Jeremy Danielson…
Approaching Lauren was not something that I had relished doing. In fact, I would say that I loathed it. Just the thought of seeing her again had filled me with a feeling that I was somehow cheating on Dakota. Stupid as it sounds. And I know how stupid it really is because it wasn't like I was looking for anything to happen with Lauren.
Well, nothing aside from her help to get Jason out of the cell that he had been placed in.
And I knew that Dakota wouldn't have been worried about me seeing Lauren again, that is just who Dakota is; the trust she placed in me was not something that I ever intended on betraying. Regardless of whether she was here or not. I would remain faithful to her. I would remain loyal to the relationship that we had built even if it means being alone for the rest of my life.
My pain is so deeply embedded inside me right now that I simply have no idea of how to conquer it. I have no idea of how I am going to survive, because honestly, it has only been two days and already it feels like my soul has been shredded into a million little pieces.
No, it isn't over. It will never be over until she tells me to my face that we are done.
I would be lying if I said that I wasn't shocked by the fact that Lauren is pregnant. After all those months of her telling me that she didn't want to have kids, that she wasn't even sure if she even liked children. We have been divorced for just over a year now and she is already a good, few months pregnant. In a small way I feel like I have been cheated - I was the one who wanted to have a baby. I was the one who wanted to start our family. My wants and needs were ignored because my wife told me she didn't want a family. Now here we were - me; still childless, and now girlfriend-less, and there, was Lauren, settled with her man and was expecting their first baby in a few months. How is that fair?
Damn it 'Kota. Why the fuck did you have to run?
Why couldn't you just trust me?
So many questions kept running through my mind and I wanted nothing more than to get to my hotel room and look through the flight manifest so I could try and figure out just where she went. I was going to find her. Even if it took me to my dying breath, I would never stop.
"Look, I know that I didn't exactly handle the news very well yesterday, and I am not saying that I truly understand it now, but if my daughter can accept my relationship with her friend, then the very least I can do is try to accept her relationship with my friend," Jason finally spoke after sitting beside me for a good half hour after I explained the relationship that I had with Dakota.
"Thank you-"
"Hold on," he held his hand up, "I will try my best to accept it and I won't stand in your way but Rem' if you ever hurt her, make her feel less than she is, or be at all unsupportive then you and I will have a problem, am I clear?"
"I wouldn't expect it any other way, but just so you know - I would never hurt her, never degrade her or try to stifle her in anything that she wants to do, I love her-" I began to explain, "I know you probably don't want to hear this but there is no other woman on the planet who makes me feel the way 'Kota does, that means something to me, something that far outweighs everything else in my life-"
"Including me, apparently -"
"Sorry-"
"No don't be sorry, you said it all when you told me you wanted me in your life, but you needed Dakota, that is the type of love that I want for my little girl," he explained, "now, I may be willing to try and accept this, but I don't think that it is a good idea for you to stay-"
"I agree, a hundred percent," I nodded, finally getting to my feet, "in fact I am gonna get going, I need to arrange a hotel room-"
"Alright. Keep us posted if you hear from her,"
"You, too!"
"Of course," my friend nodded as he stood up too, "we will be ok, Rem',"
"Yeah, we will!"
By the time I leave my friend's property the sun has already begun to set and I am eager to find lodgings for the night. It would do us good to be apart for a little while - the revelation about me and his daughter was tough for him. I know that. I know that even though he said he is going to try and accept it, me being scarce is the only way for him to work through it all in his own time.
When I finally let myself into my hotel room at a different hotel to the one where I had booked the room for Dakota and me, I was feeling more than a little weary. Flipping the switch on the kettle in the small kitchenette of the room, I quickly fix myself a coffee to try and stave off the exhaustion that threatened to drag me under. I still had to go through the manifest and then find a private investigator that I could set on the case. And I would need to phone Gavin.
My mind however felt intent on drawing back to Jason.
After the way it had all come out yesterday, and then the way he reacted when he saw me; I had assumed that he would never come around. I had just gotten to grips with our friendship being over and then he comes home and tells me that he is willing to try and accept the fact that I am in love with his daughter, and she is in love with me. Did I fall asleep and slip into a dream?
Had I woken up in the twilight-zone?
Jason was a lot of things but his ability to accept he is wrong was not one of them. But then again, was his reaction really wrong? I had betrayed him. I had lied to him. Jesus I am lucky that he didn't chop my balls off and put them in a fucking blender before feeding them to me.
Was he suddenly willing to accept it because of the fact that the 'L' word had been used?
If neither Dakota nor I had admitted the depth of our feelings would Jason have completely disowned me?
It still feels more than a little weird to know that my woman loved me but I hadn't actually heard her voice say it. That seems like a tragedy. Like my heart and soul long to hear those words. I desperately crave the sound of her voice saying - 'I love you, Uncle Remy!'
Where is Dakota?
Is she safe?
Is she alone?
Has she found somewhere to stay?
Does she plan on staying gone forever? No. I will not accept that. I will find her, and I will drag her home if I have to.
Closing my eyes - I easily conjure the image of her - long vibrant, bright blonde hair that I swear I can still feel the satin smooth texture of between my fingers. The sparkle of sky-blue eyes that flashed with love and adoration - why the fuck hadn't I noticed that she was in love with me? The evidence was right there in those beautiful eyes every time she looked at me. The high definition of her cheek-bones, that I swear she got from Jason, gave her an older look than her twenty years. The soft mauve cushion of her lips that could inflict such mind-numbing pleasure when she set her mind to it, or could bite out blood-freezing dread when she was angry. I loved that about her - that she wasn't afraid to stand up for herself. It was a turn-on in a way that it has never been with anyone before her. I guess in a way, the reason that it was such a turn-on is because I know what her life had consisted of up to this point. With a body that was designed for sin - she was hands down the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I could spend days indulging in her curves and live a lifetime of feasting on her sweet, juicy pussy. God I am working myself up to the point where all I am going to be left with is frustration.
Pouring the hot water over the coffee beans, I moved to the table that was situated right by the floor to ceiling windows - gazing out over the small town where I have spent my entire life. The twinkle of the lights from the houses and businesses were like little jewels on a sea of velvet black.
Easing the manifest out of my back pocket and pressed it out on the table, smoothing out the creases that had accumulated from being in my pocket all night.
Staring at the time-table and I was almost at the very end of the list, my hope dwindled when I couldn't imagine her going to any of the destinations that were listed when my eyes caught the last words on the paper, and I just knew. Silently sending a thank you to the universe for the fact that we had decided to talk to one another in the interest of getting to know one another better before telling Jason about our relationship. I knew without a shadow of a doubt where she had gone
Rome. Italy.
Jason Adler…
Forgiving my best friend had felt more right than I had been prepared for it to feel. The truth is - Jeremy is a good man, sure he may have lost his way a little bit after his divorce but that was to be expected, especially when he felt like he had been fucked over. Lauren hadn't exactly been a saint and I couldn't imagine how it must have felt for my best friend to see his ex-wife expecting the one thing that he has desperately wanted.
I do feel bad for sending him away, but I know it was the right thing to do - we both needed space and time to come to terms with everything that happened over the past 24/48 hours.
I needed time to fully wrap my head around everything and I don't think that I would be able to focus on anything other than him and my daughter together if he were here.
If I am being honest - it will also feel good to have some alone time with Charleigh. Ever since we got together, we have had both Jeremy and 'Kota around and while I desperately want my daughter back, I now understood why she ran. My little girl had been in an impossible situation and that she had done what she thought was right, no matter how wrong she was, I had the faith that I needed that we would find her. We had to.
In a way I am kind of glad that she hadn't been here to witness my reaction to her and Jeremy. I fear that I may have said something that would have ended up driving her away and now that I have a clearer head I can't imagine what it would have felt like to see her look at me in disappointment.
"You are awfully tense, baby," Charleigh offered as she kneaded at my shoulders gently and I couldn't have stopped the groan if I had tried.
"Yeah, it's been -" my voice trailed off as she carefully massaged a particularly hard knot at the base of my skull, "fuck that feels good!"
"Let me take care of you!" She leant into my ear and whispered, sending the most delicious shiver down my spine.
I would let this woman do whatever she wanted to me. I would willingly submit to her because there is no other woman on the planet that I want to have at my side. Always. Forever.
Have I ever been in love before? I honestly don't believe that I have because what I feel for this woman is so new, so foreign that for the first time in my life I don't actually know what I am doing but the most amazing thing is that it feels like she is right there with me. Feeling the same way that I do. We were submitting to one another and that was the most addictive feeling I have ever experienced.
Reaching down she slowly tugged my shirt upwards until I was raising my arms and she removed the material and dropped it on the sofa next to me before bringing her gifted little hands back to my shoulders and neck; slipping in behind me so that she was straddling my body from behind. My hands softly rested on her thighs, my fingers drawing light circles against the soft, sensitive flesh. I could feel the shiver eclipse her from my touch and it filled me with a sense of power and calm to know I could affect her so deeply. The same way she affected me.
The warm blast of her breath caressed the flesh of my shoulders as she continued to massage me, slowly sinking her hands down my back, kneading the knots and kinks out of me as she went.
Captivated. That is the best way I can describe what I feel for Charleigh. Bound by the emotions that she stirs within me. Lost to the connection we shared. I never want this feeling to end. I ache for her. I crave her in ways that I imagine a junkie craves their next hit.
Is it pretty? No, not even a little bit.
Is it consuming? Yes, far more than I have ever felt before.
My world consists of two things - my daughter and getting her back, and Charleigh and building this future I can almost see vividly in my mind's eye.
Before I am even aware of it, Charleigh slips out from behind me, turning around so that she is now straddling the front of my body. My hands grip her defined hips, rocking her leisurely against me as she tugs her own shirt up and over her head, dropping it next to my shirt. And my eyes feed hungrily on her delectable flesh.
God, she is perfect.
She is my everything.
"I love you, Char',"
"I love you too, Jay!" She moaned as my hard cock hit that sweet spot and she rocked a little harder against me until I was groaning and thrusting my hips harder still.
"Marry me?" The words fly from my mouth before I even have time to process them.
Everything between us stops - suddenly it feels as if we are suspended in a moment so perfect that I know without a doubt this is exactly what I want. I want to marry this woman.
I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
I want to build a life with her.
I want to have more kids, with her.
I want her forever. Until the day I take my last breath.
"Wh-what did you-just-say?" She asked, her eyes holding mine captive, as if she were trying to find a hint of uncertainty in me but I knew that she wouldn't find any. I know that this is what I want. More than anything else.
"I know this is quick. I know that people will think we are crazy, and I know that those same people will have an issue with the age gap between us but I don't give a fuck what other people think. I just know that I can't go back to my life without you and I know that the time for you to leave is fast approaching, yes it is quick but I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life loving you and showing you just how much I need you to survive. I can't live without Charleigh. I love you so damn fucking much that I feel like I am in a damn tail-spin, so please, marry me?!" I expressed passionately, "I don't have a ring but that can be easily remedied-"
"Yes!" Her reply was almost incoherent, but I heard it as if she screamed it from the depths of her lungs.
"Yes?"
"Yes!" She expressed a little louder this time.
"We're getting married!" I growled, reaching my hands up to her beautiful face.
"We're getting married!" She agreed as I framed all of her natural beauty between my hands and my lips crashed down hard against hers.
I am getting married.
I am in love with this amazing, smart, kind, funny, and genuine woman. And now I get to spend the rest of my life showing her just how much she means to me. I get to spend the rest of my life loving her and holding her tight to me. There is nothing I could want more, in this moment, except for my daughter to be here to share in my happiness.
We had to find her. We had to get her back here where she belonged because there is no way I can get married without her at my side.