"Be bold my dear. Enjoy life. Live, laugh and most of all learn. But don't forget the most important things in our lives and that is our ways, our values, our morals"-Love Mom
Even after moving away from home to start this new chapter in life, she still finds a way to do what she's best at, being a mom.
I read her note as I unpacked my suitcase whereby I've just relocated to move in with my cousin Lilaa where I'll be attending the same campus as her. I have a huge cocktail of emotions but I'm trying to keeping them intact.
Well I'm happy cause I have a chance to grow. Grow on my own. Understand the world on my own. Explore but most of all, get experience by being responsible, being bold .
Also I feel scared. The what ifs. The doubts of being successful. The doubts of being a good daughter, a good example, and great mentor .
There are a lot of rumours that my neighbours believe I'll mess up.By messing up I mean getting pregnant, quiting school and going back home and being what they call a burden and a disappointment to my family.
And if that's not the case they believe I'll be a drug addict, quit school, move back with my parents and still be a disappointment to my family. Either way they still don't except much from me. They don't expect success.
But still I had confidence that I will prove the society wrong and in the end be great in their eyes, and in the eyes of my family.
When your from an area that's surrounded by busy bodies, nosey neighbours and most of all unemployed housewives of course no-one will wish you well. You're always in their minds and their tongues. They are always waiting for you to fall and they will ensure you don't get back up again.
Where I'm from, when the daughter goes a stray it is always the mother's fault.
"You didn't teach your daughter well". Now that is a phrase that's common in my society. And yeah to me i think it is quite backward for people in the 21st century to be so narrow minded.
But when the girl becomes successful, all praises are given to the father. Yeah male chauvinism is that real in this part of the world but what can we do this is something passed from one generation to another from infancy.
So my cousin walks into the room and catches me lost in my own world. She snaps her fingures to bring me back to reality.
She is wild, outgoing, fearless and most of all cute and brainy at the same time.
She doesn't drink alcohol which today it's considered wiered.
She talks too much and if anyone messes with her, she doesn't let it go. She will give you a piece of her mind .
I guess in general we can say she is a complicated algebraic expression.
I never understand her. She can be mean but loving and although I view her as my cousin, she is more of my sister.
So she helps me unpack and she sees the sadness in my eyes.
"You already miss home?" she asks with a smark on her face.
"You just got here and the sadness that's written on your face shouts 'I'll never get to see my family again "
I laugh at her sarcasm and it brightens up my mood.
"You deserve a grand welcoming Lis"
"How will this town know that my favourite cousin is here?"
I raise an eyebrow cause we both know that
she's only trying to flatter me.
"Find something nice to wear....and please, I beg of you, we are not going to church and am not walking around with someone who looks like a nun so wear something that speaks your age Lis"
Everyone knows that I hate dressing up. I love buggy and comfortable clothes. Appropriate and decent . That's me.
If it were up to me I would wear a buggy t-shirt, sweat pants, socks and some crocks everyday for 365 days in a year and 366 days in a leap year.
Unlike other teenage girls who want to keep up with the latest fashion trends, well I'm different. My only interest in life is food. To me, it fixes everything and brings people together.
So I tried my best and I amazingly dress up like a normal teen who is going out to have some fun. Decent but cute.
So we go to a party and there is where I realize my cousin is so famous.
As I walked behind her, I realised that she is not the same person I've known all my life.
She is a socialite or what we like to call 'soshyy'.
Actually she is someone who lives a double life and she really knows how to balance them.
She can be a good family girl who every one loves and adores but still manages to be this cool party animal who has lots of friends and lights up every room she enters.
Then there's me. I hate being center of attention. No matter how many times you hurt me I'll never confront you. I'll allow you to trample over me. I'll laugh loudly even when my thoughts are squeezing my brain. No one suspects how the demons in my head are really tormenting me. I joke a lot so that no one can know I cried myself to sleep. Yeah, I pretty messed up but I just don't show it.
So we are in the party and it's so noisy. The excitement was off the roof. But I must say the songs were top of my playlist.
Mehn, the songs were classic. I was really eager to know who was behind the decks.
"Who's the DJ?" I ask Lilaa
"Why are you suddenly interested in knowing him?" she asks.
"I just like his mix," I defend myself.
"Well I'm sorry but no one knows him, he's a mystery to all of us."she says.
"So how is he playing his mix in this party if you don't know him?"
"But I'm just kidding, I think he's on the dancefloor or something, You want to see hi?"
"Not really I was just asking"
So she sees her friend and she goes to say Hi.
I then suddenly feel this tap on my back.
And when I turn and all I see is this guy with perfectly arranged teeth and a breath taking smile, beautiful eyes and has just the right height .
I froze for a minute trying to process what was happening. No one has ever tapped my shoulder apart from when he or she wants to be excused.
Then he snapped his figures on my face trying to bring me back to reality.
He says hi.
His deep voice make my knees weak.
"Hi, me?" I stammer.
"Yeah, You" he answers.
"Oh! okay , Hi to" I answer nervously.
"So your cousin just told me that you were looking for me"
"Oh! Did she? And who are you if I may ask?" I feel so guilty by asking him that question knowing very well that he's the DJ.
"Sorry, where are manners, I'm the DJ. but my name is Col."He tells me.
"Oh! You are the DJ?" I pretend to be surprised. "Well she exaggerated, I wasn't really looking for you I was just inquiring about the DJ," I answer him back.
"Okay, And you are?" he asks
"Sorry, I'm Liz" I tell him with a huge smile on my face.
So he start a conversation and he kindly he invites me for a drink but not that kind of drink cause I don't drink but we have some cold soda and some snacks.
It turns out that we do vibe.
I make him laugh but jeez he laughs at everything I say and I know I'm not that funny but I guess he's being polite.
He tells me a joke, I laugh even though I'm not getting it.
We then realise that many hours have passed by until Lilaa cames to get me so that we can go home .
He leans forward to hug me but I quickly shake his hand .
Well that handshake was a start of something good, something new. One of the best friendships I wish lasted longer.