But before that, he needed to straighten all his facts.
He was Caelus, not Sho.
Even when he tried his hardest, he couldn't really run away from who he really is.
However, that didn't mean he would go back to the way he was.
*Caelus… I don't know what I went through, but I'll use those experiences to be better. I'm still afraid of what might be waiting for me or what all my memories contain.*
*But I promise myself, I won't lose myself once again. I won't destroy everything because of failure.*
To be honest, now that he was seeing everything from a different perspective, he understood why he broke down. It seemed that he lost everything. And from a peaceful life, the world became hell. There was no support he got. He was all alone fighting a battle against who knows how many.
It was reasonable to lose sanity. However, he didn't lose his sanity entirely. He knew he was battling to protect. However, there seemed to be a last string that was cut. And Caelus who was already losing sanity was pushed towards real insanity.
Without succeeding to protect, he decided he would be a villain and destroy everything instead.
*I won't take the same steps I did in my previous life.*
*I might not be Sho, but I'll live my life not to shame myself, people I previously cherished and Sho.*
*I took Sho's body forcefully. That's a fact. I'm the one living now. I'm the one breathing. I won't make excuses for myself anymore. Even when everything seems chaotic, I'll hold onto myself this time. No matter what fight is waiting for me, I'll fight it out to survive.*
*This is the only way I can repay all those who were sacrificed because of me.*
*This is also the only way I can get all my answers.*
He sighed.
He was still grieving for Alpha. But he couldn't grieve forever.
If he has time, then he would use it to be stronger!
The Super Phenomena… it was just starting. He couldn't remember for how long, but his previous world had experienced it for some years. And according to the information Sanctuary gave that he still could remember, it usually takes a couple of years before some world would fail.
The reason for failure? Instability of everything.
For that, he should look into how to establish stability. Only then would they survive.
But since everything was just starting, it meant the two worlds were still unstable. He was lucky to have Sanctuary Shelter that wouldn't be affected by the outside instability. But still, it was not enough. From what Sanctuary said, the world right now is too unstable. Chaos and killing was everywhere. If left alone, the Super Phenomena would fail and all residents would also die along with the failure of merging of two worlds.
Aside from that, there were the other Natives of the other world. He didn't know about them, so he needed information.
From Caelus' memories, his world and the other world warred against each other. He couldn't remember their race, but the bodies Caelus killed were clearly not humans.
Although there was war, it was actually stable enough for humans and the other race to have separate camps. The Super Phenomena also proceeded for years which he could not remember how many.
But the main point was that the world became stable enough that they had lived longer than other worlds.
He could only hope that humans would have mental stability after some time. They needed to group up to fight.
"Wait… when did Alpha make contact with his Contractor and the Shelter? At first, I thought it should've been like how we were able to clear Hidden Quest Zones before the Super Phenomena happened. But thinking about it now, it's impossible. Alpha couldn't buy Inventory even when it's only 10 GP.
"Sanctuary, when did you meet Alpha?" He was hoping that Sanctuary would know.
[I'm sorry, Your Majesty, that information is classified.]
"Even when I'm the owner of the Sanctuary Shelter now, I'm still unable to access that information?"
[Yes. It's the previous owner's last wishes.]
*Alpha… I regret not asking you all those things. Even if you couldn't answer them, I should've asked. Now, I can't ask you anymore.*
It was true that regret comes to chances you didn't take.
"Haah."
But now, it is all too late.
"Focus. I need to get all the information I have to straighten my mind.
"I have so much baggage I've been putting off ever since I've entered Sho's body. And when my skill stopped working it really fucked me up. I was so reliant on pushing things at the back of my mind that it bit me when I least expected.
"Yes, I'm from another world. I'm not from here and there's a high possibility that the world where I came from has already been destroyed… I-it's also possible that I don't have anyone to protect anymore. I don't have a home anymore…"
He felt silent. He felt the pessimist future he had.
He heaved a loud sigh.
"But so what? If I don't have a home there anymore, I'll make this my home. I took over someone else's body just to be alive. I might be the bad guy here. But I'm sorry Sho, I'll look over your best friend from now on. I'll be a good guy, so… r-rest in peace and forgive me. Or maybe, don't forgive me."
It was selfish, he knew it. But what could he do? He couldn't even remember everything. He didn't know why he was desperately clinging to life. However, he couldn't bring back the dead or he couldn't bring back time. He just could only move forward.
He needed to toughen his resolve because it was just the beginning.
"I need to continue forward. If the reason I am here is to fight. Then I'll continue to fight. Until I have all my memories back. If the Tanzanite Rank is needed for me to do that, then I'll get stronger! I'll increase my rank!"
But there's another thing that he noticed now that he was thinking about it. Sho's glitches were his own, that's why he was having hard time using them. It was not his. The skill was rejecting him. Except for that time when it pointed out who he was.
Overview and Mental Barrier were clearly what Sho was gifted. While he was more proficient with Qi. He also saw some fragments of him using Qi in his "dreams" and damn, he was more than proficient.
However, as he was now, he couldn't use it as perfectly as before. He needed to strengthen his Qi step by step to be the monster he was once.
As for the Virus…
"Virus…"
<...>
"...?"
He waited for one minute before trying again. Just like before, he didn't get any reaction.
"How about the Spirit?"
<...>
He tried and tried but both weren't reacting. The only conclusion he could make is that the Spirit is currently locked. And from his memory, Alpha said he couldn't handle the Spirit for now. Maybe that was the reason.
However, he couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation for the Virus.
*Would it only work when I'm in danger? My dreams or fragments of my memories don't have anything that pointed out the Virus. Is this really for Sho? But it also recognizes me and saves me…*
"Ahhh! There's no point thinking about things I can't get answers to."
He could only sigh and proceed to tackle the next thing he needed to decide.
"So… the real question is… should I wander outside now?"
He thought about it. Now that he had a safe place, shouldn't he open it up to everyone? To do that, he needed to go out…
However, he knew he was not strong enough. The helplessness he felt was just too much for him to go through again.
If he was in an anime, manga or novel, this would be the training arc.
"Yes. I need to be stronger. At least, I need to be strong enough to protect myself before I go out."