What I want to do is fulfill the love of Miyuki, and although it hurts me to do that, my task will never change. The pain I've been feeling seeing Yoshito and Miyuki getting closer began to lessen, I'm not really sure if I feel happy or sad about it, I've been making this too complicated for myself. I've been feeling anxious actually, wondering whether me marrying Miyuki was actually real, but that doesn't matter anymore, what matters is Yohsito and Miyuki have been getting closer as time passes. When we went to the beach, she jumped on him, clinging, and they both fell in the water. We also went to a festival, where they were playfully fighting over shaved ice. On Halloween, they wore matching banana costumes. They were always at each other's side, laughing together without a care in the world. It's obvious that their feelings for each other have begun to grow, it's nice, my plan is almost complete.
When we got married, Miyuki looked very beautiful in her dress. She was also very nervous and said something that'll always stick with me.
"I'm a bit of an idiot, so there's a possibility that I'll cause nothing but trouble, but we should spend the rest of our lives smiling, laughing, and loving each other, okay?" Miyuki spoke her vows and smiled brightly.
Things didn't go as planned, but that memory will always remain in my mind.
We're approaching the end of November and Miyuki still hasn't confessed to Yoshito, which is quite worrying considering she confessed to him in the beginning of November in my past. Maybe they're hiding their feelings for each other, something I really don't want to happen.
Someone knocks on the door to my apartment and it's Eri.
"Sorry I'm here this late." Eri was at the doorstep, shivering.
"Eri? Sorry, come in, it's cold out there." I quickly let her enter my apartment.
"Does me being here really surprise you?" She looked a bit concerned.
It was always unusual for her to visit me at my apartment, even in the first past, so this really is surprising. Plus, when we should visit, she'd let me know beforehand.
"Here, you can use this." I gave her a cushion to sit on and we entered my room.
"I had a feeling your room would be really organized and clean, guess I was right." She began to look around.
"And why is that?"
"It just seems appropriate for you, Yasuhito." She turned to me, and smiled.
She's begun to address me by my name more often lately, she started doing that a bit after we graduated in the past.
"It's also too organized, it feels like nobody lives here." Her smile went away as she said that.
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" I asked, appearing very curious.
"Yasuhito, do you have any friends other than us?" She continued with the serious stare.
"Huh? Why are you asking?"
"…"
"I may not be a social person…and I'm aware that I don't have a big circle, but you really don't have to be mean, I do have other friends." I returned, without confidence.
"I know you're not all that sociable, you actually act very normal, too normal. And when you're around us, you're very thoughtful, too thoughtful that it's a bit bothersome at times, I just thought that it was a bit of a mystery." She frantically explained herself.
"Did you come over to make fun of me or something?" I chuckled, also feeling a little flustered.
"No! I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry." She looked down, feeling guilty.
"The reason I came over.. it's about Miyuki." She continued.
"About Miyuki?!" I jumped up a little in surprise.
"I'm sure you know this, but Miyuki can be a bit of an idiot at times." She gave a small huff, smiling to herself.
"But at the same time, she's also very considerate of others…so…how can I say this? She can't seem to be able to say it." She explained further, looking troubled.
"Say it? Say what?" I moved a bit closer to Eri.
"Seriously, you pay close attention to all of us, yet you can't notice this? Or are you making fun of me now?" She looked at me with the same troubled expression.
"No, that isn't my intention at all." I backed off.
"Okay, so here's what's wrong… she can't tell Yoshito that she has feelings for him."
"…" Pain spread throughout my entire body as Eri said that. Eri seemed to have noticed and looked away quickly.
"All of us are getting closer, too close, right? I think she's just worried that having feelings for someone within the group will only cause trouble for everyone." Eri said, no looking away from me.
"Even if it goes well or wrong, she only thinks that it'll only be troublesome for us, she's very worried. Plus, we didn't even make a rule of not allowing to date someone within the group, but there she is all worr-"
"I get it." I firmly spoke, cutting her off, and she looked at me, startled.
Miyuki doesn't have to worry about that anymore.
"Why are you smiling, Yasuhito?" Eri asked, which brought me back to my senses.
"What? No I'm not." I put my hand over my mouth.
"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, it's just how she is." I continued.
"So you're saying that it's fine by you?" She looked at me angrily.
"Fine with it? Of course! I approve of it." I gave a thumbs up.
"You like Miyuki, right?" Eri spoke with a tone filled with irritation, which froze me up.
"That's not tr-"
"You really don't have to hide it, it's obvious, in your eyes, your feelings, your awareness of her, almost all of it is for her, and I think she's a bit aware of it as well." Eri smiled slightly, but the smile didn't seem real.
"You're always trying to keep some distance from her, what are you planning? And if I'm being honest, I feel like you'd be a better match for her, I feel like you'd make her happier." Eri's eyes had a hint of sadness as she said that.
"Pfft..happier? No way." I laughed laboriously.
"What's so funny?" She looked at me, confused.
"It's nothing, I'm just not the one that could make her happier, it's Yoshito."
"What makes you say that? You always build up Yoshito and end up treating yourself like some piece of trash. If I'm being honest, seeing you act like that annoys me." Eri said angrily, her temper rising.
"You like Miyuki! That's a fact, so why can't you just say that you'll make her happier?! Is that so difficult?!" She let out an unexpected outburst.
"No! I can't make her happier! It's just..ugh." I held my head.
"I just know, okay? There's no other reason behind it."
"If you say so, I won't push you for an answer." She quietly replied with.
"…"
"…"
Silence filled the room for a bit.
"Eri, I… I'd like for you to go out with me!" I roughly put my hands on the floor and bowed.
"Huh?! What are you talking about?! Do you seriously think if we start dating, Miyuki wouldn't care about confessing to Yoshito? Are you serious?!" Eri began to freak out, with her voice being shaky.
"I'm begging you… please.. I know it's a very selfish favor… and I'm deeply sorry but it's for the best!" I kept my eyes on the floor.
"So you really like Miyuki that much? You idiot…fine." She softly spoke.
I really am an awful person, asking for something this ridiculous.
"Screw you…you're terrible Yasuhito…you really don't understand what you're doing, don't make me seem like an idiot." Eri's voice is very weak, depressing, and lost, like it could disappear at any given moment.
"You really are an idiot, I've never met an idiot like you, if you like Miyuki that much then fine, I'll start dating you." Eri covered my hands with hers, and I looked up at her in surprise and saw that she had teary eyes.
"Eri…thank you..and I'm really sorry for this." I looked back down in guilt.
"Don't look so guilty, it makes you seem pathetic, and I'm not a big fan of pathetic men." Eri chuckled and hugged me, her voice sounding a bit more lively than before
"I know how terrible of a favor this is, but I also know that you're suffering, and I'd be more than willing to take on half of that pain for you."
"Thank you, Eri!" I hugged her back.
Eri then stood back up and walked towards the door to exit my apartment.
"It's settled then, tomorrow we'll let Miyuki and Yoshito know about us dating." She turned around.
"Okay, I'm seriously sorry about asking you for this favor."
"You should stop apologizing already, you'll only make it obvious that it's a lie…well then, Yasuhito, goodnight." Eri then opened the door and left with an infuriated smile.
The next day we let Yoshito and Miyuki know about us dating, they just kept on congratulating us, all while starting with their teasing.
And a couple of days later, Miyuki and Yoshito told us that they, too, have begun dating.
I spent most of these nights silently crying.