ASHNA WAKES UP TO HAPPY noises, which was something she had not heard for so long in her house. Most of the time, all the sound that filled the house was silence.
Sheer, deafening silence.
She slept for two hours straight after she came from college today. She drags herself out of her bed where everyone was in the living room. There were new faces in the house which she recognised well. Her sweet cousins and her cool aunt, that's how Ashna puts it.
"Dida," the smallest of the two, Maria, a lively girl of five runs to Ashna before she is out among them and subconsciously or maybe conscious of the love she had, Ashna pulls the little girl in her arms, off the floor. As her smile grows larger and laughs flutter the space, Ashna finds herself laughing too.
"Dida, I missed you," Maria says, pecking Ashna's cheek slightly, making her smile grow as she hugs her tighter and then lets her down on the floor.
Walking to where everyone is sitting on the sofa, Ashna greets her aunt and brother, Mann, lovingly caressing his head. He smiles shyly at Ashna and her aunt smiles sheepishly.
Ashna always admired her aunt for she knows her story. She was left alone with her four year old daughter and six year old son, to live in a house so vast that even her own shadow would have scared her. While her husband lived away somewhere cozy into the arms of a woman she was not.
Though she understood that it was an extra-marital affair which her aunt could ignore and yet live in through life for the sake of her children, Ashna feels proud that she opted to get out of that relationship of bounded marriage.
Ashna always wished, if only Ivanya had this courage.
But maybe Ivanya has nothing, neither financial independence, nor college, not even family any more. Maybe the fact that she had chosen this man for herself keeps her binded.
Maybe, someone has not tried enough for Ivanya when she clearly could not do it for herself.
As much as it is true that only a person can pull oneself from some things in life, or bring those tremendous changes every one asks them to, it holds much of truth to that oftentimes, people are so dip in a pit of their own minds that they need help. As Ivanya did.
Not as big of a help to pull them out of the darkness but at least enough to show them that there is a world out of this darkness, and that it is possible to come out of it.
Ivanya needed just that much help for even when frail as a lily, Ivanya had in her those guts to be the thorn of roses.
Perhaps, Ashna needed a little help too. To see that the world was not only darkness, that love was not painful violet marks, or lonely blues.
Ashna sits on the sofa, beside her brother with Maria in her lap. Maria was a name Ashna had suggested, only because she loved Hwasa's Maria song too much. Maybe this was the reason and even if it was not, Ashna had a special place for Maria in her heart.
Ramya chatted happily with her close friend who was asking Ashna about her studies in between. Ashna answers her questions then goes back to asking the same questions to Mann.
He answers precisely, not a word more or less. Every time after he had answered, Ashna had to think of anything else to ask. Small talk was just not easy with this kid.
So she diverted her attention to Maria who was answering her brother's questions too in between. Maybe this was also why Ashna loved Maria so much. At least she does not ignore me.
Ashna squeezes Maria's cheek as she was playing rock, paper, scissors with her when her aunt asks, "How's Ivanya, Ashna?"
She asks Ashna and not her mother because she knows only Ashna knew how she was.
Ivanya was the sweetest kid, the type who used to tell every little thing to her mother. Except for one, ofcourse.
Ashna might not know everything but she was sure, there was nothing sweet about the sweetest kid now, not even she herself.
"Fine," Ashna lies and even if she had tried to remain casual, it came out sad, in a whisper. As she thinks of Ivanya, tears stung her eyes and what she could remember of Ivanya now was just pain, marks, scratches and wounds.
Mann was already at the table at the wall, below the TV, he had found his favourite Rubik's cube to play.
Only after that little game is played, it comes to realize how not so easy it is to keep all colours on one side, separate from each other. One always remains merged with another. But, if one knows the drill like Mann knew, it can be solved five times in five minutes just as he did.
Ashna knew what talks followed. Her aunt was going to advise her mother to advise Ivanya to leave her husband and come back to the house. The house whose owner had told his daughter he considered her dead.
Maybe if her aunt knew the hidden parts of their family, like any other in the world, she would not be suggesting such things. One way or another, Ashna had no wish to sit and hear the same talks, or to see her mother crying cause she just has helplessness for her daughter.
And advicing who? Ivanya? She chose this for herself.
Maybe if Ivanya did not make the choice herself and married someone as told by the family, she at least would have a place to come back to. Perhaps, there really was no problem in accepting so considering how obedient of a daughter she was, except Ivanya was in love.
And love does incredible things to people, as well deadly things.
Ivanya was tamed and deluded by her emotions so much that she could not see the truth. Water did not remain clear for her, it had turned muddy the day she met Shekhar.
"Maria," Ashna makes the little kid sitting in her lap look up at her, who was just too busy analysing the multiple ringlets in her fingers.
"It's pretty", she says in utter awe, holding Ashna's little finger up to show Ashna. Her eyes held a little less yet the same intimidation she had while looking at rainbows, her lips turned up in a cheeky smile that caused dimples.
Ashna smiles at her and after a pause, she adds, "You wanna see some more ringlets?" Maria nods impatiently, her smile widening as eyes sparkle in excitement.
Ashna carries Maria to her room in her arms, calling Mann to come with her but the little man denies clearly with a firm shake of his head.
Opening the door and switching on the light, she sits Maria at the centre of her bed who giggles falling down on it, right in front of the door.
Ashna's room was small and not very spacious, and a little messy. To the left of the bed was the nightstand whose drawers were filled with chargers, cables, earbuds and headsets.
Joined to it was her study table whose front led to the wooden almirah. Her door did not open full because at the back of it were hangers she hung used clothes on, which needed to be washed.
She could not stand up on her table because above it was her bookshelf, on top were some artifacts, some white boxes she had so many things stored up. Ashna pulls one of those stacked boxes, looking for those ringlets she promised to show Maria.
However, Maria's eyes were glimmering in wonder and stuck at those starry lights plastered on the edges of her roof at the corners from her wardrobe to the study table. Ashna smiles looking at Maria who was looking so intimidated at those lights, it is then her phone rings.
Ivan
It was six. The evening was coloring the sky in shades she borrowed from the sun while using the suspended dust as paint brushes.
Before Ashna could leave the boxes behind, Maria helps her pick the call, "Hello", she speaks. "Dida is showing me ringlets," she tells happily and then turns detective, "who are you?"
"Her friend?" A voice the exact opposite of Maria's soft and sweet tone speaks, rather questions.
"Boyfriend?"