The demented house I lived in before Dad killed me was the same house I was looking at. But at the same time, it wasn't the same house. The house felt different. Maybe it was because of the family that lived in it. They loved each other and the house must have eluded the same love that they gave. I did not feel completely restless or pissed at being there. I actually felt at peace, it felt like home and I just wanted to turn around and ask Rebecca's mom how she did it. How did she make a place feel like home to a complete stranger? My mother was great and warm at heart but she never knew how to make the house that I lived in feel like home.
The house had an elegance to it. A fashionable look and a welcoming air surrounded it. It was almost like it was calling out to me. The fear I felt in the car about surviving in there totally went with the wind and all I wanted was to experience what it will feel like to be inside the house. I had goosebumps.
Before we got into the house, I took some time to appreciate its outward appearance. Like all the other houses on the street, it had a white chimney. Surprisingly, the chimney had smoke coming out of it. It made me wonder who was at the fireplace during this hot afternoon, but the thought of that didn't scare me as the thought of who would be inside the house seeing as everyone was outside with me. I have seen a lot of scary and unexplainable things in the past few months, and all of them left me feeling confused. I did not want to add this to the list of the things I had to explain.
Looking around, I could see that the house had a lovely greenhouse attached to it. I could also see lots of beautiful flowers growing in it. I immediately knew that this was one of the things that made me feel relaxed here. Mom never had a greenhouse. She never grew flowers and I was a lover of them. I just knew that I would spend most of my time in the greenhouse. The steps leading to the house were lined with flowers of different species. It gave the house a lovely smell and I fell in love deeper and deeper.
The rocking chair that was on the veranda was filled with fluffy pillows and to the other side of the veranda was a table surrounded by chairs. The general appearance of the house was breathtaking. But the more I moved into the house, the more the terrible memories that my mind had associated it with comes flashing back. I tried to not feel scared but the fear was slowly creeping in and I couldn't stop it.
Flashes of my father pursuing me down the stairs and of me getting knocked down overpowered me and I started feeling faint. I felt a hand catch me from behind before I could fall. The hand helped steady me and I looked up to see Amanda looking at me with a worried expression on her face.
"Becks, you okay?" she asked. I couldn't answer the question because Becky's mom was at my side asking me the same questions.
"Darling, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are you hungry? Come, you should sit down." Mom started to worry and dad, who was removing my things from the car trunk, came running when he noticed the commotion.
"What's wrong with her?" He asked Mom. I loved how much they seemed to care about me. It left me feeling special.
"She looks faint and I am worried about her," Mom answered.
"Here, let me carry her inside. Maybe she just wants to get out of the sun." I did not want to be carried around like a little girl but before I could protest, dad had already lifted me off the ground and he was heading inside.
Mom opened the door for him. As soon as we got into the house, I saw the stairs where Dad had dragged me up by my hair. I felt my body become numb. I couldn't stand to look at the building anymore. So I closed my eyes. I could feel the sting at the back of my eyes and I knew I was about to cry.
I tried to stop the tears from falling but the memories were just so painful that I had to let them fall. I tried shutting out the images by closing my eyes really tight, but some pictures have been burned to my brain and they can never be removed. Some things, you just can never forget.
I don't know who first noticed my tears but mom was the first to ask why I was crying. I opened my eyes to look around and I saw my father standing there with a belt.
He walked towards me screaming the words I dreaded hearing. "You killed my wife!" I heard myself scream back "No, I didn't. You did!" He finally stood so close to me and he used the belt to strike my face. I screamed and that was the last thing I remembered before I fainted.
I opened my eyes to find Amanda staring down at me. She looked relieved when I opened my eyes. "Girl, what the hell just happened? You had us all worried. Your mom is on the phone with Dr Llyod, she is threatening to take the hospital to court because she claims they discharged you when you were not fit to go. The doctor is on his way over by now, I think. But Becks, what happened?"
I couldn't tell her the truth so I just stared at her. She spoke up again, "Becks, can you hear me?" and then she waved her hands across my face.
"Girl, I can see you. You don't need to do that." I told her.
"Well if you can see and hear me, then answer my question. What happened?"
"I don't know. I am not the doctor. But my best bet will be that my body just needs to get used to the sun. You know I have been indoors for like two weeks." I tried to cover up with a white lie. I turned my face away from her because I knew that Amanda would somehow be able to read the lines on my face and know that I was lying. I wondered if I would be having more episodes during my stay here. I made a mental to get a journal, to help me document the lies I would have to tell for each event that occurred in my life.
"Yeah, that would have made sense if you didn't faint inside the house after shouting "No, I didn't. You did". What was that about?"
Oh shit, I can't believe I said that out loud. I thought I was just talking to myself when I said that. "I can't remember saying such. Are you sure you heard me correctly?" And I made a confused look to go along with my lie.
"Girl, we all heard you. You were shaking and screaming and crying. Mom is really worried." She walked towards my direction and when she finally got close to me, she held my hands and looked me in the eyes. "Talk to me Becks, what's wrong?"
I hated it when she did that. She made me feel vulnerable. I honestly wanted to tell her everything that was going on at that point. I smiled at her and said while holding her hands "Amanda, nothing is wrong. I am perfectly fine." But once again I had to lie. "I was just remembering the day the accident happened. It was really brutal you know. Maybe it's because I have never thought about it before and it all just came playing back when I saw the house."
Amanda looked at me and it felt like she could see right through my lie. She brought her face close to mine and we stayed like that for a few minutes. It was starting to freak me out and I asked her, "what the hell are you doing?"
"I'm just trying to read your body language." She replied.
"By looking into my eyes. It's called body language, not eye language Amanda." And I pushed her away from my face.
She was about to react but mom came running inside. "Becky, are you okay? I have called Dr Llyod and he will soon be here. Do you need anything? Juice, some lemonade perhaps?"
She just kept talking and I couldn't get a word in. When she finally stopped, Becky's father came in holding a glass of lemonade and Dr Llyod was right behind him. Dad gave me the glass of lemonade and told me to finish it. I did cause I knew I would be thirsty again after I might have finished explaining to them what didn't really happen.
Dr Llyod stepped forward when I had finished the glass of lemonade and started talking to me probably to get me to calm down. He then turned and ask everyone to leave the room. They all left and he looked at me sternly and said.
"Rebecca Jail, I don't know what happened to you. You were perfectly fine when you left the hospital, so I know it's not a medical problem. But your mother is hell-bent on taking my hospital to court so I need to get to the bottom of this. I believe it's a psychological problem. So tell me what's bothering you?"
"Doc, I don't know. Maybe it has to do with the accident. I never thought about it but when I saw the house, I just kept remembering it."
He looked at me with disbelief and asked "But why did the house bring back memories of the accident? What's the link there?"
I shrugged my shoulders and he signed. He then said words that I knew will not help me in any way. "Well Miss Jail, there is nothing else for me to do here because it's obvious that it's not a medical problem. I will recommend the name of a very good therapist to your parents and I do hope that you take this seriously so that we won't have incidents like this happening again in the future. Well then, have a nice day Becky." And then he left.
I panicked. I knew having a therapist will be a bad idea. If the person is as good as Dr Llyod said, then it will only be a couple of days before he or she found out my secret. I couldn't allow this to happen. I jumped out of bed and ran to the sitting room just in time to hear Dr Llyod telling Becky's parents that I will be needing the services of a therapist because he believes that the problem is more psychological than medical. Before they could agree to it, I yelled out.
"I don't need a therapist!" and I started walking towards them "mom, dad I am perfectly fine. I just came back from the land of the dead. Of course, it's expected for me to just have a moment, it could happen to anyone. It doesn't mean that I need a therapist."
I could see them agreeing with me but Dr Llyod just had to speak up at that moment. "And it's because she just rose from the dead that she needs this therapy the more. It could have affected her in one way or the other."
I was about to argue again when Dad raised his hand as a way of silencing me. "I have made my decision. Rebecca, you will go for this therapy and that's it."
I looked at Dr Llyod with anger in my eyes. Amanda must have noticed it because she spoke lightly "My God, you can cut the tension in here with a knife" and she took her hand and started waving it towards her face. I rolled my eyes at her and stormed upstairs.