Jihha
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I have always wondered how certain aspects of afterlife would look like but there are not many pleasant ones that I have thought about. I always imagined how angels may be there, waiting for you to come so they can evaluate you and send you to your final destination accordingly or how the next sight you would see when you wake up would be either white bliss or red inferno. But never in my wildest dreams I thought that afterlife would have the same celling like my room's. I am dead right?
"no, you are luckily not!". I immediately got up which resulted as a failed attempt with currents of pain flowing through my body. I winced in pain before looking at the figure, knowing damn well who it was. ".....yeah..I am not dead! I believe it!" I spoke while trying to find any comfortable spot.
Luka sat in front of me in a black turtleneck and black jeans, having his arms crossed across his chest as his wide shoulder to lean muscles ration flexed...damn. "that was fast!" he remarked in a polite tone before voluntarily moving forward and adjusting my pillows for me. I semi sat up by taking support from his forearm and the feel of his build was just so....hot. I looked up at him as he was adjusting the pillows and covers around me; there was a total difference of half a foot ,maybe, in between us. For a split second, my gazed danced on his before he pulled away, taking his warmth with him.
I cleared my throat and spoke, "I believed the fact that I did not die because of two reasons!". He poured a glass of water, which I thought was for me, and drank it while humming for me to continue. I have no idea why that angered me slightly. He set the glass on the table and looked back at me while leaning against the wall, "well then, what are those reasons human?"
"Number 1, if I died, then it was heaven where you are not allowed! Number 2, if I died and you were in hell, I still would have never ended up there!" I exclaimed and he just kept nodding. "good theory my human!". I just stared at him, trying to make any sense of the war of words in my head to actually convey what I wanted to inquire. He took a sigh and spoke, "Ask away! your curiosity won't let you live."
"Was it really not you?" I asked, more like blurted out, while being hesitant and anxious regarding the fact that this conversation can go completely wrong. "....I am not pinning anything on you but I just wanted-"
"I do not blame you for thinking that I may have been the aggressor. Believe me on this one, human. I was actually looking for you and grew worried when you were not here." he responded as he ran his hand through his hair. I, strangely, do believe him. But then if it was not his doings then what may have happened? "human? Were you facing any dizziness ever since you had those powers. Like ever since you developed them?"
I nodded softly and closed my eyes when another pang of blurriness took over me. I blinked a few times to get my vision cleared. "Look my little human, and listen carefully! A human body can not simply absorb a great deal of power within a matter of hours or anything. Rather than that, it may even decay one without their power jewel." was it bad that whatever he said almost flew over my head. I guess he picked up my blank mindedness and sighed before grabbing my shoulders and pushing my back on to the mattress and pulling the covers over me.
Although one of his hands did remain on my shoulder and which each passing second, its weight seemed like increasing. He looked like he wanted to kill me and as well as take care of me. He let go of my shoulder with a slight push and without uttering a single word, he turned the light off and closed the door behind him after he left the room. It was again me and my daily companions now; me, darkness and loneliness. Yet, I did not feel alone today. I tried to tell myself that he must have gone back to his 'home' but my gut feelings never lied to me before. And right now they were telling me that he is staying here and he is outside. I may also have been paranoid but I swear I was able to feel his presence. Great! What a night! Peace during the day? WHAT IS THAT?!?
Peace during the night? NEVER HEARD OF HER!?!?!
And yet still I was here, shifting in my bed uncomfortably while body did ache but a little less. After some time, I was sure that he actually left now. My gaze shifted to the vast celling above me and I finally let my locked emotions escape. I am grateful for what I have or what I am but why does every single pleasant thing in my life have a heavy price, for me to pay? How did I end up like this? How come everything was going way well than I could have ever imagined and now? Every single thing is a mess. The woman who only followed logic is now entrapped between 'celestial' world and real word. How come I was thriving at life, finally moving past the monstrosity I experienced. But now....it all came back in the most worse ways possible. Will I ever have some real happiness or am I destined to be completely petty and distressed? If I am being honest, I always felt like a failure. A girl who was and is epitome of lowliness and will always remain like-
"Don't think that much negative." I immediately snapped out of my series of thoughts and looked towards the source of the voice. He stood in the doorframe with an unreadable expression. His hands were in his pocket as he stood up straight and moved in my direction lazily. " you were never low or failure, believe me if you can. This is life, human life I mean."
"I thought you left"
"I did, but felt really uneasy so I came back!" he replied as he turned a dim light on and sat on my bed, across me, where my legs were. I was confused and glad at the same time. I wanted to ask him why did he feel uneasy but it was like as if I already knew but was unable to pinpoint it. "...humans are helpless, aren't they?" I asked in a whisper.
His response was just a silent hum as the mattress sank under him. He was not sparing me even a gaze, he was looking at the far corner of the room, totally zoned out, "feeling like a failure would not do any good, it will just make you feel less and inferior. You will constantly hate yourself and would hate anyone who would resemble you in the tiniest bit! Why? because when you will see them with your personality traits, you will not see them like you see yourself. Instead you would feel even more inferior because knowingly or unknowingly your gut will tell you that your insecurity or complexes are wrong as THAT person would be the example and proof of it. But since you won't be able to move past your own complexes, or ego, anyone similar to your would be hated by you because their traits will be acceptable but your own would be..."
"....huge defaults?". All I got was a nod. Luka zoned back in and all I was able to comprehend was that all of what he said was not for me but for himself. "Why were you looking for me?" I finally inquired, trying to change the gloomy atmosphere. He shifted his gaze on me and hesitated for a moment before speaking, "I wanted an apology! You were not here when I came so I tracked you and...."
"and?" I scoffed slightly while teasingly dragging the work. That was not the answer I wanted. He is so full of himself and....what he said after chucking at my 'annnnnnnnd', was also not what I was expecting.....
"I found you in the worst state I could have ever imagined." There was a small crack in his voice before his expression flickered a little. I hated his presence or him, I think, but seeing him like this was....torturous.... " I swear this morning I was a mere moment away from ending you but I couldn't. Didn't understand why at that time but when I did found you in that horrible state, I was scared...like..."
"but hey! nothing happened and-"
"Just forget this and don't mind this, my human." he broke in my sentence and I was not able to collect the meaning of those words, when he shifted, his touch on my jaw became warm when his lips landed on mine. A soft press that let butterflies erupt through my stomach. His hold, his grip and the moment, was slow and soft. It was as if even with the slightest pressure, one of us will break into peices. I wanted to pull back but the sweet taste and warmth corrupted my initial thoughts and I found myself, sliding my hand on his shoulder for grip as well. I hated him! I really really REALLY loathed him! But then why I....
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why can't I.....
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remember the details?