The next morning, it feels like I'm dying.
I can't even get up to look after mom.
Everything hurts and don't even get me started on my night. I couldn't sleep for more than three hours.
I threw up three times, and I'm pretty sure I have a fever.
I never get sick! I can't believe this.
I called Twyla to inform her I absolutely won't be able to work today.
And now I'm lying here in bed, thinking about if I should end my horrible suffering.
I. Hate. Being. Sick.
I call Theo and Aiden.
"Hey Azzie! How are you?"
"I'm dying. I-"
"What?!" Aidens frantic voice cuts in, "What is wrong?!"
"What's going on? Are you okay Azzie?" Theo cuts in.
"Okay okay, maybe I'm not literally dying! But I feel like I am okay?"
I hear them both exhale.
"Okay, we're coming." I hear Aiden say.
"Wait wait wait no-" but they already hang up on me.
Are you kidding me?!
I don't want them to come, and see the mess that is me right now.
Especially not Aiden!
Not even ten minutes later the doorbell rings.
I force myself to get up and open the door.
"Damn you look like shit." Aiden says, Theo nods in agreement and I close the door again. "No, wait. I'm sorry!"
I'm still trying to close the door. I really don't need Aiden's insults right now.
"Azzie, we're sorry! Come on, let us in!"
I roll my eyes and open the door.
They both enter and I walk back towards the bed, because I really can't keep standing.
But on the way there, I start swaying.
Before I hit the ground, I feel Aiden grab me.
He carries me towards the bed.
Theo comes with a wet cloth, probably for my fever.
He touches his hand to my forehead and hisses.
"What?" Aiden snaps.
"Az, you're hot as hell," I smirk and hum in agreement, but apparently Theo is not in the mood for a little joke. "Az, you have to go to the doctor." I immediately start to shake my head.
"Okay let's get her into the car." Aiden grabs me but I push him off.
"Azalea! You have to go to the doctor." he states but I just keep shaking my head, which is stupid because my head hurts sooo bad.
"No!"
"What do you mean no? Of course we'll go. Now stop being a, stubborn shit and come with me."
"No."
"Azalea."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Get up."
"No."
"I gave more you more than enough chances." He says before putting one hand under my knees, the other one on my back and pulls me close to his chest, carrying me to the car.
"Aiden, please! I really don't want to."
"Why? Don't tell me you're scared of needles." He huffs annoyed.
"No it's just," I pause, I'll just tell him, I don't care anymore "I don't have health insurance okay? I can't go to the doctor right now. I'll be okay in at least two days anyway!"
He stares at me dumbfounded.
"I'll pay. Now let's go."
That's an absolute no!
But he doesn't give me a chance to argue.
He puts me into the car with Theo next to me, and starts driving.
"I feel like I'm dying."
"You won't. It's okay." I put my head on Theo's shoulder and close my eyes while he rubs my arm up and down.
~
Someone is tapping my shoulder and I could scream because I was finally able to get a little bit of sleep.
"I'm sorry Az, but we're here." Theo says and Aiden helps me out of the car. He practically drags me towards the doctor.
Turns out I've caught the flu, with the right care and a lot of resting I should be fine though.
When we're back home I'm collapse onto the bed, and I never wanna get up again!
Ever!
"Here take these!" Aiden holds out the medicine we just got from the pharmacy.
I take it and then he puts the blanket over me.
"Theo is making you some tea."
I start shivering since I just got really cold. Aiden curses under his breath and then climbs into my bed.
I would scream under any other circumstances but when he pulls me close to his warm chest, I never want to leave again.
Theo brings me my tea, kisses my forehead and says goodbye because he has to go home to get something done.
He threatens Aiden to be good to me, before leaving.
With my head on Aidens chest I fall asleep quickly.
~
I wake up sweaty and hot.
I also think my head is going to explode.
I feel something or better someone under me move.
"Azalea?" I hear Aiden raspy voice.
"Oh gods, what are you doing in my bed? I'm dying! This is no good time for you to admit how much you love me!"
I know, a bit dramatic but maybe the sleep loss is getting to me.
He raises an eyebrow.
"No, but seriously. I feel like shit, look like shit and everything is just shit, so please could you go?"
"I won't go until you feel better Azalea."
I roll my eyes. "But why? You hate me!"
"I don't hate you. I already said that. You're just annoying as hell."
"Well if I'm really so annoying then why don't you just go." I turn away from him insulted.
"Don't be mad at me. On rare occasions you're fun to be around."
"Oh my godddd. You're only making it worse. Now go-" oh no. Please no. I'd rather die than puke in front of Aiden Torres.
I run to the bathroom. Well, I try at least. My legs are wobbly.
It feels like I'm puking out my whole guts.
Aiden comes into the bathroom and he takes a hold of my hair.
"You're not supposed to see me like this! Please go away." I can't believe this happening.
"I've seen you in worse conditions okay? Now shut up and let me help you."
I don't say anything because I'm just too weak to fight back right now.
Once I'm finished Aiden gives me a wet cloth for my mouth and something to drink.
He brings me to our couch and we start watching something, I don't even know what.
I'm out again in about five minutes.
~
The ringing doorbell wakes me.
"I'll get it." Aiden whispers and gets up.
About one minute later Theo walks in with a big bag in his hand.
"I brought you some soup. How are you feeling? Was Aiden being bearable?"
"I'm standing right here Theo."
Theo ignores him and makes the soup warm for me.
"Guys you really don't have to stay. I feel a bit better right now."
"Mhm, right now. And what about in one hour?" Theo asks, one eyebrow raised.
"Theo?"
"Hmm?"
"Could you," I breath out through my nose "could you look after my mom?"
"Wait she's here?"
"Yeah, where else should she be?"
"Doesn't matter, of course I'll look after her."
Theo leaves and Aiden looks at me weirdly.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I- I don't know. Can we not talk about this right now?"
He nods but it looks like I'm not out of this yet.
They both stay with me until it's dark and then they return home.
Because it's also school tomorrow.
So I call Chiara.
"C?"
"Hey babes. How are you?"
"Not so good honestly. I'm sick and I feel like I'm dying."
"What? Why didn't you call me? Is it bad? Is there someone looking after you?"
"Don't worry, Theo and Aiden were very great. And I just forgot I'm sorry."
"Aiden?"
"Yes Chiara, Aiden."
"So what? Do we like him now?"
"I- it's complicated okay?"
"Mhm."
"How are you doing?"
She tells me about how she's not so sure about the guy she's been seeing anymore.
I tell her that if he hurts her, I'm gonna skin him alive.
Sometime I fall asleep with her still on the phone.
Her voice is just so soothing.
~
I'm soooo bored.
I hate not being able to do something.
I don't feel like I'm dying anymore but I still feel like shit.
I don't know how to feel about Aiden being so nice to me.
And I don't like the feeling, that feels suspiciously like longing, cursing through me.
I'm already angry at myself for letting Theo get so close to me, I can't let the same thing happen with Aiden.
I definitely won't consider us enemies anymore but is friends too much.
Nothing really describes how I feel about him.
Mom has been sleeping most of the time but now she's at work.
She's just a cashier at Walmart, she lost her actual job when she lost everything else.
Except me.
No matter how hard it gets, she'll never loose me.
That's for sure.
I start doing some of the assignment I can do by myself, when I feel better.
And I'm confident I'll be able to go to school again tomorrow.
I hate school more than nearly anything, but I hate having to catch up on everything I missed even more.
Theo and Aiden both text me about one million times; how I am? If I'm okay? If I'm good? If I need anything etc.
So the same question in just about a million versions.
Even though I'm a bit annoyed I hate myself for how much I enjoy it.
Being that important to someone.
To have someone think of you, think of your well-being.
And for this someone to be worried about you.
I'll have to ask Aiden if were friends or what.
Because I need to know what he thinks about it.
I definitely won't call it 'us' because there is no us, and even if we'll become friends, there never will be an us.
I just can't.
Not ever again.