Author's note:
This note is going to be different from the others. I received an interesting comment and rather than reply directly to his comment, I thought it would be more interesting to make an author's note because the vast majority of readers are silent, so there are surely other people who think the same thing without talking about it.
I received criticism on the MC:
About the fact that he makes a lot of mistakes, that he lacks logic, and that in short he is just plain stupid.
That normally an original main character in a fanfiction is usually an upgraded version of the original MC.
These are criticisms that I can hear and my story as well as my characters will not be able to please everyone, I do not question this judgment, I would just like to explain to you my point of view as well as the reasons which pushed to write the MC as well. I hope that after this explanation you will understand our MC a little better and be a little more forgiving towards him.
Let's start:
1) As for how many mistakes the MC makes that makes him look stupid:
I would first like to remind you that the MC is about ten years old if we compare him to a human, we can assume this thanks to his size: he is only 1.4 meters tall and elves generally have a taller and slender than humans. Elves have a very long lifespan and an elf of this age in the Eragon universe is believed to still be completely pure and innocent.
He is still only a very young child and therefore it is normal that without anyone to guide him, he makes so many mistakes.
From a screenplay point of view, I made the MC much more mature than he was supposed to be so that he was more pleasant to follow, so that he could survive and so that he could assume responsibility for Egan's survival and education. Moreover it is me who, voluntarily makes him make so many errors. Scenario speaking, either I take the time to explain each reasoning, each training, each evolution and skill gains or I impose tests on him.
If I go the first way (which I would have done initially) it will certainly make the story much more logical but it will also slow down the pace of the story a lot and the readers made it clear to me that it was becoming painful to read. If I go through the second path, I have to impose tests on it, whether they are dangers, errors or any other event that justifies the acquisition of new skills, a gain in maturity, new knowledge,...
If I don't do that, it's impossible to justify his evolution as a person and his evolution of power.
2) As for the MC's lack of logic
It was taken as an example in the review that the MC does not learn from his mistakes and that he no longer drains his energy to continue to increase his energy reserves.
I guess what he is accused of is his clumsiness with magic and despite everything, he keeps starting over. How stupid he hadn't thought about getting treatment before, this kind of inconsistency.
For those who are not familiar with the universe of Eragon or for those who have forgotten it. I would like to remind you how dangerous magic is. That the Elves took generations and generations to arrive at this mastery of magic. That there have been many deaths while testing the limits of magic and testing new paths (like healing for example).
That even the most experienced among them almost always use the ancient language to wield magic in order to avoid accidents with even the most basic of magic.
You may not have noticed but our MC does not use the ancient language to practice magic, he uses his thought which shows how abnormally talented he is in this exercise. It is not to be zealous that he does not use the ancient language, but simply because he does not know it.
He explores the paths of magic without any lair and without even being able to reproduce what he has seen since no one is there to guide him. He hasn't seen anyone cured with magic, he's not even aware that it's possible.
If there would be one stupid thing in this story it's the fact that he injured himself so superficially in such a dangerous and advanced practice of magick as healing but I guess you can attribute that to his talent or if it looks too big to you so you can attribute it to that famous MC plot armor ^^.
As for the fact that he no longer drains his energy. He always does it but only after draining physical forces. If we keep to a certain logic, he is not perfect and he could have gotten tired of his training by neglecting this part for a while. But he continues to do so for the sake of Egan, to be able to protect him and to continue to be able to provide him with energy. I did not insist on this fact because it seemed logical to me (so it may well be my fault) and I am trying to increase the pace.
3) As for the fact that an original MC should normally be an improved version of the original one.
I disagree on this point, even if in this story this argument is valid, a weaker mc will encounter more problems and difficulties than an ultra powerful genius capable of confronting an army. Being able to find out what kinds of unprecedented difficulties he will face and how he will overcome these trials that the original MC did not have to endure has the potential to be particularly interesting if told well.
Moreover, in our case, I want to remind you how stupid, impulsive and immature Eragon was when his story began and that even afterwards his flaws never completely disappeared. His flaws have been worked on but he has repeatedly shown a stupid and irresponsible impulsiveness that often nearly cost him his life.
But it's normal since he is human and he is not perfect, moreover he was only a simple and young boy of 16 years old. The difference between him and my MC is that Eragon has always been guided throughout his story.
He was first guided by Saphira when she was really very young, Saphira was always much too mature and intelligent which was illogical but it was a scriptwriting need to compensate for Eragon's faults and weaknesses. .
Then Brom guided him, then Arya, then Oromis and Glaedr also helped him. In addition he was helped by many other characters: Angela, the resistance, Orik , ect ….
I thank this reader again for his criticism, exposing my point of view on an entire chapter is not done with the aim of discriminating his opinion or his criticisms. I'm just trying to expose all the reasons that lead to this result so that people understand this story better and to be able to make it more believable. If people are not convinced or if my explanation is flawed then so be it. I myself am far from perfect, I am completely an amateur and have not done any writing studies, moreover this is the first time that I have tried to write a story so I am well aware that my story is far from perfect.
I hope my arguments have helped you to better understand our MC and to be a little more lenient with his flaws.
Thank you for continuing to give me your opinions because there may be opinions that will show faults that I did not notice and that will help me to improve this story as best as possible.
PS: This post won't take the place of a real chapter that will come out nicely today, it just gave me more work.