Dennis…
Like what I expected, Sam didn’t join me in dismissal. He was really working his ass off of this presentation for the Acquaintance Party. I came back to the faculty room from our spot, I wearily put my things in my backpack and left.
I took the pathway on the other side of the University. I once again felt the cold breeze of the afternoon wind on my face. The atmosphere in the place was very tranquil. The rustling sound of the bougainvillea were music to the ears. I couldn’t help but smile as I appreciate this simple gift from nature after a long day at work.
As I was walking, I felt my phone vibrates in my pocket. I was expecting a text from Sam because of the note I wrote on his desk telling him that I left already. I was sure that he left his phone in his drawer while practicing so he hadn’t read my message yet.
But the text wasn’t from Sam, it’s from kulit.
“What is it this time?”, I lazily opened his text.
“The wind in the afternoon is very refreshing, is it not? Take care as you go home.”, kulit texted.
A sudden jolt of electricity run through my veins as I read his message. I roam my eyes around the vicinity. I don’t know why but it made me think that kulit is just around the area. Is he watching me right now? Is he here too? Are we on the same place as of this moment? Why does it seem like he knows what I am doing?
My heart was suddenly filled with worry. No one must know what I was doing outside the University, outside my profession.
After I made sure that no one is around, I hurriedly walked away and left towards that campus gate. I immediately took the first jeepney that passed and never looked back. I was dumbfounded and complete mind blown while sitting inside. Kulit made my heart beat so fast in worry.
“Am I just overthinking it?”, I whispered to myself.
It was just a text. It might be just a coincidence that we were getting home at the same time of the day and were both experiencing the fresh breeze of the afternoon wind. It didn’t mean we were on the same pathway at the same University.
I was haunted by kulit’s text althroughout my travel home. I was thinking about all his text messages. I was thinking of the very first and all the things that he’d been texting. Thinking that it might gave me some clues of his whereabouts; where he lived, where he goes to school, anything. I just wanted to have any idea about him.
“I shouldn’t have agreed on meeting this kid in the first place. He’s types really are a pain in the ass.”, I said heavily under gritted teeth
Jefferson…
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you.”, I song woke me up from my sleep.
With blurry vision, I hear two persons singing this song on my bedside. I watch them as they sing. And even with forced smiles on their lips, they try so hard not to let me notice the sadness in their eyes.
After the song, they bring me the cake close to me with numbered candles on top. It is funny because even if the candles are shaped “2” and “0”, I still blow it with no hesitations. At twenty, they’re still bringing me candled cake on my birthday.
They both clap after I made a blow. The woman removed the candles and put the cake on my bedside table. Where am I? the first question that formed in my mind. This is not my room.
The walls are painted white. My bed sheet and pillow are covered in white cotton. There is heavy equipment on one side of the bed just beside the head board and two oxygen tanks on the other side.
I think I am in a hospital.
“Son, do you want a cake? This is your favorite, Black Forest. I’ll get you a slice.”, she asked me and she called me son. That means, this woman in front of me is my mother. And maybe, the man beside her is my father.
“How are you feeling?”, the man asked. I was about to answer when I notice the slight nudge of my mother to his side. He looks like he remembered something and suddenly notice his inappropriate question so he withdrew it.
“Happy 20th birthday son! What do you want to do after this?”, the man asked me happily, changing his first question. I may be lying in a hospital bed but I am still aware of what’s going on my surrounding.
“Dad,”, I tried opening my mouth. “I’m good. It’s okay.”
Smiles lined on the lips of my parents. Seeing them smile brings a spark of joy in my heart. I felt that a heavy load was lifted on their chest knowing fully well that I am fine. It is my birthday and we should be happy. That was the only thing on my mind and hoped that it was enough to make my parents calm.
After several days, I was discharged from the hospital and my parents brought me home. We live in a small apartment in Tunasan. They both have jobs and because of that I was left alone in the house most of the days. I grew up with less supervision from them. I was raised in series of instructions on what to do and not what to do. I taught myself with a lot of things. Youtube is the best teacher I’d ever had. It taught me how to cook my own food, how to clean the house and do the laundry.
In a few weeks, the school year is about to start. I do not remember where did mom enrolled me in Senior High School. All I know is that it’s near and a couple of minutes ride only from our house, so that it wouldn’t be hard for me to travel alone when coming to school.
I am used to coming to school since grade school. But maybe my parents are just cautious with me after the accident. I couldn’t remember my mom cooking breakfast for me. I always had microwaved oven foods or packed foods that are prepared in our refrigerator. They never fetched me to school because they need to be at work.
That’s our set up at home but I was never deprived of anything that I need when I was growing up. I am always in school field trips. I always have money to buy projects. I am in every school’s events. I am always the lead in school’s presentations. My classmates are envy at my packed lunch during break time.
But despite of it all, I don’t have parents who watches my stage performances, no parents to put medals on my neck, no parents to cook my foods. They’re not there. I am always by myself. I was escorted by my loving teachers every time I needed someone to be with me on stage.
But lately, I feel that mom is exerting efforts to take care of me. He cooks me breakfast. He cleans my room. She even comes with me when I want to go out. I even snapped at her one time because she wanted to escort me inside the restroom.
First day of Senior High School and I am excited to come to school. I prepared everything that I need the night before; my uniform, my shoes, my binder. All my things are new. I was so ready to come to school the next day, or so I thought.
I woke up early that day. I remember standing up and walking to my bathroom when everything went black. The next thing I know is that I am looking at my ceiling. I was lying flat on the floor and I couldn’t move my body. I hear mom and dad’s footstep running towards my room. I remember mom screaming for help when they found me. I felt dad’s strong arms around my shoulders as he pulled me from the floor and carry me to the car.
My parents rushed me to the hospital. I could feel the car speeding with dad on the driver seat. I was lying on the back seat with my head rested on my mom’s lap. I looked up I could see mom weeping. Her tears were dripping on my cheeks. I wanted to say something but I couldn’t. I was drowned by the weakness covering my entire body. I surrendered to the feeling and let my eyelids close.
I couldn’t remember how many hours or days I was in the hospital. Every time I open my eyes all I could see is white. I remember mom was with me in the room. I wanted to call her but my body was very weak. At night, I see her sleeping on my bedside. Her cheeks were wet with tears from crying.
One night, I forced myself to stand and go to the comfort room. I moved very softly so that I won’t wake her up. But I was just about to close the bathroom’s door when I heard mom’s voice calling me frantically. I hurriedly opened the door to show her that I’m just inside but I saw her still head bowed on my bed.
My mom was only dreaming. She was dreaming about me. I felt stronger by the day. I didn’t want her to worry too much. She may haven’t looked over me as I was growing but she is still my mom and she worries, a lot. I may never understand what she feels about me but I made a decision that night after seeing her, I want to be strong. I want to get better.
Whatever condition I am right now, I don’t want it to affect our lives especially my mom and dad. I will make everything go back to the way they were.
I went back to my bed that night and tried to capture some sleep.