'Sorry, I-'
'Are you okay? You look very pale.'
'Young master let's go see a doctor!'
There were no expressions of disgust from the people around him after seeing Lucian surrounded by his own vomit on the floor. They all looked sincerely sympathetic to his condition, however that only made Lucian's stomach churn even more. Although he felt like throwing up again, it seemed like there was no liquid left for him to spit out.
The two older men without thinking long, helped Lucian to stand up, the old man with blond hair whose hair had turned slightly white, carried his weak body carefully to the bedroom. Sitting silently on the bed, Rogan wiped his cheeks that were wet from the tears that came out when he vomited earlier.
After he felt better, Lucian came out to meet the two men who were still sitting on the sofa in the living room. The two of them simultaneously raised their heads when they saw Lucian walking slowly towards them. Their eyes intensely followed Lucian's steps, as if they wanted to make sure Lucian could walk properly and not fall over.
The duke of Rosaenia agreed with Earl Douglass' decision to adopt him.
Although Lucian initially refused, Rogan told him to go because that was the only safe place for him to stay.
After living in Douglass mansion for years, even though his life was not going too well— because apparently the son who was an omega disliked his coming to this house, the eldest son, who was an alpha, repeatedly harassed Lucian whenever Earl Douglass was not around— Lucian thought those were not too bad. Living in the Douglass mansion was bearable. Nothing bothered him too much. In fact, sometimes it caused the feeling of guilt rise in his chest. He often asked himself whether he deserved to live without suffering for the sins he had committed.
Therefore sometimes if he experienced unpleasant events, Lucian tried to accept it without protest. Even though it was hard to accept because his little heart would scream— this was not entirely his sin.
Lucian over and over again, blamed his father.
He repeatedly said that this was all his father's fault, and he too, was a victim.
However several times, Lucian thought deeply again and again about something he had done.
The sin still stuck to him. It was his fault. It was his own will. He also sinned. He could not run away from this, because of his own mistakes, others would also suffer. That was what his father used to say, and those words sunk deep into Lucian.
As he glanced towards the clock after spending his time cleaning his room and reading a book, Lucian sighed, it was already ten at night, the right time for him to come out of the room to take his dinner, at this hour the guests must have gone to rest in their respective rooms.
He passed through a quiet hall, stepped into the kitchen took some food and then brought it back into the room. He ate quietly while looking out the window at the twinkling stars adorning the dark night sky.
His gaze fell on several people walking out who were probably looking at the flower garden, considering that the flower garden in this mansion was no less beautiful than the Gifford Mansion flower garden— which was famous for being grand and spacious and had various kinds of rare plants that were cared for wholeheartedly.
As soon as he finished eating, Lucian planned to go to bed immediately but his eyes were wide open, he could not fall asleep no matter how many times he closed his eyes, after tossing around on the bed for a long time, Lucian got off his bed.
He revived the lantern he had turned off. At a time when he unable to sleep like this he remembered his habit, sometimes if he had trouble falling asleep he would read a book until his eyes were tired, then continue sleeping. But he had already done that earlier, so the last thing he could do was get some fresh air by walking outside, maybe he would calmly watch the night sky for a moment, take a calm breath, sit in the small pavilion available in the flower garden.
Lucian took a red scarf to cover half of his face, he walked through the hallway carefully. Feeling relieved because the mansion was already very quiet— naturally because it was already the middle of the night. The dim light in the mansion made it a little difficult to see, but luckily he brought his own lantern.
His footsteps were brisk towards the pavilion in the flower garden. The flower garden in the Douglass mansion wasn't as big as the flower garden in his former mansion but it was still a beautiful place. Lucian sat down on one of the available benches, with the wine he had brought from his room, opening the bottle he leaned on the stool looking at the dark sky.
The wind that blew softly carried the scent of flowers, he drank the wine from the bottle slowly, his mind was blank, he had not looked up at the night sky like this for a long time.
It had been many years since he had lived in this mansion, adopted by Earl Douglass, he had never thought that he would live like this. Lucian always thought that he would live a miserable life until the day he died, even before he committed a sin, he thought that his life would not end with a happy ending.
As he got older, reality hit him hard, sometimes he asked, 'What if I accept the arranged marriage?' maybe the suffering would be lighter than the current situation.
If he accepted the arranged marriage, his suffering for the sins he had committed will be less because the decision would only make himself alone suffer. If he accepted the arrange marriage plan, then the big sin would never happen.
The decision he chose that dragged others to suffer because of his mistakes.
It was much better if he was the only one experiencing the suffering— to live together with someone he did not love. At least Lucian would not live in such great regret now.
Thinking of it made his head hurt, every time he thought of this Lucian could not help but laugh ironically at himself who was such a coward, afraid to admit his sin.
'Excuse me?'
The deep voice of the man holding the lantern in his hand, walking towards where Lucian was sitting, Lucian accidentally choked on the wine he was drinking. As the man stood right in front of him and took a seat, Lucian quickly fixed the scarf on his head.
What is this man doing in the middle of the night?
Lucian glanced sideways at the man who took a seat inches away from where Lucian sat, not too close and not too far. Lucian could smell the fragrance of the man's perfume, he looked like a man of the same age as him.
This man must be a noble.
What should l do? Should I leave without saying a word?
The wind blew rather hard, making the thin scarf on his head fly and fall to the ground. Lucian froze as he planned to take his scarf, his eyes met the man's amber colored eyes, the dark auburn hair added to the masculine impression of this man, he looked like if a lion turned into human.
He averted his gaze, the man's eyes fixed on him very intently, it was a familiar gaze— looking at Lucian like a man observing a high-value art.
They were silent for a while, until finally—
'You have a red stain near your lips.'
'????'
'Red stain ... near your lips.'
The man made a gesture of pointing to his lips, Lucian reflexively wiped his lips with the back of his hand but that action only made the man laugh. The sound of his laughter sounded warm in Lucian's ears, clearly not a mocking laugh. It made his cheeks feel warm.
'You made the stain spread everywhere, even down to your chin, haha.'
And whose fault is it? Lucian wanted to protest like that, he was choking while drinking wine due to this man suddenly appearing out of nowhere.
'You're not drinking high-quality wine, it smells cheap.'
The man's face was suddenly very close to Lucian's, closing his eyes for a moment while sniffing him like a dog. 'But there's a nice smell coming out ...., what's that— ah..' He quickly inched away after realizing what he had done, 'I apologize ... I was being presumptuous'
Lucian who almost had a heart attack because of how close the man's face was, inwardly heaved a sigh of relief.
'That's my habit so I'm sorry, I love wine and I also produce my own wine in my place ... may I know which family you come from?'
'Sorry sir, I'm just a commoner.'
Hearing that question Lucian was a bit taken aback, he did not wear any clothes that could indicate he was a noble, wearing plain and casual clothes, therefore to the man who assumed so, he put on a bewildered face.
So Lucian lied, he lowered his head. It would be better if no one knew that Jake Gifford's son lived in this mansion, Lucian knew full well that no one other than Rogan and also the duke of Rosaenia knew about this.
'..... .... Are you kidding me?'
Lucian raised his gaze, he met the eyes of the man who was looking at him with an intense gaze, he stared at Lucian as if scanning every nook and cranny of his face. At that moment, Lucian became a bit nervous, he hoped that the man did not recognize him even though Lucian had no idea who this man was either, he looked young so Lucian guessed, maybe he was the son of an Earl or a Viscount who had come to attend the Douglass family's anniversary.
The longer they were silent, the more uncomfortable Lucian felt —Why does this man keep looking at me without shame.
Lucian, who occasionally glanced at the man, fiddled with the wine bottle in hand and then drank it again in one gulp, ignoring the man's amber colored eyes that were still looking at him.
'Aha, I don't know why ... I mean ... You look like someone from a noble family.'
The man finally let out a chuckle to break the silence. Lucian raised his eyebrows for a moment, he looked up at the sky. Not wanting to interact further, but the man seemed persistent.