???: Hello there everyone, I am Sinbad, the cousin of Emma Colette and I am here to talk about a topic we may have heard about but you may not have given much thought to. Yes, that topic is what I refer to as cardinality!
Emma: (Suspicious glare) And what is my mitochondrion of a cousin up to now?
Sinbad: Unlike Emma I'm not a fan of drama so my speech will be in article format.
Ed: (Bored look) Who wants to read a newspaper? Besides I am yet to get back at you for marooning me in 'This show shall be discontinued!' You better look forward to it!
Sinbad: By then, you'd best come up with a way to disrupt my ability to read waves.
Ed: (Bored look) You sorely underestimate the ability of bad weather to interfere with signal transmissions!
Sinbad: Scaaaaary!
Emma: Hmmph! I don't hang around him for nothing you know? (Sly smile).
Sinbad: Okay! Let's get started.
SINBAD:
These are questions we often fail to ask ourselves.
1. Are all planets elliptical?
2. If not, do we have round, square and other shaped planets leaving aside planets that have possibly been altered by meteor or asteroid activity.
3. Considering this, why is the planet we live in elliptical instead of spherical? What would have been the major difference?
4. Also, if all sides of the earth were flattened like its north and south poles and the magnetic forces on the west and east sides of the earth were constant and the earth didn't rotate, wouldn't we be surer of our cardinal points?
EMMA: Your point being?
ED: I don't think he has a point. Must we listen to his nonsense?
SINBAD: (Pushes up glasses and mouth and ears assumes the shape of a cats. Also sprouts whiskers)
ED: Haraguro megane plus nekomimi mode! What the hell kind of chimera jutsu is this?!
EMMA: Besides the concept of cardinality refers more to importance. I don't know where you're going with cardinal points!
SINBAD:
You may not have thought of this but with the nature of the earth as it is, North and South are the only fixed cardinal points precisely because the earth spins on its axis (smirk!).
EMMA: AAAARRRGHH!!! (The shocking profoundness of this revelation hits her hard.)
SINBAD:
Those two poles are absolute and will not change under normal circumstances. So we know North and South are directions, but they are also actual places (wide smirk).
ED: AAARGGGH!!!! I SHOCK!!!
SINBAD: Due to the elliptical shape of the planet as well as the constancy of these two points regardless of the rotation, North and South aren't just guiding points but they are actual places. Thank magnetism for that. So what of East and West? These two "so called" directions are only relative to where North and South is.
ED: SINBAD KOWAI!!! EMMA! YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOUR COUSIN WAS THIS SCARY!!!
EMMA: Now you know why I've sent countless assassins after him!
SINBAD: Also due to the rotation of the planet, since they move along, they are never in the same place for too long. Also, due to the revolution of the planet and if you take into consideration galactic motion, what are the chances that the moment we are in now "in the universe", we will ever return to?
Let me rephrase that. Imagine the universe is a three dimensional whatchamacallit with its own longitudes and latitudes.
Firstly, our planet is rotating while we think we're at the same "universal location."
Secondly, our planet revolves around the sun and it probably thinks it is in the same "universal location" not considering that our whole galaxy is moving as well.
Thirdly, since we have determined that our planet rotates and revolves, we are conscious of the fact that our planet will not be in the same location for the duration of a year in relation to our sun.
Fourthly, at least throughout rotation, revolution and galactic motion, one thing we are sure of is that the earth's North and South Poles are always North and South since the earth naturally does not somersault (pushes up glasses so they sparkle).
Then what of East and West? First of all, they are not actually definite positions or directions since their positions or directions are relative to the positions of North and South which are definite positions and actual places on earth due to their constancy and reliability. If North and South are points, East and West is…(pushes glasses up again and smirks) like a dog chasing its tail! In other words, a loop!
ED AND EMMA: SHOOOOCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!
SINBAD: Do you know what this means? Under certain conditions, East is in the location we previously referred to as West and West is in the location we previously referred to as East!
ED AND EMMA: That's a scary thought! Why don't I suddenly like where this is going?!
SINBAD: Now if even in rotation these two "Cardinal Points" that are not actually points but extensions of themselves are supposedly not in the same "location for a year", what are the chances that in consideration of revolution and galactic motion, they will ever be at a point they were in previously?! That is if time is really determined by galactic motion, then history never really repeats itself!
ED: Anti-climactic! And I thought he was a reliable person too! Well I guess you might have a point but only if time is not determined by galactic motion.
SINBAD: I guess the point I'm trying to make is…East and West are like Thunder! They're never in the same place twice!
ED: I think my GPS just got messed up by Sinbad's navigational nonsense.
EMMA: I'm still wondering what his point is! He's been talking of cardinal points when he said his talk was going to be based on 'cardinality'.
SINBAD:
Interestingly enough, the two forces moving the affairs of the world are predominantly called "The East" and "The West".
EMMA AND ED: HEY! HEY! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?! AFTER THE POINT YOU MADE WITH CARDINAL POINTS, ANYTHING YOU SAY NOW WILL JUST SOUND SCARY?!!
SINBAD: But if…
ED AND EMMA: He completely ignores us!
SINBAD: …just in case by some random but very naturally occurring principle in nature the universe is a fixed room, the galaxy is the kitchen, and some ants dancing around a ___________ of meat is our solar system and the meat is of course the sun and the ants are the planets and one of those ants is our planet and one ant starts waltzing and spinning on its hind legs not considering the fact that two bacteria named "East" and "West" are locking protozoa… "just saying…freedom of speech SHIKOOOO!!!!" believing they are absolute cardinal points. From all the nonsense I've said, the one moral lesson we should all learn is…
"At a certain point in time, via natural principle and without miraculous intervention, thanks to rotation East will find itself in the position previously referred to as West and West will find itself in the position previously referred to as East!"
-By Sinbad!
Cousin Of Emma Colette!
Ed: I don't think I have ever heard nonsense sound so impressive!
Emma: You've finally finished what you wanted to say. I must say, I am vaguely impressed my mitochondrion of a cousin.
Sinbad: (Glares at Emma from the corner of his eyes with an expressionless look) If after all I've said, I Sinbad am a mitochondrion, then you Emma are merely an abysmal electron.
Emma: Mathematical lies!
THE END!