"Good night mom"
I said as I walked to the door to leave my mother's room.
"Good night"
Her voice is weak, much weaker than mine but for some reason, I can feel hope in her, which is impossible to feel in mine even though I'm in a better situation than her.
I close the door softly as she walks to my room and closes the door again, everyone in the house must be sleeping now. I walk over to the mirror and look coldly into my eyes as I take off all my clothes until I'm down to my underwear.
My body is skinny and weak, I don't usually eat a lot or do any kind of exercise but I still dreamed of being a hero. The skin on my face is smooth and I cannot feel any blemishes on it.
In my eyes, I can't identify a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust.
Absolutely nothing is happening inside of me, except for this thing that is becoming stronger and stronger even if I have people beside me, it doesn't disappear... it's like... I can't be fixed.
I cannot say that I hate it, it is one of the few emotions I have left...
.
.
.
.
"Hey Alex, open the door!"
Hearing my sister knocked on the door I go and calmly open it.
"You're too young for this..."
I hear my sister talking while I finish fixing my clothes, I woke up early today simply because I couldn't sleep, being alone in a room with the light off distracts me too much.
My sister seems to have woken up recently so I'm probably going to school alone today.
"I'm going to eat something and I'm leaving"
I said and went to the kitchen without looking back.
As on every Monday in this life, I go down to the kitchen and get ready to eat something, the only difference with this Monday is that I'm alone.
In the refrigerator there is some food that I didn't eat yesterday which I grab and heat, since mom didn't cook, dad left us a little money so that we could buy something to eat instead of what my sister cooks.
I take the food from the microwave and sit down to eat quietly with a bottle of water at the table.
I've been falling from the structure I built in 10 for 40 years and I'm still going down non-stop, the ground is clearly visible from up here and although I've been falling for so long it seems the firefighter doesn't want to put the trampoline before I finish my fall and he just keeps looking at me from down there without giving me the slightest importance.
I keep wondering... if someone's going to catch me down there.
I already fell before but no one tried to catch me, the firefighter just disappeared as if he didn't want anything to do with me, after almost touching it a great black hole appeared on the floor and it sends me up again.
If I try to go faster, somebody would come to catch me, or is gonna let me hit the floor?
I don't even know the answers to my questions and probably nobody knows them...
After finishing eating I went and washed what I had used and then dried my hands. I see my sister behind me, apparently, now she is going to have breakfast so I simply go to the living room to take my backpack, I have the same books that last Friday although I would be supposed to bring other books but I just don't care.
"I'm going to school now, I don't want to be late"
I tried to speak with the highest tone I could but my voice came out a little broken. But I think she heard what I said so I just opened the door and get out of this place.
Once again, I can see this strange blue color of the sky and the sun hitting my face.
.
.
.
.
I was walking calmly on my way to school when suddenly I felt something dangerous coming from my back so I quickly moved and I could see how someone's leg was going to hit me if I didn't move.
I quickly took her by the hair and squeezed a little hard
"What you want Rumi?"
This is the girl my sister was talking about yesterday, Rumi Usagiyama, she is very short and has long white hair along with a pair of ears on her head, she has beautiful red eyes that seem to be full of fire and emotion, and she also loves to fight with everyone for some any reason.
"I want to kick you until you beg me to stop!"
Rumi is always like this, I guess it's her way of showing love.
"You are too aggressive..."
"I know it!"
She said as she easily undoes my grip.
"Maybe that's why I'm the only friend you have"
I looked at her for a second before continuing on my way to school, apparently what I said hurt her a bit since I always used to treat her friendly no matter what she did.
Unfortunately, I am no longer the same, now I am simply a bunch of disordered memories and the soul of a guy who is not remembered by absolutely anyone, an empty soul that I would like someone else to take.
All of this constant and sharp pain... I would like somebody else to have it instead of me, I don't want it, I don't need it... In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others.
.
.
.
.
"Oh what a coincidence, little Alex arrives with us"
About to enter the school a group of kids moved in front of me, it seems like they were waiting for me.
In front of them is a boy with black hair and a tall stature whose name I don't remember but he is the head of this group of idiots.
I try to keep walking without even looking at them, but one of those nameless ones stands in front of me.
"Boss is talking to you useless..."
I simply stare at the nameless in front of me and he unconsciously moves from my path as I continue walking.
"Why did you let him go, idiot"
Said the boss as he looked at the nameless who had gotten in the way and now seemed to be a little scared.
With a simple look, I could see the future of that nameless, he will end up just like me... dead in an alley with absolutely no one to remember him and have contributed nothing to humanity. I can't feel the slightest bit of empathy for him, it's his fault that he ended up in such a pitiful state.
He means absolutely nothing, and for that, I can feel just a single emotion for him...
Disgust.