Mizuki, Chūnin instructor of Konoha's Shinobi Academy, hid in the attic of an elderly merchant's house as he scoped out the Hokage Tower.
Perfect, he thought as he watched the three Genin of Team 7 leave after their debriefing and go their separate ways. Now that the demon brat is back in town, I can move forward with my plans.
He vanished into the shadows as he followed Naruto back to his apartment.
– CS –
Sasuke went back to the extensive Uchiha clan training grounds and started practicing his fire jutsu and shurikenjutsu. He couldn't be bothered to think about anyone other than himself.
– CS –
"Sakura, Sakura!" Ino shout-whispered, grabbing Sakura's arm as Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto left the Hokage tower. Ino shot Sasuke a half-shifty, half-flirty look that should have been impossible. "Sakura, we need to talk!"
Sakura complied, and the two of them went off to a restaurant to talk and eat. Which was rare, nowadays, for the somewhat-former friends/rivals.
"So," demanded Ino, "Is it true?"
"Is what true?" Sakura asked, pretending she didn't know.
"Is Sasuke… you know?"
Sakura looked conflicted.
"Wait a minute… Sakura?"
The pinkette looked guilty.
"… YOU started the rumor that Sasuke is gay?"
Sakura broke. She giggled, "And having hot hot yaoi makeout sessions with Kakashi-sensei? I didn't come up with the Kakashi pairing, but the gay part..."
"You know I'm not into that stuff," snapped Ino. She wasn't a yaoi fan-girl, just a Sasuke fan-girl. She had heard the rumor second-hand. "Why?"
"Well… it's a long story."
"Spill," commanded Ino.
"You see, we were on our first C-rank mission, and there was this enemy nin…" Sakura told Ino all about Haku and Haku's infuriating androgyny. "And then Sasuke said, 'Would that be so bad?' So it was kind of, he didn't really say he liked boys, but he kind of hinted it. And I got thinking, and it's yaoi, and just… you know."
"So you don't actually know? Darn, I really hope he's not gay."
Sakura sighed. "Yeah, I guess." Then she brightened, "Sasuke didn't seem to like it when that yaoi fan-boy kissed him. He was all like, ugh." and she made an exaggerated grimace to show Sasuke's reaction.
"So… he's not? Thank Kami. Not that I'm against gay people, but you know, it's Sasuke dear…" and Ino sighed.
Sakura frowned. "Yeah… it's just, I guess I got jealous, and Sasuke and Naruto were talking about Haku like that, and I just had to get them back."
Ino and Sakura spent a few minutes just eating their low-calorie meals before Sakura came up with another topic.
"Ino," she started, "has Naruto always been so… mysterious?" She wiggled her fingers to emphasize the last word.
"Mysterious?" echoed Ino. "You mean Sasuke, he's the mysterious type."
"No, I mean Naruto. Did you see what he was wearing earlier?"
Ino considered. "Wait, that hunky boy next to Sasuke was NARUTO?"
"Hunky?" Sakura looked like the cat that caught the canary. "Naruto, hunky? Does this mean you're giving up on Sasuke?"
"Cut it out, you know what I mean. He was wearing… not orange."
"Yeah! Exactly. He was wearing… not orange. And he doesn't tell us anything about himself, and when we fought Zabuza he knew a clone jutsu that we weren't taught in the Academy, and even though Zabuza couldn't have been very strong Naruto knocked him out so quickly! And Naruto was so serious for the first half of the mission, I mean, he's still goofy and stupid but it's like he can turn it off sometimes! And when Kakashi-sensei was teaching us tree-climbing, Naruto already knew it but Sasuke didn't! I can't believe Naruto knew something Sasuke didn't."
"That's impossible, Sasuke knows everything. Wait, tree-climbing? But everyone knows how to climb trees, Forehead."
"...Your sensei doesn't teach you anything either, does he?"
Ino shook her head and huffed.
"It's a chakra control exercise," explained Sakura. "You walk up a tree on just your feet, using your chakra to stick to the tree. And I meant what I said – after Kakashi-sensei showed us the tree-climbing, Naruto freaking moonwalked up the tree like some horribly flashy 80's pop star! I tried that after I learned regular tree-walking, it's a LOT more difficult to do it moonwalking! You have to concentrate chakra into the toe of the foot that's not moving while completely cutting off the chakra to the foot that's sliding backwards, know what I mean?"
Ino looked like she was barely managing to follow along, but nodded anyway.
"And then," continued Sakura, "NARUTO was the one who came up with the plan to get rid of Gato. That little boy Inari was all gloomy and 'you're all gonna die, Gato's gonna kill you', but Naruto tells everyone that he spent the entire day spying on Gato and Zabuza and he says, 'Real ninja don't fight, real ninja just win,' and then Naruto tells Kakashi-sensei this whole plan that actually sounded clever! At first I thought he was just trying to upstage Sasuke, but Kakashi-sensei went with it and it actually worked!"
"So what are you saying, that Naruto's been hiding stuff from us?"
"Yes! Naruto's been hiding stuff from EVERYONE! It's like I don't even know who he is anymore."
Ino chewed her food for a minute. "You know what this means, right?"
"Umm…?"
"WE MUST INVESTIGATE!" declared Ino, dramatically stabbing her salad fork in the air. "We'll get down to the bottom of this! We'll stalk his friends, we'll shadow him from the shadows, we'll figure out what he reads (if he reads anything at all), we'll find out who he likes and who likes him, we'll learn where he eats and what he eats, if he's mysterious, we'll de-mystify him!" Ino got that crazed Yamanaka rumor-hunting look on her face, struck a pose, and shouted, "INFORMATION WANTS TO BE FREE!"
Sakura shook her head. Then she smiled, jumped up, and grabbed Ino in a hug. "It's good to have you back, Ino."
Ino nodded, and hugged Sakura back. "It's good have you back too, Sakura."
Then Ino broke the hug and said, "Sasuke's still mine though."
"No way, Ino-pig! Sasuke's all mine!"
Just then, an orange blur ran past the front of the restaurant.
"RAMEN! I'VE MISSED YOU, DATTEBAYO!"
Ino and Sakura looked at each other and laughed.
"Boys," they said in unison.
– CS –
Hiruzen Sarutobi had long been one of the sharpest minds in the village, and this fact did not dull in his old age. After dismissing the three Genin of Team 7, he asked their Jōnin sensei to stay.
Kakashi straightened up, his clothing falling into place and the rip in his mask suddenly vanishing. The cornrows stayed, though.
"So, Kakashi… what's this I hear about you letting Naruto fight an A-ranked missing nin by himself?"
Kakashi was sweating. "It wasn't… I didn't. I told the team to protect the client. I challenged Zabuza, we both released our killing intent, you know how it goes. Then one of the kids, I'm not sure if it was Naruto or Sasuke, used a powerful wind jutsu to clear Zabuza's mist. And Naruto just… it reminded me of watching Minato-sensei fight, you blink and it's over! Except Naruto didn't even move."
"From Naruto's description of the fight," said Hiruzen, "he used Shadow Clones. He said he had one of them Kawarimi with Zabuza's sword?"
"Yes, a very creative use of Kawarimi. He created three shadow clones and two of them destroyed Zabuza's water clones. I didn't even see how they did it. The third used the Kawarimi with Zabuza's sword and slapped a paralysis and chakra disruption tag on the back of Zabuza's neck, Naruto activated it, and that was it."
"Hmm… how long did it take him to learn the Shadow Clone Jutsu? I assume you taught him?"
Kakashi looked confused. "No, I didn't teach him. I thought you had taught him. Maybe he watched one of the other Jōnin perform the technique?"
Apparently the "ignore me" Genjutsu on that book was very good.
"Possibly," said Hiruzen. "There are a number of Jōnin who know the Shadow Clone jutsu. And he could have gotten the sealing tag at one of the more specialized stores. Has he exhibited any other unusual behavior?"
"Well… he seems to know a lot about what's going on in Kiri. He told Zabuza's apprentice the rebel leader's name. Mei Terumi?"
Once again, Hiruzen was surprised. "That's not public knowledge. Jiraya's spies reported her name years ago, but we never told anyone, not even the Shinobi Council. And as far as I know, Jiraya hasn't been in contact with Naruto."
"I suppose he could have overheard it from that Whirlwind employee he mentioned at the start of the mission."
"Hmm… Whirlwind Postal. New company, showed up around a year and a half ago. They have an office in mid-town. They specialize in high-speed long-distance deliveries of letters and small packages. 'We deliver anywhere, to anybody, speedy, safe and confidential', that's their motto."
"Doesn't that cut into our ninja missions escorting scrolls and the like?" asked Kakashi.
"I thought the same, but there's nothing I could do about it. They're a civilian business and not a direct threat to our security. And it turns out the business from C-ranked escort missions has actually doubled in terms of profits since Whirlwind started up. We lost a lot of scroll delivery missions, but we actually gained a large number of personal escort missions, which as you know, pay more than scroll deliveries. It seems that better long-distance communication causes people to travel more."
"Hmm, interesting. Well I suppose if they really deliver to anywhere in the Elemental Countries, they would have to know the general state of places like Kiri. Is Terumi's name general knowledge in Kiri?"
"Yes, it is," said Hiruzen. "The Mizukage posted a rather large bounty on her."
"I suppose that explains Naruto's knowledge. Have you considered sending someone undercover as an employee of Whirlwind? It sounds like it would be useful to learn what information they have on other countries, even if only to learn how much they know."
"That's a good idea, thanks for the suggestion. Now, back to Naruto. How strong is he? He managed to take out a Jōnin level missing-nin using a single high-level Ninjutsu and a couple of tricks. How are his other skills coming along? Taijutsu? Shuriken and kunai throwing? Stealth? Chakra control? Any progress on Genjutsu?"
"Uh..." Kakashi rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, "His chakra control seems to be good. He already knew the tree-climbing exercise when I taught it to the others."
"Hmm… where did he learn that?"
"He said he read it in a book."
Hiruzen raised an eyebrow again. "Naruto? Read a book?"
"That's what he said."
"Okay, what about Taijutsu and the other skills?"
"… I don't know."
"Kakashi..."
"I've been focusing on their teamwork!"
– CS –
I've been acting too serious, thought Naruto as he dashed toward Ichiraku's, now wearing his orange jumpsuit again. Kakashi is getting suspicious about my skills, and I certainly don't want to trust him with my secrets. He hasn't even TRIED to teach us a single thing other than tree-climbing. EVERY ninja knows tree-climbing, I've seen them using it since I first learned to spot the ninja dashing around Konoha on the rooftops. I mean, he's not the only Jōnin-sensei to slack off on training his students, but he takes it to an extreme. Not exactly behavior conducive to team loyalty.
It's a good thing I managed to get to the Hokage and give Gramps a toned-down description of the mission and the confrontation with Zabuza. He might have gotten more curious if he only got Kakashi's shorthand report. I might like Grandpa Hokage, but there's no way I'm telling him all my secrets. He hasn't even admitted that he knew my parents, and he hasn't even hinted at the Kyuubi. For the Hokage, Konoha comes first, and most of Konoha REALLY doesn't like me.
Of course, my tail is certainly not good enough to be an ANBU ordered by Gramps to follow me. Whoever it is kind of sucks at stealth. I wonder who it is? That chakra signature feels familiar, low Chūnin level… good thing I'm already playing the "village idiot" act.
Plastering a bright smile on his face, Naruto bounced toward his favorite ramen stand, shouting, "RAMEN! I'VE MISSED YOU, DATTEBAYO!"
– CS –
Ugh, though Mizuki, I don't know how some people don't see it. The fact that the brat can eat that much ramen at once is proof that he's not human. Well, we'll see who's laughing at the end of today. Now let's see where you're going next, demon. I need you to be in town, but I can't pull off my plan while you're in public.
Mizuki dashed from one shadow to another as he followed Naruto to wherever he was going.
– CS –
After eating twenty bowls of ramen, Naruto went to his run-down apartment in the bad part of town, picked up a comic book, lounged on his ratty couch, and started reading it. Or rather, his shadow clone did.
Deep underground, Naruto walked into his training hall to start his physical training, when he noticed a couple of presences other than the hundreds of shadow clones practicing chakra control and Ninjutsu.
"Shino! Shikamaru! It's been weeks since you've been down here! How's it been going?"
Shikamaru stopped bending his shadow and yawned. "Troublesome. Heard you got back from your first C-rank. We're still on D-ranks."
Shino stated, "We thought once we got on Genin teams our Jōnin-sensei's would start training us more seriously than we did in the academy. Logical, right? But it seems that's not the case. Shikamaru's sensei is lazy enough to be a Nara, and Kurenai-sensei just has us sparring with each other a couple times a day."
"Yeah," agreed Naruto. "Kakashi-sensei taught Sasuke and Sakura the tree-climbing exercise. And that was it. He never did any other training or teaching. But there ARE Jōnin sensei's who do train their students. You've seen Might Guy, right?"
Both of Naruto's friends shivered. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone more troublesome," said Shikamaru.
"Have to agree with you there," said Naruto. "But the point is, he trains his Genin all the time. They spend more time training than on missions."
"I suppose we'll have to just do our own training, like we always have," concluded Shino.
"Yeah," agreed Naruto. He thought back to the day Shino and Shikamaru had become his friends...
– CS –
Naruto had just turned nine. It was mid-October, one month after he had discovered the Yondaime's book stashed in the library. He had done the math and decided that Minato Namikaze had to have been his father. He hadn't told anybody, but he had started training in secret.
Over the last month, Naruto's progress was simultaneously frustrating and astounding. Frustrating, because, as his father suggested, Naruto wanted to build an underground training ground, but he didn't know any earth jutsu for digging. There weren't any earth jutsu listed in the book, and there weren't any elemental jutsu at all in the Academy library (elemental chakra transformation was considered a Chūnin-level skill). On the other hand, objectively, Naruto's progress was amazing because he had gone through the chakra control exercises from leaf sticking to tree walking to water walking in the space of one month, and he had learned two of the three Academy Ninjutsu, Henge and Kawarimi.
Currently, Naruto was under a very generic-looking Henge, running sprints on top of a pond from one end to another, with several leaves sticking to his forehead and arms. He was trying to increase his control to the level where he could perform the Academy Bunshin, an illusionary clone which required a very small amount of chakra. Beads of sweat ran down his neck as he concentrated on outputting the right amount of chakra to each of the leaves at the same time as outputting a varying amount from his feet in order to stay atop the water.
That was when two boys from Naruto's Academy class walked up to the pond.
"Hey Naruto," said Shikamaru Nara, a skinny boy with a pineapple-style ponytail, waving his hand at the boy running on the water.
Naruto lost his concentration and fell in the water, producing a big splash. Spluttering, he swam to the edge of the pond and climbed out.
"Hi. Who are you two?" asked Naruto, still under the Henge.
"We know it's you, Naruto," said Shino Aburame, a quiet short-haired brunette wearing a high-collared jacket and sunglasses in the style of his clan. "Why? Because I tracked you with one of my kikaichu (the Aburame clan's parasitic ninja beetles)."
"Uh, okay, you got me, it's me." Naruto dropped the Henge.
"So… question," drawled Shikamaru. "What is the class idiot doing practicing high-level chakra control exercises, and mastering Ninjutsu we won't learn in the Academy until next year?"
Naruto sighed. "Can you guys keep a secret?"
Both of them nodded.
"Okay, basically I'm hiding my skills so that people won't know what to expect from me when I become a ninja. My goal is to become a real ninja, someone who works in stealth and in secret, who uses deception as his greatest weapon. That's why I'm acting stupid and getting the lowest scores. Well, that and sometimes I'm just too tired after training and I fall asleep in class. Can you keep this a secret?"
"Troublesome. Yes," said Shikamaru.
"That makes sense. Of course I can keep it a secret," said Shino.
"Good. So, question," said Naruto. "What is the smartest guy in class doing getting the second-lowest grades?"
Shikamaru groaned. "Troublesome. Class grades don't mean anything in the real world. Why make the effort?"
"Wanna train together?"
– CS –
It turned out that Shino and Shikamaru weren't interested in doing anywhere near the same amount of training as Naruto. It helped that both of them were extremely non-competitive. Still, they trained with Naruto a couple of times a week. Naruto was rather annoyed to find that both of them learned the chakra control exercises faster than he did, though neither had anywhere near as much stamina as he did.
"We need a secret underground base where we can train in secret," said Naruto a month later, having finally mastered the Bunshin and wanting to move on to the more interesting things his father came up with.
"Isn't that kind of overkill?" asked Shikamaru.
"Huh? Overkill? What's that?" asked Naruto, quite seriously.
"Overkill:" defined Shikamaru, "spending too much effort on something that isn't worth it."
"Oh. Then no, it's not overkill. I wanna try some training methods that I really don't want anyone seeing. The problem is, we need some earth-style jutsu in order to make an underground training room."
"I'll check my family's library to see if we have any earth-style scrolls," said Shino.
"Likewise," sighed Shikamaru.
"I gotta start pranking higher-level ninja," said Naruto. "Establish a cover before I start sneaking into places like the Chūnin-only library, just in case I get caught."
– CS –
One day, in a hollowed-out training hall deep beneath Konoha, two ROOT drones wearing white animal masks were sparring. Suddenly, pebbles started falling from the sandstone ceiling, and the two of them jumped back, falling into a defensive stance.
The ceiling cracked open and a blond nine-year-old boy fell on his butt.
He blinked, and looked around.
"Hi!" he said cheerily. "I was digging!"
He smiled a broad smile at them, stood up and dusted off his pants, and made a few hand signs.
"See ya later, underground-creature-people!" he chirped, and dove into the ground. The holes in the ceiling and floor closed up, leaving no trace that anything had ever happened.
The two ROOT drones blinked and looked at each other.
"Did that just happen?" asked one in a tone of voice that went against ROOT regulations.
"I think so," said the other. "He was… funny."
Then the anti-emotion seals that all ROOT ninja had tattooed on their skulls kicked in, and both of them forgot it ever happened.
Note to self, thought Naruto as he dug horizontally after going down several meters. Figure out how to use Fuinjutsu to protect my base from random strangers using the Earth Release: Hiding Like a Mole Jutsu.
– CS –
And that was how it started.
"So," said Naruto, "now that we're all around 13 years old, we can start using light weights and resistance seals without having to worry about stunting our growth."
"I'll take resistance seals," said Shikamaru. "Like your dad wrote, speed is everything in a fight, and the seals are better for speed training."
Oh yeah, Naruto had shared most of the contents of his father's book with his two friends. They couldn't read it, thanks to the powerful Genjutsu seal, and some things were private, but Naruto could certainly copy sections of the book by hand.
"I'm afraid I'll have to stick with weights," said Shino. "My kikaichu will interfere with the resistance seals."
"Okay," said Naruto. "I'll be using seals as well. You guys up for a light Taijutsu spar to get used to them?"
"Taijutsu only. No chakra enhancement!" declared Shikamaru.
Pure Taijutsu was Naruto's weakest area. At a young age, it would have been unwise to attempt the heavy strength training necessary to match top Taijutsu and weapons users based on physical strength. Without enhancing his body with chakra, he was a fair match for his two best friends in a two-on-one Taijutsu match. He had, after all, done far more practice than they.
Of course, when Naruto compensated using large amounts of well-controlled chakra to enhance his body, it was no contest. And when he eventually multiplied his pure physical strength and speed through the new resistance seal training, there was no telling how far he could go.
– CS –
Naruto's clone, still lounging on his couch reading his comic book, felt his tail disappear. Hmm, wonder what he's up to? Well, he didn't find out anything about me.
Then Naruto-clone felt a couple of familiar chakra signatures approaching. Sakura and Ino. What are THEY doing in this part of town? Hmm, they're just outside my window, I think they're spying on me.
Naruto-clone hid his devilish smirk behind his comic book.
He discreetly took a deep breath, shifted his butt, and blew all that air out through his lips in a raspberry to simulate an enormous fart.
Then he grunted, "Aaaaaah… that's better."
Sakura and Ino gagged.
"Phew," said Naruto-clone, waving his comic book in front of his nose. "Guess I need to air out this place." He walked over to the window as if to open it. Before he was halfway there, his enhanced hearing heard the sound of Ino and Sakura fleeing.
When he reached the window, he looked out, and saw something that would have made his blood freeze in his veins, if he had any.
– CS –
Mizuki snuck into the Hokage tower, using a Henge to impersonate Naruto. He had figured out all the traps and security around his goal months ago, and then his plans had been ruined when that demon brat managed to pass the exam! It had taken him months to come up with an alternate plan.
No one saw him as he dodged between guards and painstakingly disabled or bypassed each trap before finally reaching the treasure. Oh, Orochimaru was going to be so pleased.
As Mizuki picked up the Forbidden Scroll of Seals and slung it on his back using a strap, he failed to notice something glowing on the shelf after he picked it up.
"Naruto! What are you doing?" Mizuki jumped back in surprise when the Hokage himself stepped in front of him.
Oh, right, I'm still wearing the face of the demon brat. "I, uh..."
"Hey! Who are you!" shouted a 9-year-old boy, running up. "Are you trying to steal that scroll? I'll stop you!"
"No, Konohamaru! Get back! That isn't Naruto!"
It was too late. Konohamaru pulled out a wooden kunai and charged at Mizuki, who planted a fist in the little boy's gut, whipped out a real kunai, and held it to Konohamaru's neck.
"Let me go, or your grandson dies," threatened Mizuki.
With a look of anger on his face, the Hokage backed off. Mizuki dashed out the window, still holding Konohamaru with the kunai at his neck. He raced through the streets of Konoha, still wearing Naruto's face.
– CS –
Naruto groaned. "That was brutal."
Shino groaned. His insects buzzed quietly.
Shikamaru yawned. "Naruto… what do you think… about getting some… clouds down here?"
All three of them were lying on their backs after their first training spar with weights/seals.
Shino groaned again. "Shika," said Shino, "Don't get him started on Fuinjutsu."
It was too late.
"Well..." started Naruto, "I suppose I could design a physical-light-reflecting Genjutsu seal that makes the roof blue like the sky and puts clouds up there… but then there's a problem with distance perception, the clouds will look too close… a mind-affecting Genjutsu to fix that would be annoying for anyone who can sense foreign chakra in their system… hmm… you know what would be ideal is if I could make the seal track the locations of everyone in the room and angle the photons at their eyes in just the right angles to make the clouds appear far away, but that would be like… more complex than the Eight Trigrams seal… 'course we don't have to worry about ridiculously powerful chakra levels here, so it's not nearly as dangerous as the Kyuubi's seal…"
"Naruto," interrupted Shino, "remind me again why you're our year's dead last?"
"… and then I'd have to figure out how to make random-shaped clouds, which is gonna be a rather interesting algorithm… or maybe I could just copy the look of the sky outside, which would require a camera somewhere linked to the sky Genjutsu… actually several cameras so we can get all angles of the sky… and probably a modified security seal to keep birds and bugs from landing on the cameras… but then what about the other weather, we don't want it to look like it's raining down here without actually getting wet… probably need to store recordings of nice, partially cloudy days… need a seal to recognize optimal weather patterns, probably have to use one of my new deep neural network seals for that… good thing I came up with that three-dimensional seal technique or I would literally have square miles of seals for every neural net..."
Shikamaru yawned loudly and pointedly.
"Right!" said Naruto jumping up energetically. "I'll get some shadow clones on it." He produced five shadow clones who immediately dashed off through a tunnel to another part of their underground complex.
Shino and Shikamaru decided to take a nap.
That was when Naruto received a memory from the shadow clone in his apartment.
– CS –
I'll just duck into the alleyway here next to the demon brat's apartment, seal my treasure into a storage scroll, drop my Henge, knock out the Hokage's grandson, and leave. Everyone will think it was the demon brat that stole the scroll. Even the Hokage himself will be hard-pressed to say otherwise, even if he felt my chakra signature.
This was Mizuki's plan. Unfortunately for him, he didn't count on one thing.
"HEY!" shouted Naruto, landing in the street in front of him. "I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT YOU'RE NOT ME!"
"And what are you gonna do about it? You're just a stupid Genin who shouldn't have even passed the Academy final. And in case you haven't noticed, I've got the Hokage's grandson here."
He held up Konohamaru, who looked just about scared out of his pants.
Naruto considered for a moment, extending his senses. Suddenly he realized who he was talking to.
"Interesting predicament. There's just one problem… Mizuki."
Mizuki gaped. "How did you…? Fine, you figured me out, but it's not gonna help you." He dropped the Henge and held Konohamaru tighter.
"You don't seem to understand your situation," said Naruto. "You see, that's not the Hokage's grandson."
The boy under Mizuki's arm was engulfed in white smoke. When it cleared, what Mizuki was holding was a life-sized, spiky-brown-haired, extremely creepy wooden puppet. The puppet's head creaked and jerked as it turned one-hundred-eighty degrees on its neck and stared into Mizuki's eyes with its painted face.
"Mizuki! Mizuki!" said the puppet in a tinny girl's voice, as if coming from a speaker.
"GAAAAAH!" shouted Mizuki, dropping the puppet and kicking it into the side of a building. The puppet vanished in another puff of smoke.
Naruto snickered. "And one more thing! Your stealth is terrible! You're even worse at stalking people than Hinata is!"
An "Eeep!" came out of an alleyway somewhere down the road.
"I'll kill you, Kyuubi brat!" shouted Mizuki. He pulled out another kunai and rushed Naruto.
"Hey Gramps!" called Naruto. "Any time now!"
The Hokage came down on Mizuki like a load of bricks. Two and a half seconds later, the traitor was a moaning heap of broken bones, and Hiruzen was holding the Scroll of Seals in one hand and his bo-staff in the other.
"Grandpa!" shouted Konohamaru, running out of Naruto's apartment building into his grandfather's arms.
– CS –
"Whoah," said Ino.
"See what I mean?!" whispered Sakura. "Mysterious!"
Both of them had turned around at Naruto's shout and had see the entire scene with Mizuki. As had dozens of other villagers.
"He just rescued that kid! And where did he get that creepy, creepy puppet-thing?!" exclaimed Ino.
"And was that Mizuki-sensei?" asked Sakura.
Ino nodded. "It was. And he calls the Hokage 'Gramps'! What does that mean?"
"He seems to be really close to the Hokage for some reason," explained Sakura, "It's not the first time I've seen Naruto call Lord Hokage 'Gramps' or 'Old Man'. At first I thought he was being disrespectful, but the Hokage just smiled at Naruto. But I don't know why!"
"Mysterious-er and mysterious-er!" said Ino. "You know what this means, right?"
"Mm-hm!" nodded Sakura. "More investigation!"
– CS –
While Ino and Sakura were acting like... well... twelve-year-olds, Hiruzen led Konohamaru and Naruto back to the Hokage tower, where he replaced the Scroll of Seals and reactivated security, then led them back to his office.
"Naruto, I owe you my thanks," said Hiruzen. "Konohamaru tells me you got him out of danger even before you jumped in front of Mizuki."
"Uhh… yeah, no problem!" Naruto rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.
"I take it you used the same method as you used on Zabuza? A shadow clone with a Kawarimi?"
Naruto nodded.
"Interesting touch with the Henge."
"Yeah!" said Konohamaru from where he sat in his grandfather's lap. "That puppet was creeeepy!"
"I do wonder why you didn't take on Mizuki yourself… the way you did with Zabuza."
"Oh..." Naruto's face fell. "I just didn't want all those people who were watching to see how dangerous the 'Kyuubi-brat' could be."
"I was gonna ask you about that!" said Konohamaru with all the sensitivity of an eight-year-old. "Why did Mizuki call you 'Kyuubi-brat'?"
"Naruto..."
"It's okay Gramps, I figured it out years ago," said Naruto, seriously. "The villagers have been calling me 'Kyuubi-brat' and 'demon-spawn' ever since I can remember. And you always avoided the question whenever I asked you who my parents were."
Hiruzen frowned, wondering if Naruto had figured out who his parents were.
"Konohamaru," continued Naruto, "did anyone ever tell you about the attack thirteen years ago, when the great Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, Kyuubi no Kitsune, attacked Konoha?"
"Uh-huh," nodded the little boy.
"Everyone knows that the Yondaime Hokage defeated the Kyuubi. And that's true, but it's not the whole truth."
"Uh-huh," said Konohamaru. "Get to the point already!"
"You see," explained Naruto, "the Kyuubi was my daddy."
…
…
Hiruzen choked.
Two ANBU lost concentration, fell from the ceiling, and hit the floor headfirst.
Konohamaru said, "Whoah. Really?"
"Mmm-hmm! Really!" Naruto nodded.
"I see!" said Konohamaru, having solved a great mystery. "That explains the whiskers!"
"Yeah, I guess it does! You're not scared?"
Konohamaru shook his head. "It's pretty badass, actually! Hey Naruto, can you teach me some jutsu?"
"Um... sure, I guess."
"Great! I'll call you 'Boss', like your smoky-clone did back in your house!" Konohamaru grinned.
Seeing the perfect shot, Naruto snapped a photo of Konohamaru grinning in his grandfather's lap while his grandfather was still frozen in horror.
"Hey Boss, why'd you take a picture?"
"I'll show you after I get it developed." He turned around and snapped another photo of the two ANBU, sprawled in an undignified manner on the floor.
…
Hiruzen finally unfroze.
"Naruto," he said, "I don't know how to put this, but your father was not the Kyuubi no Kitsune."
"Huh?" said Konohamaru. "You mean the Kyuubi was his mommy?"
"Ack! No! Neither of Naruto's parents was anything but human… and… you just pranked me, didn't you?"
Naruto's Cheshire grin said everything.
– CS –
How to be a Ninja
by Minato Namikaze
Chapter 5: A Little Bit of Everything
A good ninja is a well-rounded ninja. A good ninja knows a little bit of every possible ninja art, and is always willing to learn more. And most importantly, a good ninja knows several ways of countering every possible ninja art.
Therefore, in this chapter I have listed every major branch of the ninja arts that I know of along with my thoughts on them.
(Author's Note: so yeah, these are boring even to write and probably even more so to read, so I'll skip 'em.)
Section (a): Ninjutsu (Ninja Chakra Techniques)
Section (b): Genjutsu (Illusions)
Section (c): Taijutsu (Unarmed Martial Arts)
Section (d): Weaponry
Section (e): Poison
Section (f): Kekkei Genkai (Bloodline Limits)
Section (g): Chakra Sensing
Section (h): Puppetry
Section (i): Summoning Creatures
Section (j): Senjutsu (Sage Arts)
Section (k): Fuinjutsu (Written Seals)