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Chapter 19 - Felix

"By any chance, were you... killed by a gun? Felix, was that... how your life had ended?" Tazanna's eyes had never left mine, as I remained silent and frozen to where my body was laid. My heart, which had almost stopped beating upon hearing that loud sound earlier, is now pounding hard and fast in my chest.

Tazanna had told me yesterday that she would need to come to France with Vic, and I had only wished that the gods had done something for me once—erasing the memories I had when I was still alive, including that one core memory of how I died. It was a hard decision: to let her go alone or to come along. I was scared of what was going to happen if I went, but then Tazanna could get herself into danger while she was there, and I would not want that to happen without me by her side. I came back here on earth with the intention of protecting her, and I want her to know that I never regretted losing my life for her. Tazanna was the only girl who had loved me for who I am and had never left me when I hit rock bottom; I know I can't ever find another like her.

"Felix?" she calls for the second time. My lips are trembling; there is no excuse for me now. No matter what I say, Tazanna is not going to buy them. If only I hadn't reacted the way I did to that gunshot, then she would not have figured. "Are you okay? I'm sorry. I know it was personal, and I shouldn't have asked. But... never mind. I'm sorry, Felix."

"I was startled, too." Vic entered the room. He had probably heard my and Tazanna's conversation from the outside; I wonder how long he had been there. He must have been waiting for the perfect time to appear in the room and cut in. "You were, too, right? There must have been a race or something back out there, and that explains the gunshot we heard earlier."

"Yeah. Maybe it added up to my exhaustion from yesterday that it made me jump. I'm sorry for worrying you, but I'm okay now." Tazanna locked eyes with me; my heart started pounding. I am grateful for Vic, who dared to step in and lie for my sake; I know that he knows the reason why I reacted like that, and he covered up for me. Had he been late for even a second, I would have told Tazanna everything, for there is no more excuse that I have left to make, nor can I think of anything. However, if Tazanna does not buy the lie, we're doomed.

"Okay, if you say so. Then, do you want anything? Like food or drink? I'll go get it for you." I smile, relieved that she had accepted the excuse and happy that she is caring for me. I really am the luckiest man in the world to have her with me. There is no other woman like Tazanna; she is one of a kind.

"Then, can you get me a cup of tea?" Tazanna gives me a loving smile before she stands up from the stool chair and leaves the room. My eyes then landed on the man who had helped me escape from the situation earlier. Before knowing that this man had been sent down by the same beings that had brought me back, I never liked the idea that he was always hanging around with Tazanna; now, though, I honestly do not know what to feel when he is with her. He was the Grim Reaper who had come to take the soul of the one I loved.

"I just saved you; don't even think about throwing a punch because of my purpose of being here."

I chuckle. "Thanks for lying for my sake. I literally froze; my lips were trembling, and I could not move a muscle."

"Tazanna is not one to easily believe a lie; you should know that better than anyone. She just acted as if she did; your face was drained of color; there was no way that she could ask any more." I sit up from the bed, a defeat sigh passing my lips and my fingers dug into my hair. "You know what happened in this place, and yet you insisted on coming; here I thought you had expected scenarios like this to happen. I now know you aren't as brave as they make you out to be."

Vic was right. I should have come here prepared, but Tazanna had seen me curled up in a ball with wobbly knees. I cannot protect her in this way; hearing the gunfire made me lose all faith in myself. It was the one thing that killed me, and it was also the same thing that could kill the one person for whom I had put my life in danger four years prior. I was acting grand and huge when all it took was a single shot from a complete stranger to bring me to my knees and cause me to forget about the woman I had vowed to defend.

"It had the same sound of the one that was used back then... Before I could do anything, the bullet had already come through my chest. I was unable to hear anything, incapable of moving, and I started to feel cold. It was at this time that I truly wish the gods had erased any memory I have of that incident. Tazanna would not have seen me like that then."

"It was an embarrassment, no?"

I nod my head. "I swore that I would not let anything harm her. But seeing how I can barely stand on my feet after what happened, I began to doubt whether I could actually keep that promise."

"Here's your tea, babe!" Tazanna shouts from outside the room as Vic quickly leaves. Her eyes followed him as he walked, and then she rested the silver tray on the table beside the bed. "How are you feeling? I bought some sweets, too, so you could get your energy back." She smiles. I really want to protect this person, even if it costs me my life. I would not mind getting shot again in this life if the bullet I was going to take was for her. It surprised her when I took her hand, but then she intertwined our fingers.

"You know I love you, right?" Tazanna laughs.

"Of course I do! What kind of question even is that? And I love you, too."

"I would risk my life for your safety, Taz. I promise you that. I can die for you."