The second we got out of Christian's car Derek walked right in and went to straight to bed. Neither of them spoke a word since we left the lake.
I plopped down on my bed and curled into a ball. Layla sat next to me laying her hand on my back. "That was fucking intense Alley. I have no words."
"Me either. I'm so fucking pissed at him, but it also hurts to hate him. Why can't he just be normal?" I sobbed.
Being in Europe I met so many people. So many guys that seemed normal. Yeah, I'm sure they are still horny teenage asshole, but it was different than the guys here. They were sweet and friendly to me, but didn't try to only fuck me. We just hung out and laughed.
I wanted to go back to being a little girl that only had the middle of the nights to look forward to and that made me hate Christian to want something so little for myself. He had no right to treat me that way, no right to treat my brother that way. What the fuck was his problem anyways?
The next two weeks in school everyone kept their distance. Chris made sure to sit as far from me as possible with his face bruised from temple to jaw. Randy would tease me some in class but was nowhere to be seen the second the bell rang. At lunch I sat at the same table, but no one really looked my way. I was thankful that at least Layla and Katie sat with me. Layla would talk a little with the other snobs but mostly kept her attention to me.
Every time Christian was near, I didn't even look his way. I didn't wait for him after lunch either. If he wanted to stalk me then he could keep up. I still sat in front of him in class and walked close by him in the halls though.
It was weird to have so much disappointment in someone that you couldn't look at them, yet you still wanted to know they were there. At the end of the day the three of us met for our free period sitting with ten feet between us.
It was so fucking tense and awkward I wanted to scream at everyone to just be normal. I couldn't give in though. Christian needed to apologize and make things right. I just wasn't seeing him doing that anytime soon.
It hurt so bad to think the three of us would not know each other. I know Derek felt the same way. He wanted to punch Christian for treating me like that, but he didn't want to lose him either. So, we sat there quietly just waiting for the awkwardness to go away.
The next weekend after the Lake incident I took extra shifts at work and now it was Saturday again. Layla, Katie, and I decided to check out the Lake and see what happens. Everyone was there so it was either hangout alone or head over. I prayed the whole way that I didn't get someone murdered by just acting like every other teenager.
From the second we stepped on the sand everyone kept a distance. Wherever we walked it was like the sea parting because no one wanted to chance pissing off Christian. The dance area had a carved-out space just for us because not one guy would risk getting too close to me. When we sat by the fire some people talked to us, but no one even sat in the seats next to us. It was a total disaster.
I noticed Christian keeping an eye on me as Derek threw daggers with his eyes at Christian. They were sitting across from each other, but I could see the tension between them. After 2 hours both Christian and Derek were still there, just sitting and bullshitting with everyone else.
"This is getting ridiculous!" I whispered to myself. Layla and Katie gave me a knowing look with a half-smile.
I wasn't sure if I should come here tonight, but they begged me to come and try to act normal. Let everything blow over. They also didn't want Christian to think he could control me, but did it even matter when he could control everyone around me?
This wasn't fair. I didn't deserve to be treated this way, especially not by him. I stood up quickly "Stay here, I'm just going to talk, I promise." I said to Layla and Katie.
"Be careful! I know you don't think he would ever hurt you. After the other week I'm not so convinced, Alley." Layla said with a concerned look.
"I'm just going to talk. No fighting." I smiled confidently and walked away. I had no idea what I was going to say to him though. I felt like I looked confident yet inside I was confused, sad, and angry.
As I approached Christian, he never took his eyes off me. Derek quickly shifted from sitting across from him to standing in my path. I gave Derek a look like everything was fine and lightly pushed him to the side so I could see my new bully.
"Am I allowed to do anything Christian?" I asked as I crossed my arms. I didn't want to fight so it came out as more of a childish whine.
"You are here, aren't you?" was all he said. I kept staring at him trying not to jump at him and start wailing my fist at his chest.
"You know what I mean. No one will come within 5ft of me, everyone is basically ignoring me, and I can't do anything but sit here and watch everyone else have fun. Even you two are drinking and practically fucking these whores in front of everyone." My anger was boiling over so I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths.
"Be careful Alley, you are starting to sound jealous. Plus, if you let your anger get the best of you, I won't even allow you to come here anymore." He said so smug like he had complete control over everything I did.
I stood staring at him, and my face turned from pleading to revengeful. Fuck this! I wasn't letting him get away with treating me this way. If he wanted to play who has more control over my life, then we will play. I almost hoped he would try to hurt me because if he did, I would bury him.
I walked closer to him as he sat on a stump with some random girl rubbing his thigh. I kicked her hand off him. "Go away whore!" I spat at her. She turned to me instantly red in the face. "You little bitch! If you ever touch me...," before she could finish Christian grabbed her raised hand and told her to fuck off.
"What the fuck is wrong you? I haven't said a word to you, haven't bothered you one time, and you just have to come over here and start shit, don't you?" He said now in my face.
"You haven't said a word to me because you know you are a piece of shit after what you did so, don't act like you just doing what I asked of you."
"A piece of shit? Sorry if I don't think it's appropriate for a 15 year to be drinking, doing drugs, or, oh yes, jamming her tongue down some asshole's throat." His voice got higher as he spoke.
"16 asshole or did you so conveniently forget what today is and I would be careful because you are the one starting to sound jealous. I don't want..." before I could finish fireworks started going off over the lake. I turned around to see the burst of light in the sky. I love fireworks and so rarely get to see them.
I thought it was fine he didn't say a word all day. I thought I was just coming over here to settle things between us, but I was wrong. I was in a trance all day just trying not to feel anything. Derek got me my favorite donut before school and promised we would have dinner tomorrow to celebrate.
He thought I had plans with Layla and Katie today and didn't want to make me feel guilty that I didn't want to spend my birthday with him. I'm sure he realized that they didn't know what today was the second we showed up here.
The truth was I didn't want to celebrate today without them both. I wanted to pretend like it was any other day until the three of us were us again. The tears from my anger turned to sobs of sadness. I was so lost and confused. I watched the red and gold fireworks as one after the other went off.
There were ones shooting to the sky exploding and tall showers from what looked like a dock in the middle of the lake. Everyone was watching in amazement cheering as each one exploded.
I turned to look at Christian and noticed how close he stood behind me. His eyes intensely watching me. I was becoming more and more aware of his hard chest pressed against my back. His hand snaked around my waist making my breath hitch at the heat I felt from his touch.
"I'm not trying to hurt you, Alley. I just want you to have what you deserve." He whispered in my ear. His hot breath slid across my neck sending shivers down my spine.
"I guess you think I deserve nothing." I replied as another tear rolled down my cheek.
He let go of my waist and looked up as a burst of light lit up the sky again. "Happy Birthday!" Was all he said then disappeared into the woods.
I stood there watching him walk away from me forgetting about the fireworks. That was it, he was letting me go. He knew it was my birthday and purposely stayed away from me. I think that hurt more than if he forgot.
I went and grabbed my friends and we headed to the car. I needed to get out of here. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I wasn't sure how to feel about anything that has happened these past few weeks.
———
"Ok, so are you going to tell us what happened with Ace?" Katie asked as we drove away from the Lake.
"Nothing, absolutely nothing."
After a few moments of silence Layla spoke, "Why don't we have a sleepover at my house? Why are we letting some prick ruin our night anyways? That doesn't sound like the badass Alley I know."
My first instinct was to defend Christian, but I couldn't bring myself to sound so weak. Layla was right, he is a prick. Why am I letting him ruin everything? If he didn't like who I was becoming, then fuck him!
Shit that hurts to think of him as nothing to me, but that's how he made it.
"You know what? I say fuck yes! A girls night sounds perfect." I said with the biggest smile I could put on.
I wasn't ok right now, but I will be. Maybe one day I would be ok with Christian too. I couldn't think about that though. He made it clear we are not friends and I'm not letting anyone change me.
———
"So, details Alley. Has anything ever happened between you and Ace?" Katie asked, wiggling her eyebrows.
"I told you a hundred times. Nothing but friends. Or I guess ex-friends now." I said shrugging my shoulders. "Can we please have one Ace free night?" I took off my towel and jumped into Layla's pool.
She lived in a freaking castle with the largest pool I've ever seen. There was a jacuzzi, stone pillars with fire, lights inside and outside the pool, and an actual waterfall.
Layla took her towel off and had a one piece on with bathing suit shorts. Katie and I both eyed her suspiciously.
"Layla, I don't want to upset you, but you know you can be yourself with us. Tell us anything. We would never judge you." I said, giving her such an emotional stare.
"What are you talking about?" She looked worried between Katie and me.
"We noticed that you always cover up your body. It's fine, but if there is something else to it you can tell us. You don't have to hide with us." Katie said, trying to reassure her.
Layla's face dropped instantly. She pulled at her swim shorts and tears began swelling in her eyes. I got so mad at myself for pushing the subject. Friends don't make each other uncomfortable.
I swam to her and wrapped my arms around her. "Never mind, forget we said anything, ok. Katie and I just wanted to say we love you and you can tell us anything, but whenever or if ever you wanted to. For tonight let's just have some fun." I splashed her with water, and she giggled trying to block it.
"Oh, that's what you want to do?" Layla started splashing me nonstop until she was close enough to dunk my head underwater. I grabbed her waist and pulled her down with me.
We both came up for air and started laughing when Katie started splashing, backing us into the waterfall. There was a little cove under it with seats all around.
"Your pool is like fucking heaven Layla. Why do we always hangout at my house when we could be here all the time?" I asked, trying to take in the beauty of her pool, yard, and house.
"I don't know. You always invited us to your house. I like your house anyways. It's like a cute cottage in the middle of nowhere." Layla replied
"You're so strange." Katie said laughing at Layla's interpretation of my shack of a house I call home.
Layla gave a smile then looked down at her feet. She motioned us to come under the waterfall and we all sat in the little cave curved out underneath it.
"There is something I want to tell you guys, but I don't know how to start." She took a deep breath. I didn't want to say anything, afraid I would make her feel like she couldn't talk.
"You know my dad passed away a few years ago?" We both nodded our heads at her, but I actually had no idea. I didn't really know anything about her or Katie.
She took another deep breath. "Well, he wasn't my biological father. My mom got pregnant, but my real father didn't want anything to do with her. To avoid embarrassment, she married Roger and they told everyone I was his. Shortly after I was born, he started hitting her, then he started betting on her to his friends. One time he lost a poker game and she had to give the winner a blow job." Tears started coming down her face.
All I could do was reach for her hand. I had no words for what she was telling us. How could this even be real?
"I only knew because when I turned twelve and got my period, he started messing with me. He never forced himself on me, but he had me do other things to both him and his friends. That's when my mom told me the truth, he wasn't my biological father. About six months after he started abusing me, I started cutting myself to help relieve the helplessness I felt. I never show my thighs or arms because I don't want anyone to see the scars I put there. I don't want to be reminded how worthless I felt."
I reached for her head to guide it on my shoulder and Katie hugged her from the other side. "I'm so sorry Layla. I'll never let anyone make you feel that way again." I whispered to her trying to console her tears.
Layla collapsed in uncontrollable tears and I gave Katie a concerned look, but we never let her go. There was no way all that happened to this sweet girl. I couldn't comprehend what she just told us.
"Layla sweetie, I'm so fucking sorry for everything that bastard did to you. No one will hurt you like that again. I promise." I told her with so much conviction.
Although my home life was not the same it was eerily similar. It was weird to think we were on opposite sides in this town, but beaten down just the same.
Katie was lightly caressing her hair, reassuring her that she was with us.
"I'm with Alley, no one will touch you, and I Iove you, chickee." Katie added hugging her tighter.
"Love you guys too and thank you. I never thought I would have friends like you. It's the first time I feel comfortable to be myself. Whoever that is." Layla squeezed us back in the tightest hug we could possibly give each other.
It was bittersweet to have this comradery with them. I loved how quickly we found each other. I loved that we had this sense of trust and friendship with each other, but in a weird way it also felt like I was betraying Christian and Derek too.