She told herself to stop with the introspections, she told herself to pay attention to what is happening, she told herself to imagine what they thought creating this, she told herself...
At the moment she, he, they are inside a wooden room, a jail, a garage, a dog's room? With two windows giving the little light to see a squeaky bone toy on the floor, a pillow in the corner but it's too little for a person to sleep on it, near the pillow a food pot, unfortunately, it's dry food.
Exploring the room they find a note on the floor.
"Sorry, I have to lock you in the guest room until Undyne arrives. Feel free to make yourself at home ! ! !"
"Refreshments and accommodations have been provided"
- Nyehfully yours, Papyrus
She stops to think for a time, a big gate is at her left. [ What happens if I just stay here as I was told? Toriel call us if we stay in that one room, will Papyrus appear? Can I actually pass by this gate? ]
The human passes the gate and quickly back to their original place, they keep waiting for an answer.
[ This seems familiar now that I think, where do I see something similar? With Sans? ]
"I have an idea. Go through this gate thingy."
"Yeah, go right through. My bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone" The skeleton said.
[ So I'm locked, yet I can pass, what's the meaning of this scene? Papyrus wasn't meant to be hard, well he wanted to be a royal guard, the next boss, Undyne is one, so we can say that we are in the prologue yet, the puzzles are simple compared to Hotland, wait, Hotland, who gave this name, Asgore? Well, it's an American game, so it doesn't make much sense. Wait I'm losing focus ]
[ In this game, we are taught to think more outside the box, we always have a choice, not only what we believed so far until we start, I can choose to go, but do I want to do that? Am I allowed to make this decision? In real life, we can be thrown in jail as well by other people, and other, skeletons, and spend "tons" of time until we are released, heh, does that mean, we can flee? Yes, we can, but not like a game, Papyrus didn't kill us as any other monster, but in real life the danger is real ]
The player waits for more, they want to know what happens next, it's not their first time playing, but the second, after the game tells them to play all again for the 'real ending'
"LET'S GO" The bongo cat said calmly, as loud music on her smartphone started. An anime picture is on her screen, Hataraku Saibou from 'Cells at Work!'
"That took a long time, what happened? You never stayed off for that long." They say, the voice can't be from a guy or a girl. "Good afternoon for you too, what makes me have the honor to receive a call from the greatest, almighty, Kozue Kinoshita?" She says, the voice of a woman, young, but passing through the 30 age.
"You didn't answer my messages, and you stopped posting things suddenly, your last stream was 3 weeks ago, what happened?"
"Me got bored, me play games, what about ya?"
"I was working as usual, but you got me worried, is something wrong?"
"Nope, I just got tired of posting that amount of stuff, it wasn't funny anymore, so now I'm playing games"
"What are you playing now?"
"Undertale, my PC seems to have some processor problems, I will fix this soon, but for now I'm playing more simple things"
"But why Undertale? We've played before"
"I'm playing again as a different person, not only to explore things, did you know that Papyrus throws us in jail if we manage to lose to him? If you keep taking damage he also reminds us to press Z to jump, breaking the fourth wall, if you wait for Toriel to come back you will receive some calls, until an annoying being steals her phone and starts to sleep on it"
"No, I didn't know about all that, what about your relationships? Got anyone to stick with?"
"Nope, I keep browsing as always and all, but everyone seems the same, and I don't want to end up as other people, you know I've said before"
"U you said what? What did you mean?"
"In one of my night walks I saw something that shocked me, a guy was waiting in his car outside his house until the lights turn off, that's how bad the situation is, he was probably married and didn't want to talk with his wife, I don't want that to me"
"Ah, this one I know, I thought there was something new, you know it's not so common all this"
"I've decided to enter some game houses as well, casinos, and guess the age of the people?"
"They were old... Don't you think this is paranoid?"
"Maybe, if I didn't decide to stalk a guy until his house, I was bored don't judge me, when he entered I could hear his kid and wife as well, they pretended to turn off the lights for him to come, it seems he was lying with extra work, but I don't think he was an addicted person, he didn't spend lots of Iens on the place"
"But, it was only one, it's not like someone would start to hate you or something, you are cool"
"Awn thanks for it, but things are still, pretty bad, I bet if I do this more I will only find lots of the same situations where families are, well, not families"
"So what are you going to do?"
"Keep looking, I still have time, I mean, I'm still young, the power of God and anime are on my side, also the youth, I hope"
"What are you talking about, are you desperate?"
"Well... A little, I'm 25 yet I never had an actual relationship, I will get old with everyone, and I don't want to die single"
"I was to change the subject and argument with what you always say, but I know what you mean"
"Are you single as well?"
"Yes, but it doesn't bother me that much, I mean, how many guys did you... Did things?"
"Uh... Well, the past year I tried 18 different persons, and..."
"... 18 guys, and... Only one date each?"
"I just want someone who shares the same brain cell"
"Well, maybe, just maybe, you know? You are ignoring your other brain cells, I mean common, they are so... Close"
"You mean that I should stop and, do other things? I never stopped drawing and all, I just took a break from social media, you should do as well, it's quite good"
"Kizuna, my work is social media, how am I supposed to not use it? I know I'm old but, I'm still popular, and I'm still pretty, what age would you rate me?"
"Uh... 20?"
"We have time, relax and stop doing that, I don't like- I mean, it's not right"
"Maybe you have a point"
"You will back to your place, account name?"
"Don't mock me, CuteFurry 98"
"..."
"You had it coming, and yes, I will check how things are, not like I wasn't doing it periodically, it seems like Papyrus won't do anything new"
"Ok then, I will see you in some minutes"
[ Ok where I was, oh, I should save again, just in case, there is no turning back on life, right? What am I thinking ]
Kizuna closes the game and opens her navigator, she glimpses the possibility to restart the closed tabs. [ What I was doing before taking a break? Nah, it doesn't matter now, let's go straight to Twitter, what is Kozue cosplaying nowadays? ]
She enters his homepage, the most recent picture was taken minutes ago, it's a photo of him in a group of cosplayers, they all are making different poses and smiling, and all of the characters are from the same anime, named Hataraku Saibou/cells at work.
[ Honestly, why should I bother posting something, although it's cool to make some streams, it doesn't seem interesting for me live doing that, I have nothing cool to post later, I will think about this another time, wait why did Kozue pressure me to enter? Maybe he wants to talk here? Did he send me a message already? ]
Kizuna scrolls at her unread messages, she notices that an old problem finally replied, an account named 'Eternal_Pain'
- Hello Daigo Kizuna, sorry for not answering you for so much time, I've finally found someone who I trust to keep all my items, I want to tell that, you were one of the most important people I knew, If it wasn't you I wouldn't make someone happy in this dead MMO.
- I've got my hands in something forbidden, 'Eternal pain' won't exist anymore, only peace, I know I don't deserve a shit, but you taught me to hope, I want to believe that I will find someone to take my soul, at last, and end for my suffering.
- I'm really thankful for the time we had together, for the money you gave me to treat my sanity problems, you didn't waste a cent, I'm happy, I will do something I will like, and I will like a lot.
- If it wasn't for you I would be only a dead weight, pointless life, but when I die now, maybe my body will save the lives of many people, thanks for being patient for all these months, I was really a dick all the time, but I know you don't hate me, you are a good person.
- Don't worry about trying to help my parents, I said then, and I also showed this
Kizuna scrolls down, what she expected was there, a gun and his white hand, a common 9 mm ready to end someone's life, his life, an unknown man to her and society.
- They didn't care and said I was a mistake, if it wasn't for that shithead to begin with my sister would still be alive.
- I just noticed that I should be thankful again, if it wasn't you, I would probably try to blow their fucking heads, but it's not cool, I only have the right of my life, not theirs, so I will end here in silence, I wonder how many days will take to someone notice my death.
- My friends? They abandoned me and our game, it was so fun, it was the only thing that kept me alive, yet they didn't care even to wave a goodbye, fucking idiots.
- I'm waiting for the time no one will be at their houses, I don't want to fuck their days, no one will hear anything, don't worry about my dog, someone already adopted him, I hope he is doing well now.
- I don't think you are the type to cry over deaths of weirdos like me, I was a bullshit to deal with anyways, but someone like you, well don't feel any sadness, that's what I want, it's what I decided, I even paid all my bills and gave my money to shrines, be happy with my death, I don't want to see anyone sad over me.
- I know I'm a dumb fucking idiot who knows nothing but to grind up, but I've put some thought into all this shit, death shouldn't be a bad thing at all.
- We live to suffer, and when we are not suffering, we feel empty, as some guy who I don't remember said "We live in the eagerness to have and the boredom of possessing" It was something like that.
- We bear a hell lot of things for only one or two moments of happiness, fuck off I don't want that shit, if there is a better place why would I keep my ass here? Utterly pointless, I'm going to die and if luck is on my side I will have angels on my side, if I am thrown in hell, who cares? I am into this shit anyways, I like feeling pain, it's the only cheap way of feeling some pleasure.
- I just... Thrown away all the wise words I said right? Sorry for making you hear all that nonsense, I'm just a number in this world, I shouldn't even be texting you, but... I didn't think it was right to go without a word after what you did to me.
- You like memes right? So... There is something I wanted to tell, my... Last internet words, isn't that... Funny? It's just a bunch of letters that together make a sound, and this sound means something, but my life doesn't mean anything... Haha.
- Well, I took more time than I expected, so, there is it.
- Change the world, my final message, you know the rules, but I don't, so I say... Goodbye.
Nothing more was there, no messages, no sounds, no images, Kizuna never knew his name, if he was even a guy, but she assumed so, Eternal_Pain was what can be called a troll, after some damage he made, in a strange day he was in Twitter depression groups, he didn't say anything coherent, Kizuna was there for curiosity but also looking for people who would need help, that's her nature, her ideology.
She heard everything he wanted to say, sometimes he was a normal person, but most of the time a monster, using to saying many things and spamming terrifying images, he wasn't the only person in a bad state that Kizuna chatted with, but he was the hardest to bear, but she never abandoned him, always hearing, advising, praising his rarely good actions.
Eternal_Pain was his nick, now he rests in peace, he shoots at his head, he wanted to troll in his final moments, he hated a game with a concept of persona because of their fans, the last thing he did was to send an imaginary middle finger, his final moments, after weeks his body was found by a Japanese specialized force, they cleaned his place and thrown away the little things he had, in the future, another person will live where he died.
Kizuna knew the possibility of being true, but she wanted to believe, that he wasn't truly dead, Eternal_Pain was far from being what she thinks of as a friend, but he was a human, an insane, egocentric, and pervert person, his death could mean a reborn of a new individual and not his true death, Kizuna would never know the true answer, she decides to believe on the best and move forward.
Before going to talk with Kozue, she looks at the time the messages were sent. [ Maybe things could be different if I was here, but would be better? ]
Days after the incident Daigo Kizuna is traveling where the wind sends her, walking without destiny, filling her mind with pictures of strange people, she stops in a Starbucks and orders low-caloric food and a coffee, she browses in her smartphone, the 'newest' iPhone X looking for something to hear.
[ I wonder what people think I hear when I'm alone, do I look like a classical music fan? Electronic? ] Her mind starts to circle in thoughts as she eats peacefully while hearing an English version of a game music, it starts.
"Can you feel the sun shining on me?"
"It makes me feel so free, so alive"
"It makes me want to survive"
[ If I was to be a boss in a game, my theme should be something like this, but maybe the lyrics should be more fused with the other soundtracks, maybe I download a low-quality version? ]
Near 10 minutes later, Kizuna is sure that she knows all the lyrics of the music, she wants to make a cover, only to her hear it when she is alone, she starts to think about the music that made an apartment in her head, and she accidentally starts to sing in a high voice.
"Don't you feel that sometimes"
"We just need to run away?"
"Reach out for the sunshine"
"Forget about the rain"
"Just think about the good times"
"And they will come back again"
She stops as she snaps out, she called the attention of the people eating their meals quietly as she was, she looks at every side worried about what she did, before she stops and smiles, she takes a breath and prepares her lips, she starts to sing again as she leaves making odd dance steps.
[ I've practiced music lessons for 3 years already, let's flex on them ]
"Can you feel the sunshine?"
"Does it brighten up your day?"
"Don't you feel that sometimes"
"You just need to run away"
"Reach out for the sunshine"
"Forget about the rain"
When she was near the door, to flee, she decides to stop and fight more, she makes a more cartoonish dance as she finishes.
"Can you feel the sunshine?"
"Can you feel it?"
"Does it brighten up your day?"
"Brighten up your day..."
She stops and waves before leaving out of breath, she didn't pay attention to the looks towards her, or how the world reacts to her innocent actions, but to how she felt in the moment, the happiness of being 'alive'
[ I'm happy for being, alive, huh... Now I wonder how is for other people, I know I'm lucky, but it's thanks only to me that I am happy, it's because I am myself, but now how is it to other people, how was it to him, wait... He was himself too ]
[ He is probably dead, but if he is alive, what is he doing now? Did he reach happiness as I do? I will probably never know, but I hope he is doing good, now is it right for someone like him, to have the right to happiness? ]
[ Maybe I'm just thinking too much, should I stop? What am I doing, earth to Kizuna we are going to fall if we keep like that ]
"Everyone deserves to be happy." A famous quote that spread in nowadays society. "I didn't born to suffer."
On the same day, on the same night, Kizuna after taking her daily bath, thinks of what to do before sleep, she has spent many days sleeping inadequately. [Our minds are full of thoughts as the day pass, the present world is so full of information, what I will think today? ]
[ Maybe I should do something useful, I shouldn't lose my offense days in drawing ] Daigo has spent 5 years drawing, not only as a pastime but as a way to improve herself. [To be more creative, we need to keep ourselves creative, isn't this a paradox? ]
Laying on the bed she takes her tablet, a Samsung Galaxy Tab S4. She opens Pinterest and starts to look for any interesting images, but the feed is full of memes and images of characters she already draws.
[ Well, it's only for me to think, process this lot of information I accumulated in this weeks, refresh my mind, let's just sketch ] Starting with different poses of different shapes of woman, practicing 3d objects, points of view, her mind starts to relax after weeks of the high speed of the internet.
[ To answer that, we need to talk about parallel universes ]
[ What am I doing? 90℅ of the time I don't know, I didn't do anything out of extraordinary, so maybe I have nothing to do with my life, wait this doesn't sound right, why am I trying to rhyme? ]
[ Oh yeah, I was to do a cover as well, maybe I should take this night to enjoy myself, yeah, maybe I should stop doing that! God damn it I have no control over my mind ]
The feet embrace the blankets tightly as she firmly holds her pen, Daigo doesn't like the results of her low practice, she feels they could be better. [ I can think about this today ]
[ The best, what is the best, am I bad? Rhyming by accident I make sounds have meaning, I learn and learn by doing nothing, I don't practice for perfection but for improving, I am a human, not a deity, as I relax now I become what I always wanted, someone wise, someone smart, someone who helps people when they cry ]
[ I am Daigo Kizuna, the best of being myself, I sing for my ears, not for the others, I practice drawing to make my life richer, the world is getting easier, yet we need to work harder, people die and die, due stress of their daily life, when people work for money I relax when the sun still has his light ]
[ Eternal pain maybe is dead, maybe alive, as the cat of Schrodinger there will be never an answer, I chose myself, not society chooses to me, I embrace what I think is the best to live ]
[ What he did before? What he is doing now? I won't know, but an answer of what I want now, must be answered before tomorrow ]
[ I make drawings, simple drawings, I sing, only covers, I make beats in my PC, so am I selfish? I never worked, yet I have money, I do as I wish, I enjoy my life, many would do worst, but what matters is that I'm wise, I've learned with mistakes of thousand souls in this vast globe ]
[ My parents, who were they? My grandparent was rich, and so do I, his son was who gave me the right of life, here am I now, thinking about his legacy, a man who already died, will people forget the pain he suffered? ]
[ My grandfather was strong-willed, he made money by never spending, my father wasn't right, he spend lots of money with nothing bright, but they fade as time passes, luckily there was my mother, a woman that he finds out, being the fated person to give him what he wanted, a sense of purpose ]
[ My father was at loss, his money wasn't enough to buy anything more, but she was there, to guide him to his own glory, by the ashes a new reborn, Daigo Kizuna, the name of the woman, now blonde, tall, and momentarily skinny but always ready to do something, useless ]
Daigo Kizuna stops, mesmerized by her little ability to make music out of nowhere, without any reason to be created, yet she did for the first time. [ Is this a talent? Nah, I am useless to society ]
[ But now I wonder, is my life being worth it? Let's suppose Eternal pain is dead, is this right? I should think about this ]
[ The little I know is that he had a rough life, the quote "Everyone deserves to be happy" Is correct? Many forget that we also not only have needs but duties as well, I've thought about this before, what I want to think is, my life, is it going right? ]
"I had a good life, if I was to die, I think I accept, I'm satisfied, taking these annoying rhymes aside... Fuck why can't I stop? Anyway, my life was actually pretty good, I have no complaints, I had friends, food, the internet, and games, if I don't go all crazy I will probably not need to have a true work"
"Life goes easier, yet we need to work, harder, I can't stop thinking about the people with useless work, I can press a button myself to the floor I want, wait, am I talking? Well, I'm alone so it doesn't bother me... Alone, well people who talk alone are more meant to be genius, hooray!"
"I'm used to talking alone, but, after all this overdrive of information it seems odd, wait I'm going out of subject"
"Maybe it's not the right to being happy, it's the capacity of being happy, stoicism, we don't need fancy things to have a good life, though I would be screwed if I didn't have my money"
"Life could be a dream... Life could be a dream" Kizuna sings as she thinks further. Her conclusion is, every life is worth, any life can have a mean. [ "People's biggest mistake is to think that everything will remain the same." So I will add, everyone can change, the best or the worst. ]
[ If intelligence can't be calculated by numbers, life can't be taken by merit ]
"Everyone is different, however, the ones who need help can be helped, food or water is not a problem, the chances should be the same, but the results must be able to be different"