Azalea's pov
It's been 20 minutes since his father left after telling his damn son that his mother just died.
I carefully look at Aiden because I didn't dare to yet.
And my sight shatters me.
I know he's trying to be strong but there're silent tears making their way down his cheeks.
His fists are clenched but they tremble.
I know how it feels to lose someone.
"Love?" I say but he doesn't look at me.
I slide closer to him.
And I put my arms around him, and pull him into me.
At first he doesn't react but then he puts his arms around my waist and puts his head on my lap.
I automatically put my upper body protectively above him.
"It's okay baby." I kiss his head.
That's when I feel his shoulders shaking.
And my heart breaks as Aiden is sobbing on my lap.
I just try to silently comfort him, because I know no words could make this easier for him.
I myself experienced it with my little sister.
I put my hands in his hair and massage his scalp, soothing him with little words.
After some minutes he calms down again and I kiss his forehead.
"I'm here okay?" I just want him to know I won't leave him alone.
"Do you wanna leave? I wanna show you something."
He nods but stays quiet.
I take his hand, squeeze and then walk with him to his car.
I don't know if he's okay with me driving-
He open the door to the passenger side and gets in. That's cleared.
I get in behind the steering wheel and start the engine.
Goddamn I'm scared to damage this car in any way.
But I think that's the least of his problems right now, so I just start driving.
The drive is around an hour.
I stop at a gas station and get us some food.
He looks out the window the whole drive but doesn't talk, and I totally don't mind.
I hate forced talking.
If there's nothing to talk about, just shut up.
I'm only a little worried that he'll get too lost in his thoughts.
We arrive at the little cottage in the middle of the forest, that belonged to my grandma.
We both get out of the car, I take the snacks and food with me and unlock the cottage.
I feel Aidens presence behind me.
The first step into the little house feels incredible weird.
"I um went here often after my sister passed. I just needed space from everyone.
You can stay here as long as you want."
"You're not staying?"
"I-if you want to? I just thought you'd want to be alone."
"Please stay."
"Okay. Yes, sure I'll stay." I smile a sad smile at him. "Okay, let's get you out of your suit."
I nearly died when I saw him in his suit.
He looked so fucking good in it.
I was jealous of everyone at the wedding who was allowed to see him like that.
I show him the bedroom and go to the closet where some of my dads clothes still are.
I pull out a simple white shirt and jeans.
"I hope this is okay. It's my dads stuff but well I guess he'll never come back to wear it anyway." Aiden nods.
"That's fine. Thank you."
"I'll make us something to eat, you can shower or take a nap. Whatever you'd like. And just call me if you need anything."
"Thank you Az." I smile at him.
I go to the kitchen and make us some simple sandwiches because I didn't get very much at the gas station, But it'll do for now.
I call C while making them.
"Hey babes! I haven't heard from you in some time. And you didn't answer when I called." I just know she has her hands on her hip, in her mom pose.
"I'm sorry C! I really wanted to call you back! Please forgive me."
"Don't be so dramatic," I roll my eyes "and don't roll your eyes at me." She chuckles. How does she know me so well?
"I've got some news!" She announces excitedly. "I'll be coming back six months earlier than planned!"
My eyes widen "What?"
"Don't sound too excited bestie."
"No I mean. What? But how? That's amazing C!" I'm not too loud, in case Aiden decided to take a nap.
"My dad is gonna stay and finish the case but mom, me and Luke are going back earlier." Luke is her little brother and he's a sweetheart.
"C I'm so happy but what about the guy you were dating?"
"Oh that's no problem. Az it's perfect! Because he got a job offer just twenty minutes away from our school."
"Seriously C that's freaking amazing. I would scream if I wasn't alone right now."
"Oh is there someone with you?" I can hear her smirk.
I breath out through my nose. "I- oh C, it all sucks."
"Azi? What is wrong? You'd tell me if something was wrong right?" I can immediately sense her worry. She's been the one helping me through all the shit that went down years ago.
"It's not me, don't worry. But it's Aiden." I take a deep breath "I don't know how much I'm supposed to tell you, because I don't wanna betray Aidens trust or anything."
"You know I would never tell anyone, but if you're not comfortable with telling me, then I totally understand." Oh, how much I love this girl.
"I can tell you that someone very important to Aiden just passed away, like five hours ago. And I'm scared for him C. Am I really the right person to help him through this?" I groan frustrated.
"Azi, you know that you're the best person for this. I would do anything to make the bad things that happened to you undone, but at least this way it can be good for something? And the easiest way to know is to just ask him. He knows the best what he needs right now."
"I love you C, thank you so much."
"Always! I love ya too Azi. Call me if you need anything."
"I will. And the same thing applies to you."
"I know, au revoir bestie!"
We both hang up, and like always, I feel much better after a call with C.
I take the sandwiches, something to drink and go to look after Aiden.
He's still in the bedroom, but he's not sleeping, he's looking at all the family pictures there.
It always hurt to look at them.
Dad, mom, Soli and me completely content, our smiles genuine.
But I couldn't bring myself to put them away.
"You're sister looks very much like you."
I smile, "yeah, a lot people actually told us so."
"What is her name?"
"Her name is Soleil." I don't translate it because he knows French and he knows it means sun.
"It fit perfectly because she really was our sun. And then our sun just got ripped away from us, and I guess mom and dad never made it out of the darkness.
Sometimes even my days are completely dark. But I have people who light it up for me instead of her now." I smile and try to not let the tears flow.
"You can cry you know? I mean I was just sobbing all over you three hours ago."
"You're right. I just," I take a deep breath. If my trauma distracts him from his own, then I'd pull out my darkest secrets and fears. "I just, sometimes feel weak, when I let the pain take a hold on me and make me cry."
"I get it." He doesn't say more and it's okay.
We both sit down on the bed and I start eating my sandwich but Aiden says, he's not hungry.
"Do you wanna watch a movie?"
We luckily have signal here.
"I think I'd rather go to sleep."
"Of course, I'll go sleep on the ground."
"No, it's okay Az. If you're comfortable you can sleep on the bed with me or I'll sleep on the ground not you." I try to not roll my eyes at him. His mom just died, but his ego is still right there unscathed.
Maybe I also just don't wanna admit what him being such a gentleman does to me.
We both end up in the bed, because obviously I won't let him sleep on the floor. Under normal circumstances I probably would've, but not today.
It's hard to fall asleep with him this close.
His addicting scent filling my lungs.
But eventually I do.
~
"Az?"
I can't-
I can't believe it-
"Azalea?"
How could he-
He was my everything-
My-
"Lux mea?! Wake up!"
My eyes snap open and I'm breathing like the oxygen will be taken from me in a second.
My lungs working in overload.
With wide eyes I look around the room and memory after memory floods my brain.
I can feel the tears streaming down my cheeks.
What-what ugh!
"Azalea?"
I startle and look to my right.
Where I find Aiden looking at me with wide eyes.
Oh god.
I put my face in my hands.
"I'm so sorry." I let out an embarrassing sob. "Oh my god, I shouldn't be the one crying right now!"
"Love, it's okay." I feel his big arms come around me and I have to concentrate to not cry harder.
I hide my face in his chest and his arms tighten around me.
"Az, what is wrong? Please tell me you're okay?!"
I nod into his chest.
"Words love."
I roll my eyes but don't argue "I'm fine."
"Do you wanna tell me what happened?"
"I-I don't want you to- I mean you have enough on your plate as it is."
"You can always tell me everything, no matter what." My lips start to tremble.
And I bite down harshly. Ugh.
I hate being such a crybaby.
Tears are so unnecessary!
"I just had a nightmare, nothing out of the ordinary."
He looks just more concerned now.
"What does that mean? Do you have nightmares often?"
"I got it under control but in the last weeks it got pretty bad again. I don't know why."
"But do you know why you have them in the first place?"
I take a deep breath "yeah I do, but I don't know if I can talk ab-"
"Az you don't have to tell me anything you're not comfortable with telling me."
"I know, but I kinda wanna tell you. I don't know why, no offense."
"None taken. It's okay lux mea. Whatever you do is fine with me."
Is this another Aiden? What's happening?
Anyway, I mean I can tell him something right? I don't have to tell him everything.
"Okay so I've had nightmares after," I take a deep breath. I cant even say it goddamnit. "after Liam. Ugh I hate to even say his name."
"It's okay."
"Okay, so Liam, my ex, he was like a dream at the beginning. But naïve me, never questioned it. He was literally too good to be true.
We hopped into a relationship pretty fast, right after my fifteenth birthday. So I was still very young.
Not much time after that Soli passed away and I was devastated as you can imagine." I take three deep breaths. I can do this. I already talked to strangers about it so why is it so hard to tell Aiden?
He takes my hand in his.
"I thought I was dying of the pain I felt, but Liam pulled me out of it, and I got depended on him. He was my everything at that time. I now know that he knew exactly what was going on. And the psycho loved me being dependent on him. He was two years older than me.
Long story short, the bastard dropped me after he got bored. And then everything hit rock bottom for me." I really wish he did only that. But that's all anyone can get out of me today.
I open my eyes and look at Aiden, I didn't even notice I closed my eyes.
"Thank you for telling me." He says and I nod.
"Do you wanna go on a walk. I can show you some nice places I know about?" I ask him, ready to change the subject.
"Sure, getting some fresh air will be good."