He kept delaying and it was starting to worry me. I do not know what to do. I do not know any other ways to convince him to stay away from the city. As I walk around to ease my anxiety, I couldn't help but wonder why I want to save him so badly, and if I were to succeed, what will I do then?
The emerald ring became heavy with its meaning. Am I willing to carry on the arrangement I have already agreed to even when my heart is not in it?
I'm suddenly torn. Should I still save him? Should I let things happen? Deep down, I knew I wouldn't be able to bring myself to marry Giuliano, not when my heart already belonged to another.
Though I do not love him, Giuliano does not deserve to die and I cannot allow myself to stand by and do nothing when I can do something.
Determined, I decided to go to the bank to talk to him. I kept pacing in the room as I wait for him. I haven't been feeling well from all the stress and anxiety I have been putting myself into and now, my belly starts to ache.
I started to rub my belly in the hopes that it will miraculously alleviate the pain. When Giuliano came inside, I was suddenly distracted by the pain. "Is everything alright?" He asks then notices my hand rubbing my belly. "Is something wrong with our child?"
I shake my head no and walk towards him. "A little. I have been feeling quite odd lately." I said, admitting the truth to him.
His face now full of concern, cups my belly and spoke, "We should get you a physician to attend to you then."
"No, Giuliano. It just doesn't feel right after the interrogation." I said, looking down. "I just wanted to be away for a while." When I look back up, he is intently looking into my eyes, eager to listen to me. "Just you and me."
He brings his other hand to my face and caresses my cheek as he smiles. "Alright. If that's what you wish."
Relief washed over me, and I couldn't help but hug him tight. "Thank you."
He hugs me back, kisses the top of my head, and spoke. "I wish you would have told me sooner about how you feel. I would have agreed to it the first time you ask."
Smiling as I lay my head on his chest, I could not help but be a little happy. I see a greater chance of him surviving than yesterday.
"I heard this absurd notion of you leaving with my son," Lucrezia said as I pack my things in my room.
"You need not worry. We are going away for a few months before... we get married." I said, lying by the end. I continue to busy myself with preparing as Lucrezia stood in the middle of the room, fuming over our plans she did not expect.
"How convenient. Why must you leave when lent is upon us?"
I wanted to tell her why so bad but I have already messed up so much of history. Telling her the reason why we had to leave will only become another ammunition for her to accuse me of something and quite possibly she'll succeed.
I don't want to end up being burned at a stake for trying to save his son's life. The best way right now is to keep this between me and Botticelli. I have to think of something to get her off of my back.
"Forgive me, but just like you, I'm doing the best thing for my child and after you have managed to have me interrogated for witchcraft, I fear almost anything in this city," I said as my back is still facing her. It's true, it does bother me about my experience in that tower. Kept in the darkness, not knowing if they believe me or if they will persecute me.
Questions upon questions with limited consumption of water and food and sleep-deprived. It is one of the scariest things a pregnant woman would face. It did not matter if it were only me, however, while I'm still carrying my child, I cannot let anything bad happen to him or her.
"You're going to be a mother soon. Think about how a mother would feel to be parted from her son." And with that, she left the room. Her words, despite their menacing tone, can feel it is somehow a promise or a warning. Either way, I couldn't bring myself to not be worried about what she'll do next.
As we are on our way, I saw Botticelli by the streets. His eyes began to follow the carriage. I don't know what he was thinking but looking at him as I pass by felt like a sting inside my chest. Not even a foreword or a goodbye.
The leaning tower of Pisa has been famous for centuries. Looking at it a century after its completion feels remarkable. A lot of people have always found the bell tower interesting because of its leaning state, hence the name but for me, it's the amazing architectural design that makes it beautiful.
The story about its construction is just as interesting as the edifice itself. The marbled foundation was the first to be built and was halted upon the ensuing battle against Genoa, Lucca, and Florence.
Astoundingly, the halted construction time has allowed the soil to settle. Aside from battles, the tower has also endured numerous earthquakes and yet they hardly damaged the tower.
"I can arrange for us to go inside if you so wish," Giuliano said as he stands next to me.
Still looking at the tower, I wonder if I dare go. "I'm not sure if I can," I said, as I rub my swelling belly. As I look at the tower, I cannot deny my curiosity. I have never been inside the tower before. Sighing, I spoke, "I'm sure the view would be breathtaking."
Giuliano turn to face me and held my hand to his before speaking. "If you want to be inside, I will help you." He said, smiling encouragingly at me. "Your pregnancy is not a disability. I will be with you every step of the way."
He's right. I have managed to go up in the cupola while pregnant, I don't understand my growing anxiety over the tower. Taking a deep breath, I nodded yes to him. "Alright. Just promise me to never let go."
His grin widens then brings my hand to his lips and softly plants a kiss on it and says, "I promise, I will never let go."
The promise was simple, yet tugs me at my very core. When we get inside, he kept my hands on his, securing them. He paces himself with me as we ascend the staircase. He would occasionally look over his shoulder and ask if I'm doing alright and these small actions have begun to warm up something in my chest.
When the staircase gets darker, the memory of the dark tower where I was locked up began to invade my head. My body would uncontrollably stiffen in fear. I push myself back to the marbled wall as I began to hyperventilate. "I'm sorry, it's too dark," I said as I close my eyes.
I felt Giuliano's hands cup my face as he begins to whisper gently to me. "It's alright, Antonia. I'm here."
I grab his arms in fear. "It's too dark," I repeated.
Trembling in fear, he began to envelop me with a warm embrace as he rubs my back. "You are not alone, Antonia. I'm here. I promise that I won't let go remember?"
Feeling his warmth, I began to remember the man that carried me out of the dark tower. I couldn't see him properly then, but I knew it was him. Slowly, I began to calm down. Feeling better, I said, "Don't let me go please."
"I haven't so far. I doubt that I could." He said. Believing him, I nodded my head yes. "How about this, talk to me about whatever subject you want to talk about as we continue, okay?"
"Okay," I said.
When we continue ascending, he began to speak. "What's on your mind, my love?"
Desperate to be distracted, I try to think of something random from the top of my head. "My father would tell me stories about Boudicca."
"Sounds interesting. Tell me more." He said in a soothing voice.
"She became famous because of her rebellion against the Romans despite losing. My father told me that the story of Boudicca is not of victory but hope. No one knew where she went after the war." I continued while my eyes are closed, deeply focused on what I'm saying. "Some say she killed herself, some say she was left in shock after her defeat. Either way, the famous woman has left a mystery not even her people know. I was always fascinated by her because of her bravery. I have always wanted to be as brave as her."
"But you are, la bella," Giuliano said. "Open your eyes, we have made it to the top."
True to his words, we made it without me noticing. His hand still clasping mine securely. "We did."
Just like in the cupola, the view of the tower is magnificent. My eyes can see the city before me as if they are on a miniature scale. The vibrant color of the roof filled the view and I could not contain my smile upon seeing such a landscape. "Such a sight."
Giuliano turns to me with a smile as he says, "Yes, beautiful."
When I turn to look back at him, his gentle eyes bored into mine with the sweetest smile. That's when I realize that he was not talking about the view but me. Giuliano has always had a way of flattering me or catching me off guard and at the moment, my blood rushes to my cheeks as I smile coyly. "You flatter me still, Messer," I said as I look away.
He then turns my face back towards him with his forefinger and thumb, forcing me to look back at him again. When I did, he tucks some of my hair behind my ear and says, "No flattery. Just the truth." Suddenly, I felt him leaning closer to me. Knowing that he'll kiss me, I felt no hesitation like I used to. When his lips landed on mine, I found myself kissing him back.
It has been a beautiful week so far. Giuliano has been extremely patient, protective, and caring of me. It's something I have not felt in a long time. Not even Alec was able to make me feel like this before. With him by my side, I began to wonder how I was able to turn him down all those times before. As I lay in bed, I found myself rubbing my belly.
It became a habit recently. I could not hold my baby just yet but rubbing my belly feels as if it's the closest way to do so for now. When Giuliano came into the room, his eyes automatically went to my exposed belly. I forget that this is the first time he has seen my belly without my clothes.
He walks toward me and sat by the edge of the bed as he cups my belly. "Do you think our son can hear us?"
I chuckle at his question. "Son? You seem certain of the gender of our baby."
He smiled proudly and said, "Why of course! I can feel it in my bones."
Strange how his words and actions since his knowledge of my pregnancy began to make me feel so much warmth and relief. He has been making me feel warm inside my heart and with every passing of time, it started to grow more and more. "Yes, our son could hear you."
He lowers his head and began to speak towards our child while still supping my belly. "Well, my son I hope you would not make so much fuss in there. Please do not cause pain to your lovely mother. Although I cannot wait to see you. Be strong my son." He then looks up at me with a loving smile then continued. "We love you."
I do not know whether it was directed to our child or me, either way, my heart began to palpitate in such a way that only I knew what it could mean. I think I love you too, Giuliano.
Overwhelmed by my feelings, I pull him closer to me and kiss him passionately. When he kisses me back, I can only think of one thing. I didn't want him to die.
Standing by the window, Pisa has offered me a better view than I thought I could only see in Florence. Just the sight of the city makes me feel elated. Giuliano snakes his arm around me and my belly as he leans his chin on my shoulder. "Good morning, fiance."
I smile upon hearing his voice. "Good morning."
"I was thinking this morning and wondered, why wait for a few months for our wedding? Why can't we just married already?"
Taken aback by the news, I turn around to face him with a confused look. "Are you saying we should marry right away?"
He nodded his head as he grins. "Yes."
"When?" I said smile started to creep up on my face.
"Today."
Caught in the moment, my mind became single-minded. I found myself grinning widely as I nodded. "Yes, that would be lovely."
Before we could celebrate any longer, a knock interrupted both of us. "Come in," Giuliano said. The chambermaid came in to give him a letter. Giuliano's brows crease upon seeing his family's seal on the letter.
When the chambermaid was out of the room, he proceeded in breaking the seal and opening it. His mouth partially opened upon reading it. When he looked up, I can already tell that the letter bears urgent from Florence. "It's my mother. We need to go back."
No. Please. If we go back, he might die. It's only the 24th of April, Easter would not be for another 2 days, it's still too early! I felt my body going limp in fear. Please God, help us.