I forced my eyes open and blinked a few times to regain my ability to see. The environment had an ambience to it that was difficult to explain. Soothing yet alarming at the same time. It offered you peace but left you feeling dizzy. I felt strange, disoriented. I shivered at the thought of where I possibly could be but I knew I wouldn't find my answers lying on the floor. Nevertheless, my present surrounding made me feel stuck. I could see my body but somehow it felt like it wasn't me. It felt like a part of me was missing and nothing I could do would ever bring it back. It felt like I was a leaf flowing through the wind. At that point,I didn't know if it was as the result of the breeze blowing the autumn leaves smoothly around the void environment I had found myself in but I felt wonderful.
I turned slightly to my left and my beautiful mother was staring at me with a smile on her face. I immediately knew that I was home and safe. I walked towards her and she engulfed me in a hug. I wanted to stay in her arms forever but she broke free from the hug, took my hand and started moving to a place I didn't know. Mom kept leading me to an unknown place and I followed her
When we finally reached our destination, I looked around and I was left in awe. The place was glorious. The melody blaring from the background made me feel like I was in Heaven. The realization that I might actually be made me terrified, I turned to my mother, with fear in my voice, I asked her "Mom,are we in Heaven?"
She looked at me for a second and then she bursted out in laughter. I suddenly realized how much I missed the sweetest that always sipped from her lips whenever she laughed. It reminded me of a time when everything was alright. A time when my father would lift me up and hug my mom while holding me and the sound of her laughter mixed with mine will be heard all around the house. A tear came to my eye and I quickly blinked it away.
She walked up to me, held my face in her hands and smiled as she spoke softly. "No,my darling. We are not in Heaven. Unfortunately,it wasn't your time to go there yet. But your time on this planet is over." The smile on my face quickly vanished and I took a step back, looked into her eyes and waited patiently for an explanation. When I noticed that one wasn't forthcoming, I forcefully asked.
"What do you mean "my time on this planet is over"? I do not understand." She drew me back into her arms and continued to smile as she said.
"Sweetheart,sit down. Let me tell you a story.
I wondered if my mother had gone blind because we were standing in the middle of a white room with no seats in sight. She must have noticed my confusion and distress because she raised her hand and pointed behind me and to my total surprise, the room that was once empty suddenly had a very comfortable looking sofa mounted right there.
I turned to her and with a puzzled look on my face,I stuttered "When...how?"
My mother smiled and pulled me towards the direction of the sofa. "Just sit darling.
She said it in such a calm way that I was propelled to sit. And the feeling I got from it was very satisfying. The sofa did not only look comfortable, but it also was. I sat down and waited for about 2 minutes and she still didn't say anything. She just looked at me with tears in her eyes and I could understand what she was going through. It was also difficult for me to be apart from her. I wish she didn't die. I wish we were still a happy family. But sometimes,we don't always get what we wished for.
I reached out my hands to her. She moved her teary eyes towards my hand stretched arm and she shook her head. When she did that a little tear came down,so she took her fingers and cleaned the tears away. She then looked at me and all emotions that were playing across her face before was gone. She looked unaffected and totally different from the person who was just about to cry. I looked at my hand that she still didn't take it and withdrew it immediately. I tried as much as I could to composed myself.
Maybe I missed my mother more than she missed me. It was the only explanation I could give as to why she will not agree to take my hands. I thought for a moment that maybe she remembered how I failed to keep the promise I made to her and she was pissed at me for that. Or maybe she blame me for her death as well. I couldn't bear the thought of her blaming me for killing her,so I dropped my head down and tried to fight the tears that were coming as I said.
"Mom,I am so sorry for what I did to you. I honestly forgot to tell you about what dad said. He came into my room that morning and told me that he may forget to tell you so I should be the one to tell you to make the lasagna. But I forgot. I didn't do it on purpose mom I swear. Please don't blame me for your death just like your husband does." I couldn't control the tears that flowed down my face like a rain. Mom came close to me and she held me tight.
"Oh my darling. I don't blame you for my death. Why would you ever think that?
"Well,you didn't take my hand and I thought that maybe that was why. Or is it because I failed to keep the promise I made to you? I'm sorry about that too. You know I get my temper from him."
"I don't blame you for anything. Look darling we have to talk about something very important. Forget about your father and what he did to you. It is not important. What is important is what lies ahead. Now,get up and sit." She left me and headed to her chair. I was hurt that she disregarded what dad did to me like that but I had no other choice than to sit and hear what she had to say.
"So,I am sitting on the magical chair now. What is so important that I had to die before you could tell it to me?" She didn't say anything for a few minutes and then when she finally spoke, I couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth
"Okay,so you are going to be sent back in time." The silence in the room was eerily cold. If a pin was dropped at that moment, the sound would have been heard. I tried as much as possible to make sense of what she was saying but nothing good came out of it.
"What?! Mom, to the best of my knowledge time machines do not exist. So what are you going on about?"
"Well we are dealing with powers the human brain cannot comprehend here. Listen baby,we don't have much time. You will have to be brave. You will be sent to a different time zone. There is a task you need to complete and you must complete it because the lives of so many people depends on it." Was she out of her mind? This is what was so important for her to talk to me about that she had to not listen to me rant about my father?!
"Mom,what are you even saying? I don't understand and frankly,you are scaring me." She gave me no space to ask questions, no time to ponder on it. She gave me nothing at all.
"Amelia,you are a fighter. And it's okay to be scared but it is not okay to back down. Now stand up,we need to go." I officially became scared and like always, I knew I had to stand up for myself.
"Go where? Mom,I am not going anywhere with you." I sighed and tried to explain the situation that we were in to her because I was sure that she did not understand it. "Mom,I just died and now I'm with you and you don't even care to ask me how I am?! Do you not understand how painful the last few weeks have been for me?! Dad almost raped me,for crying out loud! And now you are telling me how I am going to be sent to another time zone?! And you expect me to be fine with that?!!" How did my mother turn into this heartless person? She was never like this before. She always cared about my feelings but now it's like she could not care less if I was hurting or not. What happened to her? When she died,did her emotions die with her?
"Okay, Amelia calm down." She tried to come close to me and hold me but I scrambled away from her touch and continued to pour out my feelings.
"Don't tell me to calm down! All thanks to you and the bastard you married, my life is a fucking mess! How am I supposed to save other people if I can't even save myself?"
She walked briskly to me and held my shoulders. "But you did save yourself. He didn't rape you." Did she just use that as a silver lining? I could not believe this woman. I was very much sure that this was not my mother at this point.
"Yeah,but I died in the process of escaping. Mom I can't do this. Please don't make me." A part of me knew that screaming will not get me out of the problem, so I restored to begging.
"Yes you can baby. You are intelligent and very brave. And I believe that you can do this." But that didn't work either.
She then took my hand and dragged me with her,while turning a deaf ear to my pleads. I was vividly remained of how my father refused to hear my pled while he was beating me. She took me to a door and left me there.
"I am so sorry. But you have to do it. I will always be with you. And I love you so much, always remember that."
She then opened and door and shoved me through it. I could feel myself falling and this time,dying did hurt. Because it was my own mother that killed me.
I kept falling. With every distance covered, I could hear my heart breaking, could feel the tears on my face. The realization that neither my father nor my mother wanted me left a sting in my heart. I desperately wanted to scream, but when I opened my mouth, no words would come out. As I fell, I felt my feelings leaving me till all I was left with was an emptiness that threatened to drown me.
But then, the feeling of emptiness is something I have become familiar with. I felt like a leaf swirling around in the air.
The next thing I felt was also a familiar feeling. Pain. I could feel it flowing through my entire body. I tried moving but I couldn't. It was like I was stuck and I couldn't even breathe.
Three thoughts were running through my mind.
How could she do this to me?
She didn't even tell me why this was happening. What was I to do there?
What the fuck is going on?!!
Next thing I knew, I felt a thud and I lost consciousness. I awoke in a body that didn't feel like mine. I couldn't explain how I knew but I just knew that it wasn't my body I woke up in. I opened my eyes to see a look of shock on a woman that was dressed as a nurse.
She stared at me for a few minutes. "Oh my God, she is alive." She left running and screaming "Doctor,she is alive!"
I looked at the door the nurse used to leave and it finally hit me. The body I was reincarnated was dead few minutes ago. That was the only thing that made sense. Still, I had to be sure. I removed the IV that was plugged into my veins and I rushed to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and I saw the face of a totally different girl that I have never seen before. I was slowly losing my mind. I moved my hand to my face and when I touched it,it felt so real. I could not believe it. She actually sent me back in time into the body of another person. But why? Why would this be done to me? Why did I have to go through this trauma? A part of me told me that I must be dreaming so I pinched myself to be sure that I was not. After having inflicted that pain on myself,I opened my eyes to notice that I was still in the same body and nothing had changed. So I did the next best thing,I screamed.
I must have been very loud because a man came running into the bathroom. He opened the door and asked. "Are you okay?"
I was not okay. I was freaking out. I was losing my mind. I needed to talk to my mom. I had to tell her to stop this prank that she was pulling on me cause it was no longer funny. But I could not do any of that. So I did what I believed was best at that time and that was to not make him suspect that the girl who owned this body is not the same girl occupying it now,I answered "I guess am okay." He led me back to the bed and when I had laid back down,he took my vitals and he looked totally flustered. "This is impossible."
Just then,a man and a woman came running in and they stopped dead in their tracks when they saw that my eyes was open.
They stopped dead in their tracks and could only stare at me. When they finally spoke, I could hear the surprise in their voice. "Becky,is that you?"
"So her name is Becky" I thought to myself.
I didn't have the chance to answer because the doctor told them to leave the room and allow him run some tests.
The woman moved closer to me and the doctor stopped her.
"Ma, please you need to give her some breathing space. I need to examine if she is totally okay to be around people" the doctor said.
"Why are you making it sound like my daughter is mental? She is right there looking at me. She is fine, just let me hold her." She tried moving towards me again but she was once again stopped by the doctor. The doctor finally turned to the man and kindly asked him to take the woman outside.
They left reluctantly and the doctor starting running some physical tests on me.
First he opened my eyes and pointed a torch at me. Then he took my vitals again. Then he went towards my feet and rubbed a pen on my toe and it curled inside.
I just sat there watching as he moved around and continued taking tests.
When he felt like it was okay,he finally sighed and said "Well,this is obviously a miracle young lady because medically,I cannot explain how you are still alive."
"Doctor,if I may ask? What happened?"
He looked at me like I had gone nuts
"You don't remember?" I could see my plan of trying to act normal failing but I honestly couldn't remember anything.
"No,not really."
"What exactly do you remember?" Answering that question would definitely blow my cover so I just stood still and looked at him
"Becky,what's your full name?"
Of course I didn't answer that question because I didn't know this girl's full name. I didn't even know anything about this body I was inhabiting.
"Oh I see. I will call on some nurse to take care of you for now." He took one last look at me left.
Outside I could here him telling "my parents".
"She is fine. Her vitals are very normal and she is 100% alive but I have some bad news" and then there was a pause.
"She has lost her memory."
Well better for them to think that I lost my memory than for them to think that I'm bat shit crazy when I tell them about the reincarnation. I looked at the faces of Becky's parents and I was felt sad that they didn't even know that they had really lost their daughter. Now because of my mother,I had to pretend to be someone that up till 5 minutes ago,I never knew existed.
Could my life get any worse?