So yes, even though I may not really want to, I need that moment of silence to clean up all the mess in me.
I repeated the sentence in my head to make sure it sounded the way I wanted it to.
The problem was that I didn't fully understand what I meant myself either.
My gaze then shifted away from him. So did my whole body while my head gave him slight nod, a sign that I didn't need any answer from him.
Once I was safely turned away, I squeezed my eyelids tightly together at the sudden discomfort in the pit of my stomach. I also found my lips firmly pressed together in the same context. With my fingers, I touched the wrinkle that had formed between my eyebrows and then flattened my palm against it.
Through the window, I perceived the beginning rays of sunrise, which at least gave me an approximate time frame in which we were.
,,You're so blind sometimes, Millie."
I unconsciously stopped in my gait in surprise that he actually responded, which I honestly did not expect.
In spite of not feeling offended by his words, I turned back to him with an objection on my tongue.
,,I was overlooking it with a lot of patience." He spoke before I could, while I noticed the lazy steps he was taking to slowly approach me.
,,But I'll drop that just for your single word." Su-Jin kept his pace until he was standing right in front of me, not even a few inches away.
Having a little idea where this might lead, I felt a sudden bashfulness that forced me to move back a bit.
,,You should stop backing up-"
His warning tone may have sounded somewhere in the back of my head, but it only reinforced my coward reflex. And so, as I abruptly turned, my knees hit the side arm of the old couch, and the next moment I had my face pressed into the gap between cushions tops.
A deep chuckle was heard nearby.
Resignedly, I rolled onto my back with my legs bent and hanging loosely from the couch.
After brushing all the hair away from my face, I raised myself up on my elbows - at the same moment that Su-Jin's hands leaned into the same arm panel that my calves were resting on and so we found ourselves literally face to face.
,,Now…" He leaned even closer to me. ,, Let me fix your first kiss."
I perceived his simple words too much, which didn't help my nerves to return to their original, safe state.
I could think about anything at the time and the only thing was my position, which definitely did not seem suitable for what Su-Jin was implying and so my sudden burst of confidence had now completely disappeared.
,,I just fell flat on my face int-"
,,Silence." That was what I caught before his lips pressed firmly yet softly against my lower lip in a slow kiss.
Suddenly, I remembered our first and last hug.
Despite the events that have occurred from then to now, it gave me a similar burst of comfort and easiness.
My elbows were still pressed into the not-so-pleasant material and my head was slightly tilted back. Su-Jin was meanwhile leaning against the back pillows with one hand while the other was supporting his weight beside my calves.
However, as soon as his lips began to move lazily against mine, I pulled away so that our noses were almost touching.
Seeing his eyes made me realize how lost I was.
My mind was blank as to what to do, how to... cooperate. I would be lying if I said that I never thought about what it was like and what actually happens when kissing, but now I was overcome with concern.
The last thing I wanted to do was get into a situation that would make me or he uncomfortable.
Only then did I notice that he was no longer in the same position. Whilst I was still in a semi-lying pose, Su-Jin was already sitting close to my right side.
It wasn't until my eyes found his again that I realized he had been waiting.
And so all this overthinking was put to the back burner. I pressed my hands more into the cushion and with that I leisurely shifted my body into a sitting position. By doing so, I forced Su-Jin to lean back from his slight forward bend in sync with my movement.
Loose strands of hair that had come undone from my hairstyle hung along my face.
Su-Jin maintained eye contact and without any other gesture to influence my next steps, he remained sitting motionless.
Cupping his jaw with both hands, I brought my face closer to him, my gaze always fixed on his.
Without making any excuses to myself or anyone else, I fluttered my eyes shut and let all thoughts leave me as I kissed him.
There was an instant reaction from him.
One of his hands sneaked around my thighs and with one simple pull I reached his lap. I spontaneously wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my fingers in his dark, silky-feeling hair.
In order for him to fully attain my mouth, he had to tilt his head and stretch his neck. Meanwhile I dipped my chin and thus created a barrier of my hair around us.
The moan that came out of him resonated through my body as he grabbed the back of my neck and pressed me deeper into him. With his other hand, Su-Jin brushed my hair from one side of my face and continued to smoothly move his lips against mine.
I jerked when thunder reverberated through the room, which was closely followed by a sudden downpour. Wind blew raindrops against the windows as the lingering silence was filled with noise.
,,Don't stop, flower." His voice became rawer as he reached for my chin. Another eruption of butterflies in my stomach occurred right after those words.
,,Flower." I repeated out loud after this one word had run through my head several times already.
What was to come sank into my bones before he spoke. ,,Delicate, beautiful, fragile. I'm still afraid of plucking you from your floral garden, but at the same time it is certain that you were given to me as a gift."
My emotions swung from surprise to uncertainty until finally my heart burned with an unfamiliar feeling so that warmth spread throughout my ribcage.
However, before I could react in any way, I heard a faint creak of the door followed by the soft tapping of tiny feet. Before long, we caught sight of a sleepy Ma-Ri rubbing her eyes, which gave me the way to move away from Su-Jin and so in a few seconds I was sitting on the other side of the couch. The sound of the incessant rain began to make its way from the background to the forefront of my mind, while I kept mulling over what had just happened between us.
When I put my palm to my cheek, I realized how hot it was. There was no sign of the chill that surrounded me until recently.
,,I'll take her to my place so you can get some proper rest." I was pulled out of my thoughts by Su-Jin, to whom I raised my face and noticed that he was holding his sister's small hand in his palm.
After my nod, he looked at me once more before they both turned to leave. As soon as I heard the front door click, only then did I allow myself to take a deep breath and exhale.
Then, as I lay in the comfort of a thick quilt with my eyes closed and on the verge of sleep, I became less and less convinced that today was real. But since I hardly slept for more than twenty-four hours, in a few moments I was already engulfed in a deep sleep.
The loud ringing of my phone was so ear-wrenching that in a fraction of a second I heard a dull thump, which was the result of my sudden hand movement. The next moment I opened my eyes anyway, but I closed them right away because of the blinding sunlight. I reached blindly to the ground, from where the ringing could still be heard. When I peeked at the lockscreen with one eye, the numbers showed late afternoon. I frowned and then my gaze fell on the many notifications of missed calls and unread messages. That's when the phone finally stopped making that unpleasant sound and the unknown number was moved among the other notifications.
,,Miss Martin, I would recommend that you call me as soon as possible. Prosecutor Geum." That's what the message from the same number that called me said.
After unlocking the screen, I found the icon with this number with my finger. Then I just held my phone to my ear while the regular beeps sounded.
It didn't even last a few seconds and a curt greeting came from the other end of the line. ,,Miss Martin."
,,Prosecutor Geum." I returned his words. ,,Is something wrong?"
,,I'm afraid so. You will be moved again."
There was a short silence, as if this should be enough for me to understand the situation.
The rustling of papers over the loudspeaker overtook his voice. ,,There was a key twist in the case. Mr. Nahm was already detained based on the statement of the third culprit."
There was sharp inhale from me.
,,Since you were housed in one and the same building, you have to be moved due to imminent danger."
I went back a few hours in my thoughts. What danger was there for me? What happened in that court?
,,Are you still there miss?"
,,Yes, yes ... I am. Please continue." I hastened to answer. Suddenly all sleepiness left me.
,,The evidence showed that the whole plan was concocted by Mr. Nahm. Also, the deceased Dr. Yun was supposed to be killed on his very orders." His tone was laced with professionalism. I couldn't connect what he was saying to the man in whose arms I was last night.
My breath caught somewhere in my throat this time. ,,Why would he do such a thing?"
,,Unfortunately, this information is not within my competence to expand further."
,,So why am I still involved? I... I don't understand how-"
He cut me off before I could finish my sentence. ,,Miss Martin, you're still the main witness so to speak, your statement may or may not change much. It is necessary to keep you in as neutral an ambience as possible until the next trial. There is a possibility that someone would try to-"
,,Manipulate me." I finished for him. It all started to get to me. All the tangled strings began to gradually unravel and the world around me slowly began to spin.
The prosecutor's voice was coming to me in the background. ,,This word can also be used, yes."
,From now on I don't want my sister around you.´
,The example you give is wrong.´
And then suddenly came the change. A change that gripped my heart more than the ugly words left in my mind. Something that all of a sudden overturned my train of thought.
,If you think I'm gonna let you go, love, you're so wrong.´
,Flower. Delicate, beautiful, fragile. I'm still afraid of plucking you from your floral garden, but at the same time it is certain that you were given to me as a gift.´
These words and much more were not only in my mind, but in every cell of my body, convincing me to believe only them.
I already trusted many people, many called me naive and some were worth trusting. Many times I tried to create a compromise between my mind and my heart, and now I gave the main word to the organ that was pounding hard in my chest.
And it told me that Su-Jin was more than worthy of my trust.
I needed to see him as soon as possible. He needed to know I trusted him and was on his side. Maybe it was the wrong decision, but at that moment it felt like the rightest thing I could have done and that's why determination ignited in me so much that I could feel the fire even in my toes.