Chereads / I Thought He Was Mine / Chapter 20 - Thanks.

Chapter 20 - Thanks.

"Syd?..." Ellie called, holding the door handle after she opened the door, and looked into Sydney's room to find her. She must be in here somewhere, hitting her head against the wall. That is what was making the thumping sound, which could be heard from downstairs. 

Judging from the impact and the loud sound, her head must be bruised by now. 

"Stupid, so stupid, stupid, so stupid…"

"You are not stupid, Syd, you are not" Ellie rushed in quickly when she saw Sydney standing in front of the wall. She used her palm as a shield, to stop her from hitting her forehead against the wall continuously and making a thumping sound. 

It was reverberating loudly across the entire house and it was quite disturbing. 

"Get lost, Ellie. Take your hand out of the way, I need to do this" Sydney tried to take Ellie's hand off her forehead to continue with what she was doing. 

"Do what, Syd? Roman is down there in the living room and I'm pretty sure he'll be wondering what is going on in his mom's room. I had to come upstairs because I kept hearing the noise coming from your room, and I hoped that this wouldn't be what you were doing. You are hurting yourself, Syd. Can't you see it?"

Ellie forcefully dragged Sydney away from 

the wall, since she struggled with her to be let go. She guided her to the bed and made her sit on it. 

"What is it this time? Look at how red your forehead is like Roman's girlfriend and it's all bruised. Doesn't that hurt?" Ellie tried to touch the bruise on Sydney's forehead, but she grabbed her hand and put it back down before she could do that. 

"Don't worry yourself, I'm fine. I feel better when I punish myself" Sydney confessed and lay on her side on the bed, she dragged her knees up to her chest, softly kicking Ellie away to create a little distance between them. 

"You really do feel better when you punish yourself, don't you?" Ellie expressed sarcastically, imitating Sydney just the way she said that. 

"No, I think I do for real, ouch.." Sydney groaned in pain when she touched her forehead and felt the bruise there. It's supposed to have started healing already, but the hurt doesn't seem to be gone yet. 

She inflicted this injury on herself, so she isn't going to act like it hurts like a b*tch. It does though, coupled with the headache that Shane caused her. He crossed paths with her and it got worse since he touched her as well.

"Oh God, you are so pathetic to be pitied, Syd" Ellie sighed, shaking her head in sympathy for Sydney lying on the bed helplessly and looking like a person, who would never be hopeful again for the rest of her life.

"Is it Shane? Are you bothered about him again? You did ignore him like you said you would. Why are you then lying like a person with no meaning in life? I don't know what it is you are thinking about, but if you are thinking that way. You know that Roman's…"

"Ellie, do you think that I should go home to see my parents before they divorce? If they haven't even done it already" Sydney laid straight and buried her face on the bed. 

Eliie didn't give a response to that immediately, thinking twice about it as she didn't see it coming. 

"Uhm, I don't know?... I don't really want to involve myself that much in your family business since I'm not part of you guys you know" Ellie said and shrugged after voicing out her opinion to Sydney. 

"You are part of my family, Ellie. You've been part of my family long ago. Starting the day I found you and took you in, you became part of my family so please just tell me what to do. I need to know if I'm doing the right or wrong thing" Sydney pleaded and sounded too desperate to hear what Ellie had to say on that. 

And for the second time, Eliie didn't immediately give her the reply she was looking for regarding what she said. She thought twice about it first before she spoke up. 

"To be honest, I don't actually know what to say to you, I don't feel like family to anyone in your family except you, Syd. And I don't think what you are asking to know from me should come from me. I'm an orphan, my parents are gone and I never fought with them like you always did with yours. If they were still alive, I don't think that I would miss any chance on this earth to see them, even if it's just once"

This dead cold silence befell the room without warning after Ellie made that known to Sydney. And she began to feel sad that she had to make Ellie remember her parents. No one likes it when they are forced to recall their dead loved ones without warning, right?

"Ugh, forget I asked that, I'm not going. I'm not doing that, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not ready to face my parents yet, especially my Mom" Sydney groaned and facepalmed. 

"So you are never going to meet them? Your Mom and Dad?" Ellie asked out of curiosity, she liked the way Sydney continued with the topic they were on before she brought up her dead parents. She didn't want anyone taking any kind of pity on her right now.

"I don't know about that yet, and I don't even know who or what I'm more worried about right now. Shane or our parents divorcing. It just gets worse thinking about both of them" 

"Then stop worrying about anything or you can keep worrying about everything, anyone that makes you feel better. You can feel better if you stop worrying or you can feel better if you keep worrying. It works out differently for everyone. Just don't hurt the wall again with that big head of yours. I'm going to go downstairs, Roman's all alone, I got to keep my eyes on him" 

Ellie stood from the bed to leave, she did well by coming to check on Sydney and was able to stop her from hurting herself. She was leaving with a smile on her face and stopped abruptly when Sydney called her before she could fully depart from the room. 

"Ellie?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks. I love you"

"Oh, you are so welcome and you know I certainly love you more"