After dropping him off in our nest, I spent the night with my brother, hoping he would recover physically and that his spirit would come back to me as well.
His naked body is completely emaciated, he has only skin and bones. His condition hasn't improved overnight and I don't think he's on the road to recovery but rather on the road to death. He won't last long in this state.
I would dream of running away from responsibility for my brother's life, of being able to make the decision to choose what to do later hoping that his situation will work out only I know that if I don't act very quickly, I won't be able to act anymore at all.
It's a new fear that I discover. I hate that feeling, I hate having the decision making power that can lead his down the path of life or death. I just discovered that I hate responsibilities!
Being responsible for his health chills my blood. I'm the only one capable of helping him, but it's much more likely that I condemn him or that I don't completely heal him.
If I do nothing he will die, this fact lightens the burden on my conscience because in reality I don't really have a choice, if I do nothing he dies so even if I cheat, it cannot not make matters worse.
I do have an idea that could help him, but I've never tried what I'm about to do: give him energy in turn to help him recover.
I watched my brother for a long time, I watched and experienced his training, I visited his memories to understand how he uses his magic. I managed to replicate some of his abilities like expanding my mind and moving my energy within my own body. Only I've never been able to convert it into magic like he does so easily.
I even managed to develop new abilities by mastering the manipulation of energy in my body. I am theoretically able to transmit my energy to him but I never tried because I never needed it.
With nothing to lose, I stretch my claw to his forehead and direct a thin stream of energy there. My claw then quickly begins to shine with a slight halo. It's a good sign since for now everything is happening as usual, at least visually since I'm usually the receiver and not the giver so I can't be sure.
When I feel the energy concentrated at the end of my claw passed through his body, I regain hope and very slightly increase the concentration of energy as he does to increase its efficiency.
Once I feel discomfort due to the excessive concentration of energy in my claw, I decrease the flow and once the discomfort is gone, I know that this flow is the best I can do for the instant.
Luckily he gave me energy during his nightmare mode otherwise I wouldn't have been able to last long.
I was able to last a day without really noticing any improvement, but his condition did not get worse during the energy donation, so it was still a small victory. Giving up so much energy makes me sleepy and nauseous, plus the hunger twists my stomach.
If I want to be able to help him again tomorrow, I'm going to have to eat and sleep to recover my strength.
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It has now been a week since I returned to our nest with the little protector. The days are alike. I donated my energy to him every day before going hunting and then sleeping. This same cycle has been repeated for a week now.
My mastery of this ability has increased a lot and I need less and less concentration to maintain the energy gift.
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A month, it's been a month and he hasn't woken up. His body now seems healthy if we forget his sickly thinness. He has at least regained some color, his features are no longer drawn and no longer seem about to die.
I can now manipulate my energy without really paying attention to it, my willpower is enough. This freed my mind from this tension and the fear of seeing it die. Once this chain of madness passed, I had a lot of time to think these last weeks.
The events have dealt a serious blow to my morale and with the condition of my brother who hardly improves as well as the loneliness in which I found myself did not help me. A memory came back to me during one of the many times my mind wandered.
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The little elf stared at me with a serious air while continuing his speech:
"Every day you survive, you get stronger. Don't run away as a defeat or a shame. Because in your case if you survive one more day, it's your victory. Keep that in mind Egan! And if your pride can't bear to run away think like a winner: every escape, every defeat, every humiliation hold them back and swallow your resentment because you have an Egan power. »
"The power of infinite potential!" Every day you become stronger, smarter, wiser. Then there will come a day when you can inflict the punishment you want on each of the beings who have inflicted this shame on you. »
"Don't forget Egan a dead man loses everything, survival is a victory even if it's bitter. This is a truth especially true for you."
"If you haven't understood everything, remember what I have just told you and try not to forget it, you will understand quite quickly. »
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I don't know why this memory came back to me at the time but it made me chuckle bitterly.
What if the being who inflicted the greatest shame on me happens to be myself? Simple birds shot me down without my being able to put up the slightest resistance and my weakness still led you to have to come and rescue me. Now that I've had time to think about it all, it's probably the vision of me being shot to the ground with predators trying to use my carcass as a meal that must have triggered your fury.
Shame overwhelms me a little more, seeing the state in which it has led you. I don't know what happened for you to undergo such a transformation, but every time you get hurt or take risks, it's always for me.
Even unconscious, I have the impression that he communicates with me because another of my memories comes to mind.
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I'm eating the meal he offered me when I hear the voice of my little protector:
"Glad you chose me as your partner, I could have been that panther if you had attacked me in the tree"
"Thank you for choosing me little dragon, I will try to be worthy to be the companion of a dragon"
I remember that day very well since it was the day he gave me a name, something he himself does not have and he never bothered to give himself a new name. despite the pain he showed not even remembering his own name. He didn't do it for himself but he did it for me.
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Another bitter chuckle escapes me. Will you try to prove yourself worthy of me? What joke !
I haven't done anything yet to repay you for everything you've done for me. You always put me first, you always thought of my well-being before yours. That's why you took the title of little protector in my heart.
Even in your nightmare state, when I was only inspired by terror and you didn't seem to have any control, any awareness. Even in that moment when you were so unrecognizable, you healed me... You burned everything within your reach, the world was on fire! But me, you cared for me...
In what world is it up to you to prove yourself worthy of being my partner?
Maybe that's true of any other elf, a tiny biped being the equal of a dragon? It looks like a joke. Even in my state of disgrace, I refuse to believe that an elf can be my equal. However you are different, I don't really see you as just a little biped and I never have.
There's one thing I'm sure of, if I had to choose a mate then I wouldn't have chosen anyone but you to hatch. I would have waited for you until the end of time to have the chance to be your partner.
You never had the chance or the choice to be my partner, you were meant for me!
Just look what it brings you to be my destiny. See what state you are in...