I was the typical high school loser. I was awkward and shy, and I had a hard time making friends or fitting in. I spent most of my time alone in my room, playing video games and dreaming of a life where I wasn't such a social outcast.
One day, everything changed for me. I was walking home from school when I saw a flyer for a self-improvement seminar being held at the community centre. It was one of those cheesy motivational talks that I normally would have avoided, but something about it caught my eye.
"Hey, have you seen this?" I asked my friend, who was walking with me.
"Yeah, I heard it's pretty cheesy," he said with a laugh.
"I don't know, I feel like it could be good for me," I said, feeling a spark of hope.
"Suit yourself," he said, shrugging. "I'll catch you later."
After my friend went his way, I made my way to the community centre that evening, feeling a tad bit nervous but I stuck through it. The seminar was populated with a lot of young adults, mostly males. I made my way through the crowd and sat in the vacant middle row.
The speaker on stage was a stoic and loquacious man who I heard others referring to as the Life Coach. He sat on a tall stool, looking down at us in the audience as he spoke.
"I know a lot of you youngsters here are confused about dating the opposite gender. You have a lot of hormones stirring your emotions and don't know what to do. Well, I am here to educate you on various tips and methods you can do to improve." The Life Coach rose from his seat and began pacing across the stage as he continued his speech.
"Earlier, one of you asked about the first step to take to stop being a loser in high school. Well here is the answer. The first step to stop being inadequate is to focus on yourself and your own personal growth. Yes, you heard correctly. This means taking care of your physical and mental health, setting goals for yourself and working towards them. It also means being confident in who you are and not trying to be someone you think others want you to be. To be popular with the ladies, you need to be genuine and authentic, rather than trying to impress them by pretending to be someone you're not. At the end of the day, that shit might backfire on you as well as the person you are trying to court. So, focus on becoming the best version of yourself, and the rest will follow."
Wow, I thought his advice was rather solid, but I wanted to learn more about women, not myself. I had a question of my own that I wanted to put forth, but I didn't want to be too outspoken and embarrassed myself in front of so many people. Later, I discovered that the organizers have a chat set up where anyone could join anonymously to ask questions even if they weren't present at the seminar in person.
I took out my phone and joined the chat to ask a question. While browsing through the comments, I realized that other people have already voiced some questions I had in mind. So I waited for the Life Coach to reach those topics. He had his computer on stage that he occasionally viewed for content.
"Somebody asked for another step? Great! Another important step in becoming more popular at school or wherever social environment you're in is to simply improve your social skills and build strong relationships with people. This can involve making small talk, listening actively when others are speaking and showing interest in their lives and experiences. Be a good friend and be there for others when they need support. By building strong relationships and being a dependable person, you will be more attractive to others and will be more likely to develop meaningful connections with those you are interested in.
Another piece of advice is to be respectful and considerate towards women. Treat them with kindness and respect, rather than objectifying or mistreating them. It's important to remember that women are people with their own thoughts, feelings, and desires, and they deserve to be treated as such. By being a respectful and considerate person, you will show that you are a good person and will be more likely to attract positive attention.
Additionally, it's good to be open to learning and growing as a person. Be open to feedback and criticism and be willing to change and improve upon areas of your life that may not be working for you. You should also be open to new experiences; to trying new things. By being open to learning and growth, you will become a more well-rounded and interesting person, which can be attractive to the opposite sex. So, be open to learning and growing, and don't be afraid to ask for help or advice when you need it."
Someone asked me earlier if it is important to be confident. The answer is absolutely yes. For most girls to like you regardless of how you look, it is to be confident, but not arrogant. Believe in yourself and your own worth, but also do not let your confidence cross the line into arrogance or entitlement.
No one wants to be around someone who is constantly boastful or thinks they are better than everyone else. I'm sure many of you have watched movies where you see some arrogant character acting like he is the shit. How many of you rejoice when that character gets knocked down off his high horse?"
"I do, sir."
"Me too."
The audience and the chat were very responsive to this question. The Life Coach continued, "So, that is why it is important to strike a balance. Be confident, but also humble and gracious. Humility can carry you a long way, you best believe that.
To get any girl to like you is to also be a good listener. This means paying attention when they are speaking or asking questions. Show genuine interest in what they have to say. I know most women don't have anything meaningful to say at times, but still be a good sport and listen. By being a good listener, you will show that you value their thoughts and opinions and you will be more likely to develop deeper connections with them. So, make an effort to be a good listener and show them that you care about what they have to say, even if you might not.
Being positive and supportive is another fantastic trait to have. If you just want something casual, like a friendship then be there when they need someone to talk to or need support and also be encouraging and uplifting. By being there for them when it most counts, you will show that you care about them and that you want to see them succeed and be happy. Therefore, make an effort to be a positive and supportive person."
While scrolling through the chat, I noticed people were still demanding more lessons from the Life Coach regarding becoming popular with girls. Truthfully, I was also intrigued to know more. I wanted to be equipped with the best knowledge available so I can finally overcome my loser streak at school.
I often felt demeaned and sad when I saw my classmates hanging out with their beautiful girlfriends. I couldn't even get the ugliest girl in class to notice me much less to shoot my shot at the top beauties. So I was hoping to leave this seminar a changed individual.