I changed my dress from a half sari into a simple chudidar and took a long nap to finish my unfinished sleep.
This blanket is thick, and it instantly warms me. I used to have these whenever I visited my grandma's house. It's one of my favourite places in my world. My grandpa filled the house with different enormous pots of plants, and he used to water them with a pipe every evening. There would be this huge guava tree in the middle of those plants that every time I go I would climb the tree and have some to my heart's content. Those are the best years of my life.
There would be this smell, which I can't distinguish from something, but a pleasant one that just brings some many memories, and strangely I haven't experienced such fragrance till now anywhere but my grandma's house. I miss those days.
And now this house brings back memories of those days because this house and my surroundings are so similar to my grandma's house. And the backyard is like how my grandparents used to do their own. There's even the tomato plant where I eat those tiny tomatoes, which my uncle only let me do until I brushed my teeth. So I would just wake up and brush my teeth so that he won't have all of them for himself. I miss my uncle's family. They're such sweet people. Their children would call me aunt and I would play with them all day with no rest. They're so naughty and it was so hard to discipline them. I wonder how they're doing now. It's been a long time since I met them. Once I get out of here, I'll go meet them. It would thrill them to see their aunt visit them.
I unknowingly drifted into sleep, thinking about everything. I woke up with my whole body hot. Whenever I try to sleep peacefully, my body heat won't let me. I removed the blanket from me and stood up and went to the mirror. Managed my messed up hair a little, wiped my clothes neat and went downstairs, entered the backyard and took a walk. I want to clear my mind a little. There are so many thoughts running, and it's becoming overwhelming to handle everything.
I sat on the bench and started staring at the sky. The sky is blue with some clouds here and there. It's looking like a painting. Whenever I come across such a thing, I get so out of breath that I'm able to witness such beautiful things in my life. Most people don't appreciate such things in life. A clear sky is always my motivation. Whenever I'm feeling down, the clear sky would calm me. Just like the clear sky in the morning, the moon and stars give me confidence and assurance that everything is going to be alright.
I never once faced a sky full of stars ever in my life. It's a simple wish, but I want to see at least once a sky full of stars twinkling. I never ever expressed my thoughts to anyone because I don't have anyone to talk to except my friend sweety. I'm missing her so much. Furthermore, I wonder how she's doing now.
A little boy had been staring at me for quite some time, but I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice.
Only when I'm about to return to my room, saw a little boy looking at me sneakily. He is maybe 3 to 4 years old, and he's looking cute. His clothes are covered with dust, and his eyes are so big of innocence. His eyes remind me of puppy eyes that look at you with sad eyes.
When he noticed my movements, he hurried away. I know why he's looking at me. Although I don't like children much, I can't resist those who crave affection and puppy eyes.
I tried to look for him, but he left without any trace. While going to the temple, I noticed some children playing on the roadside, but didn't pay much attention. I returned to my home and started writing in my diary, and recorded all the events that happened today.
"Sakhi, where are you?" just when I finished writing my entry, mom started calling me
What's the matter with her? Every time she calls me, it's not good news.
I wore my dupatta and went to the stairs. She's in the wash area. I forgot to mention that this home has a well, and it's pretty deep. And I have to bathe every day with the well water
The weather is cold, and I want to freeze. I can soak in cold water, except in winter. I can't wash with cold water during the winter. The water would be cold, and I'll get freezing after a shower, which results in fever,
But now here I have to shower with cold water every single day and I can't even complain.
I went to her and asked what the matter was, and she wanted me to fill all the metal containers with water. Now I'm truly regretting why I came into this world. This bitch Sakhi never worked in her entire life and to teach her a lesson, her parents are forcing her to do the household chores. And it is a part of those chores. It would not have been difficult if I just have to fill the containers with water, but the difficulty here is that I have to bring the water from the well, carry the water bucket with me and then empty all the water into the containers.
I know that I'll die even before I complete this task. If not, then I will break my back.
There are like 10-12 large containers that it would take me 10 mins each to fill everything. I don't want to do it. So I shook my head and refused to do it. She looked at me calmly and said, if you don't want to do it, then you can go, but you won't get food today and tomorrow. You can decide.
Why does she always give me trouble? When I first entered this world, I thought she was a good woman and would show some mercy to me, but lord, I was so wrong. Dad is doing nothing, but she's giving me continuous work, giving me body pains. But I have to do it if I have to survive here. I still have no idea about the functioning of this world, so I have to be careful. After tying my dupatta around my waist, I began my work. I dropped the bucket, which was tied with a rope, into the well and waited till the bucket was full and started pulling it. It was so heavy and impossible to lift them. I pulled with my entire strength and slowly the bucket was coming up. When the bucket came up, I put it down to the ground and carried it to the container. After emptying the bucket into the container, it was like a drop in the ocean. The container was not even half filled, and my palms were already turning red. But I didn't lose my motivation and quickly returned to the well and started doing the same method several times. They completed filling all the containers with water in one and a half hours. Nothing was empty. I soaked my clothes with water from carrying the bucket several times. I noticed that I had scratched my hands, which were swollen and red. Tears started to roll in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. The more pain it inflicts on me, the more my desire to leave this world is becoming stronger. I refuse to sink. I harshly wiped my tears and left for my room.
I went to have a bath after removing my wet clothes. I didn't get to wash properly as my palms were too painful to move. After carefully wiping my hands, I wore my clothes slowly and went to bed, as my back was killing me after carrying so much water back and forth. With the movement, I hit the bed, tears rolled freely from my eyes. I tried to be strong, but I think I'm too weak. I sobbed silently as I covered myself with the blanket. After I cried for a while, I wiped my tears and went to sleep. I woke up as I felt someone calling them. It's mom. I lowered my head a little, as I don't want to face her.
"Wake up, it's dinnertime. Come and have food." What's the point of eating when I'm going to work like dead tomorrow? I shook my head and said, "I'm not starving. You guys can carry on,"
"What happened, dear?" she tried to touch my hair, and I instinctively backed away from her.
"It's okay mom, I just have a headache and am not hungry," she looked reluctant to leave, but after a lot of pleading she finally left.
I'm hungry, but I can't eat with these hands. If the chilli gets into the scratches, then it would hurt like hell.
I closed my doors without locking them and went to the window. It was windy today and harsh winds were flowing all around. All the trees going left and right. I carefully closed the windows and went back to sleep.
To be continued...