sped up immediately at the feeling of the cold sharp tip poking my skin. And the next sensation...
I screamed at the top of my lungs at the excruciating pain. The pain in my ribs gone, the pain in my head gone, the pain in my throat gone..... All I felt was the knife digging into my skin mercilessly, tears running down my cheeks.
Angry.....
You deserve this.....
Numb.....
This is your punishment.....
Exhaustion.....
YOU DESERVE THIS!!!!!!
It was coming back to me again. The voices, the terror and curses. I couldn't bear it and I wanted to die. I couldn't live anymore not when there was nothing for me on this earth. Eventually I know everyone dies someday, so why not choose my luck and end it right now and right here.
I felt faint. It was like my consciousness was far way from reality. It felt like I was slipping away.
Was..... Was I dying?
God I hope so.
Too bad with dumb luck. The painful feeling of something colliding with my shin jolted my consciousness back to life
Damn it. Damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit!!!!!!!
Why? Why won't they let me die? Why won't God let me die? Why won't life let me die? WHY!!!!!!!!!!!
"Your are mine now kitten-" Justin purred.
"Fuck off I'm not anybody's." I managed to growl hoarsely and weakly. I knew what I was doing would land me a death wish and guess what, it was exactly what I needed. I could care less. I wanted to die so badly.
"What did you just say to him?" Cameron sneered giving me another kick to the shin.
"Yo, you want a death wish or something?" Roan chuckled amusingly. Oh, you have no idea Roan." I'd go back to being mute if I were you."
Ugh, whatever Roan.
"I hate you. I hate you you sadistic freak. Preying on the weak to boost your ego you sick fuck." I grunted at Justin spitting at his feet." You motherfucking son of a bitch, you prey for power and control because I bet you didn't have all that attention you wanted. You insult homosexuals and here you are, getting hard by beating me to a pulp."
I shouted all of this looking straight into his eyes, hoping that I was pushing the right buttons. I needed him to be angry and achieving that however shouldn't be a difficult task. Justin was known to have a short fuse to his box. So quick to set off. His eyes twitched a bit and I knew that I was on the right track.
"You've taken everything now..... So why don't you finish it up. Why don't you just kill me now and end it." I screamed it all at him, spewing out my anger and sadness with my harsh tone.
And then I waited. Waited for his reaction and hoping for that reaction. Even the others kept shut and backed away probably because they were cowards to grant my death wish. Justin stepped towards me, his face in a furious grimace.
"You dare talk back at me." He growled raising his left leg from the ground and bringing it down hard on the side of my stomach where the had carved his mark. I screamed feeling my breath leave me for a moment." You dare raise your voice at me." He growled as he rubbed and twisted that side with his feet, opening up the cut more and bringing more pain. I cried grabbing on to his foot but he just applied more pressure on it.
"You dare to insult me?" He grunted raising his foot and bringing it down to that side again and again and again.
The he grabbed my hair harshly and used it to pull me up. All I could do was wince, my throat tried and wet with blood as the result of the repeated punches to my stomach." But you were right about some things, you are weak "
My head was pulled back and then pushed to bang the hard cold metal of a dumpster over and over and over and over again. Each one of them harder and harsher than the last. Then my temple was pushed down to collide with the concrete ground. Blood splattered on the spot, the skin torn open, my nose broken and bleeding and my vision blurry with the concussion I was sure I had. I was slowly losing consciousness.
Then he brought my face to his, my half open eyes catching the glow of his amber orbs." And you were also right about one thing... I should end it now."
I didn't protest when on cue, the sound of a truck roared in the night and he smiled devilishly. I didn't protest when he dragged me across the ground by my hair again until we were finally out of the alley. I didn't say a word when he bent at my ear and whispered." Till we meet in the next world, Lexi-chan, our real battle will begin."
I didn't say anything as he flung me to the middle of the road, my bag following too, me being unable to move a finger. However I didn't miss the bright yellow light of the truck coming at full speed and I didn't miss the menacing glow and wolfish grin on Justin's face before the heavy truck crossed over me.
A sickening sound of bones crushing and flesh squelching before I finally met compete darkness.
Haaaaa..... Finally.
Stay tuned for more.