That was the first conversation Adam managed to get through with Erica without feeling like an idiot. Probably because of the subject matter. He was more comfortable talking about his family than he was anything else.
She asked how things were chaotic and stories spilled out of him without even thinking as they walked over to the library. He didn't even realize that he had talked to her so easily until she had to head to class and cheerfully waved him off like she did every time they parted ways.
He really didn't know what to make of all that. They had talked like they were actually friends and she had laughed more than he had ever seen her laugh. Her laugh was adorable and he couldn't stop thinking about it until he saw her on Wednesday and was able to hear it again. He was hopeless, wasn't he?
Adam may have been a little bit in love with her since seventh grade but it was so much worse now that he was interacting with her regularly again. They talked a lot more than they did back then too so, naturally, he would fall even harder.
He knew this was a terrible idea. Erica might think the stories he told about his siblings were funny but she didn't like him. They only hung out at all because they bonded over how horrible their one shared class was. Once it was over, he would be lucky if he caught glimpses of her around campus with how many students there were here.
As much as he hated the professor, the assignments, and the curriculum, he couldn't hate the class anymore because he was able to sit next to her and listen (and occasionally contribute) to her snarky commentary about it.
Adam knew she was funny based on those comics she used to draw but it was so much more obvious now that he was able to talk to her like this. He didn't ever want their time together to stop but knew that wasn't realistic. She had completely forgotten him in high school so she could never see him in a romantic light.
And even if she did…he didn't have time for a girlfriend. He had commitments to fulfil. He knew she had a very active social life, going to on-campus events and taking full advantage of the college experience in the way he couldn't even if he wanted to.
They had different priorities. She had a carefree life filled with fun when she wasn't studying. She didn't even need a job because her parents could afford to support her.
Even if his dad had lived, his parents had too many kids to pay for anyone's college. It was why he had studied hard enough to get a scholarship in the first place. He had always known he would be on his own financially.
Thinking about this was stupid. It would never happen. All Adam was doing was setting himself up for disappointment because he KNEW things could never work out.
He should just enjoy the moment for what it was. Things could get back to normal as soon as the semester was over. But it became harder to convince himself of that as the semester went on.
Adam and Erica ate lunch and studied/did homework together every day they had Anthropology. And when they had a group project, they teamed up and ended up seeing each other every day for about a week to work on it.
They had to work around his schedule though because she had a lot more free time than he did. She hadn't realized he had a job before then and had a lot of questions about what it was like working in a movie theater. He had plenty of horror stories to tell and those kept her laughing too as they ate lunch.
He shouldn't be depending on her company so much. He really shouldn't.
Adam wasn't only living for the weekends anymore. He was living for the moments he was able to spend with Erica. That had to stop or he was going to find himself disappointed next semester.
He had more important things to worry about than his nonexistent love life anyway. Like the holidays coming up. It would be the first time they celebrated Thanksgiving or Christmas without Darren and he was willing to bet it would be hard. He had to be mentally present for his family…and make sure the kids had good presents despite the drop in household income.
He was planning on picking up extra shifts but when Colton heard that, he snorted. "With what time? Don't sweat it, Adam. I'll take care of the Christmas money."
"But you can't work until after your birthday."
"Not officially but I've already been taking on some dog walking, housesitting, and babysitting jobs. You didn't notice because you were working yourself to death over the summer but I started then so I already have a few hundred dollars saved. You focus on school."
Adam was both touched and impressed that he thought so far ahead. "You did that?"
"Yeah. Jen and JoJo really want this Nerf gun set and Pete's been going on forever and a day about this big LEGO thing but I know he won't get it for his birthday because money's tight. That was what originally gave me the idea," Colton admitted.
"You're a good brother, Colton."
"Not as good as you though."
"I'm just doing what needs to be done," Adam said with a shrug.
"Yeah but I feel like most guys your age would hightail it out as soon as they could in a situation like this instead of taking care of everyone. You never do anything for you, just for other people. When do you even have fun?"
Erica immediately flashed through his mind. Their association may be temporary but he definitely had fun with her.
"I have fun with you guys."
"Aside from that!"
"…I have fun at school."
"Seriously? What about school is fun?" Colton asked in disbelief.
"I have a friend in one of my classes. We eat lunch together three times a week and have fun then," Adam said somewhat defensively. He didn't want his brother to worry about him but knew he would be obnoxious if he knew Erica was a girl.
"Oh yeah? What's his name?"
Crap. He really didn't want to tell him but knew he would endure all sorts of commentary if he told the truth. While Adam was debating what to do, Colton's smile grew very nosy.
"It's a girl, isn't it?"
"Shut up, Colton."
"Adam! You actually managed to get over your hopeless unrequited crush? That's great!"
Colton only knew about Erica because they rode the bus together once he was a freshman and he had seen Adam staring at her on his way to the bus area and asked about her because he had never seen his brother be interested in anyone. He had threatened to beat him up if he told anyone about it and, thus far, he never had.
Adam sighed, knowing he couldn't lie here either. "It's her."
"What?"
"Erica's in my Anthropology class. It sort of just…happened."
Colton's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "What?! She actually knows you exist now? You never would have talked to her first so did she?"
"Yes."
Adam ended up telling his brother the whole story and, as expected, he took it wrong. "That's great! You finally have a reason to get more of a life!"
"She doesn't like me though."
"You don't know that if you don't ask her out."
"I don't have the time to ask anyone out," Adam said dismissively. "It's not going to happen anyway so get any dumb ideas out of your head."
"You could though. Once I'm sixteen, I plan on getting a job. You can cut back on your hours and I can take over that portion of the help you give Mom," Colton replied far more seriously than usual.
Adam's jaw dropped. "Why would you do that? You have school. You're trying to get a scholarship too so—"
"I don't plan on working myself to death like you. Just having a job period. Tons of high schoolers have jobs. Besides, you managed. Anything you can do, I can do."
"Colton…"
"I've never been more serious. You're always taking care of everyone but who's taking care of you? No one. Just let me have your back. It won't kill you."
Adam wasn't sure he had ever appreciated his brother more. Colton could certainly be annoying and they had an ongoing game feud that he doubted would ever stop but it was moments like this that let him know how much he was loved.
He hugged Colton tightly. "Love you."
"Love you too. Quit being boring and live a little, okay? Just ask her out. You never know. It might work out!"
Adam smacked him upside the head as he broke the hug. Of course he had to be annoying even when he was doing something nice. Colton wasn't known for letting things go.
He dropped the subject for now, not wanting to get smacked again, but Adam was still annoyed. He couldn't risk things not working out and wouldn't have the time or capacity to worry about anyone else even after cutting back on his work hours.
He obviously wanted to spend whatever new free time he had with his siblings since they hated having him gone so much. He wasn't cut out for a normal college student life even without factoring that in because he wasn't one for putting himself out there with strangers. He would never fit into Erica's life.