The scholarship students' regular table was noticeably depleted that morning. Most of the ones there were from years above or below Alex's. The only year eleven there was Emilio, that goth girl named Olena, and two boys Alex recognized but didn't know the names of. Even Connor and the two girls Warren had started hanging out with were gone. Maya and Roxanne, he was pretty sure were their names.
Most old family kids hadn't taken the day, but the mood was still noticeably sombre among them. By then they had all heard enough rumors with one thing in common to figure out a student had died. From there all it took was a look at the scholarship students, their lack of numbers and the waves of anxiety and grief that rolled off them, to deduce that death had been amongst their ranks. Regardless of how any of the old family kids felt about their new classmates, it was always difficult being in such proximity to death. To be reminded of the fact that it comes at all ages.
Jack didn't flit around tables and socialize like he normally did. He just sat with Alex and ate half his usual portion of breakfast. When Warren arrived, he asked to join them, and Jack answered by pulling out the chair next to him. As the three of them sat in a slightly oppressive silence, Alex noticed there were a few pockets of old family kids who seemed completely unaffected by the atmosphere. Malcolm Greene and his friends. Hannah and hers. A couple groups of year 12s and year 13s. He shouldn't judge. None of them had known Baptiste. He had no way to tell what was going through their heads. But it made him a little sick, watching them act like nothing had happened. The thought that to them, nothing had.
Of course, everyone who was very clearly acting on edge wasn't doing wonders for his stomach either. Every time he glanced over at the scholarship students, he could swear they were staring at him. Glaring at him. Especially Emilio and Olena. He tried to convince himself it was in his head, but he couldn't quite manage it.
The only thing that distracted him was constantly turning his head to the hall's entrance to see if Matthew was coming in. He wasn't there when Alex and Jack arrived, and Alex was starting to wonder if he had changed his mind after visiting Ellie. Maybe he decided to spend the day with her instead. It was probably for the best he did.
Alex was checking the entrance for the sixth or seventh time when Jack suddenly spoke for the first time since they had sat down.
"Can we help you?" He said, his tone a mix of hostile and wary. Alex snapped his head around to see he had been talking to Emilio. While Alex's focus had been on the entry, he had moved from sitting at his table to standing right next to theirs.
Emilio didn't answer Jack. He wasn't even looking at him. His gaze was fixed squarely on Alex. He was glaring. That probably wasn't even a strong enough description.
"Well, Conrad?" Emilio said as if he was continuing a conversation instead of starting one. "How long does your clan plan on letting this... farsa go on?"
"What?" Alex said, his Spanish vocabulary loading for a second. Farsa. Farce. "What do you-"
"Para. Do not tell me you have no idea what I mean."
"He doesn't," Jack cut in. "So back off, dude."
"How stupid do you think I am?" Emilio continued, still solely focused on Alex. "How stupid do you think we all are? Do you think we have not realized what is going on? That you will be able to get away with covering this up? Maybe when the only casualty of your kind's bigotry and violence was a machine, but not this time. Property damage is one thing. Murder is another."
Alex flinched at the sound of that word. Sure, he had thought it a dozen times, but that was the first time he had spoken out loud.
"The police are still investigating," Warren cut in, his tone gentle. "None of us know-"
Emilio suddenly slammed his palm down on their table, so hard that all their dishware jumped from the force of it. Alex was so caught off by the sight and sound of it that he had to grab the table's edge to keep from falling out of his chair.
"¡Huevadas!" he shouted, finally ripping his glare away from Alex to shout at Warren. He drew the attention of just about everyone in the dining hall in the process. "They know. They know that it was one of you that killed him. And they will cover it up. To protect their kind. Their image." Emilio turned back to look at Alex, who couldn't help but shrink at the sight of him. No, glare was not a strong enough description at all. His eyes were filled with pure contempt. "Themselves, even. I would not be surprised if Conrad was responsible."
The air around Alex's body flared with heat at Emilio's insinuation. He felt a snap on his skull, just like that time with Samuel Argent in the locker room. Luckily, before he lost control like back then and did something he would regret, a familiar voice spoke up from behind him.
"Basta , Emilio," he said. "You're making an ass out of yourself."
Emilio's expression morphed into shock as he looked at who had spoken. Alex turned his head to see that while they had all been distracted, Matthew Montoya had arrived. He was standing right behind Alex, his arms crossed over his chest and his face set in an emotionless mask.
"What are you talking about? " Emilio said in Spanish so fast Alex could barely understand. "Do not tell me you believe that they-"
"What I believe is not the point," Matthew interrupted, matching his language. "Look around. This is not the time or place for you to cry conspiracy. Never mind the fact that Farrow is two seconds away from lighting you up like a Christmas tree."
Alex glanced at Jack. His expression had shifted to one a lot like Matthew's, and to most people, he probably looked bored over this whole interaction. But Alex knew apathy was only something he wore when he was massively pissed. Alex was surprised Matthew could read it accurately.
"You are not the biggest wyvern on campus anymore, man, " Matthew continued. "You keep forgetting that. But keep talking like you have been and one of their 'kind' won't hesitate to remind you."
Emilio clenched his fists and stared at Matthew in silence. Matthew stared back, completely unflinching. When Matthew had been bragging about his fighting prowess, Alex figured he was being a bit cheeky. Exaggerating, at least a little. But as he watched Matthew stare down someone over twice his size, Alex realized he had been surprisingly serious. After a few tense seconds, Emilio unclenched his fists and wordlessly went back to his table.
Once he was gone Matthew put a hand on Alex's shoulder. "You all good?" he said, addressing the table.
"No," Jack said at the same time Warren said, "Yes."
"I don't know what you told him," Jack added, "but I'm pretty sure it wasn't 'fuck off'. You should tell him to fuck off. Or let me punch him."
"He was very diplomatic, Jonathan," Warren said, though he looked a little disappointed Jack hadn't gotten to hit him too. "Thank you, Matthew."
"Don't mention it."
"Did you happen to stop off at McAvoy this morning? I wanted to check in on everyone, but I wasn't sure if I would be welcome."
"I did, but I didn't see anyone except Ellie. I'm going back after class, though. I'll find them and let them know you're thinking of them."
"Thank you."
Matthew glanced at his usual table. "I'm going to see if I can quell whatever the hell Emilio has been stirring up over there. I'll catch you guys later." Before he went, he leaned in a bit closer to Alex. "Try not to let what he said get to you, Allie. He cares more about proving a point than about Baptiste."
Alex managed a halfhearted nod, and Matthew squeezed his shoulder one time before heading to the scholarship students' table. Alex already didn't have much of an appetite, but after that, the sight of his mostly full plate made him sick.
"I can't believe that guy," Jack muttered as Alex pushed his food away from him. "Who the fuck does he think he is?"
"He's just scared, Jack," Alex said.
"Like he's the only one?"
"They've got a few more reasons to be than we do."
"The hell is wrong with you? He all but accused you of murder, why are you defending him?"
"Because he's not wrong," Alex said. "About my family. You know it. You didn't say it yesterday when I brought it up, but you know it's true. The truth- whatever it is- if it makes my family look bad, they'll try to cover it up. If it hurts their image. Their profits. That's all they care about. Not us. Certainly not them. How can we trust any statement they make? We've been privy to their bullshit all our lives. We-" Alex's voice faltered, and he squeezed his eyes shut as every lie his family peddled came to mind. Every secret they kept locked away. His father and his sickness. Amelie and her birth father. The incident at Ellie's party. Unflattering truths spun into prettier lies that Alex had never done a damn thing to unravel. "We tell the lies for them, sometimes. At the very least we don't do anything to stop them... He's not wrong. About them, or me."
Alex opened his eyes to look at Jack and Warren. He could tell they both wanted to argue, but neither of them knew how. Warren resigned himself to fiddling with his ring. Jack violently stabbed at the grapes on his plate without eating any of them. Alex tried not to look over at Matthew's table every other second. He didn't do a very good job.
Matthew was sitting with his back to them. The other scholarship students were all listening very intently to whatever he was saying. Now and then Olena or Emilio would interrupt him, maybe to ask a question. Whatever Matthew said back to them only ever seemed to make them angrier. At one point, Olena got up and stormed off, making a wide berth around Alex's table as she did. Matthew turned his head to watch her go and locked eyes with Alex. He held his gaze for a second and relayed a silent message. His mission to calm them down was not going well.
"You better have something real fucking important to say, Palmer," Jack said suddenly. Alex jumped when he looked to his left and saw Hannah had made herself comfortable in the chair next to him.
"Retract the talons, Jonathan," she said without looking at him. Her eyes were on Alex. "You guys can't put on a riveting drama like that and not expect to draw attention."
Alex glanced around to see a fair number of kids were still staring at their table, though most had the etiquette to at least try to act like they weren't.
" We didn't do anything," Warren reminded her. She moved her gaze to acknowledge him, but just barely. "And that boy is just upset. Rightly so. Someone died, Hannah."
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said in the most unapologetic tone one could manage. "Am I supposed to be donning my widow's weeds for some boy I've never met?"
"No one's asking you to. The least you can do is show some simple respect."
Hannah very respectfully rolled her eyes and looked back to Alex. "Did I hear right?" she said to him, putting a hand to the base of his neck to fiddle with his shorter curls. "He's crying murder?"
"I can't know what you heard, can I?" Alex answered, taking her hand off his neck and placing it on the table.
"Hm. Is that what it looked like?"
"What?"
"I noticed you left the dorm before Ren called in his campus security reinforcements. You saw the body, didn't you? Did it look like murder to you?"
"Why do you care, Nancy Drew?" Jack said.
"Hey, if a murderer is running around campus, I think I have cause for concern. Unless, of course, there's a specific reason that a French boy was targeted. Something that wouldn't apply to me. His gender. Nationality. Bloodline. Well, lack of bloodline in his case, I guess."
"Piss off, Hannah," Warren snapped. Alex was sure it was the first time he had heard Warren take a tone like that. Hannah acted like it was new to her, too.
"Wow, Ren," she said. "Your new boyfriend is having quite a negative influence on you, isn't he? Or is it one of those girls that you're shagging? I never could get a read on your preferences. Hell, maybe you just take all three at once."
Warren's expression darkened. "Not all of us only see value in people we want to fuck, Hannah," he said. Hannah just raised an eyebrow and smiled.
"I'm only teasing, Ren. Calm down," she said, leaning in closer to Alex. "Got a little too close to the truth with that one, I think," she whispered to him, her breath-like needles on his skin.
"Do you need something else, Hannah?" Alex said, pulling away from her. Hannah sighed and got up.
"I can tell when I'm not wanted," she said, putting her hand back on Alex's neck. Instead of just fiddling with his curls she threaded her fingers through them, forcing him to pull his head back lest she rip them out. "You know I read a novel once where the police consulted a psychic to help them on a murder case," she said to Alex specifically, using her grip to make him look into her eyes. They were filled with what he could only describe as gleeful cruelty. "What if you call up your father and see if he can shed some light on this little tragedy? Maybe he can find the killer in his crystal ball."
Alex's body surged with a heat so intense that Hannah had to feel uncomfortable. But she didn't even flinch. The only thing that gave away she felt anything was that her mouth ticked upwards into a satisfied smile.
"Go, Palmer," Jack said, more forcefully than before. "Now."
Hannah held on too tightly to Alex's hair for a second before letting go. She ran her too-long nails along his neck in a way that felt like spiders, then pulled her hand away before Alex reflexively reached up to swat it away. Warren and Jack both glared at Hannah as she made her way back to her table full of giggling friends.
"I don't think I want to be a pacifist anymore," Warren muttered.
"The worst part is she likes it when you get mad," Jack said, stabbing his last surviving grape. "Fucking sadist... You good, Al?"
Alex rubbed his neck at the spot where Hannah's nails had grazed him as if that would get rid of that feeling of phantom spiders and watched her until she was back with her group. The twins looked delighted by Hannah's teasing. Andrew had been replaced by a year 12 boy named Kevin. Isaac no longer seemed to care that his cousin was not with them.
"No, I'm not," he said, turning his head back to stare at his cup of tea on the table. It had gone cold while they all moped, but he picked it up and drank about half of it with a grimace. "But that's nothing new, is it?"