Kara has asked us to teach him horse-riding but considering he is an outlander coming from a different world, I doubted he had resources so for now, he was at my place using my family horses to train. It was a weekend so we had two days off and it would enough time for him to get used to the basics. I wouldn't do the teaching pat, obviously but for some reason Amelia didn't join us. She might have more important things to worry about.
We weren't exactly friends but now that I was in with the secret, I had no reasons to really target him. Scofinia and Deem have rather good relations and the nobles tend to get along extremely well so when I heard some random nobody showed up and saved two nobles of Scofinia, I was confused and suspected of some sort of foul play. It was all too coincidental in my opinion but now that misunderstanding was cleared up. He seemed like a rather... how should I put it... Troubled? He has hard time reading the room, he says things in a straight-forward manner and stays calm even in dire situations considering he did kill someone. But even all of that seemed like a lie. It all felt too perfect. Almost as if he was putting up an act.
We were in my backyard where he was with the tutor while I was sitting at a garden table sipping on a cup of tea with some desserts.
While the riding instructor was teaching him how to treat a horse, he seemed really worried about hurting the animal and so he was extremely careful with how he moved. It was kind of funny seeing him out of his comfort zone but at the same time, he was doing something new. He did say it was to run away but I think because he is given the duty to look after a grand order, he wants to make sure he is ready to make an escape in case this kingdom ends up in war. I don't think he is a bad person but someone who is trying to act. It's all too easy to tell when he is lying.
After about a couple hours, he came back and sat next to me all tired.
"My back hurts." He whined.
"Oh? Is that so? Cry more. It's music to my ears."
He side-eyed me before sighing.
"It might not be as difficult as I expected it to. But given such a duty, I wonder if I can do it correctly."
"You mean raising Ahankar? I doubt there is a right way to raising a child."
"I wonder." He took out that weird device of his again and starting reading something. All of the texts he read were in languages I didn't understand so I wonder what exactly he is reading.
"Hey, what are you reading, by the way?" I asked.
"Child psychology. Basically a book on how to raise a child correctly. Children are fragile and even a slight mishap can cause damage. Children remember everything, even the tiniest of details that an adult might ignore. Children are not stupid and even understand emotional cues. To me, raising a child is a job that needs utmost care. I know I will make mistakes. Everyone does. What matters is how you resolve things. You can't always blame things on external factors. So, it's important to set an example."
"Oh? I didn't know someone like you could be THAT sensitive." I answered. I liked the answer because it showed how careful he was with others. He might try to hide it behind some stupid lies but he cares about even smallest of details.
"Only with children. Someone like you? I might prefer feeding you rotting food." He said and there he goes again.
"Do you even have the money to purchase rotting food, Mr. No Magic?" I said.
"I have skills that would make my status as magicless pointless."
"What skill? Of not having a life? Aren't you always in your room? No friends? No maidens?"
"Y-You- But regardless, I do have a friend, Amelia. And for maidens... I don't need one." He answered.
"You don't NEED one or you can't GET one? Which one is it?" I laughed.
"Whatever." He looked away.
One my maids poured him was about to pour him a cup of tea too but he quickly refused stating he doesn't drink tea.
"Then what do you drink? Wine?" I asked.
"Coffee." He answered. "I prefer not so sweet drinks, so, I rarely ever drink fruit juice too."
"Pretentious." I rolled my eyes at his answer but he just shrugged it off.
I wonder if we would've been in this situation if I had never followed him to the office. I might've never found out his truth and we wouldn't be sitting here making fun of each other and passing snarky comments. It's nice and refreshing for me too. I always have to behave a certain way and others have to behave a certain way too in front of me given my status. This felt more human to me.
"Hey, want to ride the horse with me? I can show you around." I said before standing up. He agreed and we were off to get on a horse. He held onto the hem of my shirt. I could tell he was somewhat scared which was adorable.
"Hey, don't get too close." I joked before kicking the horse on the side to make him walk a little. We were off to the main city but it was still a bit far away. We were passing by the farmlands filled with crops, farmers and cattle. The scene showed how prosperous our lands were.
Just as we were enjoying the scenery, something scared the horse and unable to handle him, both of us fell off with me on top of him. It did hurt a little so I laid there on top of him for a couple seconds.
I was about to get off him but he roughly pushed me away using both his arms and legs and scooted away from me. I was about to apologize for the mishap but seeing him told a different story. He was shaking and breathing heavily for some reason. He was sitting there still. I walked over to him to ask what was wrong but he just refused to look at me and covered his face. It worried me but I couldn't think of a reason to why he acted the way he did.
"Hey? What's wrong?" I asked in a concerned tone. I didn't care about the horse running away anymore because what was in front of me felt way more important.
"I...I- I'm sorry." Even his voice was shaking. I could tell he was trying to hide the fact that he was crying.
This was setting off all the alarms. Something is definitely wrong here and I can't pinpoint it. I stood up and dusted my dress and kneeled down to him again.
"Hey, it's okay. Please at least tell me what's wrong."
No answer.
I stood up again and scanned the area. There were a few people a little far away.
I walked up to them and greeted them before asking one to go to my estate and get a carriage as quickly as possible. I don't think he can walk back home in this state and also I asked for at least two people to help him into the carriage and to his room.
Something terrible must have happened to him to the point where he actually kicked me away. This extreme reaction and knowing him personally just doesn't fit together. I don't think it's appropriate to pry into his past given we aren't close friends yet.
...
Back in the estate, I was in my own room all alone. There was a maid standing outside in case I needed anything. I felt so embarrassed with how I acted and I also kicked Elena. We were barely becoming friends when I did something so bad to her.
But I couldn't help it. When she fell on top of me, it reminded me of all the time when... when she forced herself on me in name of love. I felt so disgusted and the moment I had opened my eyes back then, it all flashed in front me and I kicked Elena away who is completely blameless in this situation. I don't even know how to apologize properly because how I acted needed a proper explanation. She isn't anybody. She is a noble, raised a first daughter of a duke of a fairly large kingdom. She has standards she has to live up to and how she expected respect from others given her status. I can't apply my world's standards to her but I honestly don't want to give her an explanation... but if I don't then my apology might come off as shallow.
"Hey... Noelle?" I called the maid in.
"Yes, Mr. Kara?" She asked.
"I can't tell Elena the truth but I think cooking a dessert might help. Can you show me the way to kitchen?" She obliged and showed me to the kitchen.
She was eating cake with her cup of tea so maybe I should make something slightly similar. Mochi might work and with the help of the kitchen staff we began working on making a bunch of mochi.