After that incident, I became impassive about everything. I am feeling worthless, getting sick of everything. I feel sluggish and just want to sleep. I stopped getting out of my room and bed. I would just sit in my bed staring into nothing. I don't know what's happening to me. I even stopped writing my diary. Stopped looking outside from my window. I don't know why, but I suddenly lost interest in everything. I just want to forget everything. As a result, Mom became stricter to me. I don't believe she loved her daughter at all. This isn't the way to teach a lesson to the child. Even if she's a grown ass woman. The harder the work, the more silent I became. She made me clean this whole house without any rest or food for the whole day.
I'm spending my whole day either sleeping or working. I think I lost a lot of weight. I'm actually a little chubby, and now I think I shred all that weight with what I've been doing for the past few days. The only thing I ate was a few bites, and then I just threw everything out. My favourites aren't pleasing me any more. My favourite food used to make me drool, but now that's no longer the case.
There is nothing about this character in the book, so I don't know anything about her. I can only rely on her blurry memories and behave. I don't know how her relationship with her parents is, and now, after experiencing it a bit, I know that's not a pleasant one. This lady sometimes talks to me like there's none in this world who can love me like her, and then the next second, she treats me like a slave.
Maybe she felt a little pity for me. She started giving me less work than she usually does. Now, she's teaching me how to cook food. I don't need to do any cooking, I just have to observe how she's cooking. It may look like a simple task, but it isn't. I have to bring everything that she demands, and I have to prepare the ingredients all by myself. If we're going to eat, then I have to grind the grains for the batter. If we're going to eat puri, then I have to make the flour and balls. I have to cut all the vegetables if she's making a curry.
I think we no longer need a housemaid because I became one. Not only that, but I'm literally doing everything in this house. Now I even started washing clothes. Washing clothes is horrible for me. Every time I do it, the water soaks up all the clothes I am wearing. Why do I even have to do it when we have a washing machine in my home? We just have to put the clothes inside the drum and then, well, we washed the clothes perfectly, and they were ready to dry. But here I have to wash every single piece of clothing. And my back is killing me.
Today is finally the day of Jatara. Another tiring day. I'm so tired of this now. I just want to go back to my world now. I can no longer bear it. My mom gave me a beautiful half sari which I wore. It's the classic maroon and green half sari, not really my taste, but whatever. I applied some cream, face powder, lipstick and completed my look with a bindi.
Mom was already waiting for me when I reached downstairs. There's a jute bag beside her on the ground, probably coconuts.
"We're already late. Let's go. And don't forget to bring the coconuts with you."
I looked at her in confusion. She wants me to carry these to the car?
I lifted the bag and god there's so heavy.
I carried them to the car and dropped them in the trunk.
"Why are you still standing here? Let's go,"
"But aren't we going by car?"
"What are you saying? We have to walk barefoot till the temple,"
That's when I noticed she doesn't have any footwear under her feet. Overwhelming grief surrounded my heart as I reluctantly removed my footwear, took the coconut bag from the trunk and started to walk to the temple.
Today, there's a lot more crowd in the streets than it normally does. Most of them are women wearing a bit grander saris than the basic ones they usually do. And almost everyone is barefoot. I guess it's a tradition!
Only after 5 mins of walking, I'm covered in sweat. These are so heavy, I don't think I can hold on to them any longer. But I don't have any choice but to carry them.
My actual parents used to pamper me so much, even though we don't have much money with us to enjoy any luxury. But here, even after living in the mansion every day, I'm getting treated not a lot better than a slave.
My arms became sore by the time we reached the starting point of the temple. The surroundings were all decorated beautifully with all the banana leaves and garlands.
So they installed many stalls around the temple for us to buy anything. There are so many things. I became excited, like a little kid who's attracted to a toy.
Some stalls are selling sweet fried food and others some jewellery. People surround all the stalls. It's a bit crowded now, maybe they'll be less after some time.
After pushing and pulling a lot of people, we finally made it to the entrance of the temple.
It filled the temple with people, but it's still not fully occupied.
We stood in a queue to get the sight of the god. It's a huge line, and it's moving so slowly. After waiting for 30 minutes, we finally got to see the sight of the god. I prayed with all my heart to get me out of this world and from these miseries.
After praying, we went to sit in a corner for a few minutes.
"You go outside and start breaking the coconuts. I'll stay here for a few more minutes and bring Prasad." Mom said to me seriously.
I went outside with the heavy bag of coconut to break them.
There are so many people who are breaking the coconuts. They all must vow to god.
I slowly emptied the bag and placed the coconut on the ground. There is an iron plate in L shape turned upside down, and we have to hit the coconuts against them.
This is always my living nightmare. Once I vowed for something in the real world, I had to break 5 coconuts and in that process, I accidentally cut my palm skin.
I carefully took one and started breaking them. The coconut water is splashing all over my body. I finish not even 5 breaking. My hands already turned red.
I carefully broke every coconut and put them aside. It took me almost an hour to finish the 50 coconuts. By the time I finished, my hands were shaking so much. My whole body drained out. I don't even have the energy to go back home. My palms are literally bleeding. I need to put something on them soon.
I feel like crying. "Are you finished? Come, let's go," mom came and said.
Doesn't she care about my wounds? Such a heartless lady. You'll definitely go to hell for this lady, mark my words. I muttered in anger and stomped my foot against the ground. I'll definitely get back to you.
I followed her carefully, and we went back to the house. When I was on my way to go back to my room, mom called me and gave me Prasad. But I didn't take it as my palms were burning, paining right now. She noticed my palms and fed me some.
I thanked her and went back to my room. I carefully removed my clothes, so I could not hurt my palms even more, and changed into normal clothes.
I carefully rested in my bed and started looking at my palms, and that's when mom came to my room with a bowl filled with butter. She sat beside me and started applying the butter to my palms. She carefully applied it, like applying it to a fragile flower. Not only that, but she started blowing cool air to let them dry. Without saying anything, she left.
I don't understand this woman, but one thing is definitely going to hell.
To be continued…