I had perpetual butterflies in my stomach leading up to the next weekend. I had no contact with Eddie over the week - I didn't even have his phone number. Whatever we were doing was a mystery to me, a surprise. I didn't like it one bit: my inner control-freak liked to plan everything out to the very last detail. Where would we go? Would it be romantic? Casual? What's the dress code? Would I like it?
When we arrived at Bell Lake Meadows on Friday afternoon, Helena was already sat on our porch steps waiting for my arrival. She followed me inside, plopping down on my bed and looking at me expectantly. "Well?" she asked me, wide-eyed.
"Well," I responded. "I'm shitting my pants with nerves! I've never been on a date… ever!" I began pacing around my room, frantically digging through my closet and drawers for something to wear. "I mean, what the hell do I wear?"
"Something cute but casual. Maybe a sundress?" Helena suggested. I sighed and combed through the dresses hanging in my closet. I pulled out a simple, cotton, sage-green sundress. It had a halter top that came up high on my neck, but an oval cut out on my cleavage line to accentuate my breasts. It was a bit tight around my waist, making me slightly self conscious, but flowed out at my hips. Helena smiled at me as I threw it on, then began digging through my jewelry box.
"This is definitely a gold moment," she stated as she handed me a layered gold necklace with small amethyst stones strung about and a simple pair of gold hoop earrings. "And amethyst! It's perfect - it'll relieve your anxiety." I smiled at Helena, a die-hard believer in crystals and their apparent effects on the human body. Although I didn't believe and simply admired them for their beauty, I allowed her to have her moment.
I sprayed my curly hair with sea-salt spray, rejuvenating it and solidifying the auburn ringlets that framed my face. I allowed Helena to do my makeup: thin cat-eyeliner, mauve gloss, feathered eyebrows, and a hint of rosy blush atop the apples of my cheeks. I looked in the mirror and smiled: I felt beautiful, irresistible, confident. This was a feeling I had only ever felt in my few weeks at Bell Lake, and goddamn it was amazing. "I think I found my spark, Helena," I called over my shoulder to her. I watched as she grinned excitedly in the mirror, looking at me expectantly. "I think it's self-love," I stated simply.
"Well thank God yours is much healthier than mine!" she teased.
*****
Eddie picked me up around 6:30 in an old, beat up black Nissan. My mom looked at me inquisitively as I made my way outside: it was then I realized I hadn't even told her about the date, let alone about Eddie, period. "I'm uh… going on a date?" I told my mom, worried about her reaction. She pondered for a moment, darting her eyes between the beater of a car out front, Helena, and myself.
"A date, huh? With who?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh, uh… just one of our friends, Eddie," I responded as casually as possible.
"Don't worry, Mrs. Cass. I've known Eddie for years - he's safe enough," Helena attempted to reassure my mother, but definitely made it much worse. My mom stood there in the sunroom, speechless. The expression on her face was difficult to read, and I was worried she'd instruct me to stay in the neighborhood.
"I charged my phone 100%, and I won't go far, I promise," I reassured her. She sighed and shrugged.
"Alright, Cass, I trust you. Be safe and please, for the love of God, do not have sex." I gasped shockingly at the statement that came from my mother's mouth.
"Jesus, mom. I'm not!" I whined like the embarrassed child I was. I gave my mom a kiss on the cheek, and walked out with Helena toward Eddie's car. He got out as soon as he saw us, gazing at me with that smug look of his, studying me as he moved toward the passenger side and opened the car door.
"Wow, what a gentleman!" Helena quipped sarcastically.
"Only the best for your girlfriend," Eddie quipped back, a smirk on his pink lips. I studied him: he wore a pair of beige cotton shorts that sat right above his kneecaps, a black and beige color-block button up shirt, and a black snapback that sat backwards on his head. He looked strikingly handsome, his tanned biceps and toned thighs visible and extending from his sleeves and shorts. I felt such an insatiable hunger for him, his touch, his affection, his infectious laugh. I attempted to keep my cool and climbed into the passenger seat. He closed the door behind me and Helena poked her head through the open window, grinning at me excitedly.
"Have fun, and please promise me we can hangout when you guys get back? I'm going to be lonely without my two favorite people," she whined like a lost puppy. I rolled my eyes and Eddie chuckled.
"Yes, Helena, we can hangout. We'll text you when we're on our way back," Eddie reassured. She nodded and secretively pinched my arm before walking down the path toward her house. I watched as Eddie navigated through the neighborhood and exited the gate. Slowly, the houses and signs of civilization became more sparse and the cedar trees more thick.
"So where are you taking me?" I asked him, slightly nervous. He smiled softly and looked over at me for a brief moment.
"Somewhere you will love," he reassured me, wrapping his warm palm around my left thigh. I felt my skin raise with goosebumps under his touch.
"And how do you know I'll love it?" I asked, studying the beautiful scenery of the forest out my window.
"Because I know you, remember?" he retorted. We only drove for about 10 minutes before he drove down a dirt path off the side of the road. Ahead, I could see a mostly-open field, with lush strawberry bushes poking out of the ground sporadically. The sun had just begun to set, glowing apricot-orange and sitting low on the horizon. The sky was breathtaking that evening - fluffy white clouds embraced by colorful swirls of fuschia and cerulean hues. At the back perimeter of the field sat a thick line of giant towering pine trees, filling the air with the scent of crisp pine needles and sweet sap. The grass in the field grew thick and tall, a cushion underneath my feet. Crickets chirped in the background, a beautiful reminder that the forest was full of life: the sweet strawberries growing on tangled vines, the squirrels and whippoorwills perched atop the trees, the thick grass tickling my ankles, the pine trees exhaling the very air I breathe. I wasn't the only one that felt alive at this moment.
Eddie parked the car and I got out, staring at the beautiful landscape ahead of me. I was completely captivated and giddy with excitement. Eddie pulled out a tweed basket from the trunk of his car, watching me with a smile as I took in the sights around us. "I told you you'd love it," he stated, grabbing my hand and leading me into the field. As we walked, I brushed my fingertips along the soft leaves on the strawberry bushes. He came to a stop in an open space and pulled a flowered quilt from the basket, spreading it across the grass that was already soft enough to sit on, providing an extra layer of soft cushioning. He sat down, extending his hand for me to follow suit. I sat across from him, completely enamored by his thoughtfulness and the beauty around us.
From the basket, he pulled out a tin-foil wrapped plate of cheese and crackers and ham sandwiches, as well as a bottle of champagne. He effortlessly popped the cork and handed the bottle to me, simply stating: "Ladies first."