I wasn't sure if it was anxiety that I felt while I was sitting in the back seat of the police car on the way to a place that no one wanted to tell me anything about so far - that is, except for Romeo, who just before the arrival of the two policemen more than surprised me with his information - but I certainly didn't feel comfortable.
This car was taking me directly to a man who had an overwhelming effect on me and whom I could perceive and react to with every single cell in my body.
Through the car window, I was unable to gain a better sense of my surroundings, which made me even more tense. When the metal gate leading to the apartment complex appeared in my field of vision, I finally realized that this was really happening.
A short moment later, the driver stopped to let the gate open, then drove straight to the parking lot.
Without another word, I was taken to one of the buildings to the elevator.
,,What is this place?" My question was directed to the stockier man standing next to me, who side-eyed me. I felt his gaze on me for some time.
,,It's part of the prison setting intended for such cases." He answered me, this time looking straight ahead.
Since I knew there wouldn't be another explanation, I nodded. It seemed impossible to prepare myself mentally for what was to come, but I tried to buy myself time.
,,Millie."
I jerked my head up out of reflex as a reaction to my name being called and only then did I realize it. I looked directly into the face of Su-Jin, who was standing in front of the elevator door in gray sweatpants and a printed t-shirt.
His hair was not typically tied in a small bun, instead it was loose in a messy way. As he stared directly into my face, his hands hung casually along his body.
,,Let us in, Mr. Nahm." The second of the policemen spoke.
Totally ignoring the man next to me, Su-Jin's attention was solely focused on me. ,,Let's talk."
,,You don-"
,,Could you please provide us with some privacy, officer?"
After his question, the addressed policeman was about to step towards him, but was suddenly stopped by a hand on his shoulder, which belonged to his very colleague.
The next thing I knew, I was being pushed slightly behind the back into the hallway as the same man pressed a button and the elevator doors began to close.
The moment we were standing in a quiet hall framed by only a few doors, I gripped the keys tighter in my palm then immediately opened it and looked at the number on the small metal tag.
I tried to take a vigorous step as I moved forward with my suitcase by my side and my knees almost made me thank them for not shaking.
,,Ya." His voice came from behind me.
Once I was at the door with the number identical to the one on the keys in my palm, I didn't hesitate to start unlocking it.
,,Ya!" He repeated, but this time more forcefully. Then I heard footsteps approaching along with it.
As soon as the door lock clicked, I was more than determined to create my own protective barrier with it.
,,Stop the hell right there, Millie!" Su-Jin's yell echoed in my ears as I froze in motion.
With the door half-open, I remained motionless until I finally managed to shook my head.
,,No." I took a step forward again as I pushed the door further with my hand.
,,Can you just fucking listen?!"
His footsteps echoing down the hall could no longer be heard and with this knowledge it was easier to turn to face him.
,,You know what..." I began as I unconsciously moved towards him.
,,No. I cannot!" My approach became closer and closer.
,,I cannot and will not listen! I really wanted to, you know... And right now, I hope with all my heart that I never have to go back to that part of my past. To the day when so much horror happened..." I stood only a few feet away from him as our gazes battled for dominance over the other.
,,You need to-"
,,A man has died!" A shout escaped my lips as wetness began to spill over the skin on my cheeks. There was nothing I could do to stop myself from crying tears of anger.
,,While I was so preoccupied with you, there was much more going on around me - so much."
Both of us gazed in different directions during the heavy silence. There might have been some regret in my words, but maybe I was feeling relieved.
,,Well, that's over now." My eyes drifted back to his face as his features hardened after hearing my voice. His Adam's apple shifted as he swallowed loudly.
I backed off after this. In order for me to believe what I had just said, I planned to close the apartment door behind me as quickly as possible.
However there was one particular thing that prevented me from doing so. That was Su-Jin's fingers tightly wrapped around my forearm along with a sudden jerk that made me to walk in line with him straight to the door of my temporary ,,home".
A surprised shriek caught in my throat and was kept right there along with my voice itself.
Su-Jin's palm slid down my arm to my wrist as he closed the door behind us with his other hand.
,,You'll listen, Millie. You're going to sit on your butt and listen to me. Because I won't let you do anything else." He said in a seemingly calm voice, yet for some reason, I was able to recognize the opposite. It shouldn't have had any effect on me, but it did.
,,You can't force me." Since rationality had long since was gone, my childish and obstinate part of me announced it would be better for it to take over.
It wouldn't surprise me if I put my hands over my ears to block out his voice.
,,There's no reason for me to do what you want just because you decided to..." With every passing word, the slight smirk on Su-Jin's lips that happened so suddenly made my voice grow more uncertain.
,,I mean it." Finally, my confidence improved as I added.
In a matter of seconds, he walked out of the front door, leaving me stunned.
Afterward, I returned to the hallway along with an expression on my face that was trying to hide my initial shock to retrieve my luggage, which was still lying there. At the same time, I seeked to occupy my mind with everything except the last few minutes that took place. It wasn't to my liking how Su-Jin's presence in my life always left me confused.
Then I was mulling over the need to call my mom, but the more I thought about it, the less of a good idea it seemed. Ignorance became the most tempting solution at that moment.
It was also nerve-wracking for me to leave Sphynxie in Aurora's hands, but I couldn't change my mind anymore. Perhaps I felt better because Sang-Hoon would be more than likely there with her, of whose responsibility I was more convinced than of my friend's.
,,Hey, Millie." His voice could be heard from behind me however I didn't get a chance to turn to face him.
The abrupt jerk that brought my wrists together behind my back startled me so much that I remained motionless until there was a ripping sound of duct tape and I couldn't move my arms.
,,You have to be ki-" My attempt to finish the sentence was interrupted the moment Su-Jin's figure appeared right in front of me and my lips were in an instant pressed by something thick and sticky.
With wide eyes, I focused on his expression, which shows only seriousness. This couldn't be.
,,Like I said, you'll listen. And if it's meant to be specifically this way, so be it."
All at once he was standing so close to me that the toes of his sneakers were touching my shoes and his hands reached up to my face where he pushed the front strands of my hair away. Then his palms dropped under my jaw, fixing it so I had no view of anything but his eyes.
The current situation we were in was so ridiculous that it made me want to cry. I just wasn't sure if it was from anger or embarrassment. Then there was this strong urge to rip my hands out of that tape, grab on his hair and cause him as much confusion and pain as he did me.
,,You'll not vanish from my life and I'll not vanish from that of yours. No matter how hard you try." His voice was low but very clear. ,,That's a fact I need you to understand."
The effect of his words mingled with the uncomfortable sensation emanating from my bound hands behind my back and lips that were starting to itch from the direct contact of the glue on the tape.
,,So, either I carry you over there to that couch or you go by yourself." He carried on.
I was aware of his treating me like a child and that was what kept my ego from letting go of its obstinacy.
Of course I wanted to hear it. Yet I also resisted going back to what did take place that night for fear of altering my view of him completely.
As of now, it hasn't happened for some reason.
,,Alright then." Was the only thing I registered before I was lifted up by my knees and a moment later found myself hanging upside down from his shoulder.
Nevertheless, no sound or word came out of me. In silence, I allowed myself to be carried to the aforementioned couch, where he subsequently sat me down and then he himself found a place in the opposite corner.
The expression on my face must have shown much more than I expected because the corners of his lips lifted in amusement as he looked into my eyes.
For some time we were left staring at each other until a loud knock was heard.
I grabbed the opportunity and stood up rapidly. But only then did I realize that in the state I was in with the duct tape, it wouldn't be best to show up on the doorstep.
It looked like Su-Jin thought the same thing and therefore he took a few steps back to me and within seconds I finally had my hands free. But when his rough fingers moved to the piece of tape on my mouth, my breath got caught.
After he peeled it off very gently, he ran his fingertips over my lips with some pressure to catch the remaining glue.
The feeling of his warmth touching me with such intensity anchored deep in my stomach while his signature scent permeated all my senses.
I was like scalded.
We both flinched slightly when the knocking sounded again, but with greater acuity.
Apart from that, Su-Jin didn't seem affected at all. His position remained unchanged. Just a few strands fell into his face as he bent over.
The feel of his lips on mine paralyzed me as it happened so incredibly fast. There was no sequence or slowness to it. One moment his face was inches away from mine with no sign of any movement, and the next he was so close to me that I could detect the taste of bitter coffee that I definitely wasn't drinking.
Both of his hands were buried in my hair on the sides of my head giving him full access to my face and his torso was pressed close to mine.
And then it was all gone. So does he. The whole this only lasted a split second until I was overwhelmed by the feeling of wanting more. But that's when the ringing in my ears slowly started to fade away and was replaced by a loud incessant knocking.
While I stood there idly in the middle of the room, Su-Jin moved to the door, which he opened to reveal two people standing behind it.
Thereat my gaze fell on a tiny little girl with watery eyes and red cheeks with dried tears.