"I'm tired Lucian, I've been busy for weeks immersed in my work, now I have some free time ... It would be better if you cheer me up."
Eric without warning buried his head into his shoulder blades, Lucian gasped, feeling the man's warm breath directly touch his skin, "You always smell good, from the first time dad brought you here I always wanted to touch you."
He pushed the man with all his might, causing his grip to weaken slightly, Lucian then took the opportunity and fled as fast as he could towards his hut, swiftly locking the door. He knew it was useless since the door was so thin and weak, but he would never get used to the scary alpha. If only Earl Douglass was alive then none of this would have happened.
No, even when Earl Douglass was alive, that man kept approaching him, touching him without permission, giving off the smell of alpha pheromone which he hated so much.
Even the lingering pheromone smell made his skin itch, he wanted to wash all this scent off his body.
He slumped, leaning against the door, realizing he left the flower basket outside, damn, Ivan would be mad at him after this.
Head throbbing again, throwing his head back hitting the door hard enough, Lucian sighed heavily.
—It is not that bad, I should have suffered.
He had convinced himself, time and time again since he had lived here that the life he was living right now was not as bad as his sin.
Even if indeed something bad happened to him, Lucian should be able to gracefully accept his fate.
Lucian did not deserve to live in peace.
A coward who always ran away from his punishment.
Sometimes he thought of confessing his crimes, accepting the death penalty that would surely be given to him if he confessed the sin, and then finally meeting his father in hell.
*
*
It was unusual for his father to invite Lucian over for a meal, the fact that he thought there was something off about a simple interaction like this was something that would be considered overdramatized. However, his relationship with his father was very different from that of most children and their fathers. This man had never considered Lucian as his son, never cared for him, nor interacted with him like a father. Ever since he was young, Lucian had been used to the cold attitude of the man who happened to be his biological father.
So as he sat down at the dining table, he felt his stomach turn with nervousness, when they finished eating, his father looked at Lucian who was sitting with his eyes downcast.
"How old are you now?"
The first words that came out of his mouth, as a biological father he should know simple things like this, but the fact that he had no idea how old Lucian was, even though he lived in the same house with his own son, was a clear sign that his father did not care enough about him.
"16," he replied simply.
His father nodded, like he was in a good mood after hearing that, but his calm face made Lucian even more nervous.
"That's the right age for omega to get married."
"Pardon?"
"There's a viscount from a neighboring country who's interested in you, it would be best if you get married soon and produce lots of offspring."
No. What did this old man just say?
Lucian raised his head to look at his father whose expression was relaxed as if he did not notice anything wrong with his words. 16 years old was still very young, it was not the right time for him to get married at that age.
"I don't want to," he said almost inaudible, but his low voice was caught directly by his father's ear.
"You have no right to refuse."
"I don't want to."
"Lucian."
"I don't want to, I don't want-"
BANG— His father hit the dining table so hard it caused the thick wooden table that got hit cracked, Lucian's body jerked, even so he still dared to look straight into his father's eyes.
"If you were born an alpha you would be an Earl here, but you are an omega and that is your only chance to fulfill your duty as my son."
" ... I don't want to."
"Then what do you want? A lazy life in this house?"
"I could have been an Earl, now a lot of omegas are—"
"Shut up!"
At his father who shouted harshly, Lucian closed his eyes for a moment, as if it was his habit because usually after shouting like that his father would hit him, but his father still sat quietly with a frown on his forehead. "I really want to punch you, but your face is very precious to your future husband."
"Father."
Lucian's lips trembled as he realized that he could not go against this man's wishes. This was his destiny now, no matter how hard he resisted, this man would not budge.
"Prepare yourself in one month."
"One month? Father, it's too soon, I'm still 16 years old."
"That guy is also quite young. His family has the biggest fortune in gold mining, so you will live well there."
"But-"
As his father stood up Lucian covered his mouth tightly, he averted his eyes, the man walked towards him, touching his hair "Make yourself as pretty as possible, long hair suits you best. Never cut your hair. If you do, I will punish that beloved butler of yours."
Rough fingers slithered down to touch his jaw then the touch turned into a grip, lifting his head up, Lucian's pupils glanced sideways, not wanting to look directly at his father's face, "Now that I take a closer look at you, you look so much like your mother."
Closing his eyes, even though it was a compliment, Lucian's stomach turned queasy after hearing that. "Your long ginger hair is so soft, pale skin, and blue eyes. So many alphas would be around you if you attended more noble events, but you never interacted with other nobles. I don't know what's wrong with you."
Releasing his grip, his father left him alone to sit silently in the dining room, Lucian rubbed his jaw several times hoping that the rough feeling left on his skin would immediately disappear. Disgusting.
If only he had been born as an alpha, none of this would have happened in his life.
Lucian's eyes stared blankly at the empty plate, he really wanted to break all the plates on the table and then screamed as hard as he could to let out all his frustration.
As if a habit, Lucian ran into the back garden along a path lined with tall cedar trees, a splendid view of the Giffords' mansion. Magnificent garden with a variety of various colors of flowers and rare plants that were well cared for by gardeners who faithfully work in this place. The smell of flowers surrounded him as he sat in one of the pavilion, specially built for gazing at the flowers.
Tulip, rose, jasmine, lavender, gardenia, alyssum and other flowers combine to create an intoxicating aroma. Lucian did not really like the smell of these flowers, but this was the only relaxing place where he could get some fresh air and not feel suffocate, Rogan also told him that his mother used to love being here, spending time looking at the sky and flowers.
Every time he remembered about his mother whom he had never seen except from pictures, Lucian's chest tightened. Sometimes he thought of scenarios what if his mother did not pass away after giving birth to him, and how if he died instead of his mother, it would be better if Lucian was not born. It was a word that often came out of his father's mouth, however Lucian never felt offended by it — he also thought the same. —It would have been better if he had not been born.
The blowing wind made his body shiver, the sky was a bit dark, and the weather was getting colder, it might rain soon, Lucian hugged his knees tightly, watching the beautiful flower swaying in the wind. Even though the flower stem looked fragile, the strong wind that shook it many times did not break the stem.
Drip. Drip. Rainwater slowly fell, the sound of water falling against the roof of the pavilion was getting louder and louder. This place was rather small, so the increasingly heavy rain splashed the ground making his feet wet.
"Young master Lucian!!!"
From a distance he saw a man with a black umbrella walking over from behind the heavy rain which made his vision a little blurry, the voice and shape of the man's body were familiar to Lucian. Rogan, who saw Lucian sitting alone, ran as fast as he could to the place he was sitting in, his face looking very worried.
"Why are you here in this heavy rain, young master?"
He shrugged his shoulders, Rogan stretched out his hand, intending to help Lucian to stand up, but Lucian was still silent, he raised his head to look at the middle-aged man whose hair was already turning white.
"Rogan, do you know my mother well?"
"That question ... Why suddenly?"
"I heard that father and mother had an arranged marriage ... Did my mother live happily at that time?"
Rogan did not say anything, he closed his mouth as if he did not hear Lucian's question, this went on for a long time, the heavy rain made the hem of his black pants even more wetter. Lucian, who knew Rogan would not answer his question, took a deep breath, "It's okay, if you don't want to answer."
"Sorry, young master."
"I ask because my father would do the same thing to me."
"Pardon, what do you mean—"
"I'm going to be betrothed to a young viscount, even though I'm only 16. That's crazy, right?"
"Who said that ... Was it Lord Jake Gifford?
Lucian nodded weakly, staring at the wet ground, the smell of rain and wet grass mixed in the air.