It's been so long since I felt this feeling. Weightlessness and inability to have a sense of direction. Suddenly, gravity pulls me down and I fell onto the grassy ground. I'm winded. It's as if someone took the air away from my lungs.
It took a few seconds to catch myself and be able to get up. When I look around, I noticed a ruined house. The wood and stones used in the house were darkened, evidence of fire, and the massive hole on the roof suggests that something must have fallen from the sky.
I stood up to inspect it. The house is now far from distinction. When I turn around, I saw something familiar. I rush towards it to see if my suspicions are correct. The mailbox is filled with dust and dirt.
When I wipe it off, I saw the name Sutton on it. It's my father's house. When I look back up at the destroyed house, my heart drops to my stomach. It was once a beautiful house that my father has acquired and now it's gone.
All the memories he kept and acquired suddenly turn to ashes. I remember the photographs on his walls were filled with our faces. His piano, and his library, were all burnt to a crisp.
A once lively home now stands broken and lifeless. If my heart would materialize, it most likely will look like this. I keep losing so much recently. I did not even manage to save anything.
The one thing my father loved about this place is that it is quite far from other residences. Now, as I walk wearing a medieval dress, I couldn't help but wish someone is living near him.
Knocking on the door from one of the residences feels silly. I don't know if they will take me seriously. I'm wearing a giornea and gamurra still and I don't know what I'll tell them if they ask.
When the door opens, Mrs. Woodsworth squints her eyes at me in confusion, Her brown hair starts to gray. "May I help you, dear?" She said. As she stares at my face, I smile at her. Somehow, my smile sparks something from her and her eyes widens in recognition. "Emma!" She immediately pulled me in for a hug. "Oh my, I'm so glad to finally see you again!"
Hugging her back, I felt a tug in my heart that makes me realize that apart from Uncle Thomas, I did have someone left. "It's been a while."
"4 years is a long while!" She said before she pulled away from the hug. "Come in!" She said. She opened the door wider for me to let me in. When I get inside, I borrowed her phone to call my uncle. I tried to push on the lingering curiosity in my head.
I have lived for 9 years in 15th-century Florence and yet, it's only 4 years since I got back. I couldn't help but wonder how and why.
In just a few rings, someone answers the phone, bringing me back to reality. "Hello, you've reached Mr. Sutton's office how may I help you?" A woman responded.
"Hello, this is Emma Sutton, I'm Thomas Sutton's niece. May I speak with him?" I asked. Part of me thinks that he might be busy as always but a part of me hopes he is free to talk to me.
"Just a moment." The longer I stayed, the more my hope vanishes when suddenly, I heard his voice. "Emma?"
Relief and happiness wash over my heart as soon as I hear his voice. It's been so long since I heard anything from him that my eyes began to water.
Today, I found out that it's September 7, 1946. The war ended and the Alliance won against Axis. The victory was attained at the cost of the many lives that have fallen. I'm back in London.
I didn't know why I was transported 4 years after I left when I stayed for 9 years in Florence. Just another mystery that the stone has yet to reveal.
Uncle Thomas sits across from me as we drink tea in a restaurant. It feels odd. To be surrounded by people from my time, especially when I didn't even think about coming back here in the first place.
"How is Alec?" I said as I sip my tea. I only have a few people I know from this country. Even though we ended in divorce, I would love to know how he and his wife are doing, considering he wed my cousin Elizabeth in the end.
"They still live in London. Alec is now an engineer and they now have 3 kids." Uncle said as he smiles at me. His green eyes searched for any hint of pain or uneasiness from the topic but found none.
"That's lovely. Elizabeth has always wanted 3 kids." I said, smiling at the thought.
"Something happened to you isn't it?" He said. I sip from my tea and avoid his eyes as he continues. "You have the same look Constantine had when he came home." The past 9 years rush into my mind. A lot has happened indeed. "You're married." He said, noticing the ruby ring I'm wearing.
"Yes, uncle. I did marry someone." I replied.
"Who is it?"
I smiled bitterly when I look up. "Father's favorite painter."
His jaw dropped at my answer. When he collects himself, he could not help but chuckle. "There's no record of him being married by anyone." He said.
Suddenly, I felt the need to know about history, especially around the time of the Renaissance. I need to know if I have royally messed things up. "Uncle, can we go? I need to be in a library."
"Um, alright."
When we get to the library, I told him everything that has happened to me. It took hours. He may have been used to this situation, where he listens to our adventures that the stone has opened for us. He patiently listened to my every word.
When I was done, it took him a while to speak as he reeled over what I just told him. "That's quite an ordeal, I dare say."
"It sure is," I said as I look out of the window.
"I can already tell you, nothing changed in history since you left. The way you remember history is the same as today." He said as he creases his brow.
"If there are no records of me in history, then it means he did what he threatened me back then," I said, remembering his words of Lorenzo before I left.
"You're saying that he erased every detail of your existence in Florence?"
I nodded. "I don't remember seeing any detail about Antonia Gorini."
He became silent all of a sudden, his brow creases even more as he was deep in thought. In a snap of a finger, he stood up from the chair and look for a certain book. When he got it, he quickly scans the pages until he found what he was looking for. He took the book and show it to me. "There is actually." He pointed at a record about Pope Clement VII. "Although it is said that your name is Fioretta or Antonia Gorini."
Pope Clement VII, also known as Giulio di Giuliano de Medici. Born on May 26, 1478. The parents are Giuliano de Medici and Fioretta Gorini.
"He became pope," I whisper as I read on. "I'm glad he turns out alright." I continued.
With a look of longing, I run my fingers on a portrait of Pope Clement VII. It appears he took after Giuliano. I wish I could have seen even a glimpse of him before I left. There are a number of questions inside my head. Does he know of me? Did Lorenzo show even a single portrait of myself? Did he manage to hand over my ring to him?
The questions proved overwhelming in my heart that my tears began to fall from both disappointments from what has happened in the past and happiness for what he has become. Seeing me weep, Uncle Thomas immediately got up and stood by my side as he hugs me.
The following days were spent learning more and more about the time I spent in the renaissance. My uncle is right. Nothing changed. Lorenzo had complete control over the narrative. Sandro remained unmarried in history and Giuliano has always been promised to Semiramade Appiani and no one else. I remained in the shadows after all. Just like my father.
Strolling in the busy street of London, I suddenly began to reminisce about the streets of Florence. Funny how I miss the muddy and dusty streets against a concrete floor.
My dress no longer needs to be at the length of the floor nor do my ankles need to stay hidden. However, the vehicles of this era kept surprising me.
As I stop to wait for the pedestrians to walk past the crossing, I noticed someone I once knew. As I cross the street, my line of vision became closer to her for me to be certain that it was indeed her.
There's a glimmer of joy inside me that aches for me to stop and hug her but it may have been a lifetime ago for us. I'm no longer certain if she will welcome me as if nothing happened.
As I debate whether I should approach her or not, I suddenly began to panic and walk away when I saw her turning towards me.
Pushing a pram, Elizabeth began to smile upon seeing me. "Emma?"
Unable to walk away anymore, I smiled back and spoke. "Elizabeth."
"It has been years, I'm so glad to finally see you." She said as she smiles sweetly at me.
If I had not found the stone and met Botticelli, seeing Elizabeth like this would have still hurt me, but now, I could only feel nothing but elation upon seeing her happy. "Yes, it has been."
Her smile lingers until she spoke, "I know that we had difficult circumstances years before, I just wanted to apo-"
I cut her off before she could finish, knowing what she'll say. "Please, there's no need to apologize. That has happened in the past and I have completely accepted and moved on from it." I said, reassuring her with my genuine smile.
Relief washes over her face as she smiles back. "I was just on my way home if you want to come and over. We can talk over some tea if you like."
Since I came back here, I have realized how small my life was and the people I have connected with. Seeing Elizabeth makes me yearn for something familiar. Nodding my head, yes, I spoke, "I would love to, thank you."
As we drink our teas, I began to wonder if perhaps it's because I keep losing people in my life that my heart began to ache for anything I've known before.
The sounds of children playing in the yard made me turn to watch them. Elizabeth's children were so lively and carefree. "You have lovely children," I said as I smiled at them. My eyes, however, were especially glued on her eldest boy which only reminded me of my son Giulio.
"Yes, though sometimes they may be a bit headstrong for me, I still love them dearly." I turn back to her and smile as I felt a tug on my chest.
"Sounds like your children took after your stubbornness." I kid, chuckling before I take another sip of my tea.
Elizabeth laughs. "Yes, well I remember it runs in the family I suppose." The sudden memory of our mischievous times together ran through my mind as I smile. "It seems you have remarried once again. I'm so happy for you." She said, eyeing my ruby ring. "Do you have children of your own now?" She continued, making me remember everything that has happened to me.
"Thank you." I began as I look down at my ring as well. I was unable to formulate an answer to her question. Not knowing whether I should tell her the truth, my mind simply decided on taking on answers that are true enough for her to hear as I look up at her. "I did, but lost my son when he was only a baby."
She placed her hand on her chest as sadness takes over her lovely face. "Forgive me, I did not realize how reckless my question was."
"It's quite alright. You did not know." Looking at the ring once again, a question rang through my mind. Shall I tell her the truth? If Botticelli was here, would he have encouraged me to let them know of the moments they were not there to witness? "There are some things I think I must let you know—" Before I could finish, the door instantly opened as the children all gathered towards him.
"I'm home!" He said. When he entered the threshold, two of his children were hanging on each of his arms playfully like monkeys as they laugh. For some reason, though I am within his property, the thought of seeing him again did not enter my mind. I was too preoccupied with the joy I felt seeing Elizabeth once again. His smile soon disappeared as he laid his eyes on me. "Emma..." He said, almost in a whisper. He slowly relaxed his arm enough to let the kids stand on their feet. "Children, go play outside I will be there shortly." He said to them before bringing his eyes to us again.
Both of us stood up, and then Elizabeth greeted her husband with a kiss before gesturing toward me. "I stumbled upon my dear cousin on my way home so I invited her for tea. Will you come to join us?" She asks.
It's been so many years now since I last saw him. Most of his features have matured but his blue eyes remained cool as they are now. Seeing him happier now, I realized that I can truly let go of the pain I once held in my heart. "I hope you do not mind. It's been so long." These are the words that I can only say at the moment.
I saw something in his eyes that says he is happy to see me before guilt and shame covers his face. "Yes, it has been."
When he joined us, there is now tension between the three of us. Perhaps it's because for so long, we never thought we would see each other again. "So where have you been these past years?" Elizabeth said, breaking the tension.
"I have been quite around. Before Italy joined the Axis, I stayed there and met someone." I said, trying to come up with details that would fit the narrative of their time.
That is when Alec saw my ring. "I see. Congratulations on your wedding." He said as he smiled. "Where's your husband?"
Sipping some more of my tea, before speaking. "He remained in Italy for a while. I'm afraid he cannot leave his work."
"Oh, I see. What does he do?" Elizabeth asked enthusiastically.
"He's a painter and restorer at Uffizi museum," I said, almost revealing his true identity.
"I see. Will we ever meet him?" She asked again.
Seeing Botticelli's face in my mind, my shoulders slump as my heart beats faster at the very memory of him. "We'll see." That is when a thought suddenly came into my head. If I were to completely welcome them in my life, I must first have closure to the past that I was unable to close before. "There is something I must tell you both," I said, preparing myself to open up about something I never thought I would again.
"What is it?" Elizabeth asks as she places the tea on the table.
"I know it has been years, almost feels like a lifetime ago since we all see each other. I have wanted to start anew with you both but before I could, I want to tell you something I have been keeping for the last years."
I can see agitation from both of them, especially Alec. "Do go on." He said, encouraging me to continue.
It was at that moment I shared the times they were not around. How I was pregnant, lost the baby at 4 months, and caught to the time I saw them together before we officially divorced. Elizabeth began to weep. The truth about the things I have been experiencing they were not aware of is too great for her. After all, she is a mother now as well.
When she wipes her cheeks off, she collected herself and began to speak. "Forgive us, we did not know."
I smiled. "As I said before, there is nothing to forgive you for. Perhaps we were all too young to realize it. Rush into things that we did not know we should have taken time to think about first. I understand and accept that now. I'm simply happy for you both."
Elizabeth smiled before looking at her husband who then nodded toward her. "We appreciate your courage to open up to us about the things you have been through. In turn, I think we should also admit the things we kept from you." Alec said.
Curious, I stay silent for them to continue. "Do you remember that time when I opened up to you on my birthday?" She asks as I recall what she's talking about. Upon remembering it, I nodded then she spoke once again. "The man I was referring to was Alec. I have been seeing him for quite sometime before that happened."
It all suddenly makes sense now. It is the reason why suddenly, Elizabeth's visits and letters declined when Alec and I started to be close to one another. "Why did you keep this from me?"
Sighing, Elizabeth muster up the courage to be direct before speaking. "You are like a sister to me. Seeing you happy with him, I realized that I can let things go. You have lost more than I did, I thought letting you be happy once would be an amazing thing for you."
"Not at the cost of your happiness," I said.
She shook her head. "In this life, we both sacrificed so much. We only choose which ones are we to fight for."
Touched by her words, I was left silent. Dumbfounded by the revelation. "It is also the reason why your father has been insistent on keeping us from getting married." Alec chimed. "Somehow, he became aware of our past and confront me and Elizabeth about it."
At the mention of my father, my tears began to fall. "He told us that we should tell you about it before your wedding. He told us that we should tell you the truth and let you decide for yourself." Elizabeth said as she wipes her cheeks once again. "But when I was about to, the way you talk about how happy and excited you are about getting married, my heart could not fathom shattering it. So instead, I distance myself from your life in the hopes of you and Alec's happy married life."
Alec stretched his arm out to lend me his handkerchief. When I take it, I used it to wipe my tears as well. "I understand now," I said, my voice breaking from crying.
"But please know, what happened with us was not planned. We did not mean for things to happen. They just did." Elizabeth said with her pleading eyes.
"I know. I was simply not aware or did not heed the signs that I'm not meant for Alec, but you." I said, finally able to smile. "Thank you. For telling me this."
With that said, Elizabeth stood up and went towards me for a tight hug. I hugged her back and in a single moment, every past weight I have been carrying within me soon vanishes.
As I walk on my way home, I feel so light and happy. When I passed by a store, I noticed a book about famous renaissance artists that completely caught my attention. The cover of it shows the sculptures of Michaelangelo along with the paintings of Da Vinci, Rafael, and my beloved Botticelli.
I quickly went inside to buy the book and continued to walk back home. When I got back, I saw Uncle Thomas reading the newspaper when I kissed him on the forehead. "You were gone long. Where have you been?" He ask while his eyes did not leave the paper In front of him.
"Deighton's residence." As soon as he heard the mention of their names, he quickly place the newspaper on the table, giving me his full attention. "We told each other about everything," I said with a smile.
At first, he was worried, but then a smile crept up to his face upon seeing me happy. "They did eh?"
"Yes," I said simply.
"What will you do about this newly found information of yours?"
Reaching the stone from my bag, I showed it to my Uncle before speaking. "I think it is time I go back to my husband."