I felt a sickening feeling as soon as we were back in Florence. I thought I already succeeded in my plan to keep him away until Easter yet here we are, back in the palazzo de Medici.
Lucrezia suddenly became ill and specifically asked for Giuliano's presence. She would not see me so I was left out of her chambers. I decided to wait by the corridor, away from her room as I wait for news.
Suddenly I heard footsteps coming my way. Lorenzo walks toward me with a smile. "Forgive me, I would have given you more time if it was not for my mother's health." He began as his hands are on his back.
"Your mother's health is of importance. I am more than willing to go back with him if she needs him." I said as I force a smile on my face.
He stared at me for a few seconds before responding. "I can see your disappointment." Caught in the act, I decided to look away in shame. "No, please. I know it must have been frustrating. Giuliano has mentioned you were supposed to get married upon receiving my letter."
Looking back at him, I nodded in response. "It was not planned, but we can get married anytime." I lied. I'm truly disappointed not because we didn't marry right away but because we are back in Florence ahead of time. Now I'm back in fearing for Giuliano's safety and I could not even tell anyone but Botticelli.
"If you say so. Meanwhile, Sandro is at the studio. It's best to start posing for the painting your fiancé has commissioned."
I have completely forgotten about the painting. I was so engrossed in keeping Giuliano away.
Lorenzo walked with me as we head to the studio. Once inside, Botticelli has already prepared his equipment and a chair is situated in front of him. When I sat down, Lorenzo began to speak. "I insist that you be painted with this." He showed me a gold necklace with a Roman engraved gem.
He went behind me and places the necklace around my neck. "It is my gift to you, as you will soon be a part of the family." He continued.
Upon his statement, I instantly look over at Botticelli who has been avoiding my eyes. "Thank you, Lorenzo," I said, as Lorenzo stood next to Botticelli.
"You're welcome. Now if you'll excuse me. I need to attend to some business." With one last smile, he left the room.
Neither one of us decided to talk. I feel uncomfortable. Now that I have realized my love for Giuliano, I'm still certain of my feelings for him but could it be possible to love two men at the same time?
"I heard you and Giuliano went to Pisa." He said while his eyes are still on the panel.
I felt a pang in my chest upon realizing he hasn't glanced at me once since I came in. Not wanting to say anything, I decided to focus on something else as I answer. "Yes, we did."
"Judging by how early you came home, I can only assume that you were not successful." He said impassively.
Since my pregnancy, he has treated me differently. I'm disappointed but I can never expect him to behave toward me the same way before any of this happened. My eyes began to well but I muster every courage in my being to hold it in.
"I do not know what to do. I wanted to save him and I thought I was succeeding until today."
"Then we must do whatever we can tomorrow."
I was not able to bring myself to sleep last night. Today could be Giuliano's last day. It all depends on me and Botticelli. I feel sick to my stomach. My anxiety is slowly eating the best of me and I could not do anything.
My stomach began to ache. Clutching my belly, I began to sit by the bed in pain. No longer sure if it's the anxiety that makes my stomach ache or my baby. Even so, I began to cry.
I heard the door open, followed by someone rushing into me. Giuliano kneels in front of me, his face is filled with worry. "Antonia, what's wrong?"
Wincing in pain, I held his hand for support as my other still clutch my belly. "It hurts." Is the only words I can manage.
"Lay down, I do not think it's best if you come to the mass." He said, worry still visible in his eyes.
"Will you stay with me?" I ask as I look pleadingly into his eyes.
"I want to, but I have already promised my ailing mother I will be there by her side during the mass." He said regretfully.
"Then I'm coming too," I said, forcing myself to stand despite the pain.
"My love, please you are not well." He insisted.
"I cannot lose you," I said, my words slipping, unable to control myself as I'm distracted by pain.
His face softens as he cups my face. "You will never lose me. I will always be here with you."
"Then take me with you." I no longer know what those words meant. Am I willing to face death to protect him?
Seeing my persistence, Giuliano agreed. "If you can no longer withstand the pain, promise me you will come home to rest."
Deep down, I know I will stubbornly stay no matter how painful it gets but in order to keep him in my sight, I know I have to tell him what he wants to hear. "I promise."
I could not bring myself to be apart from Giuliano. Everywhere he goes, I go too. Although he finds it sweet, I can only feel uneasy. I keep looking around for anyone suspicious but I realized that I have no idea what they all look like.
Frustration and anxiety increase in my belly especially now that we're on our way to the church. My grip on Giuliano's hands tightens as we drew closer.
Giuliano notices and whispers in my ear as he looks at me. "Are you in pain?"
I shake my head no and muster a smile I could manage. "No, I'm alright. Just feeling a little tired is all."
"We can always turn back, Antonia."
"But we're already here, and I don't think I can walk back," I said upon reaching the church. When I look up, I smiled and realized that I need to tell him something before we reach enter inside. "I love you."
He was taken aback. For 2 years, despite his undeniably charming personality, I have never uttered those words to him even when he has multiple times. Smiling gratefully, he kisses my head and says, "I love you."
Much to Lucrezia's chagrin, Giuliano had me seated in their pews. I saw my Aunt Simona earlier but was too anxious to even smile upon seeing her. I keep looking around the church, trying to find a way out when they started their attack but realizing how far the pews of Medici is from the exit, I realized that we could be easily blocked by the crowd of people gathered for the mass.
As the mass begins, my belly starts to ache. I try to hold in the pain but when the priest started the homily, I could no longer hold it in. Giuliano notices me wincing in pain. "Antonia, let me take you home, please. Stop being stubborn. My son might be in danger." He whispers.
Succumbing to the pain, I finally conceded. As everyone was asked to stand, Giuliano and I are preparing to leave when all of a sudden, someone grabs his shoulders and started stabbing him. I screamed upon seeing a dagger in his stomach. As everyone else notices what's happening, the crowd hurries away in panic.
Despite the commotion, I willingly try to cover Giuliano from the barrage of daggers on his body. I no longer care anymore. If I may lose my life tonight, at least I'll die trying. I felt a slash on my side and I wince in pain but it did not stop the oncoming onslaught for Giuliano.
I saw his eyes upon seeing me hurt. I held his hand tightly but was pushed away by one of the attackers. I was ready to fall to the ground when someone catches me before I could reach the floor.
Now, a meter away, I can see the assault being done on Giuliano's body and I could only cry. I try to reach out for him but a pair of arms stops me. My tears fall on the bloody floor as I continually reach out for Giuliano.
When they're done, Lorenzo appeared in the barred baptistry, showing everyone the bloodied neck he has received as the attackers ran away from the church.
The people saw the horrendous act on the holy ground, they started to cry in anger as they try to search for the attackers outside. While everyone else is busy, I immediately pull away from the grip of my savior and crawl toward the dead body of Giuliano.
His blood pooled around him and his body is filled with wounds, his eyes are lifeless and open. I can only cry at the sight.
The once beautiful man lay lifeless on the floor. Lucrezia started wailing upon seeing his son. She immediately runs towards him, kneels, and hugs his body. The pain I felt on my side was now forgotten.
I can only feel so much from what has happened. In shock, I can only stare at his body while my tears continue to fall down my cheeks.
"Antonia, you're bleeding!" Botticelli says as he rushes towards me. He tries to put pressure on my wound but I could feel nothing. He wraps my arm around his shoulder and helped me get up.
I was immediately brought back to the palazzo. Everyone else was still outside. They brought the body of Giuliano along with me, and after that, I could no longer remember what happened the rest of the day.
Despite not witnessing it, I knew what happened next. They will catch every single one of the attackers and the conspirators and have them hanged outside the signoria. Da Vinci would later sketch one of the hanged men and Lorenzo would be more powerful than ever.
When I woke up, I suddenly felt a sting on my side. When I look down, I saw my side bandaged and tended to by a physician. I wanted it to only be a dream. I wanted it not to be real. I remember the look he gave me before he passed, the way he clutches my hand and I can only do nothing.
I could not help but wish I just died along with him. I began to weep. He did not deserve this. Not even by one bit. How unfair is it that I get to mess the history and never change this one thing I intended to? I did everything that I could and still ended up being unable to save him.
I have been crying for days, I'm inconsolable. Perhaps our son knew the attackers are about to take their first move. I should have given in to the pain as soon as I felt it. It must have been my son telling me that I should bring Giuliano out but I did not listen and now he's dead because of me.
In a modest funeral, Giuliano was laid to rest in his father's tomb in the Church of San Lorenzo. I can no longer cry as there are no more tears left in my eyes. When they all left, I found myself still standing by his tomb, holding a geranium flower.
I failed to say goodbye, but I can only find relief in the fact that I have confessed my love for him before his time. Remembering his sweet smile, his warm embrace, and the way he looks at me, I lay the flower by his tomb and whisper, "We love you."
After the death of his brother, Lorenzo grew paranoid. Florence is now at war with the Holy See. I was asked to stay within the palazzo at all times as it progresses. There's little support from Bologna and Milan but I know Lorenzo. He always rises in adversity.
"I blame you for the loss of my son and quite possibly for everything that's happening right now!" Lucrezia screams as she tries to lunge at me but was blocked by Lorenzo.
"Mother, enough!" He said as he keeps his mother away from me.
"Ever since you came into our lives, bad things started to happen! And now my son is dead!"
I blame myself too. I have been since he lay lifeless on the floor. My eyes suddenly filled with tears as my heart started to ache. It has always been me right before she points the blame my way.
The pain escalates then I started to feel my stomach aching once again. Suddenly, a liquid fell between my legs. When I look down, transparent liquid pools around my feet. Both Lorenzo and Lucrezia stop as we all realize what's happening. I'm about to give birth.