Laurent was already sitting at his lab table when Alex and Jack arrived at their chemistry class. He looked agitated, and his leg was bouncing erratically under his table like he had drunk way too much coffee that morning.
"Lexi," he shout-whispered as soon as Alex and Jack sat beside him.
"Christ, Lauren," Jack said, pulling out the nickname he usually reserved when he wanted Laurent to shut up. "Dial the manic energy back a couple of notches."
Laurent ignored him, leaning over his table to direct a slightly quieter whisper at Alex. "Did you talk to my father at all this weekend?"
"No," Alex said, matching his volume without knowing why. "Why would I?"
"So, he hasn't told you what's going on with that dead kid either?"
"No. And his name is Baptiste."
Laurent's face scrunched up. "You said he didn't tell you anything!"
"Laurent. Cool it," Jack said, pushing him back so he wasn't so close. "Drop your daddy issues and give him some space."
Laurent flinched as a strange look passed over his face. Before Alex could put a name to it, it was gone. Replaced by annoyance. He wordlessly sat back on his barstool and pretended to look busy reading his textbook.
"That was harsh," Alex whispered to Jack as he turned to face the front.
Jack raised an eyebrow at him. "You're in a weird state today," he observed, though he couldn't quite hide the bit of guilt he felt over the quip from showing on his face. "Why would he ever deserve your pity?"
Alex didn't answer him. Instead, he turned to talk to Laurent again. He put his hand on his cousin's lab table, but Laurent didn't look up from his book.
"I know his name because I knew him," Alex explained even though Laurent was still acting like he couldn't hear him. "He was friends with Matthew Montoya. And I... I saw him. In the courtyard, on Friday."
That made Laurent look up. "What?" he breathed out.
"I got there before Thomas did. Before the lockdown and the police. I saw him, and I knew him."
"What did... What did it look like?"
"A dead child," AJ snapped. Nope, that was Alex again. Should he be worried that had happened twice now?
Laurent stiffened at his tone. "I meant... Right. Okay... S-sorry."
That's a new one AJ commented. I didn't think that word was in his lexicon.
"I know as much as you do, beyond that," Alex said, softening his tone.
"Honest?"
"Why would I lie, Laurent?"
"I don't know. He... he talks to you more than us, you know. Usually, when he does talk to us it's because it has something to do with you. You're the important one, after all." Alex blinked, not quite sure how to respond to that. Laurent suddenly looked embarrassed, like he hadn't meant to say all that. Before Alex could think up his response, Laurent swatted the hand he still had on the table. "Forget it, Lexi. I believe you. You're a shite liar anyways."
Just drop it, mate, AJ said as Alex was tempted to keep the conversation going. For once, he figured AJ had the right idea. So, he turned around to face the front along with Jack.
"Well, that was a lovely olive branch," Jack commented. "Shame he torched it."
"I should have known better," Alex muttered, trying to ignore the churning in his stomach that Laurent's words had caused. Tried to ignore the memory that had become so familiar thanks to his breathing exercise. The image of that little kid with a bruised-up face, and the fact that he had grown into the slightly less little kid behind him. For some reason still desperate for his father's cruel attention.
Most of Alex's other morning classes managed to be uneventful. At lunch, Alex noticed some of the scholarship students who had been at breakfast were gone. Olena was one of them. Matthew was too, but he could have just been taking his break with Ellie. Alex noticed he had done that a few times, those days when Baptiste hadn't felt well enough to go to his classes. Maybe Alex would see him at PE. Half of him hoped he wouldn't. That he would go get some rest. Save himself from this suffocating atmosphere that had settled over campus. But his other half hoped he would. Because... Well, he was just really hoping to see him again, wasn't he?
Emilio was still at the table. Still glaring at Alex every chance he got. He was going to be in their PE class too. Maybe Matthew could also help them from killing each other.
The art was pretty depressing. Jack and Alex both paused to look at Ellie's empty chair when they arrived. Jack picked up the stool and easel he usually used and moved them to Warren's left, where there was just barely enough room for them. Their professor gave him a weird look but didn't say anything about him rearranging her classroom.
Matthew was in the locker room when Alex and Jack got to PE. So was Emilio. But they weren't talking to each other. They weren't even standing near each other. Matthew was on the floor by Coach Sanders' office, tying the laces of his trainers.
"It's Endurance Run, Part 2 today boys," Coach Sanders announced when most of the class was there. "Everyone who beats their number of laps from last time gets one free pass to ditch my class." He pointed at Jack, Matthew, and Emilio. "You three need a dictionary before we start?"
Matthew and Jack shook their heads while Emilio just rolled his eyes and walked out.
"How's your day been?" Matthew asked Alex once he got to his feet.
"Long," Alex answered. "Yours?"
"I've discovered a new circle of hell," Matthew said, leaning close to point across the room. To Samuel Argent and his friends. Every so often they would glance over with weird looks on their faces, one Alex couldn't figure out the meaning of until Matthew put the name to it. "It's when people who hate you look at you like they feel bad for you. It's been happening all day. I'd rather one of them came over and called me a slur than look at me like that."
"It'll pass soon enough," Jack said. "Our attention spans are short. Give it a week."
"Are you..." Alex started to ask but stopped when he felt stupid. Are you okay? Really? AJ chided. What do you think?
Matthew managed a smile for a second and bumped Alex lightly with his shoulder. "I am what I am right now," he said quietly. "I'll be something else tomorrow, probably." He pulled away and spoke his next words louder, in a bit of a lighter tone. "And I'm gonna make sure I beat you this time around. Hey, Coach! You said all I gotta do is better than last time, right?"
"You have to do at least double, Montoya," Sanders answered.
"What? That's not fair!"
PE managed to go relatively smoothly, but Alex flinched every time Emilio lapped him on the track. He was pretty sure he was running slightly too close on purpose. French was fun, for once. Madame Montgomery called on Matthew a bunch of times when they were going over their homework assignment in class. Thanks to Alex's help he got all the answers right, though his accent was worse than it had been when it was just the two of them.
"Were you doing a bad accent on purpose?" Alex asked as they left together.
"What?" he said, pretending to be scandalized. "I would never."
Alex's usual routine after class was to head to the library to work on his assignments until supper. He didn't realize Matthew was following him there at first. They took the long way around, to avoid the courtyard. It had been freed from the police tape sometime over the weekend, but Alex did not attempt to go near it. He figured Matthew was just doing the same thing for the same reason, but at the point where he should have split off to go back to the dorms, he stuck with Alex.
"Are you not going back to the dorm?" Alex asked. "Or to Ellie's?"
Matthew shook his head. "I saw Ellie at lunch," he explained. "I don't want to smother her. Besides, I looked at the questions Baxter assigned tonight. If I don't help you, you'll be at the library all night."
"Helping is not the same thing as cheating. I'm not going to copy your answers."
"Hm. We'll see if you're singing the same tune when you see them."
Alex only managed to get two of his chemistry questions done. Partly because Matthew was right. They were very difficult, and Alex was garbage at chemistry. But it was mostly because Matthew was kind of garbage at tutoring. When he wasn't begging Alex to let him tell him the answers, he was getting distracted. Usually, he would make a pop culture reference and spend several minutes expressing bewilderment that Alex didn't know what he was talking about. At one point Matthew completely abandoned the mission of finishing the assignment and just started listing off various topics like a trivia show host to see if Alex had heard of them. Every time he said no, Matthew said he would add it to some imaginary list.
"I'm sorry, you don't know Sesame Street?" Matthew shouted after Alex said "No, I don't know that" for the tenth time. He brought his volume back down when the librarian chided him from her desk. "How the hell do you not know Sesame Street?"
"Is it in Los Angeles?" Alex asked, not sure why it made Matthew laugh so much. His confusion mixed with embarrassment helped distract him from how adorable Matthew's cackle sounded. The librarian was not as enamoured with it as he was, though.
"Mr. Conrad," she called out. "Either stop bringing your friends in here or start looking for a new study spot."
"Sorry, Ms. Turner," Alex said as Matthew desperately tried to stifle his laughing. "Why is that so funny? Where is it?"
"On a sound stage in New York," Matthew said through his diminishing giggles. "Because it's a fucking TV show."
Alex's heat surged slightly as his embarrassment eclipsed his confusion. He lightly smacked Matthew's shoulder. "Stop laughing. I already told you I don't watch TV."
"But it's Sesame Street," Matthew said once he composed himself slightly.
"What's it about?"
"It's a kids' show. Teaches like, the alphabet and shit. You know, I think it doesn't air in the UK."
"Then how could I possibly know it?"
"Ellie does! It's an institution!"
"Maybe it's not as culturally significant as you think it is."
Matthew poked Alex in the chest. "You'd best not speak on matters you know nothing about, you jerk."
"Right. Sorry."
"Please tell me you at least know The Muppets."
"... Puppets? I know what puppets are."
"Muppets. With an M. The Muppet Show? Jim Henson!"
"Oh. No."
"Oh my God," Matthew said, putting his head in his hands. "You don't know who Kermit the Frog is, do you?"
"Cram it?"
Matthew lunged for his bag suddenly, rifling around until he found what he was looking for. He pulled out a tiny felt frog and slammed it down on the table as hard as he could without drawing more attention from Ms Turner.
"Kermit," he said slowly. "This green little fucker. You've never seen this frog before?"
Alex picked up the toy and looked at it more closely. He was bipedal, with a collar of triangles around his neck and a felt banjo in his hands.
"Oh, this is the frog from your shirts," Alex said. "And he's in your pyjamas too, right? I figured he was from something."
"Oh my God," Matthew repeated, looking defeated for the first time. "Oh my God."
"Why do you have this in your bookbag?"
Matthew blinked at Alex for a couple of seconds before suddenly getting flustered. "My mom gave him to me," he mumbled, snatching it from Alex's hand. "As a good luck charm."
"And you always carry it with you?"
"Don't you have chemistry homework to suck at?"
"You don't need to be embarrassed. It's... sweet."
"Shut up," Matthew said, slightly turtling into his shirt collar. "Your answer to the first question is wrong, by the way. Oxygen always needs to be written as O2."
"That's why I kept getting those wrong?"
"Do you listen in class? Like, ever?"
"You thought eau de toilette meant toilet water."
"It does!"
"Not literally!"
"Get out, Mr. Conrad," Ms. Turner shouted.
Luckily Matthew had wasted so much of their time that supper had started already anyway. The two gathered their things and made their way out, apologizing to an unimpressed Ms Turner as they went. They took the long way around to the dining hall again, and when they got there the room was a lot more bustling than it had been at breakfast and lunch. Alex noticed even more scholarship students were gone, but those who were there were all heatedly discussing something. Old family students flitted around from table to table like they were playing a very chaotic game of Telephone.
The air felt different too. Slightly more charged. Less sombre. More agitated. Alex had a feeling Matthew noticed it too. He stuck by Alex's side as the two went to his usual table. Warren and Jack were there, but so were Mary Somers and her little cousin Charlotte. Warren and the girls were all standing behind Jack, who was sitting in a chair while they all looked down at something on the table in front of him. When they got close Alex could see Jack looked extremely displeased.
"What's going on?" Alex said, and everyone but Jack looked up from the table.
"Hi, Alexander," Mary said, her voice a little tight. She walked over and held out a hand to Matthew. "And... your name is Matthew, right?"
"Yeah," Matthew said, his voice a little wary. He took her hand, but the movement of their handshake looked awkward. Like neither of them had ever shook a stranger's hand before.
"I'm Mary."
"I know. We're in the same music theory class."
"Right."
"What are you all looking at?" Matthew stepped closer to the table. "Is that a newspaper?"
"Yes. I got permission to take my cousin off campus over the weekend. To her parents who live in Southampton. She was a bit distressed, because..."
Mary trailed off, so Charlotte stepped forward to finish for her. "I saw him," she said in a small voice. "On Friday. Your friend who died."
Matthew stiffened slightly as he stared down at this girl. She was so much smaller than Alex remembered them being when they were in year seven. Were they only four years older than her?
"Me too," Matthew finally said. Charlotte looked up at him blankly for a second, before shooting forward and wrapping him in a tight hug. Her head hardly came up to his chest. Matthew's eyes flashed with surprise, but he didn't hesitate to hug her back.
"We got back into Brighton this afternoon," Mary continued to explain while Charlotte kept hanging on to Matthew. "Stopped for a bite at that burger shop everyone likes. I noticed the weekly paper on sale nearby and wondered if they had reported on what happened."
Matthew's eyes shot to the paper that Jack was still bent over. "Did they?"
"Yes."
"It's... It's not great, Matthew," Warren said, his expression pained. Matthew ignored him.
"Let me see, Farrow."
Jack looked up for the first time, and Alex could tell he wanted to say no. But instead, he folded up the paper and handed it over, pointing to a tiny article beneath the fold. Mary pried Charlotte off Matthew so he could more easily read it. He held it high enough for Alex to be able to see it over his shoulder. The small headline alone made Alex look away immediately.
No Foul Play Suspected in Death of Local Boarding School Student.
"Brighton police are investigating the death of an unnamed student from Conrad International Preparatory Academy that occurred early Friday morning," Matthew read, somehow managing to keep his voice from shaking. "In a statement to press on Sunday evening, Chief Inspector Harris stated they have not found any evidence of foul play, and the death is likely the result of an accident."
"How could it have been an accident?" Charlotte said, covering her eyes. Alex had a feeling she was seeing him again. "He could've flown away."
"The police don't know that Charlie," Mary said gently. "We can't exactly tell them that, either."
"Someone told the police that the roof of Timber Hall is a popular spot for couples," Warren said as Matthew scanned the rest of the article. "A teacher, maybe. Or someone in the administration. They think he went up there to meet someone. Fell by accident. Like Mary said, they don't know why that doesn't make sense."
Matthew's grip on the paper tightened. "The hell does 'investigating' mean to them?" He muttered. "They never even interviewed us."
"All they had to investigate was the money the Conrads put in their pockets," a familiarly accented voice piped in from behind the girls. They turned to see Emilio, looking even more pissed than he had been that morning.
"No one is in the mood, Emi," Matthew said. Emilio surged forward so fast that Mary barely had time to get herself and Charlotte out of his path.
"Why are you defending them?" he shouted, shoving a finger into Matthew's chest. Matthew easily shoved him away. Maybe he was stronger than he looked.
"Watch it, dude! You almost trampled a little kid!"
Emilio ignored him and ripped the newspaper out of his hands. "You telling me this is the truth? He tripped and fell and somehow did not remember he was a dragon before he hit the ground?"
"I didn't say that."
"Then what? If it was not murder and it was not an accident, then what is left? Suicide?" He spread out his arm to gesture at the dining room, almost hitting Mary in the process. Warren pulled the girls further away and stood in front of them like a protective shield. A fair number of the other students had paused their gossip to watch the show. "That is what they all think. What they have been saying for the past hour. That Baptiste was weak and pathetic. That he killed himself because he was so overcome with the realization of his inferiority. Is that what you think? Has living with this..." He held out and hand toward Alex, for a moment at a loss for what to call him. "This thing infected your brain?"
"Lay off him, Emilio," Matthew warned. "The only reason you feel big enough to talk to him like that is because even your thick head can tell he's not the kind of guy who would retaliate. Keep pushing me and you'll discover I'm not so kind."
Emilio stepped even closer to Matthew, forcing him to crane his neck upwards to keep looking him in the eye. "You think I could be afraid of you, pintamonas?" He said, his tone making Alex's insides go cold. He was convinced one of them was going to throw a punch, but Emilio suddenly moved backwards. Not because he decided to, though. Jack had gotten up from the table and forced himself in between the two of them.
"I couldn't care less if you two want to have a dick-measuring contest," Jack said, pointing to the girls. "But the second your bullshit hurts one of my friends, you and I are gonna have a problem. Got it?"
Emilio glared at Jack for a second but seemed to figure out quickly that he was outmatched. He clenched his jaw and brushed past them toward the exit. Alex flinched when he stopped in front of him, but all he did at first was hand back the newspaper. As Alex took it, Emilio mumbled something so quietly that Alex wasn't sure whether he had intended to be heard.
"Ten cuidado, majestad," he said, his voice icy. "Estos americanos no siempre estarán cerca para protegerte."
Alex let him leave without acknowledging that he heard and understood.
"Maybe I shouldn't have brought that back," Mary said, looking at the newspaper like it was a dead bug that got in her food. "I didn't mean for everyone to see it. Kaylee butted in when I was trying to show Ren, and she started showing it to everyone. We couldn't even get it back without Jonathan's help. But I knew the school wasn't telling anyone anything, and..."
"Their gossip isn't your fault," Matthew said, taking the paper from Alex and giving it back to Mary. "And you were just trying to help."
"Maybe... Maybe it was an accident. I know sometimes I have trouble changing quickly. When I'm out of practice, or tired. Maybe... that's what happened."
"Yeah," Matthew said, in a way that made it obvious he was only agreeing for her sake. "Maybe."
Mary looked down at her feet, looking like she wanted to say more, but didn't know what. She was saved by Charlotte tugging on her sleeve.
"I'm hungry, Mary," she said.
"Right. Um. Guess we'd better get back to our table."
"Good night, Mary," Warren said. She nodded at him and led Charlotte back to their table of friends. She threw the newspaper in a trash can as she went.
"Would you like to sit with us, Matthew?" Warren offered. Alex glanced at the table of scholarship students. They looked about as pleased with Matthew as Emilio had been. Matthew didn't even look at them, though. He just shook his head.
"I'm eating at McAvoy tonight," he said. "Baptiste's roommate and some other kids were pooling together ingredients to make comfort food for everyone. I just came here to pick up some stuff Jerry made for them." He looked at Alex with a bit of a hesitant expression. "Ellie, um, wanted to me to let you know you were invited too."
"I... think I probably shouldn't," Alex said. Matthew nodded like he was expecting that answer.
"I'll save some of Jerry's macrons for you."
"Who the hell is Jerry?" Jack said. Alex was glad to see his serious persona was gone. He always forgot how scary it was. How much it reminded him of Basil Farrow.
"He calls Chef Jerimiah that," Alex explained.
"And he lets you get away with that?"
"Yeah, because I'm extremely cool and special." Matthew clapped Alex on the shoulder. "Catch you later, Allie."
"See you."
Alex sat down with Jack and Warren, not hearing their conversation as he focused on watching Matthew leave for the kitchen. Once he was out of sight his focus was drawn to the trash can Mary had thrown the paper in. It made him sick, thinking about the words that were printed on it. Words that he felt in his gut were lies the second he had seen them. It didn't help that the only sounds filtering into his ears were the conversations the other students were carrying on with, now that the performance was over. The gossip and theories they were trading as if they were talking about an unfinished mystery novel rather than someone's real life.
Jack's voice suddenly managed to cut their static. "You good, Al?" he asked, and Alex looked at him for the first time since they sat down. Alex could tell from the look on his face that he wasn't asking because he wanted to know. He already knew. He was asking because he wanted Alex to know he could see that he wasn't.
Alex was tired of saying yes when it was such a blatant lie. He was tired of saying no, too. It was so depressing to admit it out loud so often. He liked how Matthew had answered the question during PE.
"I am what I am right now," he said. "Maybe I'll be something else tomorrow."