WARNING: little bit of smut in this chapter; nothing super graphic or crazy, but just FYI!
I sighed, taking a long sip of my can as Helena and I sat on the porch swing on the front deck. I slowly rocked my legs back and forth, feeling the cool nighttime air blow through my hair and breeze past my cheeks. The fresh air felt good, slightly relieving the heat and pressure I felt in my chest.
"Obviously, I don't have feelings yet for him or anything," I explained to Helena. "But I dunno, that just sucks. It does feel like a betrayal, even if I only knew the kid for 24 hours!" Helena rested her hand on my knee comfortingly.
"I get it, Cass. You're valid," she reassured. "And it was your first... anything, really... with a guy, so obviously it's exciting and you're all full of hope. But sister, I've learned to hope for the best and always expect the worst. Prepare for it, it makes the disappointment a bit easier. And trust me, men will always disappoint you."
"I know," I sighed, finishing my can in two swift gulps. "He just sucks. I wish you could've heard the way he was talking to me in the lake. That guy, and the guy fucking smirking at me in the bathroom, are two completely different people, I swear it." I groaned in frustration but accepted the defeat. Time to move on.
"Well, listen girl, he can suck it. We're drunk, you're hot, and we can have fun without stupid ass men," Helena reassured me. She jumped up and grabbed my hand, leading me back inside the front door. There was a lot more people now, none of whom were familiar to me, but the room was much hotter and crowded, people now dancing in the open living room space to the music that seemed to have gotten much louder. My vision was blurred at this point from the alcohol: the only familiar faces I could make out were Brendan, stretched out on the loveseat in the corner and Colton behind the kitchen counter, turned upside down doing a keg stand with Jade holding his feet up in place.
I stood in the crowd of dancing people, awkwardly swaying from side to side. Helena grabbed my hand, energizing me a bit more and forcing me to dance in tune with her. I noticed that "Dancing Queen" by ABBA was blasting over the speakers, a song I loved dearly. I threw my arms up and swayed my hips back and forth a bit, really feeling myself and living in the moment. The people next to me were all singing off-key to the music, but it was such a beautiful experience. I felt so connected to my life, my soul, to Helena - my instant best friend, even to the random strangers surrounding me. We all sang along to ABBA together, all of our souls and life paths intertwining, all life decisions leading us, leading me, to this very exact blissful moment.
As I thoughtlessly swayed my hips along, I felt a large palm wrap around my waist, a warm body pressing up against mine from behind. For a moment I was taken aback, but I was so into this moment, I didn't even think to look back at who it was. I continued dancing, my body now swaying in sync with the unknown entity behind me, my ass pressed up against their crotch. I looked at Helena with a raised eyebrow, but she smiled excitedly back at me. Well, it must not be Eddie, considering he's on her shit list now.
The alcohol and adrenaline took over my body and I turned to face none other than Mark, his hands now lightly gripping both of my hips. He smiled, biting his bottom lip with his perfectly aligned white teeth. I danced a bit longer with him, returning his lustful gaze, until he leaned closer and spoke lowly into my ear, "What you tryna do?" Despite my minimal social experience, I knew exactly what this meant. And to be honest, I didn't exactly know the answer to his question. I wasn't totally against the idea of getting a little intimate with him, but shit, two in one day? That wasn't like me. But then again, did I really like the old me? I couldn't lie to myself: I loved the new me.
I didn't have any more time to think as Mark grabbed my hand and dragged me through the crowd. As I passed through, I locked eyes with Eddie across the room. He was standing with a boy, the girl from earlier nowhere to be seen. It felt like I was moving in slow motion under Eddie's watchful gaze. He watched as I walked hand-in-hand with Mark, not breaking eye contact. I couldn't read the expression on his face, but I hope he felt even a pang of the jealousy I felt just 30 minutes prior.
Mark led me to the bathroom - the same bathroom that slightly traumatized me earlier. I immediately felt a bit uneasy, the excited adrenaline slowly morphing into anxiety and restlessness. I couldn't get Eddie out of my mind. I swallowed my fear as Mark closed the door behind me and locked the door, pressing his back against the wall and looking at me expectantly.
I only did what I knew - leaned forward and kissed him, wrapping my hands around his neck. To my shock, he recoiled and lightly removed my grip. He reached down to his belt and hastily unbuckled it, unzipping his fly that sat right below it. I sat there like a deer in headlights. "What?" was all I could choke out.
"I'm not all down with that kissing shit," he casually responded. "But if you wanna suck me off, then we can talk." He had a smirk on his face, the one that I earlier found sexy but was now completely repulsed by. He began reaching his hand in his pants, grabbing his penis underneath his boxers. It was not hot in the slightest - I was quite literally disgusted, and made sure it showed on my face.
"Jesus Christ," I uttered. "No, definitely not. Now please move." I didn't give him the chance to respond, I just reached past him, shoving him to the side, and unlocking the door handle. I stormed out of the bathroom and directly out the back door. I didn't even look for Helena in the crowd. I just wanted to be alone. My unstoppable energy, my beautiful night, the new me: it was all gone at this point.
I audibly sighed and sat at the edge of Colton's deck, gazing out at the bright stars. Finally, a moment of quiet.