ASHNA HAD NO IDEA HOW she was going to meet Ivan even when it was her who had asked him.
When little Maria picked up the call, Ivan did not speak for seconds before he was sure the one mismatched blabber of the sweet talk was coming from someone who definitely was not whose voice he called to hear.
Ashna knew he loved listening to the voice of Maria as she could hear his laugh through the phone which she kept on speaker taking from Maria. God knows, his laugh felt hot. It erupted feelings inside her that nothing ever did.
Or maybe Ashna was just not thinking straight, as she had not been for quite a few days.
"Are you the boyfriend of dida?" She had initiated the conversation from here and taken it up to the ringlets, complaining how her sister had not yet shown her more of those shiny things.
Ivan had talked to Maria as if he knew her for so long, as if they were best friends or siblings who had only love for each other. He supported her in his complaint against Ashna.
Ashna was hardly able to take the phone from Maria after giving her the entire box full of different sizes, shapes, designs and colours of rings. She loved collecting them more than she loved wearing them.
Most of those were plain steel, bronze and silver rings. One of them was a gold ring. Only a few had gems embedded and those gems were only American diamonds, coloured and silver. Those shiny things were pretty even when they did not have much money attached to them.
She only told Ivan what was going on in the house after she asked him 'what he was doing?'
Somehow, this has become the question she asks him daily now and most of the days, Ivan just answers 'talking to you', first for an answer.
Ivan was going to cut the call when Ashna asked him what she was trying to ask for a week now. "I want to meet," she proposed, "---you."
"Hmm?" Ivan was a little shocked at the suddenness of the proposal. He had never thought about meeting Ashna even once, it was another thing that he had desired to meet her quite a few times. Infact, almost always.
He knew he was talking to Ashna, maybe a little more than friends but he wanted to give himself no other hopes, even when his heart desired more.
So much, he feared he would ever get.
"Meet?" Ashna asks softly. "I want to meet you, see you."
Ivan swallows a gulp.
"Ashna!!" Her mother calls from the living room.
Before Ivan can answer, she says, "Okay, mummy's calling, byee!!" She pulls the phone away to disconnect the call but quickly takes it back to her ear as she adds, "and you should say bye! And think of coming, okay!"
"Okay," Ivan says and Ashna disconnects the call, a perched smile on her face. Maria looks at her and giggles, "Your boyfriend is nice Dida," making Ashna laugh.
Ashna wonders if she should warn Maria of not speaking anything about the call to people outside. But she decided otherwise. 'Maria is only a child after all.' She thinks to herself.
Even if Ivan and her were not anything like that, hell, they did not have even met once until now. But after what happened regarding Ivanya, she knew better than her parents accepting another of their daughters talking about love or anything like that, in any way.
"Ashna!!" Her mother calls again. Ashna looks at Maria cheekily smiling up at her, pointing up three ringlets at her, "I want these", she pouts.
Ashna nods, "Yes, take them," pecking her cheek. She pulls Maria in her arms and down on the floor making her giggle loud.
Maria holds her little finger as they walk out of the room. Her aunt was ready to leave and Mann was already standing at the door, looking like wanting to run away as quickly as possible.
Maria runs to her mother, showing off the rings who smiles at her daughter telling her that they were pretty. Then she smiles at Ashna, as she thanks her and Ashna brushes it off with a smile of her own. Goodbyes were said.
They were just out of the door when Maria said, "Bye Dida, say bye to your boyfriend too!" A wide cheeky smile spread across her face.
Ashna intakes a large breath, her mother, her aunt having their eyes fixed at her, while Mann stands unbothered. Her mother looked most dubious.
"College, Classmate." Ashna lies at once, " Maria misunderstood."
Ramya nods, smiles back on their faces. When all guests have left, Ashna walks towards her room, upstairs when Ramya calls, "Ashna".
She turns to her mother, whose expression was back to how it was a few seconds back when she was looking with questioning eyes at her, about the 'boyfriend' Maria had mentioned.
She really should have warned Maria but then, maybe it would have made it more suspicious if she blurted, "Ashna dida ask me not to tell you, but her boyfriend called her".
"Hmm, mummy," Ashna looks unbugged at her but she budges a little, swallowing when her mother warns, "Don't forget, " taking a sharp and frustrated breath.
Sighing, Ramya makes it clear to Ashna, "We don't want it again, don't forget–" Her voice breaks. Ashna still looks her right in the eye.
"Forget what?" She knows she is testing her own mother.
She knows well what she does not have to forget. Even in her dreams, they never let her. Warnings, clear and unclear, taunts and sometimes sweet words coming from her mother, keep her in check.
They do not want her to fall in love. But is that something one plans?
"Don't forget what happened with Ivanya." Her mother's words were clear and sharp and made a statement that needed to be followed.
Even when it was her who had finally convinced her husband to let Ivanya marry whoever she wanted, she made strict rules for Ashna.
The words mark themself in the mind of Ashna for the thousandth time in the past few years. She is still not sure which part of it all was worse among all that happened with Ivanya. She fell for the wrong guy, or she lost her family in the process.
Or that it brought Ashna into a hell she could not escape because the door charges were too high.
Ashna still remembers when she had asked her parents to convince Ivanya to divorce Shekhar, to make her understand that he was not going to change like she foolishly thought; that if he did it once, he was going to do it again.
What her parents asked of her had shocked her, made her feel disgust towards them. They wanted to help their daughter if she agreed to marry the guy they had chosen for her.
Ashna did not so much as trust romantic relationships but one thing she has never been able to comprehend and that was an arranged marriage. She also knew that Ivanya would never, not at that stage at least, agree to it.
Ivanya was deluding herself. It was not only others who spoke mellifluous words to her but she was whispering sweet little lies to herself too, even believing them.
There was really nothing happy about the aimless, loveless, lone and submissive life she had, in fact, she did not even have a life of her own anymore.
She was still believing that once the stress of their company's continuous failures goes away, Shekhar would not be drinking so much. And that sober Shekhar did not beat Ivanya.
He only muttered sorrys until he thrashed her again. She had later realised though that sober Shekhar did not value her enough. That sober Shekhar also hated that she brought nothing.
No dowry, no assistance and finances to support his business from her family. And she also did not give him and his family what was desired the most. An heir.
Ashna had screamed her throat until it ached, about how they should let Ivanya stay but her father had asked her to leave, broken like that if she had no plans to do as he asked.
Like a dead flower scrunched under someone's feet, Ivanya had left without a word. Since then, she had never been home. And they had never been to hers, if there even was any.
Ashna looks at her mother with detesting eyes as she remembers the day Ivanya was brought broken from the hospital and all this doom had happened, closing every door for her sister.
God knows how many times she was beaten, how many screams she had cried, how many tears she cried, how much pain she suffered, and suffers even today. And they, her own family, had no idea of it.
She had always heard parents loved their children but they would ask for prices, she never knew. Obedience was the price their parents demanded.
If it meant closing your heart to obey them, Ashna agreed to give it to them.
Her eyes ache. She nods at her mother and then silently climbs the stairs to her room. She was not going the path of love anyway.
But at times, fate loves to drag one on paths that are to be avoided the most.