Adam got through the Christmas season by the skin of his teeth both because of finals approaching and how everyone was struggling not having Darren around. He was so exhausted that his mom tried to get him to cut back on his hours but he couldn't until Colton's birthday in February.
The two things keeping him going were seeing Erica and Colton's steady stream of baked goods that he packed in his lunches. The sugar was his lifeline.
She noticed after he brought them a few times and asked about it. He explained that one of his brothers loved to bake and offered her one of his precious cookies because she was curious. Her eyes widened as she took a bite.
"This is amazing! Your fifteen-year-old brother made this?!"
"Yep."
"Wow. This tastes professional. I would totally buy this."
"I'll have to pass on the compliment," Adam said with an inward sigh, already thinking about how it would both give Colton a big head and more ammo to tease him about Erica with.
As predicted, it did both. Colton preened about it for days and tried to get Adam to ask her out again. At least the compliment made him happy. That was the only reason Adam bothered telling him in the first place. He could certainly use more of that in his life.
Christmas Eve without their dad was hard and so was Christmas Day but they both exchanged a satisfied smile when they saw how happy their younger siblings were opening those extra presents. Sarah actually cried when she pulled them aside later and hugged them both at the same time to thank them. They hadn't wanted to make their mom cry but were glad she was proud of them.
Unfortunately, the emotional landmines weren't over yet. There was still New Year's Eve and the first anniversary of Darren's death to get through in January.
Adam was so tired when he went back to school. Erica was all smiles and full of talk about how her sister's family visited for the holidays and asked him about his. He had enough to say that wasn't miserable to keep her from being suspicious.
He didn't even like talking about his feelings with his family who was going through the same thing. There was no way he would tell her. She would only feel sorry for him and he didn't want that.
So he said nothing. At least the actual anniversary was on a Sunday. He wouldn't have to pretend to be okay in front of her then because he saw her every weekday now between their two shared classes. It was still rough the week before though.
Erica actually noticed there was something off about him despite how he had grown so good at hiding his feelings that even Colton couldn't see through them without a lot of pushing. She frowned in concern.
"You okay, Adam?"
"I'm fine," he said automatically. "Just tired. Things will get better on that front soon anyway."
It was true. Once the anniversary was over and Colton was contributing to the household so he could cut back on his hours a bit, things would be a lot better.
"Oh. That's good," Erica said before a somewhat awkward silence settled over them. He wasn't entirely sure she believed him so he changed the subject to an essay they had coming up in Literature.
As expected, the anniversary was rough. Everyone was a mess at the graveside as they brought flowers but Sarah most of all. Adam desperately wished there was more that he could do. Specifically, he wished that his dad could tell him what he should do to help them better.
It would have been great if he could have left an instruction manual or something but he obviously hadn't expected to die so young. It came as a real shock to everyone. Adam didn't have an instruction manual but did have everything his dad ever taught him. That would have to be enough because it was all he would get for the rest of his life.
When everyone else started walking back to the car, he reached out to touch the headstone. "I'm doing my best, Dad. I just hope it's enough," he whispered before joining them.
It took another week or two for everyone to get back to the sort of emotional equilibrium they had before the holidays but that came as a huge relief. As did Colton going out and getting a job at Freddie Funnington's Fun-a-palooza right after his birthday.
The twins and Peter were thrilled because he got an employee discount and they wanted to go. So Adam ended up taking them on the first Saturday he had off in ages. Evan claimed he was too old for stuff like this but Adam had his number. He had just as much fun as anyone else with the arcade games even if he couldn't go crawling through the tunnels like the younger kids.
Adam had fun with the arcade games too. Just because this place was technically meant for little kids didn't mean it couldn't still be enjoyable for anyone older. Games were games no matter where they were played.
He gave all of his tickets to the younger kids to split but Evan refused to part with his despite initially saying it was lame. Typical.
Everyone was chattering about how much fun they had when they got home to their mom, who hadn't been feeling well. It was why Adam took them out alone in the first place.
"You feeling any better, Mom?"
Sarah gave him a strained smile. "Not really but thanks for asking."
"I'll make dinner then. You go back to sleep."
"Thanks, Adam. You're an angel."
Adam smiled at the compliment and went to go make dinner as everyone else went off to play. While it was in the oven, he ended up joining their rather intense game of Phase Ten partway through.
Unfortunately, good things don't last because he ended up catching what his mom had. He could hardly move so he had to call out sick from work and miss two days of class. When he finally went back all drugged up on DayQuil, Erica fretted over him.
"What happened to you?"
"My mom was sick and I caught it," he said in a stuffed-up voice. "You might not want to sit next to me."
"Oh, I'll be fine. Someone needs to give you the notes you missed anyway," she insisted as she pulled them out and handed them over to copy.
"Thanks, Erica."
"No problem!"
Adam was very lucky he got the notes from her. He didn't have the same luck in his other classes because he didn't have any friends in there. One of his professors showed mercy seeing how obviously sick he was but the other said that attendance was his responsibility and he couldn't get them without a doctor's note. Like he could afford to go to the doctor for a bad cold!
His head was splitting by lunch but he couldn't take more of the medicine for another two hours. He ended up laying his head on the table in misery.
"Adam…you should really go home," Erica said gently.
"I can't miss any more work. I'll be fine."
"You're about to keel over."
"I just need to wait until I can take another dose of medicine. Sorry. I don't think I'll be much help today."
"Why are you apologizing? Everybody gets sick. You need to take better care of yourself," Erica scolded. Now she sounded like Colton.
In his current state, he didn't realize he said that aloud until she looked at him funny. His face heated and it had nothing to do with the fever. How embarrassing! She didn't need to know anything about that or the current state of his life.
It was fine. He had adjusted to how things were. The only reason he was struggling right now was because he was sick.
"…he doesn't think you take care of yourself either?"
"He says I work too hard," Adam mumbled, not seeing a way out of explaining himself at least minimally.
"I'm going to have to agree with him. Wait here," Erica said.
He didn't know how long she was gone since he stayed with his head down and no concept of time but when she came back, it was with a bowl of soup from one of the places in the food court. He looked at her in confusion.
"I do have lunch, you know."
"Yeah but soup is better when you're sick. You can save that for later. Eat," she told him sternly.
Adam was too out of it to argue with her. He mumbled his thanks once he finished because it actually did make him feel a bit better. Maybe it was the soup itself, maybe it was because she was worried enough to buy it for him. Or a bit of both.
"It's important to take care of yourself, Adam," Erica said. "And you're welcome."
He felt lively enough to get an easy homework assignment done before he was able to take his medicine again. That got him through his shift at work so he could go home and crash. He wasn't fully better for another three days and felt like an entirely new person once he was able to properly breathe again. All was right in the world!
Erica smiled when she noticed the difference. "Glad you're feeling better."
"Me too," Adam said fervently. "That was a terrible time to get sick with midterms coming up."
She pulled a face at the reference to midterms. "We better get cracking then. I don't know about you but I want to get all As."
So did he. His scholarship was dependent on not getting lower than a 3.5 GPA and he could not afford to lose it. At least he wasn't dealing with midterms and his old work schedule this time. The new one was much more manageable. He really owed Colton.