Tuesday, August 1st.
I sit on my bed and, using a book as a clipboard, I write yet another letter filled with lustful dialogue. I pour words on to the stationary that I am sure my father would be ashamed of. Today is the day of the ball and it is a hot late morning. Me and Irina are set to visit the art museum which has opened today. The ball doesn't start until five. I have set aside my best uniform, or at least the one without holes. I also have placed the silvery Flak battle badge on the top left breast of the uniform shirt, I only bring it out for special occasions and Obrenski is still bitter about it. Kurtz hangs off the edge of his cot and plays with Otto the cat. Obrenski flips through another pornograhic magazine, I really don't know where he gets them. I have quite the stack of letters from me and Irina's many correspondences that sit on the shelf behind my bunk. As I flood the paper with sinful words, my hand cramps as a punishment for my sin. I stretch my arm and in doing so I knock the stationary into the floor. Before I can reach for it, Kurtz jumps up and exclaims,"I'll get it!" My heart fills in knots, I can't let him read what's on that paper. He is too innocent for that! "Wait Kurtz, No!" I frantically shout. I am too late, Kurtz picks it up and begins to read. "Franz, what does kiss all over your body mean?" he asks. I nearly jump out of my skin with embarrassment. Obrenski pops his head up out of his magazine and gives a wide grin. He senses perversion like a shark smells blood.
"Kurtz give me that." Obrenski demands. Kurtz rushes it to him before I can attempt to stop him. He reads aloud from my letter, "I'm going to touch you in all the right places, run my hand up your thigh. Kiss your…." He pauses silently reading and then exclaims,"Goddamn boy, you're a natural poet!" I attempt to snatch the letter but he raises it above his head as he holds me back with his hand. He reads it and whoops and hollers,"Damn Franz you're making me blush." "Give it back!" I demand. He continues to read,"Run my hands through your soft hair." " Give it back dammit." I shout. He pushes me back and I am too angry to be embarrassed anymore. "Damn Franz, does her mother know how you talk to her?" That was the final straw. I charge and tackle Obrenski into his bed and we wrestle for the letter. He shouts,"I am going to beat your ass Franz!" I scream," I'm going to kill you!" "Enough of this!" yells the Lieutenant who just walked in. Me and Obrenski halt our brawl and get up and stand to attention. "What is the meaning of this?" asks a stern Lieutenant Sprieg. "Obrenski took my letter." I explain. "Oh Sprieg, you should see what this boy writes, it would make your mother turn in her grave." Oh no the last thing I want is the Lieutenant to know my ill dialogue. "I have no interest, give it back Obrenski." commands Lieutenant Sprieg. He reluctantly hands the wrinkled paper to me and I snatch it from his hands. Kurtz asks naively,"Lieutenant, what does kissing all over your body mean?" The Lieutenant looks at Kurtz and then back at me. I blush with embarrassment, Obrenski tries to keep from chuckling. "Franz." The Lieutenant commands,"Come with me." Oh no this can't be good and I am afraid I am going to have a lot of explaining to do. Obrenski struggles to hold in his laughter making a low groaning sound. I follow the Lieutenant out the door and I hear Kurtz ask Obrenski," Do you know what it means?" I hope to God Obrenski doesn't answer him.
I follow him into his office and he says to me."Franz, you know the rules about fighting with Obrenski." I defend myself," But he started it. "I don't care who starts it. Don't do it again." "Yes sir." I say knowing better then to argue. He continues,"Now I know today you are going to the ball with your girlfriend and I expect you to be on your best behavior, this is a big festival after all. And no funny business, you understand." "Yes sir." "Also I am extending your curfew until twelve. Don't make me regret it." I get to stay late with Irina! I am so excited. "Thank you Lieutenant." I say, "Please don't make me regret it Franz." "Also." He continues reaching into his pocket and pulls out several reichsmarks, "Take this and get her some lunch." "Th- thank you sir." I respond as I gingerly take the currency. "Now get going, I am sure she is waiting for you." As I am about to leave he stops me by saying sternly," Hands to yourself Franz." I just nod and exit.
As I step back into the barracks, I am startled to see Obrenski and Kurtz backs facing me sitting on my bed, reading. Reading not just anything but my letters. My letters! Obrenski chuckles to himself while Kurtz attempts to read confused. "Obrenski!" I shout. He turns back, saying," God damn Franz, this girl can write." Kurtz says,"Franz, Obrenski says you're a dirty boy but I don't understand, you always look so clean to me." "Give them back Obrenski!" "No wonder you are always uptight, I would be hard all the time too after reading this." "Don't make me get the Lieutenant Obrenski!" I threaten. It worked," Fine fine, I'm done with them anyway. You better give this girl what she wants." I approach and snatch the letter from him saying,"I told you she's not like that." "Bull shit, this girl is so damn horny, she'd fuck you where you stand." Kurtz asks,"Franz, what does horny mean?" I ignore him even though Kurtz holds a genuinely intrigued expression. Obrenski says,"I tell you Franz, you better do this girl before someone else does her." I ignore him as well. Kurtz then asks, Obrenski, what does horny mean." Obrenski is about to answer before I shout," Don't you dare." Obrenski sticks his tongue at me. Then he says," Franz is being mean and won't let me tell you." Kurtz looks at me and says,"Why do you have to be that way Franz?" I huff and say,"I will tell you when you are older."
I start to dress in my best uniform and put on my boots, the Flak battle badge shines from my left breast. As I exit Obrenski says,"Now don't you come back until you have knocked the dust off of that girl." I roll my eyes and head out to the kubelwagen before getting in and starting it up. It roars with a deep growl and I head off into the city. Today is the grand opening of the art museum and Irina and I are set to meet for it.
As I pull in front of the long rectangular art museum, I already see a crowd has formed in front of the building with large banners that have been drapedfrom the roof. There the mayor in a top hat holds large scissors in anticipation of cutting the red ribbon. Women and some children are in their best attire of white, dark greens, black, reds dresses, and many men are in dark black suits. Many of the men are aged. The great pillars that support the long awning are peaked with statues of two men holding the awning on their back. It is a stone slab of awning that shades the crowd gathered on the steps. I try to make out Irina from the crowd but to no avail. I go and park the vehicle out in a parking lot. As I walk across the street I hear my name being called out. It's Irina as she waves frantically from the top of the steps. Her blond hair and dark blue dress is distinctive from the crowd. I race up to the stairs to greet her as I push my way through the crowd on the stairs. We embrace as the mayor starts his speech. He begins," Today has been a long awaited day for this is Toter Garten first official art museum. Behold the great works that have been hidden away for centuries that are now on display for all to enjoy. And with that said I dedicate this display in the name of Adolf Hitler." He cuts the ribbon as the crowd exclaims,"Hail Hitler!" I suddenly feel uncomfortable so does Irina. Some of the crowd seems confused as well. As the mayor steps away, the people make their way up the steps with renewed excitement and vigor. Irina looks to me and hugs me tightly even as people flow around us like a stone in a stream. She says to me,"I missed you so much, I am so excited." "Yeah me too." I say.
As we enter the doors we come into the main lobby, I hear many heels and boots of the crowd clack on the hard gray stone floor. The walls are of a creame color and there is a half circle reception desk. But what catches my eye the most is the massive globe that sits on a pedestal underneath the glass atrium. The rays of the afternoon pour in from the skylight making the silver globe sparkle ad it slowly spins. Further down the lobby are two grand stair cases that lead to the second floor and lead to each adjacent wings. Multiple paintings line the walls. Many Greek statues circle around the globe.
People flood the building and walk
"Oh Franz, isn't this lovely. This place is beautiful!" as see does a little twirl among the crowd. One of her many cute quirks that I like which make not help but smile. She says to me,"I'm so glad I am here with you. What do you want to see first?" I don't there is so much to look at. "What do you want to do?" I ask "Let see it all!" she says with excitement, she is so cute. We walk to the back under the second floor and observe the many display cases of art that hang from the walls or stand on pedestals. Irina admires an oil painting of a small village. "Uncle Nuham would love it here." She states. "Well he should come one day." I say. "He can't, they won't allow jews here." I frown at the thought of prejudice. It's a shame of how things are.
After a while of wandering through the majestic wards of oiled arts and stone statues, we make it up the stairs to the se on floor. I had observed a particularly interesting clay pot with ancient greek written on it. We go up the stairs and step into the garden section. The small garden looks like a small jungle with elephant grass, small trees, a variety of green, yellow, white and blue flowers that are revealed through high glass overhead. A small gazebo sits next to a small stream that runs down a pebble waterfall. Irina gasps with excitement,"This place is beautiful Franz!" She rushes up to the gazebo before I can stop her. She stands in the gazebo and shouts," Come join me!" I walk up to her and she grabs my collar and kisses me. Some passersby chuckle at our public display of affection. She stands and takes in the beauty of the garden and says to me,"One day I would like to have a garden just like this." A far-fetched dream I think with the state of the war but I play along,"Yeah maybe when we get a house we can have one." She looks to me with a joyous smile and says,"I think that would be nice."
As we exit the garden section, Irina virtually drags me to the other side of the building. I pass an oil painting of a woman that appears sad. She has eyes that look of sorrow that catch my attention. I stop and Irina halts,"What is it?" I stand and observe this painting of a woman with deep brown eyes, a pale round face with a frown, and dark brown hair. Irina observes the painting and says,"She looks so sad." Something about this piece of art looks familiar, then it hits me. Like a long forgotten memory I suddenly remember, it looks like my mother. I don't remember her well but I remember how sad she always looked. Like she was in pain but never could say it. One day, when I was a small child, she died and I remember how my father cried for days. I remember the police going into our bathroom and returning with struck faces. And finally I remember through the cracked door, my mother's hand dangling over the edge of the bathtub. It was suicide, my mother committed suicide and my father never told me. The sudden resurgence of the suppressed memory causes me to tear up. Irina immediately takes notice and ask,"Franz, what's wrong?" I am taken back and choke as tears stroll down my face. Irina holds deep concern on her face and she says softly,"It's ok, it's just a painting." I stutter for words choking up with the lump in my throat,"No… it's not that… it's my mother, I just remembered what happened to my mother." Irina looks curiously surprised and asks," What happened Franz?" I still stutter as the lump still sits in my throat,"She….she killed herself." Tears roll freely down my cheeks and I notice I am making a scene as people stare. Shock falls upon Irina's face and she says,"Oh Franz, I am so sorry…. I didn't know." I begin to sob even though I attempt to wipe the tears from my eyes. She says to me as she tugs on my arm,"Come on let's go."
She escorts me out while I attempt to hide my tears from the public. As we reenter the kubelwagen, she asks me,"Are you ok?" I try to calm myself and respond,"My father never told me." Irina replies,"Well you couldn't have known. He was just trying to protect you." My grief then turns into anger," He should have told me." She defends him,"Well Franz, what was he supposed to do, tell a child that his mother took her own life." She is right, I hate to admit. She says,"He never meant to hurt you." "Just why though, why did she do it?" I ask more of myself than of her. "Well Franz, if she looked as sad as that woman in the painting…. Sometimes people's sadness is just too much. We get a lot of patients in the hospital like that, many of them have tragic stories. And we get a lot of patients who did do it. It's always sad." I ponder her words and realize I can't be angry for something so long ago. What happened happened and I can't change it. I am still kind of upset about the revelation. I feel abandoned but I will never find the truth of why. "Look Franz, the best advice I have is it is best not to think to hard about these things. It is what has gotten me through nursing." I think maybe she is right, I am glad she is here to comfort me. She pauses and says,"Why don't we go get some lunch?" I think I have been wanting to take her to a fancy restaurant and I have been saving my army pay to do so. And with the allowance allocated to me by Lieutenant Sprieg, I should have enough. "That would be nice. I have a place in mind." "What place?" She asks. "It's a surprise." "What are you up to Franz?" She asks. I smile smugly like Obrenski does,"You'll see."
As we drive through the city streets, traffic is heavier than usual as many make preparations for the ball. As we continue Irina states,"Franz, we passed the square." "We are not going to the square." "What are you up to?" She asks. "I'll show you in a minute. We pull up to a white building with a parking lot that surrounds it. Out front is a small garden with a water fountain with a lion's head statue. A great open gate that services as entrance. Great white pillars hold up the awning and in between the are gates wrought iron fence. This place is undeniably fancy with its tall windows and many patrons of upper class frequently go back and forth. Above hangs a cursive sign that reads "Heaven's Gate.
"Franz, we won't be able to afford this place." she says. "I have been saving for months for this." "Franz, I'm not dressed for this." She says. "It will be fine." I respond. As we walk up to the door, a waiter in a black tuxedo holds the door open for us and says,"After you madam and sir."
I am impressed with the livelihood of the restaurant. Golden pillars support the weight of the building.The ceiling is painted blue with fluffy clouds as chandeliers hang lighting the dinning room. Many white clothed tables, sitting four each, are set about as the high class sip their wine and eat their steaks. " We are stopped at the reception as a man asks,"Where are your reservations?" Oh no. "Reservations? We don't have any reservations." He says sternly," No reservations, no entry." Irina looks incredibly disappointed. I feel embarrassed. "Now run along, I have others to attend." We, ashamed and disappointed, step out of line. I feel a sinking in my stomach. As we walk I hear a voice ask,"Irina Gänseblümchen?" We turn around and a waiter approaches us. Irina, confused answers," Yes?" "I knew it had to be you." "Do I know you?" She asks. "My name is Otis, I am a friend of your father. He used to come here frequently before he died." "Otis what are you doing with those plebs?" The reception man asks rudely. Otis turns and snaps,"I will have you know that this is the daughter of Doctor Gänseblümchen, who might I remind you has a lifetime membership." The reception man looks surprised before uttering,"Uh my deepest apologies mam, had I known I was in the presence of the daughter of an upstanding man of the community. I would have seated you sooner." What about reservations?" I ask. He replies," None needed with a lifetime membership. Now right this way." Otis stops him and says,"No, I will escort them."
We follow the waiter Otis to our table and he pulls out the chair for Irina who obliges and takes her seat. She asks,"How did you come to know my father?" He responds,"I was his personal waiter. He and Doctor Zolltoller used to come to discuss medical business." Irina's father knew Kurtz's Doctor? I ask," What is this lifetime membership?" "Her father was the personal physician for the restaurant owner. You can eat here anytime you please. Lifetime memberships are rarely given out." Me and Irina look to each other amazed. "I'll be back with menus." Otis says as he walks away. "I can't believe we are here." she says. A waiter with a tray of alcoholic beverages comes by and asks. "Wine sir." I have never had alcohol before. "Sure." He hands me the glass of red liquid and I take a sip. The wine burns down my throat making me gag. Irina gives a cute chuckle at my expression. How does Obrenski drink this stuff. Otis the waiter returns with menus and I order a steak and Irina a salad. As I look around and see people gayley eating, it seems the food shortages haven't affected this place.
As we wait for a while Irina regales in some of her nursing stories. Over the summer she has continued working in the hospital and even in the late hours of night. I partially got distracted while she had been explaining the story to me," So Mr Hadiz had suffered abdominal burns that we were treating and one day, Elsa came in with a pot of boiling coffee. She was pouring it when it and then it suddenly spilled in his lap. It burned him and he said to her," Are you trying to make me well-done?" I tried so hard not to laugh and Doctor Steinhoff was so angry at her." She laughs and asks,"Isn't that hilarious?" I chuckle uncertain of what the joke actually is. She then begins a tale of gossip,"There is Nurse Helga and she is such a brood, she is so rude to patients and she makes me clean all of them but I heard she has been stealing some of the pain medication from patients. I find it funny how everytime she works we are always short of pain medicine." She starts on a story that i dread. She begins," Did you know the hospital is haunted?" "What?" I ask intrigued. "Yeah at night especially in the east wing, you can hear sobbing in room two thirty. People also hear footsteps when no one's around." She gives a face of someone telling a horror story.
I recall my time in the forest. The thought causes me to shudder. "I have seen ghosts." I say "What? Where?" She asks full of intrigue. "We went into the forest." I say. She asks with concern and surprise," Why were you out there? You shouldn't have been out there." I reply," We had orders to find a patrol that went missing." "Well did you find them?" She asks. "Yeah and we found something else." "What?" "A bomber with secret pictures." her curiosity peaked,"What kind of pictures?" I reply,"Something of a secret prison camp. But here's the thing, command won't tell us what it is or why it's there." she asks rhetorically," I wonder why?" "We don't know but the Lieutenant has Sergeant Rudenstoff investigating." "But what about the ghosts?" she asks impatiently. "When we were leaving, the forest just came alive like there was all this noise and there were figures in the trees." I get goosebumps recalling the events. "And what happened?" she asks. "I … I don't know, they just left us." I answer. "Who's they?" she asks. I reply,"I…I don't know." "Was it scary?" She asks. I simply answer, "Terrifying." I debate on whether I should tell her about the true origins of the city but I don't want to shatter her concept of the flower festival so I keep my mouth shut.
Otis returns with our food and sets the plates of steak and salad in front of us. Before me sizzles a dark brown steak and buttery mash potatoes. It looks delicious. Irina has a salad of chopped lettuce, onion, tomato, egg, ham and dressing. I cut in to my grilled steak and find it has a nice pink center with fat around the edges. As I take my first bite my taste is overwhelmed with the charred flavor of the expertly seasoned meat. I find the white mashed potatoes that are poured over with golden yellow butter to be equally delicious. We engage gleefully in our meal.
After our feast, I and Irina smile at each other at the mere thought that we have just eaten in the finest establishment the city has to offer. Otis the waiter comes by to take our plates and hands me the check, the much dreaded check. As I gaze along the priced paper, I find that the meal was as expensive as I thought. I nervously count reichsmarks under the table to be sure I have enough. I attempt to hide my fear from her. I would hate to have to explain we couldn't pay, that would be horrifically embarrassing. Luckily, I had just enough and I feel relieved. I pay and give Otis a good tip.
We leave the high establishment feeling satisfied with ourselves. As we take our place in the kubel, she says,"Thank you so much Franz. That was really nice." "I'm glad you liked it." She gives me a short kiss on the lips. This girl is wonderful, I really like her. "Franz." she says,"You're a really good man." She called me a good man!
After engaging in more debauchery, it is finally time for the ball to start. Me and Irina make our way to the square that is the favorite meeting place of the city. The great stone tower of the cathedral rises high into the sky as we walk along with the crowd of nicely dressed people who make their way to the square. Entering the square among the crowd of men and women I notice there is a lack of children at this event. I bring up my findings to Irina who informs me that the ball is really only for adults. People crowd the square around the fountain as they wait for the great wooden doors of the cathedral to open. Many people have crowded the bar, restaurant and bakery which benefit from the event. Many friends and families converse with one another as though they haven't seen one another for quite some time. Me and Irina start around the stone polished statue of the king with sits atop the fountain. With scepter in one hand and a stone sword raised high above the embezzled crowned head. With the roaring sound of water rushing into its pool, I wonder if it is the king who laid siege to the city.
"Irina." a voice says. Irina looks around before saying confused," Uncle Nuham?"
The adged man approaches us in black suit and a top hat that hides his balding head, His distinct black beard covers his tie. Irina whispers trying to be discreet," Uncle Nuham, what are you doing here? You know jews can't attend." "I know dear. I knew you would be here." He says in a gentle voice. I realized the star of David on his suit has been sown over with a black patch. She asks "How did you know?" "You're with a boy, of course I would know." He looks at me, "How are you, young man? I have a gift for the little one." "What do you mean?" I ask confused. He unveiles, from behind his back, a little wooden plane. Not just any plane, but the fighter jet that Kurtz wanted in which we saw months ago. I had completely forgotten that we had Obrenski make a drawing of the Me 262 and I had sent it to Irina to deliver to the toymaker. He completed it, I don't believe it. "Aw Uncle Nuham, that was so sweet." she says. He replies,"I wasn't able to mail it so I decided to deliver it in person." "Uh uh thank you sir." I say as I receive the wonderfully carved model plane from him. "Uncle Nuham, don't lie. I know you just wanted to spy on us." He gives a hearty chuckle and says,"Oh my little Irina, how much have you grown. I am starting to become predictable." He continues," I just wanted to see if this boy was treating you alright." She replies," Franz is great, he just took me to the nicest restaurant in the city." "Really, that must mean you have found one with a lot of money." He says elbowing me in the side playfully. His demeanor and jolly attitude makes me smile. He says,"I going to meet your mother soon, I can't wait to tell her how well you two are doing." Me and Irina freeze, he doesn't know her mother forbade us from seeing each other. "Wait Uncle Nuham, you can't tell mother about us." "Well why not?" he asks confused. "Because uh uh." She stutters. He asks with playful intrigue,"Irina, are you not telling me something?" "Well uh yes uh no." She stumbles. I spit it out," Her mother doesn't want us to see each other." Irina looks at me with frustrated surprise. He smirks and says,"I knew it." "What do you mean you knew?" she asks. "Your mother wrote to me wondering if I had seen you two together. She suspects you two are dating in secret." Irina's mother is on to our ruse. She asks,"What did you tell her?" "That I haven't seen you in a while." he replies. "Uncle Nuham, please, you can't tell mother." "Don't worry my dear, I won't tell a thing." He says with jolly smile. "Now you two have fun." He says as he walks away from us.
I venture from Irina to place the model plane in the back seat of the kubelwagen. As I came back to the square, the crowd had gathered around the cathedral steps and a lone man in priestly robes stands atop announcing,"Today is 30th annual August Ball. A day where we celebrate the lives of those living and those lost. Thirty years ago, the Great War started and loved ones danced before being taken away by the gears of war. Now we find ourselves at war again." He pauses and looks saddened like he is thinking to himself before he starts again."This year we will celebrate as we always have. And we will celebrate until we can no longer. Remember, no alcohol in the cathedral and enjoy yourselves." He steps aside and the massive dark wood double doors of the cathedral are opened. The crowd begins to go up the steps as I try to search the crowd for Irina. I find her at the top of the steps waving to me amongst the crowd as I join at the top of the stairs, we enter the cathedral. The pews have been removed making the holy place quite spacious enough to accommodate the gathering of hundreds. There is a small band that plays music and the sound of bass, violin, and brass instruments meet my ears. Some dance while others make merriment. The violet blue and red lights of the stained glass windows flood the building with sunlight. The building is bustling with commotion.
Irina and I find the crowd overwhelming and we try to find a small corner away from the populace. We are approached by three girls, one a tall brunette, another a short blond, and another brown hair girl and all are fair skinned. They walk with swaying dresses of : light blue, dark tan and violet perspectively. It's Irina's friends. The blond says in a squeaky voice," Hey Irina it's so good to see you here." The tall brunette says," So this is the boy? He looks better in person." "He is kinda cute." The brown haired girl announces. I stand there awkward as they examine me. I just realized I had met them when me and Irina first met but that was a while ago, perhaps they don't remember me. The blond states,"Irina has told us all about you." Irina's face is starting to blush, her eyes pleading for their silence. The brown-haired girl says,"Oh yeah we talk about you all the time. She can't get you off her mind." The brunette states,"We have read your letters." I am taken by surprise, has Irina been allowing them to read our lust filled correspondence. I look at Irina's face that tells me that that secret should not have been revealed. The brunette begins to circle me and says, running a finger across my shoulders,"You're a dirty dirty boy Franz." She chuckles, I feel embarrassed and uneasy. The blond with a squeaky voice says, "Oh yeah, she talks about wanting to marry you and have babies." Marriage? Babies? I look at Irina who looks increasingly embarrassed. They all chuckle besides me and Irina. The brown haired girl states," She says you two are going to live together after the war." The brunette adds mockingly,"Isn't that so sweet. But for all that talk, can you put your money where your mouth is?" "What? What do you mean?" I ask uneasily. She replies,"Well are you big enough, you sure talk an awful lot in those letters." "I don't know what you mean." I say confused. "What, are you a virgin or something?" My cheeks blush with uncomfortable embarrassment. I don't know how to respond, I look at Irina and she too looks extremely embarrassed. All I can stutter is,"Well uh uh…" The brunette announces," I knew it, he is a virgin!" The girls all laugh, I feel so embarrassed that I just want to shield myself and run away. The blond says laughing," She found herself a virgin boy! Ha ha!" I cower in the onslaught of their hazing. Irina demands,"Knock it off." The brunette laughs further saying,"This is priceless! We got ourselves two virgins who are nothing but talk." Irina's face is red, I can't tell from anger or embarrassment. "Quit making fun of him!" Irina commands. "Why? I just love how you two think you all are so big and bad but you two haven't done squat." Irina approaches the tall brunette and slaps her across the face. We are all stunned. The brunette snaps,"Ugh how dare you!" Irina doubles down,"Quit making fun of him Erica." "Just you wait, I'll tell your mother all about him." The brunette snaps. Irina snaps back," If you do that I'll tell that Maxenhann boy about all those dreams you have been having about him." "You… you wouldn't dare." She says flustered cheeks bright red. Irina says sternly, "Try me." "Ugh, we won't be friends anymore after this." The brunette declares. "Fine." Irina says, crossing her arms defiantly. "You would choose a boy over me?" She asks. Irina answers "Yes." "Ugh, come on girls we are leaving." The group snickers and leaves to rejoin the crowd.
Me and Irina look at each other awkwardly, an awkwardness I haven't felt in a while. She finally says "I'm sorry about them." "You let them read our letters?" I ask upset. She admits, "Some of them yes but Franz it was just girl talk." I feel betrayed. "How much do they know?" She doesn't answer. I repeat,"How much do they know?" "Enough, they know enough." She admits. I turn away from her, I feel completely embarrassed by this event. "Look Franz, I am so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen." She places her hand on my shoulder. I feel almost ashamed of myself for writing the letters in the first place. They were meant to be personal, but I don't feel as though I could stay mad at her. Girls do have a tendency to share personal things. But they were special only meant for her. "Franz, how can I make it up to you?" She asks. She genuinely feels sorry. It doesn't matter anymore, Obrenski knows, the Lieutenant knows. Hell, even Kurtz knows though he doesn't understand. I turn back to her and she looks upon me with eyes of sincere apology. I take in a deep breath and say "It's alright." She smiles with relief like a weight has been lifted from her. "Do you want to go dancing?" I ask trying to forget about the event. She responds flashing her deep blue eyes,"I think that would be nice Franz."
She places her hands on my shoulder and I, confidently, place my hands at her waist. Her dress sways back and forth in a rhythmic flowing manner as we sway to a slower waltz from the band. She starts "I didn't know you were uh a uh vir…." "Yeah" I interrupt. She starts to giggle. "What's so funny?" I demand confused. She stops giggling to say," Oh just the two of us. I mean we are both way in over our heads." "You mean that we are both…?" I ask "Yeah." She says. She smiles slightly with her hands wrapped tightly around my neck. She frowns suddenly and says,"Franz I'm sorry I didn't mean for them to hurt you." She obviously still feels upset about earlier. "It's alright." I try to reassure her. "No Franz, I really care about you and they shouldn't have done that." she says. "I really care about you too." She smiles and says,"Franz, I am really glad I met you." "Me too." I reply. I can't help but smile. I feel so close to this girl. "Irina." I say reminiscing,"You remember this is where we had our first kiss." She smiles a pure and honest smile and asks,"Do you want to have another?" I smile and we both give a passionate kiss.
After a while of dancing she placed her head in the middle of my chest. She utters to me,"Franz, this is nice." Evening has set in and they have lit the chandeliers that hang over the dancing populace. The songs have fluctuated from up beat to slow and somber. Even though we are surrounded by a crowd, I feel alone with her. Someone catches my attention and then horror falls upon me. There in among the gathering is Irina's mother, searching intensely. I shake Irina and point. She is startled before she realizes what is happening. Oh no we are trapped, she will find us soon. I desperately look for an outing for us. A door! An ancient wooden door. I grab Irina's hand and yank her to the door. I pull on the ancient metal ring handle and it stiffly creaks open. I drag her into a stone room that is dimly lit by torch light narrowly avoiding being caught. One of the many back rooms of the cathedral. Another one of the many chambers hidden from public view, a place I am certain we are not to be in. "Whew, that was close." I say. "What is she doing here?" Irina asks, perturbed. "I don't know, she must be looking for us." I say. "Why? Does she know?" Irina asks with concern in her voice. I reply "I don't know but I think we should stay here for now." What I thought was a room is actually a corridor made of old black stone. To our right at the end of the corridor is another wooden door that looks similar to the one behind us. The corridor is dimly lit by torch light. This place is dark, damp and honestly a little creepy.
"I can't believe we didn't get caught. What is this place Franz." She asks Suddenly we hear footsteps approaching from the other end of the corridor. Irina whispers,"We are not supposed to be here, we need to hide." "This way." I whisper back. I open the door next to us and it groans open in a way I am sure has alerted our presence. As I scurry behind Irina, suddenly we both drop and tumble down a flight of wooden stairs. We hit the bottom and land on a cobblestone floor. I land on top of Irina as we collapse. "Ow, Franz get off of me." she says. As I look up I come face to face with a skull. A human skull!" I jump to my feet with fright. Then I realize where we are, we have fallen into the dimly lit crypt. The stone walls are carved out and in their places are skulls and skeletons. Candles sit on the stone shelves. There are three stone slabs from floor to ceiling and each contain skeletal remains. Rows upon rows of slabs carved in the underground rock are present in each passage way. Candle fires flicker and glow lighting the crypt in yellowish orange light. Just from the looks of it this place must be a maze of catacombs. Irina rises to her feet and asks,"Franz are you ok?" "Yeah you?" "My back hurts from where you landed on me but I am ok." she says. I reply,"Sorry. Where are we?" "She answers,"This must be the catacombs, I've only ever heard about them." Suddenly the door at the top of the stairs creek open. Me and Irina look into each others eyes in terror, we are being followed. She takes my hand and we rush into the maze of bones. We take a sharp left and hide. The sounds of footsteps grow louder. I am certain we are going to get caught, and then who knows what trouble we will be in. Will she be sent to her mother? Will I be grounded by Lieutenant Sprieg? The footsteps fade until we can no longer hear them. We think the coast is clear so we emerge from our hiding place only to find a person waiting for us. We are caught!
An old man in black priestly robes with a large cross approaches us. His face is old and wrinkled with a large white beard. He carries a ornamented brass pail that I can only assume is full of incense.
"Kids, what are you doing here? This place is off limits, no one but the clergy is allowed here." He says in an elderly voice. Irina replies trying to cover us. "I'm sorry sir, I just wanted to show my boyfriend the catacombs I had heard so much about." He glares at us not believing our story. I reach out and touch the rough stone wall. "How old is this place?" I ask out of ginuwine curiosity. He was about to berate us but he answers my question like he is excited someone finally asked."These catacombs are older then the cathedral it's self. There are others in the city as well, but this is the largest. It dates back far before war of the brothers." "The war of the brothers?" Irina asks. I think he means the backstory of the town. "The two brothers, princes Enrich and Albert Talbot, fought for the hand of princess Elisa, The brothers fought in the forest where prince Enrich was killed. Prince Albert laid siege to the town until the princess agreed to marry him. That is the origin of the flower festival." Irina then says in denial,"No that can't be true, that would mean the festival is a lie." "It was a siege my dear." The priest says. Irina looks visibly shaken.
"Franz, did you know this?" she asks me.
"Its true, the Lieutenant told me." She seems so heart broken.
"You boy, whom do you serve under?" He asks. "Lieutenant Odel Sprieg sir." I reply,"Ah yes, your commander would come here often to pray. We discussed many things." That's how the Lieutenant knew the backstory of the city! He continues,"He use to come and pray frequently and then one day he stopped."
"Who are you?" I ask. He replies,"I am Father Helmut, the keeper of this cathedral. And who are you?" "I'm Irina and this is Franz." she says. "You know you two are not supposed to be here." "We know, in truth sir, we are hiding from my mother, she doesn't want us to be together." "Ah forbidden love I see." He says in his aged voice. " "Please don't tell sir." " My dear I am a priest, I take confessions. There is another way out of here. Follow me."
We follow the aged priest through the dimly lit and damp crypts. I have never seen so many bones in one place before. Father Helmut leads the way and tells us more information about the cathedral as if we were tourists. He informs us,"The cathedral took over ten years to build with them hauling the stones from Steinbruch Stadt and the stained glass was set two years after. Irina asks, who had been listening intently, "So the cathedral sat here without glass for two years?" The father replies delighted with the questions," Precisely, a war broke out and stalled the production. Then they had to transport the glass from the foundries in other regions. It took a year for them to set all the glass pieces. I ask a question that burns in my mind," So where do you and the nuns live?" He once again seems delighted and answers, There is a convent not far from here and the nuns usually use the catacombs to travel back and forth. As for me, I have a room here in the building." So that's why I never see any of the clergy because they move through the catacombs. Irina asks another question," So Father, just exactly how old are these crypts?" He answers," Some believe they date back as far as the second century, these grounds use to be a burial ground for the romans. As far as we know this used to be a small roman town that was built on the frontier with the barbarians. The cathedral was simply built on top of the catacombs. There is a strong spiritual energy here." Now that I think of it, there is kind of a presence here I can feel aside from the creepiness. Though it is nowhere near what I felt in the forest. The forest, just its mere thought is enough to make my blood cold. Then a question enters my mind. "Father?" I ask "Why are there ghosts?" He seems astonished and thinks for a moment. He answers," Well son, I am really not sure but it was explained to me that those who are not holy enough for heaven but not sinful enough for hell end up staying here on Earth. Other than that, I really don't know what to tell you." I ponder his answer and I wonder if he is right but I don't think any of us will ever really know.
After our venture through the catacombs we come across another series of wooden steps that rise up to a rather modern looking wooden door. Our exit! "There children, that leads to the convent. I trust you will find your way from here." he says. Irina says," Thank you father." He replies in a humble manner," Now you two stay out of trouble, and God be with you." He turns and leaves us disappearing back in to the maze of the underground. Me and Irina go up the stairs, the aged wood groans from the pressure. As we open the door we find that we are in a small fenced in lot with a single gate. It is dark out and the stars shine in the night sky with a waning moon. The blackout has commenced and not even a street light is on. We exit the gate and find our way out onto the street outside the covent. I have no clue where we are but Irina perks up and says,"follow me."
After a long walk in the dark, we find ourselves back at the Kubelwagen. Before Irina gets into the passenger seat, she suddenly bursts out laughing. I, confused, ask. "What's so funny?" She wipes her eyes and replies, "Franz, only we can get into the trouble we fall into." "Yeah sorry." I say unsure of how to respond. She says in an effort to console me," No Franz, its my favorite part about being with you." That statement causes me to smile. Then a frown falls upon my face as I realize we have nothing left to do and we can't go back to the ball, and I most certainly don't want our night to end. I ask," So what do you want to do now?" She replies simply, " I have an idea."
Irina directs me out of the dark blackened city, we pass so party goers who are just now returning early from the ball. A glance at my watch tells me it is nine o'clock. We drive further and further out of the city limits and I am perplexed as to where she is leading us. The dim lights of the kubelwagen light our way as we rumble off of pavement and onto dirt road. I ask confused, "Where are we going?" as only darkness and fields envelope us. She replies, "We are going to a place I used to go as a little girl." After a further drive something dark and massive takes shape out of the night. A massive structure that's silhouette strikes me odd for something of its size to be so far from the city. Then it hits me. The castle! She is taking us to the castle that sits far from the city. Sure enough my suspicions are confirmed when the dim lights of the kubelwagen illuminate the white walls of the castle. Here it has stood undisturbed for centuries, moss climbs the surprisingly well looking white walls. The castle looks relatively small from the city but here it is massive and possesses walls that are twenty feet in height and two large pointed towers that must rise at least to thirty feet.. The is a large iron gate that separates outsiders from the courtyard. The structure itself must be seventy feet in length as one tower faces town and the other towards the forest. Here was the refuge of the princess and It was here where the residents of the city took shelter during the siege. Here it stands like a long forgotten knight just waiting again for the day when it must shelter the masses. Here it sits peacefully as though in a waiting slumber.
Irina speaks up, shaking me from my awe, "My father would take me here as a little girl. There was a time when you could go inside but they locked the gates." The moon light bathes the white walls in a soft light that I didn't notice. She looks at me and smiles, mostly because she notices my amazed expression. There is something oddly poetic and dare I even say romantic about this place. I look at her and she brushes her hair with her fingers rather bashfully stating," I figured here we could be alone." "This is amazing." I say "I know, I figured you would like it." she says quietly. Something is off with her; she is not as confident here as she normally is. She still continues to brush her hair almost nervously avoiding eye contact with me. I ask her," Is something wrong?" She stops her brushing, and looks at me, quietly telling me," Everything is fine." Something is definitely off, she is not even acting like herself. "Are you sure?"
She says shyly, "Franz, what if we…" she pauses bashfully "What if we what?" I ask. She suddenly sits up and takes my hand and gently places it upon her mid chest. My heart races and my body trembles. She looks into my eyes with sincerity. She then takes my hand and places it upon her shoulder and slowly she slides the straps off her dress down her shoulders. At first I hesitate and resist but she gives me a slight smile that displays her approval. I still tremble as we together slide the straps of her dress down her arm. We continue on to her other shoulder and I feel the warmth and softness of her skin. She now reveals more cleavage than what she would normally show. I swallow hard, it is my turn. She reaches out her hand and I withdraw. I don't know why I am so nervous, it's not like we haven't touched before. But this time feels different, it feels pure and innocent. I think I know what we are about to do and I am afraid. She reaches her hand as though she is trying to calm a wild beast and somehow I am drawn to her. She places her hand upon my chest and I take my hand and together we begin to undo the buttons of my uniform. One by one we go down each button until my uniform is removed. We gaze into each other's eyes and a silent agreeable permission is given between us.
I decide to be brave and take the first move. I gently lean forward and kiss upon her neck and she gasps and tenses before relaxing. I can feel the trembling of her breath as she takes in the moment, she has never kissed this way before. She rolls her neck as I kiss passionately upon her. As I finish, she looks with blushing cheeks and leans towards me. It is her turn as she kisses upon my neck and the euphoric feeling befalls me. I feel so alive and intoxicated. I am sure my face is flush as the warmth of her breath is spread across my neck. She trembles holding me tightly as she kisses upon my lips. I take my hands and gently hold her face. She takes my hand and places it upon her breast. I shiver with trepidation but her kisses tell me it's alright. What is about to happen will happen and though I am full of nervousness, I also embrace it. She seductively clamors over into my lap placing her between me and the steering wheel. Slow she begins to untuck my undershirt as she kisses me gently. She pauses and then says to me,"I saw this in a magazine once and I always wanted to try it." We both chuckle. All of our correspondence, all of our teasing has lead to this movement. She wraps her arms around my neck and I place my hand on her waist. We kiss with the compassion of lovers. We continue into our night of passionate romance.
We engaged in a passion that I have never been able to experience before. It is there where we both shed our youth and became as men and women. I am glad I am with her. Her warmth and radiance is breathtaking. She is remarkably soft and gentle. I could never have imagined a more perfect woman to be so close to. Is this what love is? Spending your company unashamed with someone you deeply care about? I feel as though I belong to her and she belongs to me. We engaged in a passion that only God and the stars could see.
As we embrace in each others company she rests her head in my lap as we gaze up at stars, "Franz," she says "There is an apartment on fifth street that we could live in. You know maybe after the war and everything settles down a bit." "That would be nice." I replied. My mind flashes to a life living in a home with her and with children we do not yet have. The thought brings warmth to my mind as though it was a wonderful dream. A future that is yet to be, a future I want. Do I ask her to marry me? Is it not the right time? I feel so close to her, and she is the most wonderful girl I have ever met. Will any other be better than her? I don't have a ring, but I could always go get one. I decide to ask, "Irina, what if we …. uh.." I start to stammer. Irina asks," What if we did what Franz?" I lose my courage," Nevermind." I says abruptly. She asks, "What is it?" "Oh nothing." I say trying to conceal my embarrassment. I should have just said it. But what if she said no? I should have done it anyway." You know what, I will ask. With courage renewed I confidently ask, " Irina, why don't we get ..." Suddenly the sound of a dull explosion catches our attention, we both jerk upright from our relaxed state. Soon after the sound of an air raid siren shatters the night's peace. Its wailing is deafening even from out here at the castle. We look each other in the eyes and our eyes tell us the same thing. This can wait, we must find out what is happening.