Dennis…
“Hi”, my simple reply to kulit’s text message.
After a quick change of clothes and brushing of teeth, I laid my back straight to bed. I usually watch the television when I come home but I didn’t feel in the mood to watch right now. I even skipped snack earlier. I immediately get inside my room and lay down.
No matter how I convinced myself I couldn’t suppress the idea that kulit might be in the same place as I was in the University. My mind was swirling while staring straight up to my ceiling. I remained in that position for a while, thinking.
“Sh*t, this is so messed up.”, I whispered irritatingly to myself.
I snatched my phone from my pocket and scrolled over kulit’s text messages. I won’t calm down until I am sure kulit didn’t know me at all. I went back to his message earlier at read on it over and over, “The wind in the afternoon is very refreshing, is it not? Take care as you go home.”, I kept on thinking that kulit might be in the hallway earlier looking at me.
Then I thought, there is no other way to ensure my suspicion but to reply to his message. What should I reply? Something that won’t show that I am guilty. He texted me with “hi”, why shouldn’t I reply with “hi” as well? Sent. I don’t know if he will reply back but this is better that not doing anything.
I was about to tuck my phone under my pillow when it vibrates. I immediately looked at the screen and read who the message was from. Sh*t, its kulit! He replied back. I sat straight up from bed and open the text.
“Hey, you are still up. How are you?”
I was holding my phone tightly. I was staring at it and thinking if I should or shouldn’t reply back. If I do, the connection will start between the two of us. This time, I must know who this kulit is and make sure that he doesn’t know anything about me to stop my worrying.
I thought of asking him how his day was to begin with,
Me: I’m fine. Just chillin’ in bed. Trying to get some sleep. How about you?
Kulit: Same. Not yet sleeping. I’m in our terrace, catching up with some fresh air.
Me: That’s nice. Try it with some chilled choco-choco. It’s better.
I was thinking of cracking up some joke to lighten up the conversation.
Kulit: We don’t have choco-choco here, only at school. Funny that you are still receiving my random messages. I was thinking you already blocked me on your phone.
So I was right all along. Those were random messages. Unintentional. Same with all of his messages. Same with his text message this afternoon, random.
Me: What school do you go to?
I asked. It took him a minute before replying.
Kulit: I’m sorry. You are not on my contacts so I practically do not know who you are. Is it okay if I skip the question for next time?
Me: Of course. Smart.
Kulit: I hope you’re not offended.
I did not reply immediately. I am sure that he can’t bear not being replied to by an unknown number.
Kulit: Are you still there?
Kulit: Please don’t get mad.
Kulit: I’m sorry.
Kulit: I was just trying to get to know you. I don’t have much friends around.
I thought if I don’t reply to him, I won’t get the information I need from him. So I made my question a little general instead.
Me: How’s your class today?
Kulit: They’re all fine. How about yours?
He is starting to ask me back. This is what I am avoiding as much as possible; to give any details to my hookups. But I don’t reply, he won’t reply back as well.
Me: I am already working.
Kulit: where?
Me: in a bank
Kulit: are you a teller?
Me: when somebody works in a bank, he is already a teller?
Kulit: Sorry. What then?
Me: I’m an accountant
I took him a few minutes before texting back.
Kulit: Mr. Accountant?
Flashback
Jefferson…
“Room 305”, I read his text.
At first I was not comfortable with his choice of meeting place. He wanted us to meet in Eurotel in Las Pinas in front of SM South Mall. I am not used to entering such places. Well, I’ve been into several hotels before but not for this reason, hooking up.
I have been texting with “Mr. Accountant” for a month now. We met on an online dating site, exchanged numbers and started texting. At first, hooking up was the only plan. But things changed when started exchanging messages. He is different from most of the guys I had text with from that site. He is very interesting and I didn’t get bored at all.
He knew a lot of things. He seemed very smart. I was thinking my replies to him every time he texted because I didn’t want to look shallow to him.
We texted a lot but he never said anything about himself. Every time I asked about his work, he changed the topic right away. He didn’t want to give me his Facebook either. He said, he wants everything to be private because his family and friends don’t know anything about this.
Even his name was a secret. He only told me to call him “Mr. Accountant”. If this is just anybody from that site, I already ignored him. But this guy was different and I was very excited to meet him. For the very first time, I was meeting a guy from that site not to have s*x. I wanted to know this guy as a person. Know him very well. I was thinking that if we meet in person, he would share details of himself already.
I felt a slight resistance from him at first when I asked him for a dinner. He said, he only meet people for hookups and nothing more. That was the common reason of guys that you would find in that site so I didn’t blame him. I agreed to meet him for hookup.
I admired Mr. Accountant for picking up a decent place for a hookup. Eurotel is not cheap. He said he’ll text me the room number when I’m at the lobby. We decided to meet on a Saturday afternoon. I was hesitant at first because it was too early to be getting in a hotel. Somebody might see us there. But he said it would be fine because no one will suspect of what we are going to do there since it’s still early. Also, he wanted to come home early so that no one will ask him about where he’d been.
“I’m at the front desk already.”, I replied to him.
“Miss, room 305.”, I asked the receptionist. I could look the lady straight in the eyes because I was shy.
“Wait for a while sir.”, the lady acknowledged. She turned around and dial a number on the desk phone. She spoke to somebody on the other line. after a second, she hung up the phone and returned to me.
“You may come in sir. You can take the elevator at the end of the hall.”
***
Sh*t! he recognized me! He mentioned my screen name to all my hookups. I was thinking hard what to reply. How am I going to get out of this? How could I divert his attention to my name?
Me: Yes. I am an accountant.
Kulit didn’t reply. I was hanging very anxious on my bed.
Me: You said you are still studying. How’s school?
I asked in an intention to change to topic.
Kulit: School is fine. I’m a new kid so I don’t have friends yet in class.
Me: It’s been a month already. You still don’t know anybody?
Kulit: I was late coming in because something happened at home.
I wanted to ask him about that situation but I was afraid that he might ask me something back and I couldn’t answer.
Me: Are you coping with your lessons?
Kulit: Hardly. I didn’t feel at ease with my classmates so it’s hard for me. I was always alone at somewhere. But it’s okay.
Me: You are always alone at school? Isn’t that hard?
Kulit: I’m fine. Especially when I’m at my hiding spot in the University. No one sees me there when I cut classes.
Me: That is not good to hear.
Kulit: I was only like that during my first weeks but I am starting to adjust now. Someone is helping me out.
Me: Really. Someone is motivating you then.
Kulit: You can say that. It feels different when he looks and talks to me. I feel like he really understands me.
Me: Please tell me he is not the reason of your happy random text messages lately.
Kulit: He is.
Me: Is he a classmate?
Kulit: No.
Me: Somebody from other section?
Kulit: neither.
Who is he referring to?
Kulit: But he always catches me on my hiding spot when I cut classes.
Me: Did he.
Kulit: Yeah. But I think he is mad at me because that is there place. I always get in there first before they come.
Me: You are not getting into a fight, are you?
Kulit: No. I only come to that spot when they are not around or when I know they are not coming. How about you? how is your life in the bank?
Me: The usual. Same old same old. This guy you are referring to, are you together during dismissal?
Kulit: No. he has other friends. I go home alone. My father fetches me during dismissal.
The weight in my chest was slight lifted. I am certain that he didn’t see in the University and he doesn’t know me at all.
Me: Hey, I have to sleep now. Still have work tomorrow.
Kulit: Sure. Text again tomorrow?
I did not reply to him anymore. I put my phone underneath my pillow and tried to catch some sleep. I knew kulit is still texting me because I could feel my phone vibrating. But now that I know he had no idea who am I at all, I think there is no reason anymore for me to text him.