Two days later…
Jeremy Danielson…
The conversation that I had with Jason a couple of days ago was still playing fresh in my head. I had admitted that I was in love with his daughter, without actually telling him it was his daughter. The relief I felt from admitting it aloud was palpable. For hours afterwards the fear of dread at never being able to admit it had drained away.
I am in love with Dakota.
Completely.
Helplessly.
Devotedly.
Irrevocably.
And there wasn't a damn thing about it that I would change. Except maybe for who her dad was. It truly is not ideal that she is my best friend's little girl. I just have no idea how we are going to tell him.
We have to tell him.
It is getting too hard to hide it. When we are at home it physically hurts not being able to touch her, just to hold her hand, or wrap my arms around her to hold her close to me. Watching her walking around the house in the clothes that she knows drive me crazy, seeing the way she angles her body towards me - my girl is a tease and I love it as much as I hate it.
I want to be able to say to my best friend how much I love his daughter. To tell him how much I will do everything in my power to ensure she is cared for. To tell him that there she will want for nothing. To tell him that I would lay my life down for her in a heart-beat if it meant that she would always be safe.
I know that he is going to react badly when we do tell him. And I can't even say that I would blame him. I feel like we have been underhanded in how we have gone about it. I feel like we have unnecessarily lied to him.
The minute I realised who Dakota was to me, the very second that I realised that she was the love of my life, I should have come straight out with it and told him. I should have spelt out my intentions from the get-go. But how could I?
I hadn't known if she felt the same way. I mean even now; I have no idea of what I mean to her.
Is this just a fling for her?
Am I just a fleeting attraction?
A part of me wants to ask, I want to sit her down and come right out with it, to hear what she has to say on the matter what the answer will be but there is a bigger part of me that is terrified that she will rip my hopes apart.
How could this vibrant, young, amazing woman who has the rest of her life ahead of her, want to settle down and have babies with a man twice her age? I guess you could say that I am finding it hard to believe my own good luck.
"Mmmmm fuck that feels so good-" she currently moaned as my hips clicked into place against hers, my cock buried balls deep inside her slippery channel as those insanely amazing walls clamped down at my root, holding my hostage inside of her.
My elbows dropped down onto the mattress on either side of her head, my fingers splayed out in her long satin smooth hair, winding strands around my fist to give a good tug which in turn left her whimpering helplessly and my cock surging with animalistic need.
"So. Fucking. Tight!" I grunted when her legs dug into my sides, her ankles hooked around my waist and locked just above my ass; the silky-smooth feel of her flesh against mine was as much of a turn-on as everything else about her.
Being that Dakota was in charge of my calendar at work, she had worked her magic to ensure that today we had the whole day free - no meetings, no deadlines needing to be met, no employee reviews, no account reviews. On her request, we had stopped by the office for a brief moment before I took us back here to our hotel room.
Bringing us right to this moment, her tiny body tucked securely underneath mine, her eyes locked on to mine keeping me hostage as much as her pussy was keeping my cock hostage.
Was she trying to tell me something?
We have had a lot of sex in the past week or so, we have had a lot of intimate moments, but this was intimacy on a whole new level. The way she was allowing me to just watch her coming apart, all of the emotions she was feeling flashing through her eyes and across her beautiful features.
Intense intimacy. That was what it felt like.
And not for the first time, I wondered if it were really possible that she could love me too.
My world has been entirely reshaped - what I had once thought important felt unworthy of my time and attention now. What I had once thought that I believed about love paled in stark comparison to the way I feel about Dakota.
In my talk with Jason - he had mentioned possessiveness when he talked about Charleigh. Little did he know that I felt the same way about his daughter. And it wasn't just possession I felt, no, it was obsession too. I was completely and utterly obsessed with this woman. The power she gave me when she allowed me to dominate her was unlike anything that I have ever felt with a woman before.
"Sweetheart-"
"Mmmm?"
"I am in…fuck, if you keep doing that I am not going to last-" I ended up grunting when she used her core muscles to squeeze the entire length of my shaft that was still unmoving inside her.
"I can-can't help it Uncle Remy, you feel-so-mmmm you feel-so-fucking-good!" She purred her hands sliding up my biceps until she was curling around my shoulders and scraping her nails down the length of my back, making me howl and pull back, fighting her desperate attempts to hold me inside her.
"Give me your hands?" I demanded as only the head of my cock was keeping her spread open. Obeying me instantly she brought her hands up to where I was resting mine just above her head.
Lacing our fingers together as slowly I rocked my entire body forward until I was buried as deep as I was ever going to get, and the slight widening and then lustful fluttering of her eyes told me that she was feeling this much deeper than she ever had before. Still our eyes remained locked together in a stare that rocked me to my very core.
For the first time, I came to realise that there was no getting over this girl. If she were to walk away from me now, I would be broken. A shell of who and what I am now.
Without Dakota - I am nothing.
Without Dakota - life lost meaning.
The moment my hips brushed back against hers, I slowly rotated my hips - ensuring that her clit was getting the stimulation that she needed to reach her release. A loud moan followed the subtle circle that my hips made. God, the noises she made seemed to fill me with a sense of complete pride.
I knew how to satisfy my woman.
I knew just what to do to make her body sing. It isn't something that I should know, not so early in our relationship, but from the moment that we gave into this attraction between us, it has been almost as if instinct takes over. Without needing words, we both seemed to know what the other needed. And when.
Impaling her, over and over on my cock built a sweat as the intensity kicked up a notch. There was something in her eyes; something that I hadn't seen before. It almost looked like a sliver of pain. Or regret maybe. But the moment the thought hit me, she blinked, and it was gone, replaced with her usual love and desire.
I had never had a woman look at me the way Dakota does. It is almost as if she believed I could harness the moon and sun for her. It was an addictive feeling and one that I would spend my life ensuring that she always felt when she looked at me, or even just thought of me.
A huge part of me wanted to tell her that I love her. I want to be open and honest about what I am feeling for her, but I had to swallow it down. I didn't want to admit it until we had spoken to my best friend. I had nearly blurted it out a few moments ago but I knew that to admit it now was too reckless. It felt too much like manipulation and that wasn't something that I would ever do to her.
Instead, I focused on the feel of her nails digging into the flesh of my palm and allowed it to cement me into the slow, almost tender form our love-making had taken on today.
Dakota and I have had a lot of sex in the past week or so and each time was more passionate than the last, but it has never been anything like this. Consuming on a whole new level. Nerve-tingling with each thrust of our hips. Mind-altering with every passing second. Nothing has ever felt this amazing.
"Tell me you belong to me!" I groaned hungrily.
"I-I - I'm yours, Uncle Remy!"
"Always!"
"Forever!" She countered, did that mean what I thought it meant? Did she just admit in a round-about sort of way that she loved me?
There was something poignant about this moment. Like we were right on the cusp of declaring our true intent towards each other. The cum in my balls seemed to simmer with need for release.
"I need you to cum for me, sweetheart!" I groaned when I once again felt the clenching from deep in her core where I was buried, "now 'Kota - I'm not going to-fuuuuuuuck baby, that feels so fucking good!" I grunted with the feeling of not only her core clenching, but her walls seemed to ripple around my shaft, "cum for me - NOW!" I demanded of her.
Transferring both of her hands into one of mine and taking advantage of having one hand free, which automatically, as if it had a mind of its own, slid down between our rutting bodies to find her little clit all hard and practically throbbing against the pad of my finger. Sliding across the silken button had her jerk almost instantly and as I pressed a little harder, she erupted in a wave of clenches and fluttering, cushioning my shaft as my own cum propelled up from my balls, flowing through my shaft like it was setting me alight.
Nirvana burst out of my cock in debilitating jets of cum. Painting her womb in some sort of erotic abstract piece of art. Her cunt clamped down and she used her hips to move against me, milking me dry as her name roared out of me like a Goddamn lion on the Serengeti. Announcing to the world that this was my woman, and she was the only Goddess who could satisfy me in the way she was.
All through it, our eyes were still locked together, watching one another as if we were trying to commit the moment to memory.
My back arched, grinding in a little deeper and she cried out in ecstasy. Pleasure tore through her body until we were both slumping down; our frames still fitting together as if we were made for this. Made for each other.
Nothing had ever felt more, true than that thought.
I was made for her. She was made for me. There was nothing that would ever take me away from her and I just had to hope that she was willing to withstand the storm that was her dad barrelling towards us as we neared the point where we were going to have to tell him the truth.
There was no walking now. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. Dakota was mine.
Mine. Always.
Forever!
Later that Night…
Dakota Roth…
At my request, after dinner, Jeremy, my dad and Charleigh and myself settled into the theatre-room in the basement and watched a bunch of parody movies - mostly Leslie Neilson ones, since he was my favourite. It was the perfect last night for me.
I stretched out on the sofa with my feet resting in Jeremy's lap and sighed when he began to give me a foot rub under the cover that I draped over my legs while dad and Charleigh tried to be subtle in how close they were sitting to one another. I would have liked the luxury of time so that my dad would tell me about him and my best friend but as it stood - tonight was my last night here with my family. That thought kicked up a maelstrom of emotions that I truly had no idea of how to process.
Two days ago, Charleigh had a run in with my mother and while she hadn't admitted it, I knew that it had knocked her a little. Anna seemed to just have that effect on people around her. The woman was simply batshit crazy at this point. Now don't get me wrong, that is not a term I would ever use on other mental-health patients, but my mother was a fucking law unto herself that there really was no other way to describe her.
Charleigh wanted to know what I planned on doing in regard to my mother's demands but without going into detail about my plans, I told my friend that I had it covered. I hated with-holding this information from her. Charleigh is my best friend. Ever since I gave her a glimpse into the life I was living, I had never withheld anything from her, but I knew that if she were to hear my plan now - she wouldn't only try to talk me out of it, but she would run to either my dad or Jeremy, or both and tell them what was going on.
Now my plan was not one I had entered into lightly. Jeremy and I were still unsure of when we were going to tell my dad about our relationship and I was simply out of time. Leaving now was my only option. I would not be the cause of their friendship imploding when Jeremy wasn't ready. I wouldn't be the thing to break their friendship when we weren't ready to go public with what we shared. I knew that leaving would result in my mother telling my dad everything but hopefully with me being gone - my dad and the man I loved would be able to work through whatever issues came from that confession.
Am I making the right choice? I want to say that I'm not but how can I? There is simply too much at stake.
Is this my only choice? I want to say no it isn't my only choice, but it actually feels like it is. I feel like I have been backed into a corner and this was the only way out.
So, here I am - two-am sitting on my bed with Zeus curled up at my feet while I write my letters. One for each person in this house right now. Explaining my actions and decision to leave while begging them to understand and just let me go.
Charleigh's letter was easy enough because I knew that she would understand why I had made this decision. I mean, she was the one who had actually witnessed my home life before coming here to find my dad. And that girl has always had my back. Telling her to take care of the two men who meant everything to me was an easy ask because I knew that she would do it without hesitation. That is who she is. Telling her that I wish her and my dad a lifetime of happiness and love was an easy wish to express because I have honestly never seen either of them so happy than when they are together. Hopefully, one day I might be able to return and find them still happy together. Maybe even with a family of their own. A little brother or sister for me. Now that made me smile. All I want for my best friend is to be happy and treated the way she deserved to be treated and loved whole-heartedly.
Jeremy's letter was a little harder because it truly felt like there was so much unsaid between us. I had felt it this afternoon when we were making love in our hotel room. The way he looked at me as if the sun rose and set with me. The way his touch was reverent. The way his kisses were passionate and hungry. Ultimately it was time for me to be honest with him. So, with shaking hands I told him that I love him and that I will always love him. Forever. Just as I had promised to be his always and forever only a few short hours ago. I also begged him to understand why I was doing this and that no matter what, I would never regret the time we had spent together. I even indulged and explained the future I had stupidly hoped for between us. The kids. The house. The dog. The marriage. Hell, it had been an image of the perfect life. Something that I had never felt like I would ever have, not until him. I told him just how much he changed me. And how I will never forget him.
Now I am staring at the words I have written to my dad, and I never anticipated that this one would be so hard. There was so much we hadn't said to one another. So much that had been torn away from us at the hands of my mother and once again she was ripping us apart. Giving him my blessing in regard to Charleigh was one of the first things I wrote. Somehow, I knew that he needed to hear that more than anything else. Telling him about Jeremy and I was harder than anything I have ever done. However, I knew that it was important because my mother would not hesitate to make good on her promise to tell dad the truth, or at least her version of the truth and I wasn't having that. No fucking way.
Once I had placed all the letters in their respective envelopes, I piled them by the door to my room, for when I left. I quickly sent the few photos I had on my phone, that I wanted to take with me, to my new number. Then I cleared my phone of everything except for the texts from Stuart so that if they checked my phone, they would see that I wasn't lying. I stuffed a few pieces of clothing that I intended to take with me into a suitcase along with the shoes and boots that I would never go anywhere without. Scrubbing my kindle clean. I ensured that I signed out and deleted all email programmes.
My cab would be waiting for me at the end of the driveway as requested, so I sat down on the end of the bed and looked at Zeus who was watching me with curious eyes. This dog may very well be the most perceptive and compassionate animal I have ever met because he slowly lowered his head onto my lap and let out an almost silent whimper, "I know baby-boy. We only just met, and I am leaving but this is for the best. I can't go back. I won't go back to Scotland where my life would be literal Hell on earth. I am gonna miss you," I whispered as I scratched behind his ear before leaning down and placing a kiss on his head.
Getting up, I grabbed my bag, suitcase and the letters and gently shut the door, sealing Zeus inside so that he wouldn't alert the rest of the house to my movements. Padding silently into the kitchen, I placed the letters against the kettle where I knew that they would be seen first thing.
As I pulled my jacket on, I took one long last look around the room, my eyes landing on the photo that Dad had blown up of the four of us in pride of place above the mantel in the front room and a part of my heart shattered into a million pieces. Tears welled up in my eyes. And my legs threatened to give out at the realisation of all I was being forced to give up. Shaking like a leaf in an Autumn breeze, I forced myself to leave the house as silently as possible. Rushing as quickly as I could manage without making a sound down to the end of the long driveway and clambered into the back seat, gently closing the door behind me, again ever mindful of the noise.
"Airport?" The driver enquired.
"Please," I nodded as the tears fell down my face while my heart shattered into irreparable pieces.
I was leaving so much behind. Almost a whole part of my heart remained in that house. Leaving a gaping hole to appear in my soul. Something, somewhere deep inside me screamed not to do this. To tell the driver to turn around and take me back. But I knew that I couldn't. So instead, I bit down on my lower lip and watched the dark night whizzing by as the car made the journey to where I required.
Every single part of me wishes that maybe Jeremy would sense my absence and rush to stop me from leaving. Stupid. It was a pipe dream. I had ensured that I could make a silent, secret getaway because I knew without a doubt that this was not some rom-com that ended, with a, happily ever after.
I am not the girl who gets, a happy ever after.
I am the girl who gets my heart ripped out every single time I find a little bit of happiness thanks to my mother.
I will never forgive her for this. Never. As far as I am concerned - I don't even have a mother.